Thanks for your replies!!!!!!!
How do I know if I am pushing???????
I dont want to push. Just want to be a friend.
what she said!
don't push, don't feel bad when you get ignored, don't take it personal when you don't hear from her for awhile.
my sense of time is very different. 5 mins to wait is forever, 3 wks. can pass in what seems like a day.
also, i am very suspicious of anyone who tries too hard to get to know me. chase me, and i'll run!
I know that I do not have many friends and most of the ones I do also have ADD. All I can suggest is don't expect to much from her. I'm not the forgetful type but many ADD/HDers are, so forgive her if shes late or doesn't show. You may even want to remind her, or pick her up when going places. Also, if you don't talk to her for a couple of days or weeks don't assume she doesn't care. If your feelings are easily hurt you might be in for a rough ride many of us have a way of being rude, brash, opinionated or abrupt or alot of things can sometimes set us off. Don't take it personally. Honesty look at what you expect out of a friendship with her and then if you are able throw those expectations out the door and be willing to accept what she is willing to give you guys should be fine. If you push her you will probably lose her because the number one thing with most of us is we hate to be pushed into a corner.I would like some advice on how to be a friend to someone that has adhd. I just started a friendship with someone who has adhd-inattentive type. I do not have adhd. I do want to be a friend and I want to understand more. I want to be understanding, but she just does not seem to have the time. She has told me that she doesnt talk to her friends often, but how can I get to know her if I dont get to talk to her? Can anyone offer me some advice or help on what I can do to make it easier on my friend? Or let her see that I want to try?
I have ADD and I have a couple of good friends. I can talk to them for hours and then for weeks we don't talk. But if one of us calls, we can still talk for hours like nothing ever happened inbetween! They are very understanding and they laugh with me when I make silly mistakes. They love me for my spontenaeity and for my talents and for me!!!!
They understand my quirkiness and they are the greatest!!!
I think anyone can be a friend like that to someone with ADD.
My advice: Don't be offended with they blurt things out. Don't be embarrassed by the funny things they do - look at those times as fun times you can talk about and remember. Enjoy your friend when you have the time. Your ADD friend will be into a million different idea things going on. They will jump and you might have a hard time catching up. But don't worry, they will always consider you a good friend if you stick around.
Good luck.
You all gave me some good things to think about, THANK YOU very much!!! I know that it will take some time to filter into my brain. I hope my friend gives me a chance, I am sure I will mess up some times too.My friends know not to plan anything in advance with me ( well that's changing but that hasnt caught on to them yet.)
Usually it's spur of the moment, " hey watcha doin? Lets drop everything and go bowling! woohoo.. love to drop it all and just Go go go!!
I usually don't call them, they call me... then I might talk to them for an hour or two..
BTW, I am also primarily inattentive type..( diagnosed combined but the hyper part doesnt really affect my life.) I care deeply for my friends and believe it or not, when there is a problem i'm actually a good listener ( strange for an inattentive -- I can focus when someone is hurt or upset , but not in normal conversation.)
This is the way I am, but we are all individuals, your friend may have some of the same traits but dont get stuck thinking that the ADD is all that defines her -- get to know HER -- look beyond the ADD..
Also watch her eyes when you are taliking with her, when they glaze over, move something around or do something a little different, it will help her refocus her attention.. she doesnt have to know that's what you are doing, LOL.
Sherry
Be friendly but let her initiate(SP??) -If she avoids you your'e pushing. I also am suspicious and wonder what people want from me. If you come on too strong she'll think your a freak. Oh and like kibbles said don't react to her as though she has ADD- we all do have different symptoms, my boss when she learned of my diagnosis started treating me like I had a thousand ADD symptoms that I DON'T have--It really pissed me off!
Just another thought. Sometimes I don't like to talk about parts of my life with new friends because there are parts that are kind of embarassing. Of course, that might not be her situation at all ...
It's cool when I meet a new friend who learns about one of these things and then really seems ok with it. It makes the friendship grow stronger.