I'm sorry to hear about the situation with you and your son. It sounds like you were describing me, as well. It is not uncommon for some type of transition to add more stress than can be successfully compensated for by someone with ADD. At that point things do appear to snowball out of control.
For me it was the birth of my twin children several years ago. Until then I had benn un-diagnosed but I could hold my life together with a tenuous set of coping mechanisms. The added responsibility and stress exceeded my ability to hold it together andone by one things blew apart or broke down.
Perhaps it was the added burdens of adulthood that were the breaking oint for your son.
Once ADD was identified for me, counseling and medication helped. But it is still an on going challenge to stay focused and motivated. A clear sense of mission and goal setting is important to achieve a sense of accomplishment and competency. This helps combat the fatigue associated with this constant battle.
I wish everyone all the best.
PeaceMaker38001.3096180556My 20 year old son has ADD. I delayed letting him get his driver's license until he was 18, so he has only been driving a couple of years. He has been in several accidents and has gotten some tickets, moving violations, parking tickets, etc. He has already been dropped from my insurance policy, and I suspect his own company will drop him at renewal. He is studying to be an auto mechanic, which he cannot do without insurance. It seems things just snowballed since he became a young adult. I feel I need to let go and when I do, things just get worse, he gets immobilized and does not take care of things, and then things really get bad. He gets depressed and further immobilized. He has been in therapy before, but not recently. He has an appointment with a new therapist next week. He takes Concerta, Prozac and Wellbutrin. The last few months things have really gone downhill. He was staying at his girlfriends most of the time and was skipping medication. I want to be supportive, but I also want to transition responsibilities and consequences to him. I have to admit I am scared about his future. As a wife of someone with ADD, I can relate to how hard it is to not feel responcible about things for your son. My husband's mother did (occasionally still does) a lot of reminding and errand running for him. Now that we have been married for 6 years, I cannot help feeling she has aided in his lack of being able to follow through in daily life and chores. I think the best thing is to let him make his mistakes, he will learn from them and feel good about making it on his own terms.Thanks so much for all the great responses. My son has been to his new counselor three times now and slowly I am seeing some progress. I especially appreciate your advice Renpo429. As I detach, I am doing so with love. I thought my son would be resentful when I stopped paying the parking tickets, but he seems to understand. "Don't worry about holding his hand, just let him know you believe in him." When I read this, I really felt understood. All his life, I have been supportive of my son, tried my best to work with him, advocate for him and have had a lot of input from others who have not experienced what my son and I have. I really appreciate everyone's input.
Oh, I had to change my user name, because I messed up with forgeting my old password so much.
Prozac is not a good medication for ppl with AD(H)D
I don't know why so many Americans get it for ADHD
Must be because this site is sponsored by Prozac...well the ads are anyway
Cognitive therapy and methylphenidate are much better