The mornings are making me Crazy!!
Hello everyone!
First of all I just want to say hello to you all..I new and I am so glad I found this place because I am in desperate need of support, and to know that I am not the only one going through this.
I am the mother of a almost 7 year old girl with severe ADHD, she was diagnosed about 8 months ago, even though I knew way before then. I have her on meds and all that but I am having the hardest time with her in the mornings and keeping her organized and just plain old getting her going. It is a constant battle to do anything with her in the mornings, things are all over the place, she refuses to get dressed, just really really obstinate. I just don't know what to do and I know I need to get her on a good morning routine but nothing seems to work.
I was just wondering if you guys might have some strategies that have worked for you? I know mornings are tough, but I hate fighting with her all morning then have to send her off to school for the whole day.
I'm a child and youth worker in training and I have exhausted my options. Any ideas?!?!
Melanie
Hi melonie, welcome to these boreds, they are a great help & ther are lots of ears on here.I used to have trouble in the morning i still do somtimes & yes they drive me crazy but that is the key, you aint got to let it drive you crazy becoz the more crazy you get the more they love it (i find ne-way)
My morning routine- Get up ,have breakfast, i have to supervise everymove that mikey makes becoz if i walk out the room that is it!
Then they get washed & dressed, i have two boys & a girl & i cant leave them alone to do these normal tasks on there own becoz mikey does'nt just brush his teeth, he'l hog the sink & cor's shouts 'MUUUUM, mikeys doing..... that drives me mad!!!!!!! then its somthing else so its not worth it. when they dressed & ready for school & waiting for me to get myself ready the boys like to play on there game boys & the baby watches the cartoon channels.
One thing you can try that mite help is get everything you need for the next day, ready the nite before, packed lunch, clothes school/gym bag...
Welcome! Mornings can be tough. Believe me, the minute I get my 3 kids out the door every morning, I breathe a huge sigh of relief.
A few thoughts for you: First, try to do as much as you can the night before -- lay out clothes, sign all those pesky school papers and put them in the backpack, pack the backpack and put it by the door, make lunch ahead and store in fridge, etc. Second, if she refuses to get dressed, simply say, "OK, we'll go in your pjs." Pack up her clothes in a bag and get her to school the way you normally do -- walk, drive or put her on the bus. She'll start getting dressed fast after one or two mornings like that because she won't want to be seen in her pjs. Third, if she seems overwhelmed, get down on her level, look her in the eyes, and ask gently, "What can I do to help?" Fourth, make a chart with your DD that lists all she has to do (with pictures) to get ready in the morning. If she stalls, simply point to the chart and ask, "What's the next step on your morning chart?" Fifth, if eating breakfast is a problem, make breakfast-to-go -- cereal in a bag, yogurt and granola parfaits in a disposable cup, one-cup hot oatmeal containers, etc.
Hope that helps. Good luck.
Wow, I feel like I'm reading something I wrote! I have an 8 year old boy who also has a severe case of adhd. I too struggle with mornings. I know I'm probably not much help for ideas, but I just wanted you to know that there is someone else out there with the same problems. It actually felt good to read your post, just knowing that it's not just me. My son is completely defiant with everything I ask of him in the morning. I can't give him his meds until a specific time other wise they wont last the time needed. We he takes his meds they start to work in about 20 min. but until then it can be an absolute screaming match. I too am at the ends of my rope and have tried EVERYTHING! Not sure where to go from here, I just try to pick and choose my battles with him. I try not to get upset as it just makes things worse. But that is very hard to do and keep in mind when things are soooo bad in the morning.
Let me know if you find anything that works.
I just had a idea, becoz, my little girl just spilled my mop bucket water (i was suppose to empty!) all over the floor, i asked my adhd son to help me clean up, -"no,im playing", so i got a dirty towel from the wash basket & put it on the floor, stood on it & walked around the floor dancing the water up, he soon joined in,
my tip- make a game out of what you want her to do & praise her specifically afterwards. let me know how it goes.
I suppose you want suggestions other than standing in the middle of the room yelling "Socks!" "Pants!" "Shoes!" 
As you're seeing on this list, you are not alone. Folks who don't have ADHD kids have *no idea* how tired their parents can be by 7:30 in the morning!!
One morning recently I sent DS off to brush his teeth, which is usually a battle to *keep* him in the bathroom (why shouldn't I brush my teeth upside down on the couch, mom?) but he went in and stayed there. Suspicious, I yelled in .... "Are you doing anything useful in there?" He just laughed and said "Nope, I forgot." Finally heard the water running after that. Sigh.
Give meds early, streamline everything you can, take a lot of deep breaths!
My 5 yr old son is very competitive always has to be first. So in the morning i make everything a race who can wash their face first who can get dressed the fastest. It the only way i can get him do some things that he doesnt want to do. Also i use a chart with pictures on it in order of what i want him to do and if he does all week without making a fuss he gets a special reward. I always ask him wanna race im going to win, Works also at bed time.
The "marble program" got rid of this problem. I don't like repeating myself even once in the mornings. Search under "Smithbaby" and I think you'll find it. It's a rewards system that is self-motivating for the child, and quite liberating for the parent.ADHD is a reactive behavior that is the result of an inability to propperly maintain and shift focus. Unfortunately this is not acceptable, so we often yell at these individuals or become authoratative with them which leads to them developing anxiety/anger/depression which is manifested in defiance and acting out.
How to treat it. Stay the f**k off the stimulant medications because they are poison and will stunt the growth of the frontal lobe amoung other neuronal structures. DO NOT USE RITALIN/STRaterra etc...
Dopamine levels in the frontal lobe are extremely important for shifting focus, when they are low, they can't maintain or shift focus as well.... try using SAM e!!!! look it up on the net, it will increase dopamine among other neurotransmitters WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
NExT the anxiety is also an issue, at night to induce sleep. Good sleep will help. Try passion flower (Again amazing side effect profile, or valerian root,....... also amazing side effect profile.... these will decrease the anxiety and help with deeper sleep. A third option is 5-htp which is converted to melatonin and serotonin... go to take before bed, but with slighly more side effects.... (STILL WAY LESS THAN THE AMPETAMINE CRAP STIMULANT MEDS)....
YOu also need blood testing. A great of adhd kids have deficiencies in minerals and vitamins... A blood test can tell this. In the meantime get a good multivitamin spend the money at gnc mega mans vitamin is good for boys. The most important vitamins are the b vitamins with folic acid. This is synergistic with the sam e. INCREDIBLE RESULTS>>>>>>>>>>>>
The hyperactive component of the adhd releases endorphins that stimulate the release of neurotransmitters that are deficient... USUALLY dopamine, sometimes serotonin. deficiencies in vitamins and nutrients will obviously decrease certain neurotransmitters, so figure out what is missing.
Lastly, parental styles are important. ADHD parents have adhd kids. Authoratative parents suck. Saying do it cause i said so, or saying do it or else is anxiety provoking and challenging. So stop doing it. A persons brain will adapt to the environment, so if the environment sucks, so will your kids brain!
I am a doctor, adhd suffer, doing fine. I left my family 12 years ago, the bunch of them. Figured out what was needed. Did it and moved on. The problem for med was dopamine, and a bad f**king home environment.
GOOD LUCK Thanks everyone so much for your ideas and advice..I will keep you posted on how it goes!All sounds like my house as well, I get to work all stressed out. welcome aboard. I always say I hate mornings and co-workers do not understand for their children have no disability.
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