hello.......I am Jada and I am hoping to find a good forum because the one I was used to has closed and I feel so lost.I felt like I knew the people personally.anyway I want to briefly explain my situation....Ok I am23 and have add,have been diagnosed since I was 9.I have a very strong and indepth case of it.When I 1st started getting treatment,I did'nt like the though that I "had something"so every day my mom would hand me my ritalin and straight under the couch it went,well about 2 years later mom moved the couch and wellI got busted.After that I went untreated all through high school and believe me I struggled so bad,I would'nt wish what i went through on anyone but enough of that. Now I am on ritalin 60mgs a day and it helps fairly good I was about to stop it because it caused severe insomnia but thats fixed now and now heres the problem,the reason I posting,I need some advice ASAP.....i have always had what i call an addictive personality for instance 4 yrs ago after a bad accident I became dependent on pain pills,I never thought I'd overcome it but here Iam clean for 1 year.My ritalin was fine for the first year i took it until about 3 mths ago I took a extra half with my dose and there came that dreaded euphoria...now i can't control then,I take more and more and more until I have none for the rest of the month.Anybody go through something like this?have any suggestion of what I can do.....is adderol and dexidrine the same as ritalin?Sorry so much rambling. I am really looking forward to your replies.Thanks,Jada
Jada,
Hon, Let me say that I have been sober for 24 years, and what you are discribing is called ADDICTION!!!! This will only lead you to have to deal with Addiction and ADD. Are you in a 12 step program? Maybe a sponser would be helpful. Someone you can develop a relationship with and be accountable to? It worked for me. I am a 46 yr old mom of a 13 yr old boy, I am old enough to be your mom (easily), so keep in mind I am giving you this advice from my heart. Stimulant meds may not be for you!! I would love to hear from you again, and I wish you all the best. Welcome to the board.
Lynn
First I want to thank everyone for the replys and I apologize for taking so long to get back with you.It is so nice to get advice from people who halfway understand where I'm coming from.I want to explain a little more of situation,I have been seeing the same Dr. since I was 9 on and off,he knows about my addiction problems and everything else in fact he says the reason I always got addicted to everything I tried was because I was untreated and self medicating.All I've ever wanted was to feel normal and compfortable in my own skin and I still don't.I have tried the non stimulant add meds and they do absolutly nothing for me.What makes me so disgusted with myself is that for a year I was actually getting better....I took 3 20mg ritalins a day and it really helped,I still had to deal with some symptoms of the add but the ritalin made it easier but what went wrong was I started taking a night course in college and i usually only go days but on my school nights my meds would be completly wore off before i even got there so one night I took the extra dose and guess what.......well you all know what happened next.Not only did I get that buzz,I bypassed the part of my day when the meds wear off and you don't feel so great so I started rationalizing why I should take another and another and now I'm out of control.I so don't want to go through an addiction again.Will life ever be simple?Is anyone with ADD completly at peace with thereself? My Dr. says I have the worst he's ever seen.He also seems to think that it's better to take a few extra ritalin than for me to be untreated and become completly wreckless again. I 've got to do something.What other meds are there?I've tried straterra and ritalin.Would adderoll or dexidrine be the same as ritalin or worse?How have ya'll managed to be okay?Why am I like this?My mind tortures me.....I can rationalize and lie to myself so much I actually believe the BS sometimes.Anyway if anyone wants to talk my email is brandy6347@aol.com.Now everyone probally really thinks I'm crazy but somethings gotta give,I'm tired of this. & nbsp; & nbsp; JadaDo you know someone who could hold your meds for you and only give you a few days worth, a week at the most, at a time. It would have to be someone you trusted to not give them to you until it was time for them. You would also have to be able to trust them to not take them himself or sell them. Hopefully, once you got used to not having that euphoria, you would have more self control.great advice barb, i would agree - if you cant control yourself, admit to someone you trust about your problems and ask for help. Dont let it ruin your lifeJada, talk to your doctor ASAP to find out what to do with your situation. I took ritalin when I was a child, but it was stopped when I was a teen, I'm on Adderall and have been for the past 5 months. At first I had that dreaded Euphoria where I was so nice that people told me they were getting sick to their stomaches from me being so sweet. That was simply the meds getting into my system. I've had to take an extra half a pill from time to time and I don't have the problem of Euphoria any longer. My doctor knows that from time to time I'll take the extra half pill, he has no problem with it as only I know when I'm going to need the extra meds for concentration or for a very stressful situation to keep me in check so to speak. I would talk to your doctor ASAP...maybe there is something that he can give you that you won't get "hooked" on. Hope this helps...
You are not crazy and I am sure no one on this board thinks so. It sounds like you have ADD and also have an addiction problem. That makes it tough.
Forget about asking the question "why am I like this". Most of us have enough problems without adding a lot of guilt on top of everything else. We don't get to pick our DNA nor our childhood environment. So don't beat yourself up trying to make sense out of the "why" question (which we can never answer anyway). All we can do is deal with the reality of what is here and now.
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER BECAUSE THEY ARE 100% TRUE:
- YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!
- NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOREVER!
- YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL FEEL BETTER AND BE HAPPIER IN THE FUTURE!
This is NOT a permanant situation. There is a solution, and you will find it.