yup thats ADD,
though lately im starting to realize not as many bridges are burned as i may percieve,
often i think the world is pissed off at me when peoples actions show that they are satisfied & enjoyed working w/ me.
NOBODY THINKS ABOUT YOU AS MUCH AS YOU THINK AVOUT YOURSELF!!! so if you didnt royally
motherF^&* somebody up & down the street you may have a bridge you can use
TheDog, I often think about what my life could have been if I did not have ADHD or if I had at least been treated. I made good grades in high school (4.0+ GPA, #10 out of 300+ students), okay grades in college, but dropped out of law school. Where could I have been if I really had been able to apply myself? I think of all the half-assed papers I've turned in, completed at the last minute or LATE, getting B's or C's when I could have gotten A's. I think of the texts I've simply been unable to read because they were too boring or detailed or the print too small, or the hard/unfamiliar courses I stayed away from because the level of study and concentration would have been too great. I probably would have had a different major altogether, doing something I have little to no opportunity to do now. I think of the bridges I've burned with employers who recognized my intelligence and capabilities, but who were continually disappointed by my day-to-day performance. I think of the loss of respect of my collegues for me when I am have not been able to come through.
ADHD sucks.
Don't you hate looking back on burned bridges. I look back on all my experiences and it's quite annoying that along the way I burned so many bridges. I would like to use some of those bridges if they weren't burned.
Recently, however, I asked for some reference letters from people I've worked with over the past year and they've come back great. (Of course, I did ask supervisory level people that I thought would be open to it.) I actually have really good work references now. I also called someone up that I was doing some extra contract work with last summer - and she told me she had another opening and asked me to start again. It's great.
However, it's still hard when I consider the bridges I have burned. I still occassionally burn one but it is like one in twenty now. I'm not quite starting from ground zero now but I wish I had been doing better for longer. It's just hard to deal with negative aspects of the past and how it can effect me now - sometimes.
I've actually changed. I can see more and choose to be different a lot of the time. Sometimes I wonder if my disorder is entirely add because I've learned to be different with some things even when I don't take the medicine - it's not easy and I had to consciously learn things - but I actually often act differently than I used to act.
Some add symptoms are still here, but many of the bridges that really are burned, are based more-so on my more self-centered, insecure, depressed state of the past. (I really didn't know how to cope.)
I'm building new bridges but it takes a long time and it's sad to think about the ones that I burned. I think I'm gently mourning them. For some reason, it feels like a forward step.
its funny this was just brought up, i recently was struggling with this too. I make a great freind and have great friends. But i have lost many friends due to once you stop working at being my frend i move on. an example is my best friend n college, we kept in touch for many years then it started to slow down to once a year now just christmas, i miss her, but I can't seem to get the nerve to call her. its like I want th friends to work at it not me. Same with jobs, i am afraid to ask for refernces from people I am not in contact anymore, even though we didn't leave on bad terms.
Its like this, if I make all the effort and get nothing in return i am done with that, I do this in jobs, friendship and life. so i understand completely.
then get on the phone and call your friend
well lets face it just because somebody has ADD doesnt mean they are not an asshole...I'm always totally surprised when former employers
i feel like i have burned so many bridges, all the rivers i've crossed must run black.
i'm with pilgrim- i am always shocked when ppl. have something positive to say about me.
i tend to piss ppl. off, and not always on purpose. so, to get pos. feedback is just not to be expected.