ADHD and lying | ADHD Information
ditto on the depression thing... Let your Dr. know. And if it gets worse or death starts to sound like a nice idea.. Get thee to an Emergency room OK?
Hugs
I lie a LOT-- never about anything important though. I always tend to lie about why I was late. I can't say, "well, I was in the shower and started thinking about random cool stuff that made me really happy, and I started feeling really good and euphoric and started giggling and dancing and singing, and I simply lost track of time. Sorry to be late for the 4th time this week." or "I was watching TV. Katie Couric was helping a chef make some dish and they were having a good time and it was way more interesting than getting dressed. I lost track of time. Sorry to be a half hour late to work."
For some reason, I think it seems a lot more reasonable to say that I overslept or got stuck in traffic than that I had to return to the house 4 times before I could finally get my keys, my earrings, my cell phone, my lunch, and my briefcase in my car, and had set out the outgoing mail or took out the trash or any of the other tiny little essential items that we need and forget to bring or forget to do before we leave the house.
[QUOTE=seeker63]many times it's 'cause i can't bear to sound so stupid and unreliable. i want to be thought of as an adult (i'm 42) and not as an irresponsible child.
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Why do I sometimes feel that there are a bunch of Carbon copies of me running around?? My main reason for lying is so that I won't look stupid.. I cant stand it if someone thinks that I lack intelligence.. it makes me extremely angry.. So if I tell someone I got up late, or the alarm clock didnt go off, I don't feel stupid and can go on with my day.
but if I tell them, " i was reading the ADD message boards before work, and lost track of time." Or, l"lost my keys, and it took me 20 minutes to find them." Yeah, that might get me some " what, are you stupid," looks.
I don't know, maybe it wouldnt, I just feel really stupid when I have plenty of time to do something, then I screw up by getting sidetracked.
Sherry
my philosophy teacher once got our whole class all crazy cuz he asked us:
what wold you do if you saw a man run past you very fast. thenm a minute later, another man runs by with a knife in his hand and asks you, have you seen a guy run by?
do you tell the truth, which is the moral and just thing to do according to our world's standards? or do you lie, a sin, and tell him no?
if i have to be right and speak the truth, then im packing my bags and catching the next bus to venus. or jupiter...lots of room there. enough room for me and all my crayons! then i could spend more time on my "everything happens for a reason" bit...*still have slight headache from all that...*
i dont really know if i can call all my lies.."lies". im protecting myself a lot, i dont want to tell people i was playing with toys and my puppies and thats why im late to meet them for whatever appointment. i do know for sure, that if i lived in a world full of people who did not judge so much, or were just more understanding and allowed exceptions, i wouldn't tell all my cover up lies/not-lies
Same as Taritac, always lying about why Im late and usually late for the same reasons, the t.v, want to listen to the end of the song etc. The shower is a shocker for me, I lose all sense of time when in the shower which is why I now have one at night before bed instead of in the morning.
Hang in there Lost.I.S. Go do something that makes you feel happy and maybe find a friend that's less opinionated and a little more supportive?
I know it's easier said than done, luckily all my friends are strange in one way or another so we al just bounce off each other 
yeah- i lie like taritac. just can't always explain my behaviours, choices, actions, words.
many times it's 'cause i can't bear to sound so stupid and unreliable. i want to be thought of as an adult (i'm 42) and not as an irresponsible child.
i also hide the facts of my life socially. b/c i'm not economically on par with many ppl. i socialise with, ( when i do socialise that is), i'm quiet about those kinds of things.
i feel like a teenager when i'm with a group of adults. they're all sending their kids to college, comparing vacations and investments and their houses, and things they bought, the concerts they went to....
all i have are stories about the electricity or my phone getting shut off, my late charges, why i haven't gotten my truck fixed since the accident, why i didn't finish college (either time), why i don't have a girlfriend or wife, etc...
lying to hide, or just hiding to avoid lying. i lie a lot, but to conceal the truth about me, not to gain advantage or manipulate.
2 things:
1. adhd and lying
2. hippies/philosophers
post it. share the stories and knowledge before i completely lose my mind. send me a private message if you dont want to blast your personals on message boards. whatever way u want, please give me some stories. please please please 
1. adhd and lying is not uncommon. many many reports/comlaints from many people. i've lied in the past to get out of trouble or to not hurt someone's feelings. not alot, but more then what is considered "normal", whatever that is. sometimes its intentional, sometimes the white lie slips out like some other person in me spit it out. im embarrassed to be posting this. btu whatever, i know at least one of you will relate. a few months ago i got in an ugly fight with an ex over lying because i didnt want to hurt his feelings (it was about my health/medicine). couple day later i convinced myself to tell him the truth, that he wouldnt be hurt or scared, and that he would understand. ha. so now you all know why i hate boys. (hes the same phucker that called me retard. oh just he other day he told me that i should learn some damn discipline and then maybe my "adhd" will disappear.)
2. im changing. its freakin me out. i care less and less about sh*t i cared for a month ago, like money, clothes, love life, cell phone, oh gosh and ESPECIALLY what other people think of me. my interest levels in happiness, freedom, peace, judgment, life purpose, what else is out there; etc have all went from, on a scale of 1-5, to about a 2 to waaaaaayy out the freakin roof almost to the moon...yes almost, not quite, give it another few hours. um, not sure exactly what defines a hippie or a philosopher, but i feel like one right now darn it. still thinking about 10 million thoughts at once, they just completely did a 360 on me in one month.
we get into a me funk and stay there. thank you. reallyYes.It is depression. and it means all about me.
tell your dr.
yeah, the old 'this will only take 5 mins., and i've got 15'.
fast forward to 25 mins. later- 'oh, s**t! now i'm at least 10 mins. late! what am i gonna tell them?'
I wouldn't worry too much about your boyfriends lie. Men lie ADD or not because lets face it, the majority of women question everything and nag. Last night my boyfriend told me he had 4 beers, then I asked him again and he said 'well actually 6' He lied because he was worried I would shout at him. I prob would of.
ADD has got something to do with it, but I wouldn't worry too much about men telling little lies. It's quite common. x
This is really interesting for me to read. It helps me understand my boyfriend's lies. Once he told me that he didn't know the person on the phone. Swore he had no idea who it was. In the space of a few minutes he 'confessed' that they were friends.
It took me a while to explain: "I'd rather hear the truth." I could care less if he has a million friends, as long as he doesn't feel the need to lie about them. Now, I see it may not have been a guilty thing, but rather fear of 'getting in trouble'.
Even his other so called 'childish' activities don't make me think less of him. (For his privacy I'd rather not share what he enjoys.) At first it was a little strange to me, but I didn't automatically have a societal approach of: "This makes you childish, and immature, therfore you have a lack of intelligence."
My boyfriend is a very intelligent person. I know this, even if the average person doesn't see it. I find society's views on him to be horrid. And I certainly don't think less of him for being who he is.
After all: It was our differences that drew me to him. His sweet nature, even if, at times, it makes him forgetful. His adoration for the softer ways, even if it tends to put him at risk to people taking advantage of his good nature.
Our differences keep me with him. If he were a carbon copy of myself I would be bored. Even when I just can't seem to keep pace with his different mode of thinking, I love him for his unique approach to life.
Sometimes it is hard though, but even then I'm always reminded, "It takes a blade to cut a diamond. And all the work wasn't in vain; just look at the beautiful gleaming results." Life was meant to be difficult, at times. If it wasn't we wouldn't be able to truely appreciate the good when it occurs.
Akira_Murdock2438684.3245717593I totally relate to that. I lie. I hate to admit it, but I do. Not major lies, just little ones. Like why I was late to work, I say something bad happened on the way in, as apose to 'I forgot my travelcard, my keys etc' I feel like an idiot, constantly forgetting things. I lie to my boyfriend while we are rowing. I say silly things, little white lies. He can tell I am doing it but it's like I convince myself they are true. I feel like a loon! XX
Yeah, I lie, too.I do and say other stupoid things.
I'm sorry, everyone. Please, forgive me.
Me? I never lie.
Creative excuses.
And incomplete truths.
So they jump to conclusions?
They shoulda thought it through
My dad said that if anyone ever lied, their babies'd be born naked.
Mine weren't.
They had their birthday suits on.
I lie to myself more than to others. I have been a master at self deception. Lies are easier because the truth hurts.
[QUOTE=Akira_Murdock24]
I find society's views on him to be horrid.
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please pass 'society' this message: shove it up your a$$. 'society' has really been getting on my nerves lately...
im glad to see that you try to work with your boyfriend and attempt to understand. all my ex boyfriends swear on their life that im a 'freakin retard that should learn some discipline and quit lying'. im beginning to feel i will never get married. its not like i lie to hurt them. i lie NOT to hurt them or keep myself out of trouble, but they always take it the wrong way! they dont see why i did it when i fess up. i just get yelled at and called a string of names. makes me like i dont even want to talk to boys no more:
"honey of course youre the best basketball player on your team!!" (or "of course i like the shirt you bought me!!")
"no that guy didnt just ask me for my number, he just wanted to know the time"
"no i didnt lose the earrings you bought me! my dog swallowed them." (how could i tell him i lost them? he would automatically assume that i didnt care enough to be very careful with them, and thats not even the case. if my very own life came in the form of an earring, i would most def lost that too.)
Here's my question as a non-Add'r: Can you control the lying if you want to?
It's odd because my Add daughter doesn't bother to lie, and if she does, she's VERY bad at it. She is very "here it is, if ya don't like it, oh well". Conversely,My ADD DH lies about many things, and can even convince himself that his manufactured stories are true. On some issues, I could care less, on others, it's extremely aggravating.
I'm worried that your "not caring" is depression. Those symptoms are classic. While it's very ok to try out new personas, especially when you're young and searching for yourself, if it's that sudden and dramatic, it might be a chemical imbalance. My advice: make an appt to be sure it's not. Hang in there!
woohooo Taritac you go!!
Somehow I have actually managed to get to work on time.. so don't have to lie about why.. thank goodness..
I also live 5 minutes away from work now which helps a LOT!
As for working, I was thinking about this the other day.. I know that I've changed how I approach things when I forget stuff and the boss calls me to the carpet so to speak...
I remember one time I actually looked her straight in the eye and said, "yes, you're right, I dropped the ball on the one.. and here are the things I have done to remedy the situation so that it doesnt happen again..." It kinda appeases the powers that be, I get to save face and not feel stupid, and I didnt have to lie. (umm unless of course I didnt really implement any steps the remedy the situation! 
-- I've actually pulled that one before .. oops)
Sherry
Ragurl, ADD does not make someone lie. We know the difference between right and wrong. I think most ADDers generally lie because of shame: we're ashamed of not being able to do simple things like be on time or keep track of appointments or keep track of our keys. We're basically lying because we feel stupid.
About your daughter's not caring: I have been through periods of not even trying to keep up appearances or telling white lies to cover my ADDeled moments or even defending myself when I haven't done something wrong. I simply got tired of beating myself up for failing at something yet again or tired of people making mountains out of molehills. Because when you get right down to it, who died when I showed up for work late? Nobody. What war was started when I lost my keys this morning? Not a one.