I read you post about your child's behavior. I think this might help you out. It helps us with keeping consistency with our son. He never told me he hated me or any thing like that. I use it. It works. Most of the time I don't have to tell my son (8 w/ adhd), more than once to do something. He is very well behaved and respectful. You might try it. As he masters on skill on the "in side", it moves off the list for rewarding. And I use it for home work (he doesn't complain when he is told to do it), and any thing else. He has chores that he does and earns some marbles. Check it out. It might help.
I started this and it is a hands on discipline program that most ADHD kids will respond to. ADHD kids need to participate in their discipline. They do well if they are able to have a hands on. If they can see it, they will respond to it. This is what I do. I keep a log, but he is the one to add marbles and take them away.
Marble System: