Gawd, I’m going loopy.......

Pat, welcome!  I just posted to Alexis' mom, and the same advice holds.  I hope you are seeing a board-certified child psychiatrist who has experience treating kids with mood disorders.  First and foremost, your daughter needs a mood stabilizer, or you will continue to walk on eggshells.  Believe me, I have crushed a lot of shells in the last year as 2 of my 3 children -- 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son -- were diagnosed with suspected BP.  Both are on Depakote and doing better.  I hope the doctor listens to you, and you find stability soon.  Please keep us posted on your progress.

Huggs to you Pat! Best of luck with your up coming appointment Friday.

Your a great, loving mom and if you need to cry and vent, let your feelings out. Holding them in will only make you sick. If you didnt love and care about your daughter you wouldnt be having such an emotional reaction so go easy on yourself. All of us here have become unglued from time to time so what parents do here is help glue each other back together. Parents need emotional support as much as the children because we do indeed feel their pain and at times its unbearable pain.

If the doctor poo pooed your concerns then he is clueless about bipolar or any other childhood disorder and if at some point, as SmallMom suggested, it would be wise to swtich doctors and see a clinciian trained in the field of diagnosing and treating childhood disorders. A parent should never have to convince a doctor that the child has a disorder but rather the doctor has to convince the parent that the diagnosis he or she makes is accurate.

Please feel hopeful PatC because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are plenty of children who have been properly diagnosed and are doing well but you dont see those stories on messages boards too often as the parents are no longer in need of the support we all need when we are first starting and/or going through the journey of getting a diagnosis and an effective trreatment plan. Please let us know how it goes on Friday and in the mean time, hang in there. With an accurate diagnosis and an effective treatment plan, it can and does get better.

I'm thrilled that my dd's doctor is finally hearing what I have to say!!!!! We see him Friday come heck or snowstorm, we'll be there. There is something more than ADHD here with her.  I've told him about my worries about the escalating rages and he just poo pooed it for months.  What happened was I called and just lost it on the phone with his nurse, told her suicide or jail was better than living like this.  Yes, it's that bad here.  The eggshells are hell on the feet.  Waiting for the rages to just explode.  I'm trying my best to hang in there but it is getting hard.  I'm feeling like I could cry and not stop for a long time.  And I never really cried much before.  I still have hope that things will work out somehow.  An answer to all this would be good.  It's out there.  She's a wonderful kid, and it hurts to see the pain she is feeling, she come back to "earth" after her rages and apologises over and over so I know she feels bad.  Geez, what a mess.  Ok, I got to change this attitude of mine, no wimpering, got to find that ray of hope and get off the pity party train before I start to like the ride. 

I'm just rambling and babbling along here, don't mind me.  What I want to do is curl in a corner and cry but I have to be strong for her and brother and me too.  It's gonna be ok, just need friends at this time.  Thanks for listening. 

She was 10 weeks premature-twin birth.  Brother has medical issues of his own, Cerebral Palsy and a host of other medical problems.  She is really, really into dinosaurs.  Can tell me names and the period when they lived for dinosaurs I never heard of.  No mood disorders on either side as far as I know.  She has a hard time making friends but I see it -- she has to be the one running the show or she blows up.  Sharing toys is an issue, she'll have friends over but they can't touch anything of hers.  frustrating.  School is good as much as I have found out, good grades.  Her doctor is a pediatritian but he is going to refer us to a neuropsychologist so I'm not too worried.  Had a doctor before this one that just tossed medication at her and basically left us to our own devices.  Called me a mom who is looking for trouble.  uhhhh. With or without Adderal she is angry.  This morning she wanted potato chips for breakfast, I said no and she plops on the floor in a huff.  I did good not engaging in the baiting for a fight, told her no.  She is now eating cereal and giving me the hairy eyeball.....  but at least no explosion.  Guess I'm just tired of looking like the enemy all the time unless she wants something, then I'm the greatest mom in the world.  And if I say no, I am back to being the bad mom.  Ahhhhhhh parenting, ain't it fun.  I'm stronger today.  One day at a time.  Until I find out what is the cause. 

Got to clean house, yee haw.........lol.........take care all.  and thanks for letting me vent. 

PatC,

Welcome to my world! I feel like you have been writing about me and my son (7 yrs. old). He and I do the exact same things you are talking of. We are in the process of finding a new psychiatrist for him. He has been diagnosed with ADHD(which I question, maybe just ADD) and depression with anxiety issues. I am really starting to think he is bipolar instead or along with the other diagnoses. I have learned so much since I joined this board just before Christmas. I have read so many peoples stories, like yours, and have found we are not alone. And, yes some doctors can make you feel so bad and they treat you like your just making this stuff up. But, hey, what do we know, we're just the mother or father! My son's psychiatrist broke the last straw with me just before Christmas. He put my son on an anticonvulsant to help with his aggression (after 2 years he finally tried something for that, he poo- pooed me off too). My son had a horrible reaction, raging for hours. The Doc. would barely talk to me on the phone and treated me like an idiot and showed no understanding or compassion for my son. So, we are in search of a new Doc. My son isn't on the new med. anymore. I took him off after 3 doses and he is better but we still have the aggression and rage at "no" and when he gets frustrated. I'll offer this peice of advice; If your daughter's new Doc. treats you like you're neurotic and stupid, run for the hills and find another Doc. before you get bogged down with the wrong one and are then left to question all the diagnoses that were made and time lost. I'm a bit mad- can you tell? LuvmyKids02 is right, you have to vent or you'll make yourself sick. You sound like you are doing everything right and if you go to bed at the end of the day and know you did the best that you could do that day, even if it was a bad day for the two of you, then you should feel proud. Take care. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

KathyB