I agree with sonya_h, as you get older, you develop ways of coping with ADHD or ADD.
Also, your ADD can be hidden from others when you were younger and come out when you are older. If you have your whole life in a plan for you, a good school that helps organize you, a parent who hovers over you and helps you with everything you forget, etc. Then you become an adult and you have to organize yourself, life's complexities increase with a job, school, family, children, etc. ADD can become very apparent then.
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Also, your ADD can be hidden from others when you were younger and come out when you are older. If you have your whole life in a plan for you, a good school that helps organize you, a parent who hovers over you and helps you with everything you forget, etc. Then you become an adult and you have to organize yourself, life's complexities increase with a job, school, family, children, etc. ADD can become very apparent then.
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Also very true and possible. Although the core symptoms and brain issues of ad/hd are similar from person to person, the individual's method of coping will be as unique and varied as the personality is in itself, and will have varied ways of manifesting themselves.
bump
does anyone else with adult ADD find that an odd idea? i was just thinking about it --- the fact that ADD used to be considered solely a 'children's disease' and that children grew out of it.
I went to a seminar that addressed adolescent development. At this seminar, the speaker explained that the average female brain hasn't normally finished developing until age 23 and the average male brain until 25. This may explain why some people grow out of add.
I think coping mechanisms also have a lot to do with appearing to grow out of it for others. I think it is possible - with very good parenting, etc - for some of those coping mechanisms to take a stronger hold in the adolescent period. (In my opinion, copng mechanisms can include taking medicine.) Without extraordinary parenting, many of us bring add into adulthood as a real disability and learn to cope later.
In my opinion, there is also a part of the brain that seems to develop much later in some people. I think my brain has developed in my thirties. I think very differently than I did in my twenties or even earlier thirties. I have heard of others with add who have also noticed changes in their thirties. I don't know a lot about this other than what I've experienced and what others have told me.
TheDog38723.3249074074As far as I know, true ADD/ADHD is congenital and one can not "grow out of it." I think children who seem as though they have probably had their behavioral problems rooted in other things, as you stated above (lack of discipline, food issues, etc.). I also believe that society in general still scoffs at the idea that a "children's disorder" could carry over into adulthood. After all, the most well-known symptoms of ADD in children could not possibly apply to an sane and well-adjusted adult. What people fail to realize, is that these children do mature, and coping skills are developed which transform the childish traits into uniquely adult traits. The ADD doesn't go away...It simply changes its skin. [QUOTE=TheDog]
I think coping mechanisms also have a lot to do with appearing to grow out of it for others.
i have been told for years ( ex hubbys bro had ADHD) that it isnt something you "grow out of" that it can even "turn into something else" i dunno about that, but, now that i am older and my 2 kids have ADHD,i have heard repeadedly you cant grow out of it, u either deal with it w/no meds,deal w/it and take meds or it can bring on other things, like depression etc. but one cant simply grow out of it. At least thats what i think.
It makes sense now that i know the symptoms etc. But looking back on my child hood i was always, "lazy" not in the cleaning and homework way, but just was ok to sit and veg, failed school twice, summer school,never graduated, rotten abusive relationships, let people walk all over me and that is putting it so so so lightly, had very bad grades becasue i simply couldnt "get it", especially math, but i am no expert, growing out of ADD, if that is possible, i too wish i woudl have grown out of it. IF i even have it, sometimes i think it is just an excuse for me anyway, that i am just lazy, numb minded etc.
chris r
chris r38723.3752199074New resaerch says adhd and add are not out grown.People do grow out of hyperactivity. In kids, that's often the most predominant symptom -- the part that alerts parents and teachers that there's something wrong. The disappearance of that very observable symptom in adulthood was mistaken for the disappearance of the ADHD itself. Now it is understood that the internal experience of ADHD changes (but does not go away) with adulthood. [QUOTE=cynthiatweedle] [QUOTE=TheDog]
I think coping mechanisms also have a lot to do with appearing to grow out of it for others.
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I think this is true for me. But the truth is I haven't grow out of my ADHD. I am more aware of it and try to work around it.
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I totally agree with this idea that you learn to deal with as you grow older. Most of the books I've ever read about it say you always have it from youth to adult and I can see that I still have some of the same problems as a kid. I think you can heal it as long you work on it using meds, some herbs, change your thinking, coaching, etc. Some don't believe it but I do.
There are also some kids that really seem to be misdiagnosed. I was around a kid yesterday who is rude, disrespectful, in your face - and then takes a stimulant which seems to make him happier but also makes him more active, and no less obnoxious. Basically, for this kid, I think that giving him a stimulant really is a lot like giving him speed.
The symptoms of add can be caused by add or can be caused by other problems in childhood. I think it's really sad that the parents can get him labeled as add and don't help him to become responsible. Then, the hands of the school are tied - they can't help him either because they have to accommodate the nonexistant disability.
I don't completely blame the parents because I know that they just have so much stress in their own lives, which they don't know how to handle, that they don't really have the skills to help their kid - and the "disorder" is such a convenient label.
Will this kid grow out of his "add" though? Probably not - unless he gets a good mentor somewhere along the line - but let's face it, who is going to want to mentor a kid like that. Maybe the military could help a kid like this outgrow his "add".
.IMac38943.8209837963
[QUOTE=chjones]and i also wonder for those with adult ADD --- what was your childhood like?
i was never childish on a lot of levels (or otherwise i am still a child - perhaps that is the problem) from the age of five and as far back as i can remember i thought exactly the same way that i do now. i was never 'childish' in my head. i had a little adult head on me (not in a boring way, not that i was sensible and bossy etc. etc.) but in that i saw things in a very adult light, i think. i think.
[/QUOTE] Good to read your post chjones, I was wondering where you were. If you didn't live across the pond, I would think you were my daughter. She was a very "adult" child. Probably because I was a single mom till she was 10. We did everything together--grocery shopping, socializing, cuz I liked her and I didn't leave her with sitters. Interestingly, in her teens and now at 21, she can seem very "young" for her age.
But one of the things I love best is her random thoughts, that she will verbalize and she makes me laugh so hard. It's usually something very astute and thoughtful and completely unexpected--which is why you remind me of her chj
Growing out of ADD.. hmmm... I'm no scientist but it seems to me that if the disorder is noticed and treated when one is a child, then the possiblity of "growing out of " certain traits do exist.
We learn best when we are children. So, I'm thinking if we had the medical, behavioral, and psycological interventions when we were younger, then its quite posible that we would have a whole truckload of life coping skills available to us that might keep us from actually needing that medication as an adult.
I think the ADD would still be there, but not to the extent that it would be a disorder. Just some traits we would have to deal with and work around.
I know that this little theory doesnt hold water for everyone, because I also know that there are some adult ADDers in this world that DID get all the medication, behavior and cognitive services they needed, yet still needed meds as an adult.
But, I think that this might account for those that seemingly "grew out of " the disorder.
sherry
IMO, I think it's all about "coping mechanisms". As children with ad/hd, we may have had immature and inadequate ways of coping with our symptoms, and our symptoms remain uncovered and obvious.
As adults, we have developed more complex and less noticeable ways of hiding our symptoms, and at times can almost look as if we've "grown out of it".
But you can't grow out of ad/hd.
If you have a very minor case of ad/hd, then you may develope adequate coping strategies to get by in life.
Unfortunately, if you have it severely, then you usually develope damaging and inadequate coping techniques, and it becomes blatantly obvious that there are still issues there.
sonya_h38724.642974537[QUOTE=ragurl]Good to read your post chjones, I was wondering where you were. If you didn't live across the pond, I would think you were my daughter. She was a very "adult" child. Probably because I was a single mom till she was 10. We did everything together--grocery shopping, socializing, cuz I liked her and I didn't leave her with sitters. Interestingly, in her teens and now at 21, she can seem very "young" for her age.
But one of the things I love best is her random thoughts, that she will verbalize and she makes me laugh so hard. It's usually something very astute and thoughtful and completely unexpected--which is why you remind me of her chj
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hello, hello ragurl
yeah, i stayed a bit young for my age too (at that age - possibly now too). i think your daughter is so lucky to KNOW about ADD. i swear just the diagnosis makes all the difference to me. and i wish and wish i had known earlier -
although i am, in my own weird way a huge fan of ADD and i don't want to medicate myself... so for me, on some levels i guess i am glad i didn't find out about the 'adderall/ritalin' etc. earlier because i wouldn't have had the strength to refuse the medication (which again might have been a great thing - but at the moment i think not).
anyways lovely to hear from you too!!! i have been wandering about doing bits of work here and there so have not been around so much recently. the new year has started well for me! and according to my friend who is born a few days before me --- this is going to be a great year for Aquarians hahahahaha! so hooray, future here i come!
god, give me the courage i need!
I just wanted to add:
As adults, ADHDer can get jobs that don't require them to sit at a desk and pay attention for 6 hours a day, wait in line and get along with 30 peers on a daily basis. Growing out of it can also be related to growing out of the school environment.
Also growing up and leaving home can force ADHD kids to learn coping mechanisms along with their new adult responsibilities - without labeling it "coping."
I read something ages ago that estimated that ADHDers were socially delayed by approximately 1/3 their chronological age. Don't know if it is actual fact, but I know that is true about me, and about every ADHDer I have known. I haven't ever known anyone to bust into a spontaneous grin or do a snoopy dance unless they have ADHD.
I think that we also tend to be oddly mature in specific areas (patience with others, emotional awareness). Is that an ADHD thing? Or is it just my universe?
Reisa that is right for many. As with anything there are variables so it doesn't happen for all.
For example I find that most men with inattentive ADHD (like me) have some maturity areas locked down at about age 6 or 7 (about when ADHD becomes awful). It's like we matured to that point then lost the push.
Some places though we can excel at least on the surface. I think we hyperfocus on some place we found solace or stability and the rest goes to the side. For me it was respect for elders and women. I am hypercritical of that and even in the tough times was that way. It was as if the rest of my morals were totally blocked and confused but I ALWAYS knew you don't hurt elders or women! I incidentally hurt kids through my immaturity but never intentionally. Still makes me sad.
We certainly don't grow out of ADHD. Some find ways to cope where they no longer feel the negatives. Then it's not a disorder and no trouble there. Others are trapped and there's no way out until it's much worse. Many of us in our 30s or more.
Interesting points - I don't agree with all but it's things that make you go hmmmm