Can certian environments, or settings trigger an ADHD attacK ( for lack of word )

My 8 year old son, seems to be fine at home, shopping with me, visiting friends and family,etc. However the kid they describe in school doesnt seem like someone I know. Is it because they ( the school ) can only disipline him but so far?

This is going to sound crazy... but do ADHD kids feel any remorse at the bad behavoir?

I am sorry, perhaps I didnt elaborate. Yes you are right about the not being able to stay on track if given a task. I have to constantly tell him over and over, because not everything I say doesnt register, and a definate on the mind wondering off. I thought that was how most kids are. Perhaps I am wrong. but that is where it confuses me, because in shcool his behaviour is horrible, with the constant talking and pushing and cutting the line, because he has to be first. but his school work is so so. At home he does much better.

I now wonder if Dr. Jekel and Mr. Hyde had ADHD.Lol.

It sounds like you have clearly defined rules and expectations that he is very familiar with. School is regulated but there is still a lot going on and a lot of change, switching subjects, etc frequently. That may be why they see it more than you do.

Stress almost always makes me worse and I have noticed the same with my son.

I thank my lucky stars everyday, that I joined this message board. It is such a great support for me. I only wish I had done it sooner. It helps me to grow and learn everyday. Just understanding that it takes my son all his concentration( which I now understand it is not easy ) Makes all the difference in the world. Instead of saying to him why cant you just try harder, I wil focus on the strenght that he is probably giving it his all. In school, I dont know what to say.

I also do understand that he should be commended on good behavior and finishing tasks in shcool, however more often then not, that is the case. What do I do to build up his esteem, when he even knows he did not do well that day?

Can certian environments, or settings trigger an ADHD attacK ( for lack of word )

My 8 year old son, seems to be fine at home, shopping with me, visiting friends and family,etc. However the kid they describe in school doesnt seem like someone I know. Is it because they ( the school ) can only disipline him but so far?

This is going to sound crazy... but do ADHD kids feel any remorse at the bad behavoir?[/QUOTE]

Sorry I didn't read the other reply posts so forgive me if I'm repeating myself.  I think the reason why your son is having more difficulties at school rather than anywhere else because there's a higher expectation at school - more demands. Always look at the message behind the behaviour. If he's having a hard time there, I'm guessing school work has been hard for him. If he's doing well academically, maybe it's a sensory thing.

Have you had him evaluated for ADHD?  I think as a mother we sometimes ignore what we don’t want to see.  I know I did for almost 6 years. My daughter was always a handful but for years I blamed myself.  I wasn’t strict enough or it was the environment we lived in ect.  I am new to all this myself.  My daughter who 7yr was dx with ADHD in October this year. I was very confused at first. I think a lot time’s we stereo time people with ADHD.  I always thought kids with ADHD did badly in school, and my daughter is very bright she has no problems with school work and she is very creative. So there was no way she could have ADHD. 

All the signs were there but it took two things for me to realize something was wrong.  One being my daughter telling me she was different.  The last few months when she would get in trouble I would say why did you do that or something like that and she would tell me she can’t help it that she is not like other kids or she would say I am not a normal kid. That made me realize something more was going on.  The second thing was when she got an F on her spelling test. This was not normal for her. I asked what happened at first she just said she didn’t fill right. Later that day I found out she got in trouble in class a few minutes before the test. This making it hard for her to concentrate on anything (she was still crying she is over sensitive).

Once we had her dx she has been alot happier now that she knows why she is not like other kids. Your not alone good luck.

Hope for the best.

Prepare for the worst.

blueyedmom98
My son was diagnosed with ADHD 3yrs ago. I hope I dont sound as if I am in denial, but I do also understand that is also overdiagnosed.

But it is so funny that your daughter says the same thing as my 8yr old son. He told me a few weeks ago that he feels different. I tried to get him to elaborate, and he could only say, that he felt small. I was alittle fustrated that he could not give me more info. He too also says that he is not like the other kids. Him knowing that he has adhd, I wonder if he uses that as excuse to get away with stuff. Is your daughter on meds?

My son is not on meds at this time, I am going throught the process if having him re-evaluated so that he can get the meds, and have special services in school.If If I was skeptical about giving him meds before, I take it back. He recently had this City wide test (New York) and I was so concerned that he would not focus or do well, that I gave him two of his meds that I had saved from when he was taking meds and his teacher said that he had a fabulous day and could not believe what had gotten into him. Even his handwriting improved that day. I found that interesting. So now I am a firm believer that he does need the meds more than I thought.

Triche

Yes my daughter has been on 10mg. of Stratterra for about a month.  We are still trying to find the right med.  She was on Adderall first but after a month on it she got violent. 

I do worry about my daughter being one of the overdiagnosed.  I think she might be something other then ADHD or have other thing along with ADHD. I am trying to find a neurophysiatrist to re-evaluate her.  I am having a hard time finding one here were we live. 

I can not tell a diffrence yet.  I think the dc might need to up the dose.  Only side effects is appetite and she is waking up in the middle of the night agian.  She is so pick already the meds just make it worse.

Too bad this isn't a more active discussion board. My 4 year old ADHD son will will "melt down" in the following situations:

1. Big transitions, such as leaving a place he was having fun.

2. Too much sugar (i.e. as little as two juice boxes, or 5 cookies, or two poptarts)

3. If he is around a child he does not like or who bullies him.

4. He also has problems at Wal-mart and Home Depot, for some reason.

5. His tendency to have a problem increases with the amount of TV he watches.

6. Problems increase dramatically with loud uncontrolled noise (pre-school), swimming pool, PA announcements and when things are in general chaos.

7. Also when Daddy is out of town on business (he is the stronger discipline, but I am learning).

8. He has less problems if he has had lots of time with play doh, clay, paint, crayons and other sensory input. If the discipline has been firm and consistent, and he has lots of praise, love and attention, things are better.

He is not on meds, takes Omega-3/E/multi vits with iron, and his problems are related to climbing, causing disruption, being uncontrollable when bored or dis-interested, behaves in an unsafe manner, has been dis-enrolled from two pre-schools for behavior, stays on task well for things he likes, and if he is not...well, I'm sure most of you know what that looks like...

Flyboy 123

Wow, Here I thought my son was trouble. I feel your pain. However the latter part of your message sounds like my son in the respect that he stays on tasks for stuff he likes and disinterested in anything else. Also with the disruption in school, which I am told he cannot help. But here is what gets me. His behavoir right before the holidays was less than acceptable. He did try with modification and daily to weekly incentives ( toys, movies, games etc ) If he did well daily and weekly. Then like I said a week before Christmas, he lost it. So I took all his Christmas toys away. He got nothing (from me anyway) I think It hurt me more than him. I also made it clear he has to try harder and if he did he would them back one at a time, if he did well for a week. We are on week two. Last week, he made a total turn around with behavoir and home/school work. 4 out of 5days. I gave hime a small toy. I promised him this week if he got 5 out of 5 he would earn something back. So far so good. Lets see if he makes it to Friday.

I keep inforcing how pround of him I am and that he can do it. He too is proud of himself. Since they say his behavoir is impulsive and cannot be helped by him, I wondering if he's either trying extremely hard or if he indeed has ADHD.

Completely unrelated I posted this a few days ago, and you may find this NewsWeek article interesting: http://g.msn.com/0MN2ET7/2?http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10965 522/site/newsweek/from/ET/&&CM=EmailThis&CE=1

I keep inforcing how pround of him I am and that he can do it. He too is proud of himself. Since they say his behavoir is impulsive and cannot be helped by him, I wondering if he's either trying extremely hard or if he indeed has ADHD.

[/QUOTE]

I have ADHD, and this a common misunderstanding. 

It isn't that we can't control our impulses or behavior.  If the incentive or punishment is strong enough, we can do just about anything for a short time.  The trouble is, it is not a lasting change.  It is kind of hard to describe, bear with me.

Imagine that someone passed a law requiring everyone to walk backwards everwhere they went.  Walk to your car backwards, walk backwards through the grocery store... and so on.  People would run into each other all the time, and it would be really frustrating.  You would probably spend a great deal of  time and energy trying to remember to walk backwards, and a lot more time and energy thinking how dumb this stupid law is.  In an emergency you would run normally even though it was against the law.  Eventually, you would get fed up and walk normally unless there was a police car in sight.  Or you might get so frustrated that you refused to leave your house if it means you have to stumble around trying to walk backwards for 30 minutes in order to get somewhere.

For those of us with ADHD,  things like standing in line, sitting still in a desk, paying attention to school work, waiting our turn-- all feel like we are trying to walk backwards.  We can do it, but it is frustrating, time consuming and painful.  Eventually, we slip back into our "normal ADHD" selves or we get fed up and stop trying. 

I managed to act fairly normally most of the time, despite severe ADHD.  I also became a depressed, anxiety ridden, oversensitive mess in the process.  You are the mom, trust your instincts -- I just hope something in this might ring a bell for you.

Best wishes and good luck!

"I have ADHD, and this a common misunderstanding. 

For those of us with ADHD,  things like standing in line, sitting still in a desk, paying attention to school work, waiting our turn-- all feel like we are trying to walk backwards.  We can do it, but it is frustrating, time consuming and painful.  Eventually, we slip back into our "normal ADHD" selves or we get fed up and stop trying. " Quote from Reisha

Hi there, I probably messed up the quoting function, but appreciate the comments from Reisha. Thank you for sharing your experiences and inward view. It is very helpful and appreciated.

Indeed, standard discipline techniques are ineffective with Brett (Age 4, no meds). We can affect his behavior by taking away something important to him. Generally TV or current favorate toy are most effective.

My greatest concern is his unsafe behavior. He will run through a parking lot, jump/climb at great heights, jump into deep water, with no understanding of fear and total disregard to my verbal warnings or swats on the backside.

Any thoughts on how to get through to him before we end up at the hospital??

Every child is different, and so is every parent but a couple of suggestions from my own experiences in a family with more ADDers than not.

My parents always talked to me in the car or on the sidewalk immediately before the went anywhere or did anything.  "What is the rule about parking lots/crossing the street?" I say "Always hold dad's hand when we are around cars, so I don't get in trouble." or "Come here, look at me.  Do you see the swimming pool?  See the steps right here?  Stay by these steps and don't go past the number 4 on the side over there, that is the rule.  What is the rule?"  I say, "The rule is that I have to stay by the steps and not go past the number 4."  (making sure I heard the rule and could repeat it)

If I even started to forget the rule (started playing really close to the number 4 on the side of the pool) we had the same discussion again, before I had a chance to get in trouble.  Dangerous was not a concept I really understood until I was about 8 years old.  Getting in trouble I understood.  And my parents tried to give me plenty of help remembering the rules.  They also never spanked me for anything other than dangerous behavior.  They used other discipline for smart mouth or whatnot.

My uncle had a simple rule for his kids.  "Hang on to my belt loop and don't let go while we are in the store or crossing the street.  Don't ever let go of the belt loop."  As soon as the child's hand left his belt loop, he would immediately (with that parent sixth sense) catch that hand and put it back on his belt loop without even interrupting a conversation sometimes.

All of the rules were explained before hand, and at any time they appeared to be "wearing off" but before we actually broke the rules.  The consequences were clear and inspired a healthy fear of yelling and spanking. 

flyboy and Reisa, I thank you for your frankness. The more you write to me explaining in laymens terms what its like the more I understand. The more tolorant and understanding I become.

Ambersmom, what is it that you didnt like about the side effects of your nephew taking meds?

Thank goodness for this board.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raisa, wow you just back flash backs. Mom always kept reiterating things to me over and over. Then I knew nothing about ADHD being hereditary, I just assumed I was hard headed and she new my instincts. Understanding what I do now, I feel that I may have had the slightest form of ADHD. I see alot of my son in me, but more. If that makes sense.

At what age did your grampa let you walk on your own without holding the belt? I think I might try that with my son. I explain the rules to him before we go to a department store, and say stay with me. 10 minutes later he is in the area but not with me. I keep saying it, and finally I blow up and threaten him,amd he stops, but i hate even getting to that point. I gotta give him credit for his creative smarts. I am not easy to pull the wool over the eyes with, but, He knows exactly when I am engrossed with something to make his getway,

May I inquire how old are the kids now, and how are they doing?

I just read back your response to my previous posting. I apologize for not getting it write with the members you spoke of. Maybe I still have some ADHD left in me. :) LOL.

Triche, hi

i think he was on 3 or 4 differnt ones, when he first started he was "zombie like" bad mood swings, and one of the meds he was so aggressive he took a stick and hit my son with it cause he wasnt getting his way it got really bad at times and scared my sis bad. he is not takeing anything now. I guess shes just dealing with it all.But hes not haveing those side effects anymore.

May I inquire how old are the kids now, and how are they doing?

[/QUOTE]

We are all grown now and doing well for the most part.  We have a lot of the issues discussed on the adult boards, of course.  I take meds now and have a much better outlook these days, Yay!  My cousins don't, but both have found jobs or spouses that they love.  So far, nobody has found both at the same time - but we are all still working on it.

Well I guess my only sense of console is that it gets better as time goes by, and that most people live productive lives. Its funny I just left my sons school to meet with the school pshycologist to discuss his academic evaluation. She said, ( thank god ) that my sons behavior is not that he is violent or does any bullying.His problem ( from the testing ) is he is impulsive, He doenst even take the time to do things he assumes are difficult. He just supposedly runs right through it. give him a few sentences he is right on the money. Give him one big paragraph, he'll answer without thought. In fact may not have even taken the time to read it. Any who, she feels he is very bright and does not need special ed. Thank god! Tomorrow we go to the clinic where he was first diagnosed and get the ball rolling to get him back on meds, just so that he can focus and pass this very important standardized state wide test.

Triche