Bad bad funk | ADHD Information
Have you got someone, a trusted friend or whatever to hear with understanding, your cry for help? Meanwhile, take that mongrel "Im no good " tape outa your head, throw it to the dogs where it belongs and replace it with "I WILL SURVIVE!!!.....Dya think I'll crumble? Dya think I'll lay down n' die? ...OH NO!! NOT I!!!! ....." I know.... Coupled with faith in God, I've done just that and not just once or twice either....oh yes, been to hell n' back, yet Im here today...all the stronger and wiser for the experiences. You can do it.
Thanks. Yeah, I've got someone. My husband but I don't always share my dark inner thoughts with him because like a lot of men, he tries to 'fix' me.
Sometimes you just need to kvetch.
Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's just a cyclical funk, maybe it's badly needed downloading time, maybe I'm just realizing I'm a hopeless screw up but right now I feel lost (mentally), like I'm on the verge of failure again, and I don't know what to do about it. I'm talking about my career (massage therapy). It's the after the holidays and I have ZERO clients. I've got insurance to pay and no income.
The tape playing in my head goes like this: "See we told you this was going to happen", "You thought you were so great! If you were all that wouldn't you have people lined up?", "you might as well give up and go to work at Walmart", "You don't have the self-disipline or what it takes to work for yourself. Face it you're just a workerbee." "Just give up."
Does anyone else get these self-defeating tapes playing in their heads? What do you do about it? How do you make it stop and turn it around? This has happened before and I usually snap out of it. This is the longest it has gone on though. Is this depression or just a funk? Does anyone else go through periods like this?
Yes, I'm on my meds (Strattera). I would have thought that it wouldn't be so bad (the funk) as long as I stay on the meds.
My husband is a fixer too - I know exactly what you mean. I like Fisher's advice - the small goals help when everything is too big and overwhelming to think about. Maybe you can find one small goal that you can accomplish related to your business and then go on to the next thing to get you rolling again. Maybe try not to look at the whole picture right at this moment when you're feeling down, just smaller things you can do to get going again.
When my critical, negative inner voice gets going it gets really vicious. I have to kind of sneak up on it with a sucker punch. I go in stages.
If my tapes say "Reisa, you suck" then I start with "ok, I suck, but I am not the only person who sucks" and then "other sucky people don't run around hiding their faces, so I won't either" then "this isn't terrible" then "this is actually ok" then "give yourself some credit, that is pretty good" then (every now and then) "wow I did that and it was cool!"
The theme varies, but the idea is the same. I can't go from Reisa sucks to Reisa is cool in a big leap. As long my tapes are nicer to me than they were yesterday, I am making progress.
The other thing that sometimes works is: If you wouldn't say it to someone else, don't say it to yourself. I can be tons nicer to other people than I am to me. Making myself treat myself decently isn't so hard if I use that statement as a ruler.
Prob the Seasonal feeling down syndrom thats pretty norm for this time of the year. i was kinda in a funk and now i feel much better. Just being more active in my daily life the little things that make me go YAY! during the day. Also going to the gym REALY helps me with that!
pick a little goal and achieve it every day. Even if its just clearing off a square foot of desk space, doing ___ sit ups, washing the windows (one a day) ... and kvetch if you need to just tell hubby to listen and respond only non verbally , that what you need from him is a hug if he feels the need to help. If you don't think he can shut up (and that is mee too) feed him a peanut butter sandwich first and hold the milk.
I think you need to start with talking positively to yourself. Destroy the negative self talk tape! Remember why you wanted to be a massage therapist in the first place. Is it because you love the work and you're very good at it?
Then you need to sit down and make up a new plan to get the clients. Take small steps. I bet you are creative. Sit down with a trusted friend and trouble shoot some ideas.
And mostly, beleive that you can do it!
bepatient38743.9142592593I've made some real progress this past week. On Tuesday my spirit informed that it was sick and tired of hearing me whine. That whining was getting me nowhere. Clients weren't going to beat a path to my door if they didn't even know that I even existed. I had to get off my butt and start tooting my own horn. Network, pass out cards, be outgoing.
Y'all are going to be proud of this. .. So last night I went to a book signing for one of my favorite authors: Jill Connor Browne "Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love" - 1st of 4 books so far. She's a very funny Southern writer. Anyway, I post on another message board with a lot of very funny women. Many in my area. So anyway, I got to thinking that JCB was in part responsible for pursuing my passion to begin with. She provided a few words of encouragement when I needed it most. So I contacted her and offered her a free massage before she left town. At worst she would say no, at best I give her a massage and become her personal MT when she's in town. She said she had to leave early early but would take me up on it at a later date. Not bad, huh? So I went to the book signing, gave her my card, met some other wonderful funny women in the area and handed out a whole bunch of cards. I networked!
I'm sure some of y'all can tend to be a bit on the reclusive side. I know I can. My natural instinct is to isolate myself (self-defensive technique) but I did the worst/best case scenario thing in my head and decided to go, to put myself out there even though it was a little scarey and uncomfortable. Nothing may come of all those contacts I made, but something may, maybe not right away but it could.
Hope springs eternal in the ADD mind. The idea of what could happen is always more fascinating than what is. The trick is to not let my head make up this elaborate pipe dream of how it's all going to work only to come crashing down when it doesn't. So I focus on the small accomplishment. I networked, met some wonderful women, the rest I give to the Universe.
Wow good for you!! It's nice that you noted that your mood is cyclical (could it be hormonal a bit?) and that it eased up off you enough to come back. I'm proud that you came back - it doesn't always happen without someone strong slapping you around a while LOL.
Have you tried to go to personal grooming places (hairdressers, etc.). They often contract out massages for clients as they do nails, reflexology - the works. I know this as I saw a program on it. They try to be a one-stop shop and many times clients ask for special treatment and you'd get a large cut - they rent you space or take commission!
Just a thought. I'm a man - a fixer that's what we do LOL. I try to just listen but frankly that's tougher than it sounds.
Good luck to you .
That is wonderful! I don't know you, but you should be proud of yourself. *Gets a vicarious "proud" from reading your post.* It takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there, and you did! I am told that it will get easier with practice and becomes all in a days work eventually.
I had my own business for a short time, but at that point in my life I needed a ton more therapy before I could put myself out there like you did. Come to think of it, I still would probably need a ton more therapy to put myself out there like you just did. You deserve to spend lots of time patting yourself on the back! Here, I will help...
And NO GLEN, it probably wasn't hormones -- geez what a guy! LOL
I actually considered that it might be hormones but it (the funk) started right after what should have been my bitchy period.
I finally realized that I was in fact in the middle of a seasonal, overwhelmed with the $$ of what I need/have to earn over the next year and a half. Starting at the end of Feb. I've got to find new health insurance ($$) and I committed the family to a trip to NZ to visit friends in summer of 07. (major $$) So it's easy to see why I was overwhelmed with the financial aspects of what I need to accomplish. The professional and emotional rewards of working are one thing but they don't put much pressure on a person. Pressure of a financial sort can be terribly overwhelming but it will motivate you to stop comtemplating your belly button and get off your butt!
GO ME!