help loosing hope | ADHD Information

i am a mother of 2 boys i know the saying boys will boys but how do you get them to focus to i am not smart enough to get the things at school rolling for my oldest and i get so frustrated trying to figure it all out where do i start how doesit work and how can i make it be inforced. when i do get it going please someone help a simple minded mom understand. what she needs to do inorder to help her very intellegent son. my son is far smart than me and he is only in Kindergarten is how i feel but he is not getting the extra time on work and test and what ever else he needs that i get told he is suppose to have. HELP ME PLEASE. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time, and that things get better for you. Go to www.amazon.com and get the book, From Emotions to Advocacy, by Pam and Pete Wright. In the mean time go to www.wrightslaw.com and read, read, read! The "school" section of this board should be helpful to you. You came to the right board, they have been very supportive and helpful to me!

Hope this helps!i am going to see if i can find a better doc as soon as i can i just hope it will help i am not sure about all this i hate giving my son meds.thanks for the help i will do that Who diagnosed your kids? Have they ever had a NeuroPsych evaluation? A professional should be able to help you. Sounds like somebody's not doing his/her job. You aren't simple minded. We were all confused once!OOOh I understand telling if someone is doing something dangerous but not just to tattle becase they are doing something that you don't like..... That would really upset me..... Our school has "flying high" tickets. When they get cught doing something good or whatever like picking up a piece of trash in the hall and throwing it away they get a ticket that gets put in a box and once a month they draw a ticket and that person gets to eat pizza for lunch..... I like that because it kind of encourages my andrew to try just alittle bit harder....

Kristy,

That is nice wished we had something like that in my daughters school she won't pick up a piece of trash up. She'll just throw something right on the floor and I tell her you need to pick that up it goes in the trash not the floor next behavior thing we will do is keeping the bedrooms clean I can't stand the house dirty but I'm the only one doing it so it seems like it never gets done. Any of you with that problem?

AXM2816,

My mother used to say the same thing to all of us kids - that she was not as smart as we were. I totally disagree. You sound like a very intelligent person to me. You have feelings and a desire to help your children. You are smart! Where do you think he got the smart genes from? You just need to gain some confidence. I agree with the suggestion to read read read. And keep your chin up!

Ok. I know the good and bad of a small public school too. 50 kids graduated in our senior class last year, so that tells you how small our school is! Yes, everyone knows everything. Have you requested an IEP? If so, have you taken an Advocate with you to sit in on the meeting with you so that you can't be intimidated? Your son may need a smaller class size. Both of my remaining kids are in special ed, and it took a bit of fighting on my part to especially get my 12 year old in a special placement. He goes to a nearby school because ours didn't have what he needed. The district has to both sent him and transport him at their expense, not mine. BTW, an Advocate is free. I'd be ticked if a school graded my special needs child on Conduct. I don't believe they should be held to the same standards. That's where an IEP is helpful. Don't let them tell you he doesn't qualify. If his behavior gets in the way of his learning, he does qualify. OlderMom38767.4568287037well more are less just if the child is not perfectly behaved it is not good enough to be in school and each teacher passes on to the next years teacher about my child and there for he is not given the chance to show his true capabilities and is labeled before the next years school even begins his k teacher heard all about him from his pre k teacher and she had him before we knew he was adhd and now it just seems everyone want to just say ok we are trying but all he needs is some one on one i can get him to do good at home but the class room is to much for him and i have talked to the asst. principal and she has him going to group for help but it is during his nap time and he comes home upset and very tired he gets tired easly and gets in trouble alot he can not focuse for hour after hour he likes computers and building and he can read but they want to test him by hearing and he has a hard time with that area they want him to say bus without the b leaving us, say cat withiout the c leaving at and if he looks at it he gets it but he can not master it verbally and i am not sure how to strike at this one. i just get so frustrated when my son comes home with a good conduct color and then someone says yea but before he got picked up to go to day care he got in trouble its like dangit it is a big deal to him that he got white that day and people say things like that to robs him of his earning so what if he got in trouble while waiting out side to get piked up for daycare after school. we have an game cube and the only time he can play it is if he gets white (the best conduct at school) and if he gets green he can only play his gameboy if he gets yellow are red he gets time out or a spanking. and noe video games.. so why do people not understand that what they say around children with adhd affect them greatly. i am just really frustrated lately i wish i knew more so i could start a support group here in my town and get experts to come and speak at our schools and educate our educators. i am working my my knowledge of ahdh but until then i guess it will just be heart break after heart break sorry for venting thanks for the help Exactly what types of problems are you seeing, hon? Take it easy. I'm sure it can get better. My town is less than 2,000 people!OlderMom38767.1431134259

how do i find a nurophyc. for my son? he has never been tested by the school.

unfortunatly i live in a very small town the kind where if the boat gets rocked your child feels the presser. i would rather have him privately tested then just blow the school out of the water. where they have no way to wiggle out of helping my son. i am a single mom and i do not for see being able to home school. i subed in the spec ed class in this school and all they do for those kids is geve them a place to nap and play games all day. i know some of the kids personally and if the proper attention was given then they could very well be great leaders. if just taugh properly. but this is a "football Town" and a lot of kids graduate without even being able to write their name hardly. i wish i was more aware of this before i bought my home here. but any way i am not affraid to fight for my childs rights it is just finding out fully what they are and understanding what i need to know inorder to be ready for the fight. right now he is in a class of like 15 kids small yes i know but my son needs the one on one. if i can get it for him i am willing to fight for it i just do not know how. he is VERY Smart. not a goof at all just smart and REALLY hyper. any way just rambling thanks for all the input every little bit helps......

axm281638767.0554861111If your son gets white, and someone says he did poorly in small things, so what let him earn his game cube for great effort. No one is perfect. For a really bad day just stick to the consequence of loss of the game boy for one night, and possibly some other loss of priveledge. Don't scold or spank. He is trying to be a good boy, and sometimes just can't help himself. Try to focus on the good things he does, and don't let the school make you feel mad at him. I know its stressful but it will get better overall in the longer term. Some days are good and some days aren't. Try not to let it ruin having fun with him at home. He knows when he has a bad day at school without you telling him, he's already been scolded at school. You are on the right track. I don't know about IEPs, but someone else will be able to help you there. What if he has an okay day, he should earn something for the effort too. Otherwise he may not keep trying, because its just too hard.?????? Just wondering, you know your son best.

how do i get an advocate? and what is an iep suppose to have in it and how do i know if i set the right things for my son?

last happening are kind of encouraging i stop letting my son play his favorite game cube. unless he brings home white on his conduct. which is the best color for the day it is a day by day report colender so i know how he does at school during the day. any way so far 4 out of 5 days he has brought home white so i hope it will continue on this path as far as his conduct goes.

I,m sorry for what you are going through. I couldn't quite understand if you had the boys tested in school. Did you? My daughter was and fortunately for us she attends a fabulous public school. Even though she was not "below average in all her testing they put her into the IEP program. This program is in place to help her with various subjects and the program sets guidelines that the teacher must follow in the classroom that will help her to stay focused and on track ie:moves her chair to the front of the room, quiet place to do work,cover half of the worksheet so that she isn't overwhelmed.

She was diagnosed through the school with adhd/inatentive because she quitly distracts herself and at home becomes very frustrated while doing her homework. We have an appt with a neurologist to further investigate what is going on with her.

We have that same exact card pulling system at my daughters school and the have this tattletale card where they tattle on someone if there doing something they don't like and put it in a box and the teacher reads it I don't like that one bit. hi every one we have been doing better in class since the game cube /game boy rule he plays game cube or game boy if he gets white and he plays only game boy if he gets green i have started letting him earn his way back up to white at home by letting him do chores like clean the living room floor or pick up the clothes out of the bedroom things like that it seems to help at times but he can do really good. and i know he can when he wants to so if he gets yellow or red no games at all because he can do it and the teacher he has,, has an adhd child herself so he gets a little extra already. i hate to reward him for getting yellow or red when i know how many extra chanes he gets in the classroom. he is doing better though i am looking into fish oil and othere non med solutions and his teacher said pass on all the info i can to her. so i guess in away she has finally relized he is like her child too. and has been helping a little more. lately which is good .she can not give the one on one but she tries. he sits by her desk and in the front of the group druing cicle time so everyone is behind him things like that so she is finally trying . but i am sure she wears down sfter having to deal with it at work and home i really am starting to feel for her to.

Tattle cards good idea since lots of staff do nothing these days. This should not go on since the world is scarier place to live in now. Beware some give to many chances though. Our kids get 3 that's it. Yes kids don't like helping in the home. Hubbies either. I get little done. We all have assigned jobs but rarely they all get done. Consequences here our kids careless cause they value nothing. I see lots of kids this way. I had to tell Gp's stop the giving. I am harder than Dad/GP is.

I am trying tough love approach. Dad is very strict here. I feel here it is cause what Dad says goes. IL are a big problem here also. We live 1hr. away both ways from his parents for this reason. To be honest I am the one who looks after kid stuff the most. See, so your not alone. I feel like a Single Mom.

i tried the tough love and it mad him worse and now that i have lightined up a bit he is talking to me more about what bothers him and i an able to explain that some people are not like we are and they are all different and he should not take what they say to hard but when it bothers him he does come to me with and i am able to ease his mind because even if he did stuff bad i explain that it was not right and he should tell the person he i sorry and try and do better on his part and it seems to be helping. i have also started ginving him juice plus it is still early but i have prayers that it will help with his nutrition. since he hardly eats vegs or fruit at all. so just keep praying for us and i pray for all of you.

I hate to hear that you're having so many problems and I wish I could wave a magic wand and help. The sad truth of the matter is that some of these smaller towns just don't have good programs and resources set up for special education students or children with IEP's. I know what you mean because I too lived in a small town where I demanded whatever help I was able to get for my son. When I felt that that place had nothing else to offer my son...we moved halfway across the U.S. to Missouri where we knew there were far more resources for him. As a result I lost my house in N.C. and all my furniture, possessions, etc. I could not afford the move without sacrificing those things. I'm with family here in MO and know it was the best damn thing I ever did. I can buy more crap anytime. Best advice I can give you is stand up and fight for whatever you can...if you can't do it get someone who can to help you. There are laws about what services the schools HAVE to give your child. Good Luck and God Bless you and your family. hey thanks for all the input i went to talk with the principle today at my sons school and just kinda laid out that i am trying to this with out ieps and she just said he would not qauliry for that type of help anyway and i just stated well i get him to do more ot home than at school and i was wanting to get my hands on some things to get him ahead of his peers for the up coming year and now i have an entire school at my hands as far as materal is concerned so i will use their own things to educate my son until i can do it no longer!!! may the lord have mercy on the wicked ppl that cause my son pain in education.

Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong here....

I'm not sure why your son wouldn't qualify for an IEP if he's had a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD and I'm not quite sure that trying to get any kind of help from the school without an IEP will work. As far as I can tell having an IEP is not a bad thing at all, it's what gives your son the special help that you seem to be seeking from him. It certainly doesn't mean that he's not intelligent. Without the IEP, I'm afraid you may be facing an uphill battle in 6 feet of snow and you're barefooted.

i guess they think i am that stupid at first i say absolutely dumb but the more i read and the more i get anger building and i am not one to fight any more but i do have lawyers that i stay in good contact with and i will in a heart beat turn it in to his firms hand over this they will get the broom handel when he is through he eats this stuff for breakfast.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11