ADULT? | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=INaBOX]Hmm, I've never taken the words "Keep in Mind" offensively. I take it as meaning: "In a different perspective" .. not saying it's either right or wrong. I also think we have to be objective with our words and read just as objectively. That way no one gets misunderstood. We all come from different experiences so we're likely to have differing opinions. That's really the reason why I come here - to hear what those opinions are and filter them as best I can so I can apply them to my own situation. [/QUOTE]
I think you missed the entire point. But that's ok, i can not expect every one to understand how it comes across. Live and let live.
how many times does the differnt perspective have to be put out there? that's what i was getting at, that's all. 
I'd say we should KEEP IN MIND
that this is an annonymous internet chat board.If I call you a nasty name, or you me, does it really matter all that much? Really?
No one here knows me in any real way at all, none of my good qualities nor bad.
How much should I credit a personal insult towards myself?
I give them little notice and in fact have often enjoyed little wars, arguments, harsh discussions, flames, whatever. I have provoked others, others have provoked me.
I'm an impulsive and talkative cat. I say what comes to mind.
I recently frequented another adhd-themed board. It had strict little rules and felt like I was being watched over by a schoolmarm or something which made me behave badly, harshly even at times.
I prefer a few arguments in the open spaces then a strictly controlled discussion in a stuffy small room.
I know others disagree and power to them.
Hmm, I've never taken the words "Keep in Mind" offensively. I take it as meaning: "In a different perspective" .. not saying it's either right or wrong. I also think we have to be objective with our words and read just as objectively. That way no one gets misunderstood. We all come from different experiences so we're likely to have differing opinions. That's really the reason why I come here - to hear what those opinions are and filter them as best I can so I can apply them to my own situation. PS - y'all seem to be speaking of a particular thread here?
PPS - Freedom of expression always causes arguments don't it?
Guilty as charged, and not offended, Ogram.
I don't have any problems with people who post opinons that are different or that I don't agree with. If they have something different to offer, who are we to tell them what works or doesn't? If anyone has something genuine, please share it - constructively and from personal experience.
People that attempt to "scare" or manipulate others into seeing things their way should share on the debate board. I am getting really tired of the "meds are horrible" posts where the person then turns all nicey nicey with an alternative treatment of some kind. Starting any post with an attack on someone else's method of treatment is just plain wrong. If they start out throwing punches, and whine about the result - I don't have much sympathy.
[QUOTE=ogram][QUOTE=INaBOX]Hmm, I've never taken the words "Keep in Mind" offensively. I take it as meaning: "In a different perspective" .. not saying it's either right or wrong. I also think we have to be objective with our words and read just as objectively. That way no one gets misunderstood. We all come from different experiences so we're likely to have differing opinions. That's really the reason why I come here - to hear what those opinions are and filter them as best I can so I can apply them to my own situation. [/QUOTE]
I think you missed the entire point. But that's ok, i can not expect every one to understand how it comes across. Live and let live. how many times does the differnt perspective have to be put out there? that's what i was getting at, that's all. [/QUOTE]
I understood you clearly. The more information we get from varying experiences though, the better don't you think? Also, we can't assume everyone is on the same page. If it doesn't apply to you, don't worry about it. I'm sure there are plenty of newbies that could use a different perspective. No one is undermining anyone (with this regard). Having said that (and most importantly), I have seen a lot of attacking going around in here. What's the point? Nothing is ever gained by pettiness.
I agree that we should let everyone speak, without attacking; at the same time, however, I think people need to be respectful when they post about treatments that can be interpreted as, "Parent, it's all your fault! If you had done this or that and not this or that, your kid wouldn't have ADHD." KWIM? I think most of us are here looking for answers, and we have all been told, in one way or another, by someone or another, that if we had just done a better job, then we wouldn't need to come here.I agree. Keep in mind though, the reason why some of these 'cures' aren't recommended by doctors on a larger scale is because there are so many different underlying causes of ADHD .. and most often are misdiagnosed. Also, we're all built differently. What works for one person may not work for another. It doesn't mean it doesn't work. It's hard for doctors to suggest alternative methods when they so often don't spend enough time with their patients to know which methods to suggest. They practise medicine so they're going to recommend medications.
Lets just all be respectful. Our plates are full enough as it is. Just my two cents worth.
Sadly,
S mom
I 'Keep in mind' but I don't really have to, because every one is constantly telling some one to "keep in mind", including myself
. Why do we all have the urge to say that, any way?
we all know it's just a way to make us sound authoritative to others and inject our opinions on the unsuspecting poor soul that don't agree with a point of view. And a pathetic way to try to be politically correct, which it is not. I am going to make an effort to NOT say that any more. It is rather rude and automatically puts some one on the defense when you think about it, and I am sorry for having ever said that to any one here.
All of us are here for a reason, the reason differs from each of us, but that doesn't mean we don't think about what has been said in the past. I know I don't need to remind any one that I am an eye or that I'm from the United State of Texas, or that I am over opinionated more often than not. Gosh, I hope I never say that again, the more I type the more wrong those three little words really are. The put people on the defense. 
which is just sad.
Man, I am glad I cleared that up in my head (I'm a freak, lmao). See, I guess I need to join the Special Olympics now.
I have a few points to make. I want every one and/or any one that reads this to know I mean this in a very loving and caring way. Stop being so defensive about every thing. I might seem rude saying this, but come on. This is a place we ALL should feel safe at having a difference of opinion. If we don't like it, we should read on. I have read some really vile things on the alt board that i find revolting, but i moved on. I don't want to argue, but my concern is this: I will NEVER refer any one to this forum. The reason is simple and you all know it, so i don't need any flack over it. And I know for a fact that many others feel the same way. I don't agree with some of the so called "cures" for adhd. My reason is this, if it really worked every dr would be pushing them instead of meds or therapy. That doesn't make me right or wrong. It's just my opinion. No one should be dammed for feeling a certain way, and if they are the attacker is in the wrong. But, just because some one doesn't agree and questions any med, alt med or opinion, that doesn't mean that it should be an all out war. I want people to feel free to ask why I have some thing that works. And if they have some thing that works, great i want to hear about it. Now, some times people go overboard with their opinions and force them on me, which i don't appreciate, but I should have the right to say "I'm done with that, move on already".
I'm off my soap box, now.
Wow- maybe it's too early in the morning for me, but I'm confused! I've never been treated rudely when I've had a difference of opinion on these boards. Although I do not frequent the debate board either. Most of my posting has been on the adult, med, or children board & everyone has been very supportive . I have learned so much from the people here and have referred this board several times to people I know. Just a question? If you are so unhappy with the way you are treated here, why come back? ( Not a rude question just really wondering). If I got the same feedback I think I'd say f**k it and move on. As far as the spelling thing goes, it sucks that there is no sp check on here, I usually copy and paste my post in WORD, spell check it and then paste it back on here. ADDers are terrible spellers, isn't it the content that counts anyway? I'm suprised so many have had a negative experiance-I guess I have just been lucky so far...
One of the worst attacks I saw recently was when someone actually quoted another person and then corrected his spelling errors!
[/QUOTE]So, you agree with Anti-Adhd?
[QUOTE=IMac] [QUOTE=bepatient]
One of the worst attacks I saw recently was when someone actually quoted another person and then corrected his spelling errors!
[/QUOTE]
So, you agree with Anti-Adhd?
[/QUOTE]
About the spelling...I went to a SPED conference a few months ago conducted by Peter Wright, who is one of the top SPED lawyers in the country. He said that when he meets a parent who says her child is ADHD but does not have any LD's, he asks the parent how well the child writes because writing LD's and ADHD so commonly co-exist. I also know from researching my son's dyslexia that 35% of kids dxed with dyslexia have comorbid ADHD/ADD. Soooooo, criticizing each other's spelling and grammar errors can be pretty cruel, considering.
I totally agree, Lillian. By editing Anti-Adhd's posts, I was able to defuse my anger about what was printed. Being rude to hate mongers? Guilty as charged. [QUOTE=ogram]I will NEVER refer any one to this forum.[/QUOTE]Ogram, there are members of Adhdnews who post on other message boards or forums and display the same temperament wherever they go. It isn't just this site.
[QUOTE=The Resistance!]
I recently frequented another adhd-themed board. It had strict little rules and felt like I was being watched over by a schoolmarm or something which made me behave badly, harshly even at times.
I prefer a few arguments in the open spaces then a strictly controlled discussion in a stuffy small room.
I know others disagree and power to them.
[/QUOTE]
I really agree with this - it's important to keep this board open.
I have been attacked at times because I have different opinions, and different experiences.
I have also refused to back down to someone on an occassion who claimed that she had abused her partner because of her add. Then I was severely attacked for not coddling this person who had claimed to abuse her partner because of add.
Additionally, I've been on an add board where someone seemed to think that she needed to mother me - and let me know that she thought my posts were not appropirate. Truth is that I thought her posts were inappropriate but when I told her that - she acted outraged.
I value the exchange of information but I don't need someone telling me that my legitimate opinions don't belong on an opinion board.
In any case, imo, a free open board is important for the opportunity to grow.
One of the worst attacks I saw recently was when someone actually quoted another person and then corrected his spelling errors! There's no spell ck. on this forum. I know I'm a horrible speller, but I also know that that doesn't make me stupid. That was plain rude. I sure hope noone critisizes my speling or who nose what I'd do 
.
Us ADHDers with the H can still be impulsive even while medicated. Type and post before fully thinking it through. Just like saying something impulsive. . We don't always know where the line of offense is. Especially those who may be co-morbid Asperger's or PDD-NOS. I'm sure there's a line that shouldn't be crossed but it's also at a different place for different people.
(just a different perspective)
[QUOTE=Reisa]I don't have any problems with people who post opinons that are different or that I don't agree with. If they have something different to offer, who are we to tell them what works or doesn't? If anyone has something genuine, please share it - constructively and from personal experience.
People that attempt to "scare" or manipulate others into seeing things their way should share on the debate board. I am getting really tired of the "meds are horrible" posts where the person then turns all nicey nicey with an alternative treatment of some kind. Starting any post with an attack on someone else's method of treatment is just plain wrong. If they start out throwing punches, and whine about the result - I don't have much sympathy.
[/QUOTE]
My feelings exactly.
the dog- i remember the thread that you were supposedly 'attacked' for refusing to 'coddle' a poster that had choked her partner in a rage.
i made several lengthy posts challenging you there.
my posts had nothing to do with your refusal to 'coddle' her. nor, if i remember, did anyone else's.
the issue i kept harping on, was that this woman knew what she did was wrong, and came here for help and advice. you wouldn't stop insisting that she be reported to the authorities.
no one coddled her, told her what she did was ok. no one said she shouldn't feel guilt or remorse over the incident. not one person justified her actions in any way.
i felt you were overly vindictive, and i told you so. i challenged your attitude, not you. i felt like you were attacking her, and not her mistake.
this forum is an awesome place. i can contest, or agree, or emapathise with so many people. sometimes all in the same post. i love being able to discuss and debate.
i think most people here do the same. it's about the ideas. i see little in the way of personal attack. when it does occur, the community here almost always goes after the attacker.
lastly, i would recommend this site to others. there is so much here. i stumbled across this site and have been back on a regular basis, b/c of the people here that have helped me SO MUCH by sharing their experiences and thoughts.
my mum always said 'if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen'. if you're not willing to subject your thoughts to scrutiny, don't post them. if you don't agree with what i say, or believe me wrong, speak up. or shut up and move on.
i think that is how most of us are. that is why i can wholeheartedly recommend this site to others.
p.s.- my statement about getting out of the kitchen is a general statement, and not directed to the dog, or anyone else in particular.
personally, i don't have to agree with someone to respect them. there are so many grey areas in life, that maybe not everyone needs to adopt the same shade as their own.
[QUOTE=psychgirl]
Just a question? If you are so unhappy with the way you are treated here, why come back? ( Not a rude question just really wondering). [/QUOTE]
In my case, the person that was acting like a school marm rarely posts on this board anymore, and does not p.m. me anymore at all.
I have not really been attacked - in a major way - for having a different opinion on this board for a long time.
However, imo, I think it's important to keep the board open to prevent another person from becoming the school marm of others.
[QUOTE=Auntie][QUOTE=Reisa]
I don't have any problems with people who post opinons that are different or that I don't agree with. If they have something different to offer, who are we to tell them what works or doesn't? If anyone has something genuine, please share it - constructively and from personal experience.
People that attempt to "scare" or manipulate others into seeing things their way should share on the debate board. I am getting really tired of the "meds are horrible" posts where the person then turns all nicey nicey with an alternative treatment of some kind. Starting any post with an attack on someone else's method of treatment is just plain wrong. If they start out throwing punches, and whine about the result - I don't have much sympathy.
[/QUOTE]
My feelings exactly.
Mine too. This thread was started because of a posting of a very different treatment and that person was attacked as trying to sell a product first. Then it was seen that the psychologist who did this treatment seemed to have something against parents who smoke. It went down hill from there with the person being labeled as ignorant and etc., etc. That person really didn't agree with the psychologist on this. But that was not enough. They were labeled anyway. It was not really a case at all of someone downing someone else that started the rant. And there in lies the difference between just disagreeing and attacking the person with that extra special shark attitude that sounds like the person got up on the wrong side of the bed and was just looking for someone to run over. LOL
Some times I think people bring in issues that really have nothing to
do with this board and it amounts to displaced anger, just like
anti-adhd is doing. My attitude is generally to ignore them
because they are off on some tangent and can't hear, see, or feel
anything about their own problems but they just gotta spill out this
rot that makes me feel like saying "Who cares!" They are a dead
give away, we've seen them a million times. But I wouldn't
recommend this site to anyone who was sensitive and has a different
treatment that they think is successful. They can't even
post on the alts board without attracting somebody's displaced
suspicions. As for me, I know what it is and can shrug off
personal attacks. They are are funny because they are too
blind to smell their own stink.I'll probably get attacked for this, but just watch me not care. By the way I smoke and didn't go into a blind rage about it. It's just somebody's different opinion.
cynthiatweedle38767.553599537 What a great thread orgram. The purpose of this thread is to create unity, not division and a basic understanding of the premise of this message board. There are different folders on this message board and for those who are into the art of debate, there is a debate folder. It indeed is human nature to disagree with others but we can respectfully agree to disagree. This should serve as a soft place to fall. Not a place where someone is looking to have a good slam fest. There are so many newbies that come here looking for support, validation of their feelings and advice. Creating intentional conflict or causing division amongst posters certainly is not the definition of support. Parents coming here are looking for support, not a good fight because they are fighting the system everyday of their lives to provide their children with quality of life. If someone voices an opinion, they shouldn't get slammed because the other person doesn't agree with them nor should a line be drawn with others by taking sides. This creates division and conflict and fuels an argument. We all have a right to voice our opinions but experience is the best teacher. There is no right or wrong answers as what works for one may not work for the other but sharing information is what leads is to making informed decisions. Sharing information is very different than bullying people to validate your claim. Take what you need from here and leave the rest behind. If someone has a gripe with a particular poster, take it up in a pm. For those who use scare tactics and/or enjoy being argumentative to drive a point home raises a big red flag and ultimately destroys their credibility. We are trying to teach our children socially appropriate behavior so lets all be Adults and live by our words.
Checking/correcting spelling is OK. I'm likely too lazy to do it.
Using "you can't spell so your thoughts don't count" isn't a good come back.
I'm not saying anyone has done this or not, didn't read the posts mentioned. I have seen it done elsewhere though.
As the person who originally criticised controlled boards, I thought I'd better comment on that again.
I wasn't talking about Barb's board. I didn't know she has one.
I also defend controlled and moderated and censored boards. I don't like them in general but you have the right to create whatever comfort level you want on your own board and I and everyone else can take it or leave it.
Your right to control your board is YOUR right to free speech, I think?
I just let the children play on my board. I only spank for really really blatant spam or something that grossly offends my personal morals (like kiddie porn). Or threats of violence.
I control, moderate and censor as well, just very lightly.
Woo Hoo! Thanks Barb! 
cynthia,
when you go to post there is a little box up above on the far right, says ABC and a check mark under it. Click on that and it takes you to a page that shows you how to down load a free spell checker. After you do that you can access it via the ABC icon box, your tools menu or right clicking your mouse.
[QUOTE=seeker63]the dog- i remember the thread that you were supposedly 'attacked' for refusing to 'coddle' a poster that had choked her partner in a rage.
i made several lengthy posts challenging you there.
my posts had nothing to do with your refusal to 'coddle' her. nor, if i remember, did anyone else's.
the issue i kept harping on, was that this woman knew what she did was wrong, and came here for help and advice. you wouldn't stop insisting that she be reported to the authorities.
no one coddled her, told her what she did was ok. no one said she shouldn't feel guilt or remorse over the incident. not one person justified her actions in any way.
i felt you were overly vindictive, and i told you so. i challenged your attitude, not you. i felt like you were attacking her, and not her mistake.
[/QUOTE]
I disagree with the things you have written above.
However, I do agree that this a good site for people who have been diagnosed with add or adhd to get support, to gain knowledge, to read things from different perspectives, and to learn about ways that others deal with it.
Support means different things to different people. For example, I would not feel supported by people just saying - "I understand" or "that's too bad," the end - but, many people would.
In my case, I would feel supported by people sharing experiences, ideas, possible coping strategies, pointing out things that I didn't notice, sharing from thier individual perspective, and not being afraid to tell the truth, etc. (That's why I prefer the board uncensored to the extent possible.)
We're all different so support to each of us will mean different things. However, I do think that people tend to give the type of support they would prefer to receive.
Also, I didn't see the thread that people are referring to about smoking. So, I don't know the details of what happened there.
I posted to antiadhd a couple times but then I started ignoring her/him. I tend to look at that poster as someone seeking attention (could be wrong but that's what it looks like to me.) She has said the same things over and over again without provocation, and she's just a kid. (I also ignore stephybabe when she/he comes on the board .)
Thanks bepatient! [QUOTE=bepatient]
Woo Hoo! Thanks Barb!
cynthia,
when you go to post there is a little box up above on the far right, says ABC and a check mark under it. Click on that and it takes you to a page that shows you how to down load a free spell checker. After you do that you can access it via the ABC icon box, your tools menu or right clicking your mouse.
[/QUOTE]
Ohhhhhh. I wondered how to get it to work .
Ogram is right. We can't help each other when we are busy insulting or defending someone. These sites aren't the place for that.
Actually, the reason for my posting is just to let people know that the box with ABC and a check mark next to it is a spell check feature. You can check your spelling before you post, so you don't have to worry about what others may make of it. Its the far right at the top of this reply box.
[/QUOTE]
YEAH. I am not right all that much, but I am glad some one else agrees.
Yeah, I know about the spelling thing. I have worse spelling than my 8 year old. that's sad. when you see a post that is from me, and it says edit, that's when i had to do the spell check. lol i forget. what is it with people with the spelling? My sis is like that, and it pisses me off. lol I think that's why she does it, to make me mad. lol
Barb - I am such a dummy I still don't see the spell check thing.
[QUOTE=cynthiatweedle]
Mine too. This thread was started because of a posting of a very different treatment and that person was attacked as trying to sell a product first. Then it was seen that the psychologist who did this treatment seemed to have something against parents who smoke. It went down hill from there with the person being labeled as ignorant and etc., etc. That person really didn't agree with the psychologist on this. But that was not enough. They were labeled anyway. It was not really a case at all of someone downing someone else that started the rant. And there in lies the difference between just disagreeing and attacking the person with that extra special shark attitude that sounds like the person got up on the wrong side of the bed and was just looking for someone to run over. LOL Some times I think people bring in issues that really have nothing to do with this board and it amounts to displaced anger, just like anti-adhd is doing. My attitude is generally to ignore them because they are off on some tangent and can't hear, see, or feel anything about their own problems but they just gotta spill out this rot that makes me feel like saying "Who cares!" They are a dead give away, we've seen them a million times. But I wouldn't recommend this site to anyone who was sensitive and has a different treatment that they think is successful. They can't even post on the alts board without attracting somebody's displaced suspicions. As for me, I know what it is and can shrug off personal attacks. They are are funny because they are too blind to smell their own stink.
This thread was started because of a posting of a very different treatment and that person was attacked as trying to sell a product first.
[/QUOTE]
I hope you are not implying that this thread is the thread you are talking about. Because, I could care less about smoking or non smoking. I think you are talking about some one else, and not me. I put this thread here, because of all the bickering from anti meds - vs. - pro meds. If you have a problem with ME, C.W., please pm me on it. other wise I will know that you are not directing it to me. I don't want to argue with you. It's pointless and we have different views, the argument would just make both of us look stupid.
I am not planning on getting involved in this thread. To my knowledge, the people posting about the school marm haven't registered on my site, so I assume that isn't directed at me. I do insist that people respect each other and disagree without insulting one another, so I do have to defend sites that don't allow outright meanness. It is not necessary, and says a lot about the person being rude, none of it complimentary.
Ogram is right. We can't help each other when we are busy insulting or defending someone. These sites aren't the place for that.
Actually, the reason for my posting is just to let people know that the box with ABC and a check mark next to it is a spell check feature. You can check your spelling before you post, so you don't have to worry about what others may make of it. Its the far right at the top of this reply box.