There comes a time when a parent must accept that their child is in need of some help. It took me a long time to admit that my son may be a.d.h.d. and in the next couple of months I will be deciding whether or not he will be taking meds... This is going to be a trying decision, however, when I think of it. If my son was to be diabetic... would I refuse treatment? No way.. So thinking it in those terms, I am more able to see that my son will be happier with his meds, and in turn, get a chance to live a quasi 'normal' life with his family and peers..
Today has been a very frustrating day. My son constantly breaks my things, demands his food and drink, hits his sister impulsively... my favorite sun glasses are now in the garbage... arrrrrrrg!!! Can't anything be mine anymore???
Anyhow.. I am new here too..and I hope that I can help others, and receive some advice in return. I really need friends who understand right now..
Blessings
Blossom
My friends have a son with ADHD - to the extreme. I used to feel sorry for them and provided daycare/transportation sometimes when he was kicked off the school bus or banned from daycare for behavior. I've tried to be understanding. They don't believe in meds and I can respect that. But it's becoming extremely obvious they need to do SOMETHING - this kid is way out of control. I had thought he might outgrow some of the problems as he matured, maybe it's more than just ADHD. It's to the point where I don't think I can even maintain a friendship with them. Whenever we get together I get stressed over the mayhem, disrespect and yelling that goes on whenever I see them. We can't even have a phone conversation without the boy constantly interrupting. What's most disturbing is the way the boy lashes out at younger children who "annoy" him. He regularly gets into physical fights with his younger brother and I recently found out he calls my daughter obscene names when out of earshot of his parents. They are very defensive though. They think the other kids should just know that they can't annoy their son, knowing that he is the way he is. They allow some of this controlling behavior on his part, like the time we were all late to a social function because they just couldn't get him to leave the video game until he was finished. So what would be a tactful suggestion to these people? Any behavior tips, books? I'm going to end up cutting ties with these people, but I feel badly about this boy left to go on the same way he has - he has no friends, and I fear what he may grow up to be if no one intervenes.
Maybe you could put a different slant on things for them. They are obviously against meds - because in their minds they believe that would be "bad" for their son. Try to explain to them that it could also be perceived as child abuse to medicate him to give him the best opportunities in life. In the US is there any laws that would state a parent is neglectful if they fail to medicate their violent child. Or perhaps remind them that if their son injures any other child, that childs parents may sue them for damages. Get tough with your friend. That is my opinion.Hi. I am the person you just described in your post. My 5 year old makes life extremely difficult. I cry everyday, have lost losts of friends and am extremely depressed, not to mention worried about him. Yes, you need to protect your family..that is you job. But, I owuld ask you to also be understanding..It is hell to live with this and feel this way. Count your blessing that you can leave it after a couple of hours..Hi. I would have to agree with aschu. You are describing our family as well. All I can say is be careful in the way you approach your friend. They are blessed to even have friends and I am sure they probably already receive enough negative input from others around them (doctors, teachers and so on). I know we do!The decision to uses meds should rest soley with the parents and no one has the right to decide for them. I'm not against meds, I just think it's a risk versus benefits decision only for the parent to make.
I'm sick of hearing the diabetes comparison because it doesn't hold water and I'll tell you why. For starters there are 2 types of diabetes. The one that you get in old age whereby the pancreas works a little bit is initially NOT treated with medicine it is treated with DIET!! That's because you don't want to give insulin because you want to encourage the pancreas to try and work on it's own so you don't become insulin dependent. Risk versus beneifts as with all meds it's preferable to get the pancreas to regain some function. My grandfather controlled his diabetes with diet alone and never became insulin dependent.
The second type is juvenile diabetes where the pancreas doesn't function at all and of course like all meds you weigh the risk vs benefits and obsiously the risk is death so of course you go on insulin. However, there is still a huge difference between the use of insulin and ritalin. The pancreas makes insulin and you are replacing the exact hormone that your pancreas doesn't make. However, the body doesn't make ritalin or amphetamines so you are not replacing anything your body makes. You are administering a drug that helps ease the symptoms of ADHD in a way that is poorly understood and causes sometimes causes unwanted side effects.
As for the child you describe, I quite sure the parents are aware of his behavior and the lack of friends. They will weigh the effect of this versus medicine and they may at one point choose to try meds but you can't impose your values on them. I know for myself, because my son is ADHD I really prefer if he has friends who are not ADHD because my house can only stand so much destruction. So I certainly can understand if you don't want to deal with the kid then don't.
KH
Hummous38256.7884722222Tomorrow is a big day. I have a meeting with his educator, his kindergarten teacher, and the school psychologist. We have just embarked on the assessment wagon, and I am thinking that they are probably going to suggest meds for my son.
Its been a tough decision, furthermore, I have been racking my brain and debating with myself whether or not my son needs the medication. Yet, my son's impulsiveness is getting worse, and yes... diabetes and ADHD are two different things (I can see that I compared apples and oranges here)... I do not want to see my son hurt due to the fact that his impulses are getting worse. His security, and the security of others are at stake.
It is difficult because I want my son to be happy and enjoy his life. If medication for a short period will assist him in diminishing his meltdowns and impulses...then I am willing to try for the time being.
I have to be open minded for the sake of my son, and our family's dynamic.