We think that our toddler has ADHD
. JEROMES MOMCongratulations -- it sounds like you have a very intelligent, active
child! Climbing at an early age is wonderful! Exhausting
for you parents, of course, but what potential!Books you might find helpful include:
The Fussy Baby by William Sears -- about babies who need more: more cuddling, more attention etc.
Raising Your Spirited Child -- about children who are MORE energetic, sensitive, persistent, etc.
The Explosive Child -- more for children a little older, perhaps. About children who "melt down" and have tantrums in situations they can't handle.
You can try to think ahead and avoid frustrations for him. I know this is
almost impossible, but you can avoid some of the frustrations. Spending
more time in places like playgrounds can help, where almost anything he wants to
do is allowed. When you bring him to a place, you can try to think like
him: what is he going to want to climb on? And then solve the problems
before they happen: how can you either make it safe, or take him away
so he won't see it and get ideas, or distract him with something he'll find
even more interesting?
And then when he does have a tantrum, you can try to avoid doing
anything that looks like "giving in", but at the same time be calm and
comforting, perhaps hugging him if he allows it and saying things like
"I know this is a big disappointment for you." (Probably he can
understand a lot more words than he can say. Anyway, he gets the
tone of voice.)
You might like the game for an active child on my website:
designed to let an active
little person let off steam while the parent sort-of gets to rest.
As soon as he's old enough to run back and forth.
http://www.ncf.ca/~an588/par_home.html
Hi Tobismom
I suggest you get this book "IS THIS YOUR CHILD?" by Dr. Doris Rapp. An excellent book on discovering and treating unrecognized allergies in children.
He is so young. Try to find out if it's food related first. You'd be amazed at what dairy, wheat, corn and others can do to a child. Research food related allergies on the net.
I agree with Rosina on "the Expolsive Child" what a great book on discipline, I still go back and reread it.
Good Luck
Sounds EXACTLY like my son at age 5. He's 13 now. He was my first child, I didn't know what I was doing. My mom kept telling me I was just impatient with him. This kid would climb the walls. I have so many stories of the things that kid did. I laugh now. But back then I used to sit and cry, wondering what I was doing wrong. Thinking that I was a terrible mother with no patience. He had some developmental delays too and we got him involved in a program for developed delayed children. They were our salvation. He took him to a psychiatrist and he diagnosed him with ADHD. His doctor put him on ritalin and I swear I could see the diference right away. I could finally spend some quality time with my little boy and enjoy it. I could sit with him and read books and he'd listen and we could actually go out to eat. He settled down so much. We have concentration problems now. But I think it's very important to diagnose it early. My little girl kind of seemed a little hyper...well she is...but going thru it now that I have experience has made me more patient with her. I think getting them diagnosed is the first step. At least you know what's wrong and you can take measures to help him. GOOD LUCK!!Maybe he has it - Maybe he doesnt - unfortunately it is very hard to diagnose until school age. But feel at ease to know that a lot of us have been through it and dont ever forget - one day he will leave home
Yea, with real young children it's hard to know. I've known some real LuLu's so to speak and their a-okay as far as ADHD goes.
My son too climbed on everything, he fell once and just about bit his tongue off and it didn't slow him down one bit.
This might sound awful but when he had a tantrum and through himself on the floor kicking and screaming I took a cold glass of water and threw it at him the tantrums stopped right quick after about the third time. He liked shopping so never had trouble there when he was little. Good luck scaredtodeath
Hi everyone.. My name is Linda and we have an 18 month old little boy that is very high maintenance.. My husband and I have suspected for a while that something is not right.. Tobi climbed at a very early age.. He now climbs to the top of his dresser and trys to jump off, he does not sit still for very long, throws his toys, hits and kicks, and his temper tantrums are horrible.. He won't sit still in the grocery cart or the stroller.. Eating out is something that we dont' do anymore.. He does not listen at all.. Does not sleep through the night.. As an infant he would not let us put him down.. He only says about 4 words.. However we keep getting told that he is a toddler and they are into everything.. We have an appointment with our doctor on Monday.. I am hoping to find answers to why he behaves this way.. I am glad that I have found this board.. Thanks for listening..
linda
Dear Linda,
He sounds alot like my 10yr. old at that age. My son climbed on everything also, even before he could walk. He would not sit still in a grocery cart which was a very difficult situation for me because I was trying to carry my baby girl in a snuggly, yes shopping was always stressful. At 2 he and I would already engage in a battle of wills contest. He threw awful fits, could not handle play groups, and he had night-terror episodes constantly. Going to a relatives house was always interesting and stressful; most of the time we would leave with something broken. I too knew something was different about him, most people just thought that he was a brat and that he did not get enough discipline. I didn't seek help until the begining of this year, but I wish I had done something sooner--Preschool and Kingergarden was a nightmare. He did o.k in first and second grade only becuase he had very understanding teachers. No one ever told me that he may have ADHD and I never blamed his behavioral problems on that because I did not know to much about ADHD. My advice is to get early treatment for your sanity as well as your childs. Hang in their, there is hope.
That is like deja-vu. My daughter was climbing and running really young also. I had 2 toddlers so that made my life interesting. I had her diagnosed after my daughters and I moved to a different province after a divorce. And I am really glad that I did that, she was 4 1/5 when we first started on a very mild dose of ritalin to help her in kindergarten. Now she is doing pretty good and going into grade 3. Still has a few learning issues at school but is better
She is still crazy hyper and it is a battle of wills most days, but over all knowing what the problem is and how to treat it makes things a lot easier.
Good Luck
I actually had tears come to my eyes as I was reading these posts, my son is 23 months old and since he could crawl I've thought something wasn't right but since this is my first child I wasn't sure and everyone tells me he's just being a toddler but he is so destructive to himself, others and toys. He crawls in the oven, the counters and anything else he can hike his leg onto. We never go out to eat and I have to beg my own mother to babysit every now and then so I can grocery shop in peace. He doesn't sit still for anything, even when he eats and is in his high chair he is trying to get out between bites. No kind of discipline works for him and my dad tells me that I just spoil him and don't punish him enough but believe me I do! I love him so much but he almost every night I want to cry. I'm so scared that he'll break something like a bone or worse because of all the climbing and he is so clumsy. He seems to sleep fine but someone (who also has an ADHD child) told me that sleeping ten hours a night is normal because most of the time he isn't really sleeping because his mind is racing...he also sleep walks. He's never sat down for longer than 2 minutes unless he was sick but even then he kept switching positions. Your not alone I know exactly what your going through and I'm scared of what the next 2-3 years are going to be like before he will be old enough to be diagnosed w/ ADHD and not "terrible twos".
-Ashley
It is too soon to diagnose ADHD in your son. It could be that he is just an active toddler, but it could also be early signs of a disorder.
I think the key is to start setting clear limits, now. He is at the age where you can start to implement a 1-min. time-out. It will take a little time for him to understand that he must stay put, but with persistance it will come.
Whenever, my 22mth old starts to melt down, I warn her with a time-out. She will usually calm right down at this point. However, if it persists she has a time-out. She will immediatley calm down once in time-out. At first, she would carry on and on, but now she realizes that it will not get her what she wants. She has learned her boundry.
This is what your son is beginning to figure out, and he desires clear boundries. He wants to be told "no". Toddlers are notorious for not listening, but keep reiterating your rules. "We do not climb up here. No-no! Show Mommy where the no-no is."
You may also want to look into using sign language with your son. He is normal with only saying 4 words right now, but it does add to his frustration level. If you can give him the signs for what he wants, I think you will see a major decrease in his frustration, as well as an increase in his verbal skills. Here is a wonderful site for you on it:
Hang in there, and always listen to your gut. I would definately speak with your son's ped. about your concerns. Ask for his suggestions on how to deal with the behavior, and some books that may help you.
A book I would reccomend is Touchpoints: Birth-3 by T. Berry Brazelton. It explains each major developmental stage for your child both physically and psychologically. I think you would really find it useful.
Our son is 3 with a dx of ADHD and sounds exactly like your experience. I have known since he was an infant that he was different than the other children, I just did not have a label for it. As a mother, you know your child better than anyone else and if your gut is telling you he is different then you are probably right! (not at all dx'ing your child, just to clarify!). I know the feeling of seeing a "normal" kids tantrum and comparing it to how your kid reacts. My son was especially reactionary and impulsive and also had a hard time with transitioning from one activity to another. (in addition to the constant motion!)
There are many many things you can do even at a young age.... looks like lots of good recommendations on this board. You might check out the Alternative to Meds as well -- even if it's not ADHD many of the supplements would not be harmful at all!
Good luck, you are not alone!
I have a toddler also who is 17 months although I am sure she is not ADHD we still refuse to take her to restaurants......nobody can enjoy their meal because she throws food when finished, wants to get out of her high chair, wants to explore the environment... I feel like the other customes are about to clap when we leave. OUT To EAT and TODDLERS dont mix...we always end up feeling so stressed after the meal its just not worth the trouble....yes, I know we need to work on HIGH CHAIR Manners
I agree that it is difficult to determine what is "normal" development/behavior and what may need to be watched.
Will your guy sit still long enough to watch the Wiggles or the Tubbies or Baby Einstein?
Does he have any favorites?
If it helps, Iam a newbie here, and my son is 3 years and 4 months and I am just beginning the process of obtaining a diagnosis. Whether or not he is diagnosed with anything now, or at some point in the future, is a different issue at this age (at least in my mind) than how you deal with the behavior issues. My ds was into everything early (good for him!), climbing, running and talking. He was more active than most children, even those older than him, aggressive (hitting with objects, kicking, pushing) and defiant. At 18 months old he climed to the top of a recliner chair while I was not looking (at Christmas, with 20 people in the house) fell off and broke his right arm (and my heart). He is still more accident prone, more active and less compliant than other children his age, impulsive and reactive. In the last 10 months, he has been kicked out of four daycares/preschools (fingers crossed that this new #5, a Montessori school, is more tolerant!). I am seeking assistance from a neurologist, not to receive a firm diagnosis at this age (which is probably not possible) but to begin to identify the behaviors and eliminate potential diagnoses (like Asperger's or high functioning autism).
That said, I can completely sympathize with you! Dealing with the behavior issues has been difficult. I try very hard to keep a consistent schedule, and to give him time and "warnings" when we need to transition. Shopping carts -- I always use the "seat belt" and enforce it, he gets to hold my list (works for about 5 minutes) and then can have a snack in the cart (5 or 10 more minutes) Restaurants are still out of the question: I get take out and meet friends at their houses (or mine) or the park.
I have tried 1-2-3 Magic (too much wiggle room for him there), and several different methods of parenting difficult children. I have to "mix it up" on a regular basis, and use combinations of techniques to make it work. One thing I have found, which is true for any toddler but especially for children who are bright and active, is that consistency is key! My favorite book is "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child", which, unlike some of the other books I have read, has practical advice that's easy to implement.
I have also found some truly helpful information on this message board. Techniques that are used for children with ADD/ADHD/PDD and high functioning autism often seem to work with children who are just very active and difficult to parent. The parents here are knowledgable and full of great tips.
Please feel free to email privately if you have questions or just need to vent. I'd be glad to listen.
Something that was frustrating to me was that I read all the parenting books and followed the techniques recommended, and my son just didn't respond the way kids are supposed to. Why did all these great tricks work with other kids and not with mine? People would look at my wild child and comment about the latest parenting tip they had read, and I felt like yelling "but I tried that for 6 months, it doesn't work!"
Looking back and knowing something about ADHD, I now understand which techniques may work for my child, and which won't. Your toddler is still very young, but it does not hurt to do a bit of reading to understand how the mind of an ADDer works. I think it is best to try to treat them like a non-ADD child until you have tried all those options though.
Best of luck with your active child. I used to buy bags of small toys from the thrift shop for $1 a bag, and stick a handful of them in my purse. Then I could pull out a new toy when I reached the end of my patience with my son and it would give me a few minutes of peace.
To Brent: I raised three kids to adulthood so far and the activity of a normal child is pretty obvious. I think it is apparent when they are "over the top." Also raging tantrums are not normal for a child of any age--something is up if they do this. The only child of mine who had these hyper, out of control behaviors was our son that we adopted at two and is now diagnosed as PDD-NOS (first diagnosed with ADHD). The other kids pretty much went with the flow, didn't drive us nuts, slept, played, did their thing, had their moments, but nothing that made me put them to sleep and think, "NOW I HAVE PEACE!!!" My son, on the other hand, didn't even LET us sleep because HE didn't sleep. I remember running after him in the mall at age two. I always thought somebody would pull out their cell phone and report me to CPS. Here was this crazed lady chasing after my then foster child who was black (I am white) while the child screamed like I was going to catch him to torture him...lol. It never happened, but I'm amazed it didn't. My other kids sat in their strollers or walked by my side. Maybe they hide behind clothes when I went shopping just to tease me, but nothing like THAT child. We adopted him aware that he was different, but we didn't know exactly what was going on. I can tell you though, he was very much NOT like my other kids or my friend's toddlers/kindergardners. He has calmed down immensely, which is common with PDD-NOS if the child gets the right interventions. I don't know what happens with ADHD as the kids get older. From what I see on the boards, usually other dx. are added to the list, but maybe the ADHD kids who are doing well just don't have parents who feel the need to post on a support board.If he only is speaking 4 words, has he had chronic ear infections by chance? My son had tons of ear infection and this contributed to a speech delay (in addition to ADD) and when we got tubes in his ears he really began talking up a storm. So you might have him evalutated by an ear, nose, & throat doctor.I really enjoy reading everyones feedback and would like to comment...First off I don't think i was the one who said anything about my son only speaking 4 words he says about 15-20 words which is still below average for his age. I do have som videos for learning they are baby genius (much like baby einstein but cheaper) and every now and then he likes to dance to the wiggles but my son has never and i do mean never since he has started to craw/walk has he sat still for more than 5 minutes. time outs absolutely do not work, when i try to do it he just squirms around screaming, kicking, hitting and biting me or himself. he has started to sleep walk and luckily he isn't tall enough yet to reach the handle on his bedroom door but when he does i think i'll be sleeping on the floor outside his room. ADHD runs in his family, my husband and his brother had it when they were young and all three of his sisters kids have a mild case of it. my youngest brother, aunt and cousin have it as well and i myself had a mild case of it when i was young. This morning i left him in the living room while i went to finish getting ready for work in the bathroom, i was gone less than five minutes and when i came out he was sitting on the stove eating a loaf of bread! I have 8 friends w/ kids ranging from 6 months to 4 yrs old and NONE of their children are as active and rough as my son is. He throws violent temper tantrums and gets frustrated so easily, he has a small table and chair set and if the chair doesn't push in or pull out the right way he will start screaming and flip the table over. I had a man from social services over the other day (asking questions about someone i knew not investigating me) he also has a son around aidens age and sees kids all the time but he even made a comment about how active he was, in the 20 minutes he was here aiden crawled in the oven, threw toys at me, hit me and bit me, open and slammed doors, layed on the floor kicking and screaming when i told him no and scattered a trail of cookies from the kitchen to his room. I helped raise my siblings and cousins from newborn through school age and i know what a normal 2 year old acts like and my son is not normal, as mean as it sounds i just know something isn't right and since mine and my husbands family has seen this before they know what it is...ADHD. I try to read a book to my son but after the first page he gets impatient and doesn't want to sit still so i have to read to him as he runs around the room. i bought him some lego so he could learn some concentration skills but if they don't connect together on the first try then he throws and kicks them. Somebody also mentioned bibolar on here which my mother, grandmother, brother, sister, and dad all have. could you tell me more about that? i don't see how that would make him like this so young....Brent said something about kids being kids, i would love to let my son just be, i would like to color w/ him, take him to the park or museum or do crafts w/ him or even just play w/ his cars and trucks on the floor however i spend more time getting him off counters, etc...then anything else because he won't hold still or pay attention to anything else for more than a minute so if you have any suggestions then i'm all ears, you can even email me privately.momofaiden:
I think the 4 words thing was from the op.
Have you spoken with your ds's ped about your concerns? I am curious what that dr. suggested to you.
i think that you really need to speak to a professional about this..
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