Coaching .. Tell me why and how | ADHD Information
livingwithadd.. thank you for your response .Looking at the website i feel a bit like a duck out of water . I just dont think in this country we have anything like such a developed professional body as the coaches described there ..
Hmmmmm .. so how do i casually find a person down the street who can act as a coach?? .. what do i do "ask the busdriver" .. i do find some of this funny because i just dont have a clue
Here's a link to an article about ADD Coaching: http://www.add.org/articles/what_add_coaching.html
www.addclasses.com is a site where you can hear some ADD Coaches in action through teleclases and audio recordings.
new zealand . What country are you in?.IMac38949.5040509259
Imac .. For what purpose ?
[QUOTE=2tone]
Imac .. For what purpose ?
[/QUOTE]
You know, you can always buy a book about adhd coaching.
Try this, "ADHD Secrets of Success: Coaching Yourself to Fulfillment in the business World" by Thom Hartmann. You can learn what skills you need to obtain, or you could get some one close to you to read it with you and they can help you by coaching you. Any one can do it, just as long as that person knows what to do, and the right way to do it.
davinci56 thank you for your words , i enjoyed the communication very much
Sorry for being so rigid , but the one thing i find most destructive to me because i am natually so very susceptible to it is being advised to leave my current track to chase after some other target .. so when someone suggest therapy with giving any reasons it just a order to me and potentially a very destructive one to my maintainence of control
see the reality for me is that i know so very much learning has been the greatest consitency in my life .. so the chances of me finding a person with answers that i am not aware of in life is really very slim
on top of this i have certain other qualities that make my situation so unique in many ways that the advise from others usually just doesnt quite make it when i filter it through my lifes window
Havine a profound set of multiple sensitivities since being born with a minor form spina bifida is part and parcel of my existence .. yet clinically i keep being informed by people who seem to have been taught from the same corrupted text book that my exposed nerve in my spine should have no effects upon me .
See usually in a direct interaction event with other members of society when i go seeking some assistance or advice the scenerio quickly changes and i become the one offering advice and sopport to the other .. this ultimately wrecks me .drains me and detroys me
I thought perhaps there was some specific skills that coaches had that i could just use myself by incorporating them into my life ,, i cannot suffer the seeking of advice from psychiatristrs because for instance whenb i declare my life long awareness of my nerve related condition and the innate connection iffeel to the hole in my spine since long long before the doctors ever informed me it was there they accuse me of being delusional and suggest that i be either institutionalised or medicated with mind bending drugs .. its intollerable for me to be abused like this , but attendeance to psychiatrists has been like that for me
My current prescription has been authored by a medical doctor not a psychiatrist .. when it come to psychiatry i am closer to a scientologist than a terrific patient for them .. i find there premises to be wrong and there techniques crude destructive egotistical and utimately flawed .
To me they present simlar to a corrupted devil incarnate which like the human ego gone wrong feeds upon itself .
Thats part of why i suppose i strongly resist peo[ple who blankly suggst therapy without any specific reason and why i ask for concrete skills and abilities that a coach in life can offer me as a add person .. i have no intereest and will ultimately resist any person who wants to control and alter my 'psyche' since for me the psyche is a relationship i share with the natural forces of which i am contsructed and the connection i have with these forces is holy to me beyond words
I feel the coaching thing would from the sounds of it perhaps be better spproached from the point of view of say "Anthony Roberts" than from the general undirected corrupted point of view of a psychiatrist
Auntie its not that i have problems with anger and am impatient when people are trying to help me its that i am active in my resistance of people who want to control me and offer little to no justification for the directions thay are given for me to alter in some way my life .. thats why i personally appreciate the Add medication so very much because it offers me a objective no holds way of assisting me like i said to the doctor i do not want something that changes the way i think i want something that allows me to think .. there is a difference
some of the people here are actually coaches themselves hopefully they know what it is exactly they offer add people in particular .. i would appreciate it greatly if one of the actual coaches could post up about what it is ideally that they offer the add client
2tone38761.2271296296
The
following is part stream of consciousness part slightly edited.
First off, most of us our here are in just as much pain and need as you are. We understand you better than you think. Our challenge has only so many facets. If we do not explain things clearly or completely enough, please be understand and accept us and our challenges. Most of us on this site what help and want to help. We offer our best. We are not experts. We are just trying to make it through one more without screaming, without utter confusion, without a mind that cannot think a thought, without a connection to anyone and anything, witout being late, without working aten different projects and not completing any in a satisfactory manner.
Think
of who you asking. 
.
SOME IDEAS AND QUESTIONS:
I found out about a year and a half agoI have suspected for years that one of my challenges is add/adhd.I would love a coach but i am nor required by the "professionals.Ok, no coach so far.Have you read any books about add/adhd? The public library may have quite a few books.AuthorsDo a google search on "add" and the name of your town/city.Do a google search "add coach.” and the name of your town/city?Are you in talking therapy? If not, use the yellow pages and call psychologists in your area. Just for information. Ask your psychiatrist
to be clearer about what
he/she means by "coach" hear it from the horses mouth what the
horse's intention is.
I have a
wonderful therapist whom I see once a week for an hour. that is the structure
and extent of our relationship. I bring myself to her space. We talk. I would
love a coach but cannot afford one. I do not know why your psychiatrist told
you to get a coach. Therefore, i do not know in what capacity your psychiatrist
expects your coach to operate. I know my problems. Cannot organize my schedule,
my house, clothes, refrigerator, pens and pencil, i procrastinate horribly,
late all the time. I do not return calls however I am inundated by loneliness. I
have been fired from my last three jobs since 2002. In addition, i cannot substitute
teach until the board of education gets a letter from my psychiatrist stating
that I am fit to work with children. (You see i am also bi-polar and i had a
hypomania attack at school and was totally freaking out while being driven to
the hospital by the principal. I have a master degree in I work in a bookstore
for about 2/3 less pay than I had received while teaching. At least there is
not the stress i had in teaching. Wondering when i will totally space out in
front of the class and not know what we were working on. I taught English as a
second language to adult learners. I never get along with my bosses/
authority/i see too many glitches
A coach is usually more active in the daily life of the client than a
therapist. Therefore, i want a coach to see how I operate, see what i am doing
that is derailing me. What am I doing that is has helped me survive all these
years. I am almost 50 and was just diagnosed with ADHD after i had suspected
this for a long time. Whether my poor teaching performance…teaching.
A coach offers different strategies for accomplishing the big and the little in
life, whatever you big or little is. When my challenges seem surmountable, i
can call my coach. Analyze that happened to set off this current bout of
defeat. Where was i who was i with what was i doing then what would i want the
outcome to be, how can i discipline myself to achieve my desired goals. Whether
is it job hunting or keeping a job, or divorcing or looking for a partner to
hyper-focusing on supposed house cleaning and organizing so much that i do not
venture out into this beautiful winter day in Florida.
Offer life tips. Be there to coach in being a better functioning human being,
one who can enjoy rather than squandering my life away on worry over event that
i cannot control, discipline to take action in that will assist me in getting
closer to my goals.
baseball coach,
acting coach
life coach
i believe good parents coach their
children to be self-confindent, lead the towards making responsible decisions
on their lives. Help make healthy discussions in life. To be good to others.
A coach coaches us in structuring an
unstructured life. 
All I know is a coach helps you with your ADHD issues. What ever your biggest problems are they give you tools and ideas to help you. Only you know what your biggest problems are.
I'd say one of them is learning to be patient and maybe you could learn how to control your anger. And learning to do things to do to help yourself...Like go buy a book or search online rather than getting mad that people are snapping to attention because you want answers pronto.
Imac .. For what purpose ?
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2Tone, you stated that where you live, you are unlikely to find an ADHD coach. A good therapist might be able to help in the same way.
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Yes but do you get my significan question yet imac .. what exactly is the coach supposed to offer .. if i am to seek outr someone who can offer me something i need to kow what it is exactly they have to offer me
its a catch 22 and i need someone to explain to me the purpose of coaching and what it actuially is for and how it goes about achieving it ..
[QUOTE=ogram]
[QUOTE=2tone]
Imac .. For what purpose ?
[/QUOTE]
You know, you can always buy a book about adhd coaching.
Try this, "ADHD Secrets of Success: Coaching Yourself to Fulfillment in the business World" by Thom Hartmann. You can learn what skills you need to obtain, or you could get some one close to you to read it with you and they can help you by coaching you. Any one can do it, just as long as that person knows what to do, and the right way to do it.
Why wont you just tell me what it is yourselves?? .. i am not at all one of these poeple who lauches themselves on a direction in life on the vague notion or suggestion of another . in fact i know myself well enought to realise that i need definitive information before i take significant actins .. i havent allways been like this and it has been a learning experience to follow others advice ..but its the way i am now .. i have lost eveything in life already and am on my way back up . but unlike the cascade that was the downward travel my upward journey will be only on sure footing , so thank you for your advice but iso far just see them as deflections and attempts to steer me away from the answers i seek
surely the fundamentals of coaching cant be so obscure to you or so incredibly detailed that i have to go acquire a whole book to read about it
hell they never gave me a whole book to read before putting me on ritalin
this is the coaching board , surely someone here actually has a working knowledge of what its all about .. just tell me the basics .. im not looking for a significant other im looking for a persopn who can provide certain identifiable skills and structures
but what are they ??
rangikahuta ..(thank you for the question .. im a bit shy about the private stuff in public .. check your private messages )
.IMac38949.5043055556
2Tone,
Honestly, I have not seen many active or professional "coaches" post on this board besides our regular members who try to help and they are coaches in their own right.
In order to decide if a coach is for you or not you need to look at your life. What do you wish you could do better? Do you hold a job or do you wish you could hold a job or do you wish you could change jobs? What are your dreams? If you are accomplishing everything you want in your life and everything is great then you don't need a coach.
How to find the perfect coach for you will be difficult. Your very picky as you should be! As you pointed out you already have it in your mind a psychiatrist isn't for you. Your fear of being "controlled" is unfounded. No one can do that unless you let them. Going to the Scientologist's for help (I can't beleive I'm saying this) is out of the question because they'd want you to give up your medication. I wish I could help you more...just don't know what to suggest.
Thom Hartmann's book is great but it's not the same as having an actual ADD Coach. Part of what an ADD Coaches does is to help his/her client process their thoughts and understand them. Don't get me wrong education is key to managing ADD but a Coaching can help a person with ADD practice and apply skills.
Auntie .. you would have to walk in my boots .. they can lock you up and scew with your life severly with there officially irreversble opinions no matter how unfounded inccrrectly informed or maliciously constructed those opions are .. if they were merely other members of society then yes psychiatrists could have no objecvive effect greater than anyone else but as power players withing the legislation system they have effects way beyond them as individuals ..
People are weak and easily corrupted .. psychiatrists are no different . Persoanlly the psychaitrist i have met and observed since my universtity days have generally been nutters .. there personality complexes allways seemed far more advanced and pronounced than for average graduate students .. and as a profession they seem remarkaby insecure and at times psychiotic .. go figure ..
Best to be avoided imo and the earnest opinion of near every other sane person i know ..
.
Davinci56 Thank you for the link .. for some reason those pages gross me out with all the little bit of information that links to anopther page with a little bit of information which links to a.. and so on ..
I read most all of it thos ..
I've decided its a crock and that coaches have absolutely nothing more to offer ADHD people that any other guidance in life we can seek and or learn from .. i'll stck to the mainstream ones proven as the worlds most effective life coaches and avooid all this adhd coaches stuff which imo is a american load of baloney :)
Hello
I am a Fourty year old male whio has only been on 20mg SR Ritalin for 8 days .
My doctor strongly urges me to find a Coach . I told him a fib about someone i had in mind because i diodnt want to put any obstacle between me and my medical management . However there are issues
I am very isolated in many ways . After living with my condition for 40 years i have learnt ways to cope but these have by and large consisted of isolating myself from others . As a result i have currently no social or working life whatsoever . It is not correct for me to say that i am a Hermit because i interact with the world of man from a distance throught the computer , but it is just a fact that i do not have 'normal' interactions with other prople at all .
So for me when i am asked to find a 'coach' i have simply no idea of where to go or what to do . Its completely alien to me to seek confidence with a stranger . to be honest the idea itself is currently a hurdle that i have no idea of how to overcome .
I have time to get this sorted for the doctor , but i have to admitt that aslo have no idea specifically of why i need this other person in my life at all.
I am not saying that its not a good idea .. i am saying i have no idea exactly why it is a good idea .
Can you please introduce me to this concept of Coaching . Consider if you will that i know nothing about it whatsoever because in fact that is actually the case ..
Hi 2Tone-check out this webpage -
http://add.about.com/od/coaching/a/coaching.htm?nl=1
You do that!
2tonewhat/who are the "...mainstream ones proven as the worlds most effective life coaches..."?
hey divinci .. this person "Brian Tracy" has some excellent material .. i downloaded some of his stuff regarding controllign thinking 2 weeks ago and its really really very good imo (and i ve got a degree and postgrad in education so its fair to say i know what im talking about )
http://www.briantracy.com/catalog/bookschannel.asp?CategoryI D=43
Yes but do you get my significan question yet imac .. what exactly is the coach supposed to offer .. if i am to seek outr someone who can offer me something i need to kow what it is exactly they have to offer me
its a catch 22 and i need someone to explain to me the purpose of coaching and what it actuially is for and how it goes about achieving it ..
Lets see if this helps at all. A coach is someone who takes a peson and helps that person learn how to achieve at something that they want to improve. The coach will interact with the person to find out what they already know, they look for things like the way a person goes about doing what ever it is that person is seeking the coach to improve. With us ADDERS it would tend to be life skills. They would get to know your strengths and weaknesses. THen they would "help you" to find better ways to acheive the skills needed to get past the obsticals in your way. A coach would help you to evaluate yur actions and responses to evryday situations, they would help you to weed out the destructive behaviors and thought that have develpoed over a life time of trying to cope with a condition that others have concidered to be ones of personality rather than a physical origines. Over our lives we have been the subjects of a lot of negit6ive feed back from those around us who for lack of knowledge have labled us a the title of book I read most way called something like " So I'm Not Stupid, Crazy or Lazy" ( it may not be word pr word but the meaning is the same) Who we are now was created by the world we couldn't quite fit into no matter how hard we tried.
In order for us to improve we need to relearn a lot of things, I don't mean lose who we are and become puppets, what I mean is we need to unlearn all the self defeating and negitive things we have gathjered till now. All the medication can do is balance out our thoughts and actions bringing them into harmoney with the people we live around and our selves. It is up to us to seek the help we need to isolate to learn to control. So to pin point exactly what a couch would do for you would be impossable, it depends on your areas of difficuties. Me I can't get from point A to point B with out passing c through z first, a coach would work with me to help me develope skills/tricks to keep my self on track of what I am doing. A sorta guide to nudge me when I start to stray . Professional coaches would have learned proven ways of correcting the problems and how to individualize coping stratagies to counter them. Life coaches (I call them) are those around you who you can relate with and can trust and respect enough to allow them to constructively point out areas you need work in and then help you learn how to deal with them. They are not there to control you but to teach you and help you lhow to cope and succeed in life.