Living in your head | ADHD Information

Okay, we all know that 90% of us ADDers live at least partially in our head. By that I mean whatever scenario, fantasy, invention, escapism, place that you go to whenever reality gets too boring or overwhelming.

How many of you have to have at least a little time out of each day to go there? Go there when you are driving the car, doing dishes, taking care of the crap of life.

What brought it up is this. This morning I'm getting the kids ready for school. My husband asks #1 son about what he has been reading. This launched a family discussion about what we read. Husband says that he would find reading something like the Hobbit or Lord of the Rings absolute torture, keeping the people, places, made up names straight incredibly difficult. Reading something factual like a manual on Microsoft Access would be a lot more interesting. (Yeah, my husband is 'special') . I told him that if I tried to read something like that before bed I would be sound asleep in 5 minutes only to wake up in 10 wide awake, or never able to fall asleep due to setting up a database in my head which would lead to what I'm going to do with said database, and on and on. To me reading a novel is like watching a movie. The words become just as vivid in my head as if I were watching a movie. It's incredibly relaxing, and along with a glass of wine I end up sleeping like a baby.

Then I end up thinking about the characters in the book at times during the next day as if they were real. It gives my brain something to play with when it's bored.

So, am I alone in this? This being a rich and varied fantasy life/imagination? I consider being able to do this absolutely necessary to my sanity.

Interesting. I hear of folks that won't go to movies or out to eat if they're alone. Or they get lonely real easy. ????? What is this 'lonely' they speak of?! That is one thing I don't get very easy. Maybe it's because I'm rarely alone? Something I won't admit to my husband. I like it when he goes out of town on business. The whole house runs smoother, the kids go to bed earlier AND I get the whole bed to myself! I love love love my husband but he's always so 'there'. It's almost like my conscious takes a break or my parents are out of town when he's gone.

I know - my husband will ask if I mind if he goes out of town with his brothers or friends and to hang out with the guys and I'm practically shoving him out the door. I think people think I'm like this cool, understanding wife but I secretly really just want that alone time. I love him too but, well, you know what I mean.

I also really like going to the movies alone, I can just get into it more when I'm by myself, but I hardly ever do this...I feel like people think I'm weird. Well, I am weird, but I don't want anyone to know about it.

Reality? Bah! Reality is for those without imagination. Yall's posts could have been mine. Alone time, books, time to myself, movies, quiet time, computer games, house to myself, surfing the net, time without distractions from others...

I think that time alone is the only time I am not at least a little on edge. When other people are around, even if they are in the next room, there is always part of my brain that has to be ready to shift my attention to them. I absolutely cannot fully relax without solitude.

Same goes for my fantasy universe - I get mad if someone distracts me with mundane reality and the overstimulation that comes with it. I get the same feeling if someone wakes me up from a good dream.

I was thinking the same thing, that when I'm startled from my thoughts its the same as being jerked awake from a good sound sleep. Its just plain rude!!

When I'm all alone I do have this inner calm except when I'm giving myself a hard time. "Do something. Isn't there something your suppose to do?"

I just started the book Driven to Distraction. I like true crime books especially Ann Rules books. I also have been reading John Grisham. I went to the library yesterday. I haven't been there in a while and I had an over due fine of . Can you believe it? Well I'm not really surprised anymore, still embarrassed, but not surprised!!

sorry i didn't see that post dave. i would have told you all sorts of stories how i do those things.

i don't know if it's the adhd, but i do have an abundance of inner or imagined conversations, a rich fantasy life(unfortunately most of the fantasies are interactions or conflicts with ppl. in my life, not the "good" kind! )

still mental after all these years...

seeker6338767.8313888889

Son of a...... I knew it.

you mean I am not the only one who does this...I always thought I was a bit weird inside and someone would find out.

Sometimes people will say "Whats the face for" and what they don't know I was running something over in my head in fantasy, and umm it leaked out to the real world a bit without me knowing..

I once asked aloud on a ADHD board a while ago if anyone else goes into fantasy all day, in daydream, or has diaglogs with themselves in their heads when they are upset or bored. I was told nope, but Maybe I have something else wrong..

I felt like, oh, okay, I will just crawl back into the corner now...sorry.

related question.

How many of you, while living in your head, experience kind of a alter-ego/different persona? Not like multiple personalities or schizophrenia. It's the same you, just a different you, sometimes maybe a darker personality or easier-going. I hesitate who I tell this to cause you end up with weird looks like, "babe, you need to get some serious mental help".

It's almost like your brain has too much stuff going on for just one persona.

I believe who we are inside is who we really are, and the persona others see on the outside, well...it's not quite who we truly are...because we (or at least I do) have difficulty communicating to others in real face-to-face time what I truly feel, see, think, who I AM. KWIM?

Also, since AD/HD people are extremely visual, many of us learn better visually, rather than reading instructions, etc. So I understand why so many of you (us) prefer a good book, a movie, or even a fantasy to reality.

I LOVE the Diana Gabladon books. I have read them all. You have to get the Outlandish companion too. It tells how she came up with some of the story lines, the characters and alot of the real history behind the stories. She has a new one out now too, I can't remember the name but it just came out.

And PietaPan, back off Jamie Fraiser, he's all mine!!!! I've been having a wild love affair with him since 1996.

Strange as it seems, words do much more for me than images do. Which one would think odd for someone with ADHD(inatentive) Most ADDers are hands on and visual, but it would seem that words do alot for many of us. My hubby likes to enjoy the "adult" media and has tried to get me to take a peek. It does NOTHING for me. But give me a nice steamy novel with lots of other side plots and such and I'm right where I need to be. Maybe it's because with ADD we have so many pistons firing at once that a visual just stimulates that one part of our brain and leaves all the others wanting. Where reading stimulates all parts of the brain, including visual.

As for imagination, I worry about our kids today. All of their toys make noises, do ya'll recall when we were kids and you have to make your baby doll cry, your car noises, your plane noises. How about having to make the phone ring noise? I considered that a major accomplishment when I finally learned to make that noise. Point is our imaginations were stimulated because we had to make the noises, we had to imagine what it would sound like, or make the things go ourselves. We had to set up scenerios etc. Today's kids have toys that ring, cry, have engine sounds, go all by themselves and on and on. When you look at all the accomplishments that our generation has made because we could imagine and think big.....it makes me wonder what's in store for our children in a day and age where everything is done for them.

I only read when it is an assignment - or when I'm reading to my kids like I'm supposed to, to be a good mom. I rarely read for enjoyment. When I do get caught up in a series, I skip around to the back to see how the parts that I like turn out. I don't like reading really big books.

I'm an English major, mind you, I love to write, but only do it when I take a class or something. It is too bad. I won a scholarship for my writing.

I need to keep trying and get going with my writing this summer when I don't teach.

I'm not sure my opinion is one your looking for, as my not dx.

I do this all the time, this fantasy world. While I'm driving it is just scary. I've run though stop signs and red lights, a deer right in front of me and I didn't see him until he was RIGHT there. Driving past roads and places I need to go. Its almost like waking up and then I have to look around at land marks to figure out where I am, a moment of panic, where am I?

I think this is the only thing that makes dishes bearable, to slip off into my mind and then WOW, look almost done.

I'm with you on the reading. Love to read, it is like a movie playing in my head. As soon as I finish one I pick up another. This drives my husband nuts, I'm not sure why but I tell him the same thing, I need this, it keeps me sane.

Do you get frustrated when your having one of your moments in your head or into your book and someone interrupts you? This is very irritating to me, and happens all the time in my world, with 4 kids, hubby and 2 dogs. When I'm startled from my thoughts its like What!! What is so important? And I just want to go back in my mind where I was, but I can't remember where that was. I liked what I was think about, just can't remember what it was??

Oh yeah. It's irritating. Mooooommmm! Come hhhhheeeeerrreee! I try and remain calm but if it's at a 'particularly thrilling' moment in the book then I get a little testy!

What are you reading now?

I've just started the 3rd in a series of the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. History, adventure, time travel, men in kilts, romance, men in kilts, action, did I mention the men in kilts?

Oh yes yes yes! I love to read and it's a movie in my head too. Most of the time I don't like seeing movies based on books I've read because they rarely match the fantasy movie I've made up in my head and it messes it up for me.

And yeah, the characters become kinda real to me too and I think about them...I get so mad at Scarlett and fell in love with Rhett Butler for example...

Yes I feel I HAVE to do this, too, I need it...it's weird because when we go on vacation, the family is together the whole time and I start to feel stressed because I can't be alone to daydream or fantasize. I feel guilty about this, I should be enjoying my family (and I do - mostly) but I always start to feel desperate for some alone time. Of course, I keep those thoughts and feelings to myself though.

Right now I'm reading a historical fiction book about Anne Boleyn - I think that time period is so fascinating.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty anyone? we read that story in class and I was thinking "what's so weird/bad about that?" but i kept that to myself of course. I'm with you guys, being a space cadet is the cool thing to do. and I agree with what you said about the toys today diffy, it concerns me sometimes. But then again, i work with kids doing gymnastics everyday, and their is no shortage of imagnination to be seen yet, regardless of the fact that some of my 7 year olds have cell phone, ipods, and psp's...sad I know, my kid won't have that stuff until he/she can buy it for himself, but hey, I think the imagination thing will be fine!

let's hope at least

-Tyler

Hey tyler!!! I read that years ago. I really didn't get it at first,,,,thought his daydreams were real. lol...you probably have experience with thinking imagination was real, after all you're TYLER D!!!! Or just Brad Pitt Question

Yahooooo fight fight fight. hey now, i'm not QUITE that schizo

haha, one of the greatest books/movies ever though. and with the thinking imagniation is real, do you guys ever forget if you actually told someone something/did something that you need to do or if you just did it in your head? cuz that happens to me a lot, and then people get mad at me because i never do do what i'm supposed to, or i bring it up again...it's kind of frustrating [QUOTE=ADD&Proud]

related question.

It's almost like your brain has too much stuff going on for just one persona.

[/QUOTE]
It's my 'game face'. I am soooo different when I'm on a call (I'm an EMS professional), that newbies freak out at the first party they see me at. I love it. Not them freaking out, but being in the context where my game face goes on. Like it's automatic pilot, but super focused, hyper professional. I get compliments frequently. You'd never know I was ADHD. You here would never recognize me.
[QUOTE=ADD&Proud]

How many of you have to have at least a little time out of each day to go there? Go there when you are driving the car, doing dishes, taking care of the crap of life.

Then I end up thinking about the characters in the book at times during the next day as if they were real. It gives my brain something to play with when it's bored.

So, am I alone in this? This being a rich and varied fantasy life/imagination? I consider being able to do this absolutely necessary to my sanity.

[/QUOTE]
I do this b/c it's there to do. I've always done it. I do it with movies, books, experiences, ideas. E.g. I'm reading LOTR right now (for like the 20th time). Although nicknamed 'Legolas' by my peers, I've always preffered being Stryder. As a kid I was 'Sarge' (Combat) or Captain Kirk. As an adult, I'm Davidornado...

As for sexual fantasies,

I don't have them.

I live them.

Then relive them.

Amazing what you can do after a 6 year celibacy (involuntary)

I wonder what a 6 year cialibacy is gonna be like?

do you guys ever forget if you actually told someone something/did something that you need to do or if you just did it in your head? cuz that happens to me a lot, and then people get mad at me because i never do do what i'm supposed to, or i bring it up again...it's kind of frustrating[/QUOTE]

YES, YES, YES, I do that all the time. I will think about something and later when I think of it again I will seriously not remember if i actually did it or just thought about it. I will have to go back and check to see if I did it or not. Sometimes I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I can't clearly recall having done it and sometimes I find that, nope I didn't do it.

And telling other people things, I'll stop and try to remember if I've already had this conversation with them.

This is very frustrating for me, always running around checking on myself, doubting myself. AHHHh...so nice not to be alone on this!

I like reading too, but sometimes its really hard, my imagniation gets going and it doesn't take long for me to not even be in the same book, or on the same planet any more... meanwhile, my eyes are still "reading" and 4 pages later i'm trying to figure out how I got there. this makes reading rather difficult, and my english grades suffer, a lot. any way i can tame my wandering mind?

Sorry Tyler, can't help you there! I do the same, can't read textbooks, manuals, or any non-fiction books. I have self-help books I'd like to read but can't because like you said, I will realize that although I've been turning pages I have no clue what I've been reading.

Give me a good fiction book and leave me alone because that's all I want to do, is read.

It's ok, I'll figure it out eventually, I hope, until then I will just continue to refine my skills of making stuff up on tests to fill in those skipped pages...i've gotten pretty good at that over the years

yeah, i live in my head waaayyyy too much.

i have a hard time reading. it has to catch my fancy, and either be short, or part of a hyperfocus event. like reading 400 pp. in 24 hrs. movies are easier, and shorter.

it's like my friend said a few years back..one day she told me 'your problem is you're too mental'!

LOL! Yeah ain't that the truth with all of us! We're mental!I love your Henry James quote.

I am so intellectually isolated and alone reading is what keeps me sane as well. I am also very happy to be alone.

I am a Civil War history geek and like really good literary fiction - Cormac McCarthy, Faulkner, heavy intellectual, philosophical stuff. Entertains me to no end.

I'm actually reading Henry James right now, more Sarte or is it Sartre, I dunno. I've read at least some of most of the "great" writers.
I totally agree...when I read it is like the movie version is going on in my head...I love to imagine things...What is it you don't care about Rayray? i just dont care

Im on the last book of the Diana G series. Be careful, its addictive!!! I am so in love with Jamie that I would rather have taken the book into bed than my husband

Ive actually got three of the women I work with reading them too.

Ive always made up stories in my head, I thought everyone did it. What a shame for people that dont

soo...this whole quit taking english idea...I like it, but I also think graduating high school would be a pretty good idea. I'll have to think about it

Okie Dokie - gettin' a little wierd here! LOL!! Just kidding - I feel much the same way.

The "inner voice" that usually is one for other non-ADHDers is commonly multiple for us. Either that or it's SO fast it seems that way.

During my worst ADHD periods it's like a chorus of differing thoughts and voiced urges. I saw the commercials for ADHD meds that describe our mind like a TV that keeps flipping channels. I see it more like a million TVs - all at different channels and impossible not to try and watch them all at once. If you ignore them someone keeps upping the volume until it screams at you. I think schizoid diseases must be like this but you forget they are you and think they are other people.

I used to think I was crazy for the inner dialogue I had until I heard about ADHD. It's so common that it has to be a very common thread in us all.

They are still there but with my meds/therapy they are a dull whisper most days. I get one inner voice like everyone but it's mostly positive and helpful now. The other one - the devil on my shoulder you may say - is bound and gagged so I can ignore most times. That's so nice.

[QUOTE=ADD&Proud]

Okay, I'm going to admit something here. My other persona... well, have you ever seen that show 'La Femme Nikita"?, well... I'm Nikita; cool, distant, under complete and total control, nothing bothers her, but very very dangerous. There, I said it. I feel better.

[/QUOTE]
Well, in that case, I'll be 'Le Homme, Boris"

Except I wear cool shades.

I am reading a book about a professor and his daughter and they are so alive, intellectual, open, thinking and genuinely caring I wish I could live with THEM in my head.

I identify with the different persona in the one head. Ive wondered that about myself for as long as I can remember, but I also know that's the sort of thing that pricks doctor's ears up too. I definately have a darker side that like different music, drugs, alcohol, tattoos. She's pretty well in a straightjacket these days, although every now and again I can hear her begging me to let her come out and play.

The other ego shakesa her head and prefers to chase butterflies and hunt for faeries at the bottom of the garden.

No wonder my hubby has a hard time dealing with me at times. Its hard for me

[QUOTE} do you guys ever forget if you actually told someone something/did something that you need to do or if you just did it in your head? cuz that happens to me a lot, and then people get mad at me because i never do do what i'm supposed to, or i bring it up again...it's kind of frustrating[/QUOTE]

I do that, and worse, I'll start telling someone about this really funny thing that happened, and they just look at me with this incredulous stare. When I'm finished, they'll say uh, yeah I know, I was THERE. OOPS

[QUOTE=Tylerd88]I like reading too, but sometimes its really hard, my imagniation gets going and it doesn't take long for me to not even be in the same book, or on the same planet any more... meanwhile, my eyes are still "reading" and 4 pages later i'm trying to figure out how I got there. this makes reading rather difficult, and my english grades suffer, a lot. any way i can tame my wandering mind?[/QUOTE]
Quit taking english classes.
[Quote}ADD&Proud wrote: