video game addiction
I've been reading up on video game addiction and found out it's a real problem for many preteens and teens. Especially the RPG (role playing games). Just wondering if any parents of the teenagers have this problem with their child and if they have found effective ways of limiting where it wasn't a fight every day?
I think the kids under 12 are much easier to control than the ones over 12.
My son is an only child, so it has helped when friends are busy. It has really helped his ability to focus and he has great hand/ eye coordination. Of course there are great learning games for the computer if video games aren't what you want for your kids. I always bought a new learning game every summer while he was off school. He asked to play them, and it helped him with math ect.
Yeah, we don't have a game system in our home because I think there is so much more they can be doing. However, I think it is alot easier to go without one when you have a house full of girls. KWIM
Anyway, most of my suggestions are probably geared more toward younger kids. I think though that if you limit accessibility to it, it will make it more difficult for them to play all the time. For instance, if you keep it out of their bedrooms and put it in the family room. They will have to share the tv with the rest of the family. That works best of course if everyone uses that tv a fair bit. I do agree that keeping them busy in outside activities is a great way to keep the focus off of it. I am huge on this idea, especially for girls. I think it keeps them out of all kinds of trouble.
Good topic. I'm curious. I don't plan on buying my son video games. It does more harm than good.My son didn't get a game system until he was 12. With School, home work, karate, friends, and family, he has a lot to keep him busy. I think that's the key, having plenty of other things to keep them busy, and having a well rounded life style. Smart moms, not getting a game system for their kids. I got one and he's on it all weekend-from morning to bedtime. He's not allowed on during the week because of homework. In summer he's limited in time he can spend, when he's not working. The great thing about it is it works really well as a motivator, otherwise it would be gone. I've taken it away for swearing, or if there are school issues, so he does toe the line pretty well. mom of 15 yr. old.I think the good think about games, it can provide a fun social experience when a friend comes over and they play together. My son is very good at his games and his friends like to call him for tips. It makes him feel good. Since he's awful at sports, it's something else a kid might admire.
Of course the gameboy can have the opposite effect cause they play by themselves. I'm trying to limit his time to one hour but believe me, we have a daily argument about it. But I agree it's certainly the best for reward or punishment. It's the only thing I can give or take away that he's passionate about.
Like I said, this summer I'm sending my son to a 4 week sleepaway camp for fresh air and exercise and then he's going to a 2 week computer camp where his can learn how to create video games. At least that way, he's learning something rather than just playing...plus he'll meet kids who are game freaks like him. He may come out of there with a friend. He's 12.
Thank you, smallmom! I've shared your reply with my husband. We've been talking about getting him in to see the psychologist who we took him to a year ago, but I'm really beginning to think he needs meds. Our 17 year old son has been diagnosed with cyclothymic disorder, and his sister is ADHD, but they have thought that she has had some manic symptoms in the past. So, bi-polar disorder is in his genetics. Geeze, he has always been our problem-free child in the past! It must be that some of his symptoms have been triggered by adolescence. Thank you again for your information.My husband and I chose not to get a game system many years ago. We figured the computer was enough and were very careful about which games they could play and stayed on top of how long they were on a computer. (timer, sign in sheets or mom's direction) Also figured that they could go to someone else's house to play.
video games are big socially for boys. I know one parent that bought a game systme to actually help her son socially. My son often said that he felt left out in social conversations because he didn't know all the names of things they talked about. My son is shy in social groups so it made it a little bit more difficult. Although personally, I was rather pleased that he would get bored at a video game gathering because of waiting around to play.
I would rather see them interact with each other than tech stuff. Our kids played a lot of street games with as many kids that they could gather in the neighborhood...soccer, Capture the Flag, and Ghost in the Graveyard on summer nights were always big hits. Our house was a gathering place for board games and Legos. We also have a lot of good strategy and role playing games that I encouraged over computer and video games. We generally get one new computer game a year.
Balancing out one's life has always been a topic of discussion in our house.
Now as an 11th grader ds is challenged by committing himself to too many things related to school, trying to keep up with homework and school projects he didn't even need to do. So he doesn't have enough down, physical, social time. Hopefully next year he won't take on too much.
I made the colossal mistake of getting my son a game system when he was seven. HUGE mistake. Already prone to obsessions over things, he became so completely immersed in games that it was the ONLY thing he EVER wanted to do for at least a year and a half!!!! It was a HORRIBLE time for us. He did very poorly in school and even told me that he could think of nothing else but games while in class. He'd get off the bus and totally freak out if I said he couldn't get on his game system right away. I bought into the arguement that it was helping him focus, though. My own mind was all over the place since we were having so many issues with him.
He's going to be 10 next month, and he usually only plays games on the weekends (HIS choice). The obsession is over, and so are many of the "issues" we once had (not related to the games, by the way).
If anyone needs to understand why these kids can focus so well on these games (and television), the answer lies in the fact that the pictures/sounds/action change constantly, every 5 to 10 seconds. There's no time for boredom. And even if you are bored by the TV, you can change the channel or game and continue the nonstop visual and sound changes. What child who has attention difficulties wouldn't rather focus on that instead of a teacher who talks for half an hour or more about a topic on the chalkboard or in the textbook they have to stare at for the duration of the class? I TOTALLY agree that these games can help with hand/eye coordination, and they can certainly give a child a sense of accomplishment, but I know life would have been FAR easier a few years back if we had never bought into the game system fad.
Steppingstone, I strongly encourage you to have your son evaluated by a child psychiatrist. He most definitely sounds depressed and needs attention sooner rather than later. My 12-year-old son's pscychiatrist recently warned us to limit the computer and video games because kids who have emotional issues can start to play these games to the exclusion of everything else and then stop functioning in real life. (My son has a working dx of bipolar disorder.) Our pscyhiatrist says it can be addicting for kids. Please get your son help now. Good luck.
We have always had video games in our home. Our daughter, who is eight years old and has ADHD has never had any difficulties with them. She has always been able to self moderate, and does not even play them daily. Not so with our 14 year old son! He began playing when he was preschool age. There were no difficulties until he was about eleven years old, then the grades began to drop. He has always been a good kid with a great deal of common sense. He is intelligent, and tests out at several years beyond his age level on IQ tests. However, at about age 11, he became an underachiever. This has become progressively worse. He is now a freshman in high school, and is failing in several classes. He sits playing the video games for up to 16 hours a day. He has stopped interacting with the family. We have to force him to stop playing to eat, or, otherwise he will not eat. Although he has always been popular, and has had a nice group of friends, he has lost interest in them, unless they are fellow gamers. He has a burned out appearance, neglects his hygiene at times, and is irritable when not playing. We have presently grounded him from playing because of his recent grades, so he is not speaking to either one of us. However, we do worry about him, as he appears extremely depressed since we have done this. We are probably going to take him to a counselor. I have done some recent reading on this topic concerning dopamine levels sometimes doubleing when certain people are playing video games. Research states that this gives them a high similar to using speed!! They also develop a tolerance similar to a junkie, where they have to play longer in order to get their fix, and also suffer withdrawls. We are beginning to consider just getting rid of the games. My advice is either don't let them start, or closely monitor the amount of time the kids spend on them from the beginning. We didn't, but we sure wish that we had!That's why I waited until my son was 12. He had been asking for 2 years prior. By 12 they usually have many other interests and friends, so they don't get totally consumed by the video games. By 12 my son had been in karate for 3 years, had several close friends, liked legos, rock collecting,card collecting, army figures, hot wheels, skate boarding, ect. At younger ages they are still exploreing and finding things they like. I think with younger kids I would stick with computer learning games. I did, and it helped my son with school, he could still feel like he was a little cool, while atleast learning something and not just playing games. My cousin who dx is ADHD and BP he also has some other dx I can't remember off hand. Any way his physiatrist (physiatrist has ADHD too) told his parents that vidio games are great for kids with ADHD. The reason being is in order to play this gams you have to sit and consintrate this making there brain function like a normal childs brain. The more there brain functions normal the more normal it becomes. He said look at it like this any thing bad for you is good for them (caffine, vidio games, computer games, ect.) I think this is true my daughter dx ADHD can not sit still for nothing but she will sit and play vidio games and computer games. As long as the games are not fustrating she is very sweet and calm while playing.I too would like to get some more information regarding "gaming" for kids (10yo). I try to limit the amount because my daughter would sit for hours if I allowed it. She's social, but as an only child she is also perfectly happy to make projects in her room alone or read. I try limit the gaming as a reward (complete a sheet of homework= 5-20min)except for weekends. I wish I knew if this had a positive or negative on the kids. Yes, they can sit and concentrate for hours(due to constant movement on the screen), so does that make it MORE difficult for them to concentrate in class, etc?
Two things I would like to say about that, I remember
when I was a child about 10 or so, and I had a friend
whose brother was ADHD (at that time I didn't know what
it was, this was mid 80's) but all I can remember was
Nintendo was new, and all he did was play all day and
night.. his mother had to give him protein shakes just to
make sure he would eat. When he wasn't playing the video
games he was off the walls.. I think she allowed it just
because it gave her peace and kept him focused, and I
remember thinking then.. how healthy is this? I dont'
know much about the medication they had then and how
fresh it was to everyone, this whole ADD thing but I now
can see her struggle as a parent.
Second, I have a son who is now 14, he wasn't allowed
video games or even a t.v in his room until he was about
11, and only lately has been really playing the games.
But t.v boy.. I mean even commercials kept his attention.
I don't mind the video games so much I think he feels if
he can conquer game he feels he has accomplished
something. But I make him take breaks to read, and go
outside and there are time limits. When he was younger I
had him in EVERYTHING but nothing kept his focus. still
working on that.I found that my son who is only 6.5 yrs old and my friend's son who is even younger get to obsessed and addicted to video games....her son...will even wake up in the middle of the night and they will find him playing his DS at like 4 am ....why it's where he can have free access to it...no idea? However she has since changed that. My son has to earn video game, tv, or computer time at home.
and he gets 30 mins at a time ..cause if he had his way he would do those 3 things and that is it lol
Enter Your Email below to claim your Free Book