Distractions in the bedroom | ADHD Information
YES.
Bedroom is a big issue for me. They seem completely into the sexual act, and meanwhile I'm thinking "Huh, the TV is still on. Oh, check it out, they've got news about Hurricane Kitrina!" Or, "Oh wow, he's got some great books on his booksh- oh no, he noticed I'm not paying attention to him"
I've found that drunken sex is the only way to avoid this problem. In fact, I've noticed that I drink quite heavily when I'm not on ADHD medication (It calms me down and slows down my brain to the point where it can't run in circles around me), and that I hardly drink at all when I'm on it. Sex, I've found, it also much better when I'm on medication, precisely because I can stay in the moment and build up the experience.
Jess
i dont care as long as i get mines , 4 realI think Porns are hilarious to, they do absoutely nothing for me, a waste of time as far as i am concerned. But outside distractions, oh yeh, the TV has to be off, door locked, etc. if i start thingking about something other then the task at hand, its over! I have even, just like in a movie or a joke i have heard, looked at the paint design etc. on the ceiling, you name it, it doenst take much to distract me.
christi
Silance bothers me more. I like music while I clean/sleep. I am use to noises and it doesn't bother me. I was a hard sleeper but not since the kids came. Im definately with Sassee on this one, I need the excitement and passion, but we're the same, been together 10 years and its a little hard to role play when there's a three year old just down the hall!!!!Usually I'm not that easy to distract but in the bedroom.... I have to close my eyes otherwise I always keep looking on the ceiling "it really need to be repainted" or at his hair "he needs a cut, wounder how much it'll cost" and so on.The tv on, never. No matter what I do, if the tv is on I start watching and then everything else goes out of my mind.
I don't like that he-must-have-me-now-or-else....-feeling. That it self distract me to think "what did I do, what did I say" etc.
This is a real problem for me and it feels great I'm not alone but how do you do when you hyperfocus? Do yiou think of how it feels when he touches you or how you feel touching him or....? I simply can't concentrate on the feeling of his hand, I have to focus on where my hands are otherwise they can wonder of to correct the sheets of pillow or something.
/Kaks
I actually didn't realize this was an ADD thing because I didn't know I had ADD until I was 40.
I had been married for only a little while when my husband brought to my attention that it was not the greatest turn on for him when I started talking about other things in the middle of a romatic moment.
So, I just disciplined myself to not say anything. My mind still went to a million places, but I just wouldn't say anything.
Finally I learned how to hyperfocus during sex. I guess that is what I did. It makes sense. I really had to concentrate to not get distracted. Now it doesn't seem that hard. I am used to it.
annidagostini38760.9667939815Im the same when it comes to noise and visual stimuli also. The same goes with our daughter perhaps coming in at the wrong time, if the dog barks, a car door slams shut........
I even have a problem staying focused in the midst of things
We can solve my problem if we role play, then Im concentrating on playing a game so to speak so I can add any distractions into the scenario if you know what I mean. Its a lot of fun too.
Ahh...just a bit easier to be an ADHD gal:)three cheers for lack of mind reading!!!!!
.IMac38943.825162037
Hey all,
I will try to keep this clean, and hope others do too, but there is something I am wondering if anyone else is plagued with. It's distractions in the bedroom, you get all romantic and you can hear the tv in the background and the guy starts talking about sports or something, and bam, it interferes with what your are trying to do.
Or your listening to some romantic music, and the DJ comes on and starts talking about a concert the next day, and Bam, there goes my attention again. It has gotten so bad that at times I had to shut off all noise or I have a tough time.
Sometimes I have to shut my eyes to even, if there is some visual stimulation that is bothering me (other than the stuff that helps of course) I.E. headlights in the windows coming in on a busy road. I think my wife might think I am a loon, I shut off all the noise and light if I can.
It even goes beyond that, If I think my son is awake, I can't get it out of my head he will catch us in a compromising position. To be honest I fixed that, putting a big deadbolt on the bedroom door. My wife hates that I lock the door, but I can't get it through to her that if there is the possibility, I am going to keep thinking about it. Or if my wife starts talking about something other than something romantic, bam, it throws for a tailspin in the wrong direction.
LOL, now that I sound like a loon, (I could be) was just wondering if anyone else has this curse.
Dave2u4now38760.4832638889This problem is also VERY common in sexual abuse vicitms,
Oh I'm like that too, I don't like the TV on or the lights and I close my eyes. One little distraction sets off some unrelated train of thought and it stinks because I want to enjoy it. If it's really passionate like in a romance novel when the manly hero grabs the girl because he has to have her and like rips her bodice and stuff (swoon!), then I can focus because I like that emotional-passionate-he-can't-resist-my-feminine-w iles-he-must-have-me-now! kind of thing, but when it's slow and steady my mind starts wandering (unfortunately). But I understand it's kinda hard when you've been married for 10 years to be all crazy passionate every time....
Sometimes the whole thing just strikes me as funny - the looks on our faces and the things we say in the heat of passion and the contortions - oh it all just cracks me up and I have to really focus so I won't laugh - I don't want my DH to think I'm laughing at him because I'm definitely not. I think pornos are just hilarious too. Not that I have ever seen one. 
Gotta keep it clean.