I've been told before that someone wished they had never met me - I've also been fired (which I guess is the same thing in a professional arena). The truth is that I have been really annoying at times.
I've gotten depressed. I've gotten angry. Etc.
The treatment (which for me also included counseling) has helped a lot. I have been fortunate in that some stimulants don't cause bad side effect for me. However, even on days when I don't take the stimulants - the counseling and coping mechanisms have helped.
I'll tell you a couple of coping mechanisms that have helped me with the related depression and anger. First, I had to realize that my add problems are just one category of challenge in life - I also have others, and everyone I meet has some kind of chronic challenge.
Also, focusing on the process helps. OK - there's nothing I can do about having add - some things are not fair - they really aren't - some things are undesirable - some things i wish i could change and i cant - some people wont change their thinking, etc
- but what can i do -
i can focus on trying to do the things that i believe are right and good, and the best decision in the circumstance, etc. those are the only things i really have control of - my decisions and my effort - i can control those things, even if i can't control the outcome.
regardless of how your spouse feels or what else is going on - at least you have control of something; you can feel honest and positive about your decisions and effort. it has helped me to overcome some aspects of depression.
Jim,
Do you take an anti-depressant as well? I have tried many meds often deciding the side effects were worse than the add. I do not have hyperactivity. I have been taking cymbalta for a couple of months that helps with my depression and a little with anxiety but not with my add. At least i'm not depressed that my life is a mess now! I'll take what I can get. It's interesting that this is the 1st post I read tonight. I went to a 7 yr olds birthday party today and there was a child there that was obviously ADHD. So since I have been home a feel kindof bad because I ended up putting this kid in time out (I don't even know him). The host asked him many times to quit running around, climbing on things, doing flips ect. It was totally an inappropriate situation not to mention potentially dangerous, so I told him to stop, then warned him and then placed him in time out. So this is why I feel kindof bad... I feel like I could have handled it better or nicer or something and I got to thinking how often this little boy probably gets spoken to or treated the same way I treated him. I wonder how that effects his self esteem always being told to quit or stop or no, being looked at with stern faces and spoken to in harsh tones. I have never had to go through that and it really drew a line for me today between ADD and ADHD. So i'm glad I read your post because it gives me a chance to say what I wished I would have said to that little boy instead of yelling. You are special and beautiful because there is truly no one like you, slow down, breathe, relax, enjoy this moment because when it's gone it will never happen again. For all the pain in this life try to find the beauty-It's hiding there- just like you!
Growing up, no one ever suspected I had ADHD, mainly because my childhood was made up of one crisis after another. My mother and father were not happily married, and financial struggles were the norm. I had all the "hyperactivity" associated with ADHD, but it was attributed to being "normally active" for a boy raised in the country. I had at least 3 serious head injuries before I was 8 years old, and also had to have the umbilical cord removed from around my neck at birth. My mother was afraid for many years that I might be "brain-damaged", but since I did well in school, she concluded that I must have been alright.
All of my clumsiness was attributed to me just not being coordinated, and thought that I would eventually outgrow it, which never happened. I just learned to do things by repetition, in order to get by. But the biggest problem that developed was a lack of social skills that extremely affected my self-confidence, and led to me becoming extremely secretive about things that could make me look like a failure. I had that drummed into me (not being a failure) by my mother many, many times, and I learned to hide anything that even suggested a weakness to anyone.
I still struggle with that, and have been only marginally able to deal with all the symptoms of my ADHD, with some meds causing bad side effects, and the usual lack of focus on doing other things that will help keep me organized. My wife is at wits end, wishing that she had never even met me, and I wish I could find a nice deep hole to hide in until death creeps up on me. That is a temporary feeling, mind you, but right now it is what I think.
Any suggestions, guidelines, or mentoring assistance would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to email me at my profile email. Thanks in advance.
cutty,
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down right now.
If you don't mind me asking, when were you first diagnosed? Was it recently? What meds. have you tried that give you bad side effects? What are those side effects? What symptoms are most troublesome to you right now?
There are many on this board who can relate to you and give you some good advise but you'll need to give some specifics.
Most of us have gone through times of sadness or depression. I think it comes with the territory especially if diagnosed as an adult.
When I was first diagnosed with ADHD I was also dx'ed with depression. I 'm so glad my psych. recognised both. She treated the depression first and then after trying a few different meds. for the ADHD we found Adderall to be the best for me.
ADHD does give us some challenges but we can learn to direct out drive and intuition and accomplish great things!
Keep your chin up and know that we are here for you.