help please | ADHD Information

u rule ash
-keep cool my babies



love,
tara

Ashley,

I know its hard. I wish I knew what to say or how to help you cope better. You are 15 now so it will only be a few years and you will be on your own. It may seem like forever but it isn't really.

Does your family get any kind of counseling? All of you should, but maybe you could ask your parents if you could go for a while just to learn how to deal and to help your brother even if no one else will.

When you see him doing nice things and behaving normally, you could tell him how great you think he is doing, how well you think he handled a tough situation, etc. A lot of times that works to encourage the good behavior.

Maybe when he is really out of control you could just look at him and tell him you love him. It may be hard but that may be what he needs to hear at that time. Its hard to have ADHD. You do a lot of things you don't like doing and usually don't like yourself much and wonder how anyone could love you. After you tell him that, if he doesn't calm down just walk away and leave him alone. He can't fight with you if you aren't there.

Feel free to PM me here if you need to vent or want to talk.

  Hang in there!  Barb

hello my name is ashley. im 15 years old and my brother has a severe case of adhd. life sometimes can be so wonderful and my family is happy but that is at such rare occassions. i love my brother so much but living with him i get so frustrated, mad, and sad all at the same time. he does such outrageous things, has temper tantrums, curses, is so immature, cant concentrate all the normal symptoms of adhd. this is all typical in a day. sometimes he is so great with his medication and it really works but other times he just tears my family apart. my dad works a lot and i love him more than life itself. all he does is try to make this family happy and have everything we need. he gets so sad when my brother and i fight and it makes him feel like a failure. my mom is so strong but my brother beats her emotional each and every battle. she is sad and my brother only puts more and more pressure and stress on her. so as you can see it effects my family as well. i guess im writing today because i want help. i need someone to talk to. i need some support from someone who maybe knows what im going through. none of my friends go through this so they have no idea whats its like to live my life. i always try to act happy but inside im so sad because all i want is for my family to be normal and happy and by my brother having adhd i feel like its tearing us apart.but i love him so much and all i want is for him to be happy and know we all love him and i dont to know how to deal with all of this because i dont know how to deal. i get overly angry and obuse him with words. and i know im wrong. i just dont know any other way. so im sorry if im rambling but i need some help and advice i hope someone responds. please feel free to email me at devilishqt007@aol.com. and if you read this thanks for listening. -ashley

Hello Ahsley...I also have a server case of ADHD...Man I will say life ahs not been all that good but hey u know wat I have done pretty well but then now I have an 8 yr old bro who is bi-polar as well as ADHD now life is not really all that fun when I go to vist wit my mom...I live in foster care since I was 7 yrs old....but I hope I can be some kind of help to you...

ur pal Neldy

Hang in there aright?

Hi Ashley

You have taken a great step in asking for some support and help. My suggestion would be to learn all you can about ADHD, not only will it help you understand your brother, you will be armed with knowledge to help your mum and dad. You can learn so much on the internet and there are so many sites relating to ADHD.

I have 2 daughters myself one 15 and one 13, at times (often) they find him soo frustrating and annoying. Just tonight my 13 year old told us how much she hates him (I know she really doesn't), I try to educate my daughters about ADHD, my older one understands more as she had ADD, the 13 year old doesn't care doesn't want to know or understand, she calls him horrible names and I am sure like you she would just like him to be "normal"whatever that is?. I try hard to explain to her that ignorance causes wars, when we don't learn or put ourselves in others shoes and look at their map of the world, we only see things in black and white.

I really understand how hard this is for you and appreciate that you still feel such love for you brother (believe me that means alot to him)

I have an idea, I will talk to my daughters and see if they would like to chat with you. My 13 year old is often on MSN chatting and I am sure she would love to vent with someone, if she does I will get her to email you Okay

Keep your chin up

Shelly

i really apprecaite all of your support everyone thank you.

i would apprecaite if anyone could email me or talk to me and please feel free to always talk to me!

life is alright. my parents might be getting a divorce which is not helping the situation in my family so i am hoping maybe this can bring my brother and i closer together? i really hope so because we are the only one each other has to turn to right now. he still does all thsoe annoying things and god does he drive me insane. but i think this whole problem with my parents is starting to help mature him a bit and hes becoming a lot more emotional. im hoping for the best =]

thank you for taking the time to reply i apprecaite more than you will ever know

it feels good to know someone listens

Hey whats ^. my name is shaun. i just registered i am 13years old and i
need someone to talk to. I just got home today. and my mom and dad
were talking to my teacher. and they were talking bout my homework and
grades. now there saying i am grounded for a week. so now no one is
talkin to me exept my bro but he is a couch potato. so please i need some
advice
Surfer boy, point out to your family that they are ignoring you and it hurts you.  You should tell them you did not intend to hurt them, but you feel they are trying to hurt you by ignoring you, and what type of example is that.Ashley - How are things going now?  You described my family exactly so I will tell you that you are not alone.  I have a 15 year old daughter, also named Ashley.  My son is 13 and suffers from ADHD as well as some other problems.  She suffered months of abuse, much of which I did not know about for a long time.  I have her in individual counseling now as well as family counseling for all of us.  That doesn't solve every problem, but it helps to vent to someone outside of our family.  Let me know if you check back here, I would love to give her your email address so that she has someone her own age to talk with.  Sometimes you just need someone your own age that understands.

hey its ashley. things are going okay my family has been going through many ups and downs during the past couple of months but im hoping the holidays can bring us all together =] my brother has been somewhat maturing hes turning 13 next week.

i would love to talk to your daughter terry so if you would like to give me her email thatd be great. i understand talking to someone who understands is very effective. thanks for caring