POSERS??? | ADHD Information

i was at an Xmass party last weekend some, actually another contractor friend & i held it for our employeees , subs & friends.

some of the younger guys on his crew were telling stories of the years jobs they had done. there were twwo youbg kids who had bad reps for being lazy, i saw them smoke pot all night, as i mingled i talked w/ them and they re boss, yeah so what they are teenagers they are lazy

they made several refernces to their ADD as why they sit around and "cloud dream" on job.

BOY DID THAT PISS ME OFF!!!!!! i didnt say anything just listened, i asked them what ADD is and and told them i thought it was interesting & asked how they found out about it, a high school guidance counsler!

WHAT BULLsh*t... thats right i posted a curse, IM PISSED... these punks thought of it as a hands down excuse, prob guidance counsler DX,,, WTF..

this is what i hate about ADD so trendy & cool

Any of yoou Hardcores out here know ADD is not funny it is not COOL, like running a marathin in ankle weights..

I have heard it as an excuse so much that I can't even make a reference to it when it is the reason.

I am right with you. If they had it they wouldn't use it as an excuse. thanks for sharing, i too have feel like i am treading water with no way out.

I think the so- called "guidence counsler" is really a
"MIS.guidence counsler" . . .he/she 'guided' them into
thinking it was o.k. to be More of the jerks they were .
Since when can any one at ANY school Dx a student
. . .?
Am I missing something here . . .?

IF they really are ADDrs, then they need real help
from someone who cares . . .

hey rayray --- good for you that you have managed to fight your ADD so successfully and lose that laissez-faire i can't be bothered to care about anything - as evinced above!

but that can be exactly my problem - without the meds sometimes i don't have the willpower, the anger, the motivation, the self-discipline, the desire to fight it --- like your colleagues i just give in, blame it all on the ADD and end up yet again, sleeping rough or on a friends sofa or f**king up (don't worry i swear all the time - i'm not cross). i don't care tho cos i LIVE IN MY HEAD...........

i live in my head - you don't. how the hell you got out of it i don't know - how you punched through that fog to get any kind of grasp on life or managed to start to CARE about anything, i don't know. meds i guess.

but perhaps not all meds --- perhaps for you it was some willpower involved and therefore you get jacked off when people talk lightly about ADD. for me, i wouldn't give a flying banana if people talked lightly about ADD - made nothing but jokes about it, and what??? i should care about that --- sheesh, my life is going to hell and i don't give a sh*t about that - why i would care two cents about what a couple of lazy-arsed teenagers had to say about ADD.

but i wish you could give me some pointers on anything that helped you develop that self-discipline that was non-med based.

but anyway there are different types of ADD --- maybe yours never affected your drive and ambition and energy levels, or did it?

mine is a constant drain on any sorta ambition - at its worst i feel almost totally disassociated from my own life.... ah, well.

pre med & diagnosis i was the biggest slug ever

and if i slip on my meds (stop taking) i start f**king up right away..

i like lynns comment these little pricks feel like it was permission to be bums. f that

Thanks D...You're my favorite cheerleader.

You're welcome, D.
You're bulletproof, too.
[QUOTE=Dabonbon]

What I have had to ask for is a written list instead of having a conglomeration of orders barked at me. If they do that, well, then they are setting me up for failure and they won't get what they want because I just can't absorb all that information all at once. [/QUOTE]

Yeah! I just recently realized that myself. If I see it and have a list I can do it but if someone tells me something verbally it's out of my head in less than 3 minutes. I just started getting my husband to write honey-do notes instead of telling me on the phone. It sounds like you have found ways to be pretty successful overall.

[QUOTE=Master Mind]

Has anyone else been there with this sort of thing? It's to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and any progress I've made. My counselor has been telling me I'm doing great but I dunno...how does one judge how well one is progressing? Should I be further along? What exactly does that mean anyway? It just takes time to change things, and it's gradual. Do you feel any better? Are your instincts telling you that you are better?

My guess is that so many of the changes are subtle enough that they go unrecognized, especially since my family and I all live in different states. They seem to only be able to see the more obvious things, such as writing my book. I think that they just aren't seeing the big picture here...what do you think? Should I be concerned that perhaps they are right in their assumptions? Any feedback out there??? Well, it's good to be open to what others are telling you, but I think it's really important for you to believe in what you're doing. It just takes time, and people want to see instant, drastic changes, but that's not the way it works with this kind of problem.

[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Master Mind]Here goes another long post born of the frustration of getting others to understand...

I just went through the second holiday season with my family where I had to endure another round of discussions about having lost weight from the meds...unfortunately, this time it was worse. It got to the point where they said they thought I wasn't doing any better...probably b/c they think I "look like a cancer patient", like "I'm ill", like I'm "withering away".

[/QUOTE]

My concern is how skinny are you? Keep in mind, most people will compliment people who have lost weight to a healthy slenderness. When they start voicing their concern IS usually because you are dangerously thin. And that means not healthy. If you aren't getting the vitamins/proteins, etc.. that you need you may not be noticing any improvements because your brain is deprived of nutrients. In fact, a brain deprived of nutrients is a brain in a fog. I'm very concerned that you may not be seeing just how skinny you are.

Listen to your family and listen to yourself. If you don't feel things are better with you, please be firm when talking to your doc. Tell him everything you told us and if he won't listen, find a new doc.

Not even knowing you, I care about your welfare. Your family cares.

i think you should listen to your family. they know you well and far better than your counselor - they also love and care about you.

i'm surprised to read what you write as for most people it seems there is a DRAMATIC improvement when they start the on stim meds such as Adderall or Ritalin - which, if anything, tailors off after a while rather than taking a while to kick in, but of course you do also need time to put new habits into effect --- you don't say which meds you are on so........ but many (not all) people have posted that the change is dramatically noticeable almost at once, even to work colleagues and others not so close, so it sounds surprising to me??????? and perhaps the meds aren't working for you as they should?

why does your counselor say you are making such great progress when everyone who is close to you in your life says the opposite? what exactly is she/he basing that on? or is s/he just saying what you want to hear???? do you trust her/him?

good luck. it can be a process of trial and error finding meds that suit you --- and perhaps you have more than just ADD to deal with which is why it is taking longer to see results? as you said, you are going out there to try and change and get results and that IS a great thing and all credit to you - but i suppose your family do know you well so i would definitely value what they had to say!!!!!

and talk to your counselor/shrink (or get a new one if you think this one is no good) about their feedback.

[QUOTE=Dabonbon]

As far as aking someone to "accomodate" me because of my ADD, I don't do that. What I have had to ask for is a written list instead of having a conglomeration of orders barked at me. If they do that, well, then they are setting me up for failure and they won't get what they want because I just can't absorb all that information all at once. And I only tell them why I need a list if they ask. I'm not some deadbeat who uses my ADD as an excuse to be a slacker. I work damn hard and as a matter of fact, I make 3x the money my non-ADD husband does.

[/QUOTE]

Way to go, Bonbon!
I make 3 livings a year.
I keep losing the other two.
Thank God I can live on little.
I earned 150k in 04.
In 06 I'll earn 225k.
Got divorced in 05, earned 60k.
And I'm not a doctor nor a lawyer.
I'm ADHD.
Bulletproof.
[QUOTE=Master Mind]
Has anyone else been there with this sort of thing? It's to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and any progress I've made. My counselor has been telling me I'm doing great but I dunno...how does one judge how well one is progressing? Should I be further along? What exactly does that mean anyway?
...
Shouldn't the fact that I'm getting help be a good thing?
... They seem to only be able to see the more obvious things, such as writing my book. I think that they just aren't seeing the big picture here...what do you think? Should I be concerned that perhaps they are right in their assumptions? Any feedback out there???
[/QUOTE]

MasterMind,

Someone else suggested that you listen to your family, but in my case, I would have been worse off listening to my family. They aren't capable of offering support in this way. Having said that, I don't at all suggest that's the case for you.

For example, knowing very next-to-nothing about your circumstances, I would suggest that their concern about your weight could be very legitimate and a sign of caring.

On the other hand, gauging your success on how far you are on your book might not be such a great way to gauge success. Hell, a lot of people with ADD have a hard time completing a book - when reading it.

The most important thing, in my view, is that you're getting help and continuing to ask questions. If you think that your family has valid concerns, I would bring up those with your counselor.

If you're having your own doubts, don't hesitate to get different opinions from different counselors or doctors. No one person can provide you with the information you need. In my case ADD is costing me too much to limit my resources to only one expert.

I hope that helps and keep looking.

punks

I think the guidance counselor had a responsibility and dropped the ball. She is paid not just to suggest a possible diagnosis but also to guide the students to a productive direction.

A lot of the time people with add also need treatment for depression - it sounds to me like the depression is the biggest problem with those teenagers. They also probably need some kind of mentor. (Perhaps everyone needs a mentor when they are starting out.) However, people who are depressed or with add symptoms are not always chosen as mentees - they're difficult and can reflect badly on the mentor. It's a catch 22.

nah they are just punks [QUOTE=MafiaKiddo]LOL I soo agree. In most cases if a person decides to tell people at work about a disability it is so they can slack off. Sorry kids this is the real world and disability or not if you can't handle all the responsibilities of a job then it is not the job for you. [/QUOTE]

with "reasonable accomadation" though, right babe? :-)
pukes You know what I can't stand? When you have no choice but to explain to someone you have ADD and they need to accomodate your challenges a bit, and they don't believe you because only kids have it and, well geeee...."you don't seem hyper."

Does it help to tell people you have add and ask for accomodation?

TheDog38716.4416898148 [QUOTE=Dabonbon]You know what I can't stand? When you have no choice but to explain to someone you have ADD and they need to accomodate your challenges a bit, and they don't believe you because only kids have it and, well geeee...."you don't seem hyper."

So you sigh inwardly and then you have to go into the big ADULT ADD speil which only serves to make you look as though you are some kind of retard, when in fact your own intelligence far surpasses those you are trying to educate. And then of course the moment you turn your back to walk away that ADD psychic thing allows you to FEEL the eyes rolling behind you. That's what I hate.[/QUOTE]

ADHD is an evolutionary advance in the gene pool of mankind.
And they will hate us for it. Some do already.
Time for one of us to discover a new world.
Like our ancestors did with America.
Columbus was ADHD.
So am I.
See?
You can see it in my mustache.
I'm drooling.
Here goes another long post born of the frustration of getting others to understand...

Dabonbon wrote:
"You know what I can't stand? When you have no choice but to explain to someone you have ADD and they need to accomodate your challenges a bit, and they don't believe you because only kids have it and, well geeee...."you don't seem hyper." So you sigh inwardly and then you have to go into the big ADULT ADD speil which only serves to make you look as though you are some kind of retard".

I hear that...it's a challenge when you have to explain it to others who don't believe you b/c they haven't got any understanding with respect to the many ways our add influences our lives...

I just went through the second holiday season with my family where I had to endure another round of discussions about having lost weight from the meds...unfortunately, this time it was worse. It got to the point where they said they thought I wasn't doing any better...probably b/c they think I "look like a cancer patient", like "I'm ill", like I'm "withering away".

Then my mom took it to the next level and brought attention to the fact that I haven't been working on a book I was fired up about writing a few months ago....amazing. It didn't occur to her that maybe the fact that I went through a very difficult break up a few months ago might not have something to do with it.

My brother pushed it to the max when he included the breakup among the list of things that they considered as support for the notion that I'm not doing better. That cut like a knife.

To top that off, my ex had said the same sort of thing prior to our breakup... "I thought you would have made more progress by now" ....another amazement to me. He had diabetes and couldn't seem to grasp that this is a medical condition that doesn't respond in the same manner as insulin does...wouldn't that be sweet...a shot of insulin and you snap out of it like a diabetic does upon being injected with a shot of glucagon when a low blood sugar episode kicks in?

Has anyone else been there with this sort of thing? It's to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and any progress I've made. My counselor has been telling me I'm doing great but I dunno...how does one judge how well one is progressing? Should I be further along? What exactly does that mean anyway?

It bothers me that I'm the one who is the first to get out and do whatever I need to do to overcome the challenges I have faced, yet they don't give me any credit for that. I�ve had to overcome so many obstacles in my life and I wish they could find comfort in knowing that my experience could lend itself to this situation and could toss some encouragement and understanding my way. Shouldn't the fact that I'm getting help be a good thing?

My guess is that so many of the changes are subtle enough that they go unrecognized, especially since my family and I all live in different states. They seem to only be able to see the more obvious things, such as writing my book. I think that they just aren't seeing the big picture here...what do you think? Should I be concerned that perhaps they are right in their assumptions? Any feedback out there???

Master Mind38719.1524421296

[QUOTE=TheDog]

I wish instead the focus could be on empowering us to find solutions.

[/QUOTE]

Yeah! I like that!

Maybe this is too new for me still, but I don't want anyone to know about it. I guess I think they won't understand and I think they will think less of me for it. That's why I like to come here, though, because everybody here understands and I don't have to make some big explanation. But I agree with theDog, some solutions that we can work with without losing who we are would be great.

I also think that many of us are great - but other people don't care about that - they want to be great themselves.

I think the reason others get upset is not because they think we're superior but because they think that we're making excuses for not wanting to do things that no one wants to do. I think they also don't want to be put upon by us.

I was once in a work environment where someone did ask me to do all of their detail work, etc because they felt they had add - little did they know I was taking medicine and struggling with my own. I remember thinking about how I was doing everything I could so that I could do my own and then this person assumed that I was ready to accomodate them.

Personally, outside of a school environment, I think it's better not to ask others to accomodate us. I have had more success when I try to figure out how to accommodate myself. It's really hard sometimes but, from my experience, it's the best way.

I think that books and clinicians who suggest that others wont resent accomodating us are providing a disservice. I wish instead the focus could be on empowering us to find solutions.

LOL I soo agree. In most cases if a person decides to tell people at work about a disability it is so they can slack off. Sorry kids this is the real world and disability or not if you can't handle all the responsibilities of a job then it is not the job for you.