just diagnosed w? ADD i am so scared | ADHD Information

I have been on ton of medications and different doses for 10 years, FOR DEPRESSION. I got sick of being on drugs, told myself i didnt need them that i just needed to use my brain more, i could never understand why i coudlnt come up with the solutions my husband did ( we have 2 ADHD kids) and we argued constantly, over simple things, and once he would explain to me like you would a child what his thoguth process was, i was so sad becasue i figured i was just stupid, why didnt i think of that? such a simple easy answer, and such a good reason for that conclusion, yet from insignificant things to extreme important things i coudlnt do it. why "couldnt" i think of that. my inability to perform as a wife and mother and follow threw and come up with solutions and GET ORGANIZED ETC. has all but ruined my marriage, anyway, i went to the doc last week, a new doc, got off the demon drug Paxxil, still am experiencing the side affects of that, he said i was depressed but i was depressed due to an underlying reason.... ADD, so i am on Adderall, 20 mg in the morning and if i feel i am "coming down" and need another to take one more at noon, started this fridayi cant tell for sure if it is workign due to the lovely side affects of coming off Paxil, but, please, after going on line and reading, i still want to "talk" to someone who has what i have, because i am so afraid i am just a screw up and that this medicine wont make me better. my symptoms are these, for YEARS i definately dont have hyperness, the oppisite, i cant get organized, at all, i make to do lists so i wont forget, i will sit and write a budget out for the next year and a half over and over and over, i cant multi task, i am in patient, my thougth process isnt "normal" i take the easy way out, i cant c ome up with solutions, and i coudl go on and on, do you guys or did you have these things?? i didnt get good grades, and i was in a "special" math class, but i think i wasnt "hyper" as a child, and i cant ask anyone as there is no one left to ask, anyway if you are bored and want to email me i woudl appreciate it, i am really sad right now because i just dont know if a drug can help me, anyway, thanks for reading, tell me being that you guys some of you at least may be able to tell me your symptoms, real life symptomes not just some "blanket" answer, i am so afriad my doc may not be right simply becasue all these other docs i have had mis diasgnosed me for years , gave me anti depressants i didnt need, hell i got an open ende p[rescription for an anti depressant my FAXING my doc and told him i was PMS"ing really bad, so he FAXED me a note saying i was depressed , so i was niave and thougth ok i am depressed and took so much junk, anyway, thanks, chris email me if you want chris r38693.2861342593

There is no reason to be scared of the diagnosis. This isn't something which has suddenly come upon you that you have to learn to deal with. You have had it all your life and now that you know what is actually causing you to have these problems, you can deal with it and hopefully gain more control over your life.

There are so many of us who were treated for depression and anxiety for years and always wondered why, if the meds worked at all, they didn't seem to work as well for us as they did for others. You would be amazed at the nightmare diagnosis' some of us have had to deal with because our doctors couldn't or wouldn't recognize ADHD in an adult.

By the way, it sounds like you have ADHD-inattentive rather than ADHD. It is ADD without the hyper (H).

Don't be scared. Celebrate! YOU ARE NOT A SCREW UP! YOU HAVE ADHD! You have a chance at a new beginning and now that you are aware, you can come here where you are "normal" and fit right in.

Welcome!

Thanks,

i just hope you and the doc are right. I dont want to take any more drugs i dont "need" to. But if it will work, then i will. like right now, i have so many things going on at once in my head, its like i want it to be able to take a deep breath and cant, as weird as this may sound,i really pray i do have ADD, becasue if i dont then what? ANyway, just having a downer right now and my husband even tho i didnt expect warmth and compassion right now, i expected him to be excited i found an answer that may be what i have been looking for for years, but he isnt very optimistic, i think he thinks i am just , dumb, sometimes i feel lliek my brain is numb and someone coudl tell me something and then if they asked what they just said, i coudlnt tell them, so anyway, thanks for listening

chris

Again, thanks to all of you, its so i dunno how to put it , for years i thought i was depressed as i said, and looked info on line etc. and it was so, non-specific, well, who doesnt have a bad day? who doesnt feel tierd all the time? my god, i have 3 kids and a husband and i run a daycare, i am going to be tierd,.. depressed, ADD or not, but everything was so vauge, but being diagnosed with this, there absolute specific things, like Capt. Trips said about non trusting your own intuition, i have said that for years, and years, and so many other things, imbetween posting here and going to different info sites, i found even more specific things, so specific that the exact words that were used were things used in my thoughts, anyway keep on writin if ya want becasu every one of these posts has helped me feel more confident in my doctors diagnosis and even cried a little becasue i was so happy, oh, being that you are all so helpful, how about this , since i am 34, and i have lived a certain way and handled things a certain way, i expect even if Adderall is the drug i need, is it going to be difficult to become different, i mean, being that it takes such an effort for me to do think right and get answers etc. etc. now that i am on a medication, what have you experienced?? did things start to come naturally to you that never had befor, things you always wondered "why in the hell coudlnt i have dont that or figured that out etc" let me know

Thanks guys, chris

Yea Chris I can relate!! I think many here will also.
Welcome to the club. I’m life long dx, 3yrs treatment.
This site has helped me see connections in my life situations and my ADD symptoms.
I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I am narrowing down the number of questions.
That’s helped me get a better picture of what I need to do.
Getting started on a helpful medication has been the biggest positive impact so far.
It took 12-18 month and 4 tries before I found one that provides me with some relief. Like you I’m on Adderall. I take it 3 times a day, for about a year now.
Unfortunately it’s not a cure-all for me.
I’m working on the connection between my behavior and emotional disposition.
That has to be examined and modified, if I expect any life altering improvements.
I have to make sure the things I do (or don’t do) are acceptable to me, “for every action there’s a re-action.”
For example:
The medication makes me more reliable in paying bills on time, punctuality, & focus.
I like to think of them as victories.
Victories provide the emotional reward I’m striving for; pride, confidence, self-esteem.
The problem is I’m still failing in organization.
The clutter is so distracting.
I still get too many things going at one time. So I fail to complete some tasks.
It’s obvious that these two are directly related, one perpetuates the other.
It’s so ADD….what a pain!!
It seems overwhelming when I think of conquering it all at once.

That’s why I use “Victories & Failures” to describe each challenge.
I have a scoreboard to keep the goal of winning in mind.
If I can maintain a winning record it has a positive impact on my motivation.
Success breeds Success right.

In the relationship area I’m not sure I know what works.

ADD is a condition the whole family has.
Education, commitment, & sensitivity are what I think should work.
What I do know is I have to be true to myself no matter what anyone else says.
I also find that I am most successful when I follow my intuition.
I can’t tell you how many times I have been burned & upset with myself for going against my intuitions!!!

I’m still trying to find a victory in “The Relationship League.”
My record is 0&1 so far.

In Relationship Game 2
It’s the top of the 9th and
I’m down 3 runs.
But I’ve got runners in scoring position.
It ain’t over till its over!!
I’ll be here working on my game just like everybody else.
I hope my rhetoric isn’t to confusing.
Cut yourself and your Husband some slack nothing happens over night.

Good luck.

Honey I'm the inattentive type too.

For years and years I've felt like one huge screw-up. I couldn't keep a job, couldn't follow through with anything, I procrastinated on everything, I still can't organize to save my life. I went to the psych about 4-5 months ago after doing a lot of reading about adult ADD. I was starting a new career in a new field and I can't screw this one up too. He agreed with me that I probably do have ADD and prescribed Strattera.

Let me tell you, it has been wonderful. It is like coming out of a thick fog. My head is clearer, I can follow through on some projects, on others I still procrastinate on. I can tend to the mundane crap that everyone has to tend to.

My husband still doesn't understand the whole ADD thing even though I've explained it to him over and over that it isn't my fault that I'm this way. I'm not doing it on purpose. He was skeptical when I started the meds. But he agrees that I'm so much better than I was. Hell, I'm even attending to some of his tax stuff now. That is huge! I got thanksgiving dinner on the table 10 minutes ahead of when I said I would. Really huge!

Depression and ADD go hand in hand many times. Especially if you've been beating yourself up. Your self-esteem will come back after you see yourself improving (and you will). In the meantime know that it isn't your fault that you can't control your brain. People with ADD/ADHD have a smaller basal ganglia (the part of the brain that surrounds the thalmus and is responsible for brain organization, regulating attention and blocking out extraneous stimuli). Because it isn't an visable disability the uneducated out there assume it's a lack of self-control, bad parenting, or worse yet lack of intelligence.

I would recommend keeping a daily journal of how you're feeling and functioning as the Paxil wears off and the Adderall kicks in. It will help you see where you've been and how much progress you've made.

Good luck. We're here for you and believe it or not, we really do understand cause we have all been there.

BTW, I'm a Chris too, actually a Christy but pretty doggone close.

ADD&Proud38693.454537037

Thanks for the advice, you know what is just another sign this may be it for me, that i really may have ADD, is when i read barbs and sasses' reply to me, (by the way thank you it is so nice to hear support) is i had forgotten that the doc mentioned the inattentive thing to me becasue i said " i am not hyper, believe me i wish i were" so any way this is going to be a great place for me to get info and support, i have NO family, i am a housewife and day care provider, i have NO outsidelife, (friends etc) i have always been content with just having my kids and husband, but since he and i are having serious issues, i have no where to go for support no where until now,...

by the way sorry for the misspelling etc. it is 8 degrees here and i am in the basement office typing and my hands are numb!!~!

i am going to get around the house here and then come back to check on info for the inattentive thing, if ya'll have any good informatiuon sites let me know

chris

Here is a list of the symptoms of ADD

SYMPTOMS OF INATTENTION
a. often ignores details; makes careless mistakes
b. often has trouble sustaining attention in work or play
c. often does not seem to listen when directly addressed
d. often does not follow through on instructions; fails to finish
e. often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
f. often avoids activities that require a sustained mental effort
g. often loses things he needs
h. often gets distracted by extraneous noise
i. is often forgetful in daily activities
[QUOTE=chris r]

Thanks,

chris

[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I wanted my husband to be as excited as I was about this diagnosis, too. He has been sort of cautiously supportive, though, and I do appreciate that much from him now that I think about it.

Welcome Chris. Please do a lot of reading and ask questions when you don't understand what someone is talking about.

Check out all your options. Should you decide the medications just don't work for you there is a topic called Alternative & Complementary Medicine.

Most of all don't give up, there is hope for you.

Hi chris r,

I was also diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder, starting in high school. I don't think they would have even considered looking at ADD then because I was a very quiet, shy person. Definitely not "hyper" and did not get in trouble at all. I was just very forgetful. I was one of those who was smart but did not make good grades because the workload was just overwhelming for me, so I ended up thinking I was just lazy. Antidepressants did absolutely nothing for me.

I also make lists so I won't forget, I am very inpatient, I can only do one thing at a time or I become overwhelmed, I have racing thoughts that I can't seem to shut off, had problems sleeping since childhood...there are more things but right now I can't remember . This mental "fogginess" can be a side effect of depression/anxiety and lack of sleep, so that was what I was treated for but it never seemed quite right.

I did see a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, and learned breathing techniques and visualization which I found pretty helpful. She mentioned that I might have ADD but I thought "I'm not hyper" and I really didn't know what it was. I ended up doing some research and found ADD or ADHD-Inattentive type, which you might want to look into online. It seems to be more of a problem with inattention and forgetfulness rather than hyperactivity. Anyway, eventually my MD started me on Adderall (this was just last week), but I have found it very helpful already. I just feel very, very strongly that this is what I have and not depression. My MD said she finds Adderall to be very effective in adults, but I think if it doesn't help you, you may be able to try other meds until the right one clicks. Also, I think ADD can cause depression because life gets so hard and overwhelming. But you're NOT a screw-up!!!! You're doing the best you can. It takes two to make a marriage go, and it's not all your fault. I'm so, so sorry that you are going through all this. I think you came to the right place, I have a feeling a lot of the nice people here will respond to you with good advice, encouragement, and words of wisdom. Please please stop being so hard on yourself.

Adderal helps you focus on certian things I guess the main difference is I used to cut a little wider path than I do now. I get more done in certian areas but less in others. It will not change you or make it go away just help you manage it. The biggest thing is learning to celebrate the good fortune to have ADD or ADHD. I now know I dont' have to feel bad that I'm not like them and I'm lucky to be me!!!