mentaltoast - I too have 4 children. My 17 yr. daughter is very much like yours and I have yet to figure out a good way to handle her. Life can be sweet when all is going her way but then she will want to do something I do not agree with and the demon side will emerge. This is a child that has to be on the move, always doing something, and she has always been this way. Its not a teen thing has only gotten worse with adolescence. She is her own worst enemy because she can NOT shut her mouth and walk away, EVER. She will not leave the room or go to her room when told, nor will she allow me to walk away. She will follow me, even following me to the car and trying to get in with me to continue the argument. She can be very exhausting! When she is pissed everyone in the house pays the price.
She always seems to have an opinion or a comment for her siblings that was not asked for and most times is just unwarranted, negative and at times nasty. On the subject of my 17 yr old I could go on and on.
All of my children seem to have a problem with minding their own business and will put themselves in the middle of others disagreements. This could possible be something they've learned from their older sis. My house is rarely at peace, there is almost always turmoil of some kind.
I have scheduled an appt for her with a psychologist (I thought he was a psychiatrist, but is the only one covered under our ins.) to be further evaluated.
Sorry I have no words of wisdom, but it sure feels good getting some of that off my chest.
Haha. YOu're assuming WE are sane I have a higher functioning spectrum child who is 12 and raised three kids to adulthood, one I suspect strongly had ADHD and I know she had other learning problems and it wasn't fun. But these kids have low self-esteem in general and sort of take it out on us, I think. Although she is older, I recommend reading "The Explosive Child" which teaches you how to pick your battles. Ross Greene is the author. It's for younger kids, but works for teens too, imo. I would also watch her CLOSELY. My teen got in with a BAD crowd and started usuing drugs. She was 12. Make sure you know all her friends, try to steer her right, and don't great drawn into her arguments. Sometimes it helps to say, "Is anything going on that I don't know about? Tough time at school? Friends being mean to you? Is that why you're in a bad mood?" This worked well with my other two grown kids. You may also want to re-evaluate her just to make double sure sh e's not on the spectrum, since most of your kids are. My one spectrum child, however, is my easiest one. I wish you luck!My son's they can argue I tell them they have to go to their room and when they don't do it I start counting I get to one my 5 year old who has ADHD goes to his room at 1 now and my 3 year old goes at 3 but while he's walking he goes thats not fair....I tell him I love you and he says I don't like you anymore I just smile because after his time out he comes out says sorry for what he has done and gives me a hug and kiss. The sticker chart has been working on the kids very well. but we are only on our second week. My 7 year old though she tries to get out of stuff any suggestions on how to stop that Any feed back would be great.
I LOVE This Board Thank you each and eveyone of you.
Lisa
I tell my son he should be a lawyer too. Except he argues about nothing sometimes. Dont know how he does this.I tell our son, who has ODD, "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way," in a calm tone of voice, then walk away from him. He can get very nasty and disrespectful for no reason. He also thinks that he has been wronged at times, and treated unfairly. He recently accused me of blackmailing him (where this one came from, I'll never know)! I just told him, "Well, I guess you can call it whatever you like." This ended it.Momiss2,
I love " thats an interesting point of view"...I think I will try it with my future lawyer.
She was diagnosed by 2 doctors and a pshy, she is on Adderall xr and I do believe it is time to up her dosage however she is watched closely by her pediatritian who works with the neurologist.
This is NOT typical teens stuff. I remember being a teen, I am not that old, have worked with teens, troubled teens, etc for years and I know the realm, this is the ADD coming out. And I know her behavior is exactly typical add in teen girls, I was just hoping someone could direct me to info that was tried and tested to help in these situations.
Thanks anyway.
Good luck, it sounds like you really have your hands full. Find a good behavior management program, or plan a consequence for her, every time she can't stop with her point of view. The most important thing is not to argue with her or react. When my son does that, I refuse to argue, but say "thats an interesting point of view". If that doesn't work, I walk away and ignore it. If it escalates he is sent to his room for 15 minutes, because of his age (15). I do this because its not an appropriate behavior and I feel kids/and adults too need to learn to be okay when someone doesn't agree with them.I'm sorry if I offended you with the typical teen reference -- it was difficult to tell from your post what exactly is going on.
What you do describe -- being at peace sometimes and a "demon seed" at others -- is suggestive of mood issues (anxiety, depression, mood instability). I can't tell what kind of doctor pshy is (psychologist or psychiatrist) so if she hasn't been evlauated by a psychiatrist, I strongly encourage you to do so. There could -- and frequently is -- more going on than ADD.
Welcome! What kind of doctor diagnosed her? When was her last evaluation? Is she on any meds? Are they working, or making her worse? It's hard to know from what you describe whether she has become a typical teen, or whether the behavior is so severe that she might need an evaluation by a board-certified child psychiatrist to figure out if there's more going on than severe ADD. Just my thoughts until you provide more information . . .
Hi folks,
I have 4 kids, 3 on the spectrum:
14 yo girl with severe ADD, on honor roll
12 yo boy, Aspergers, OCD, ODD, ADHD, honor roll
9 yo son, extreme ADHD and my suspicions border Asperger area but nothing definite, again honor roll.
8 yo without any diagnoses, just seems to be the sensitive soul, gate, gifted, honor roll.
My daughter is hitting that always right, magnified by 10000 thing. Not to mention her outbursts, twists of reality that have no reality, etc are REALLY getting to me.
Thier father, who I was married to for 10 years and been away from for about 6, is I truly beleive undiagnosed Aspergers as well. I have little tolerance for their make believe reality/ excuses at times.
For the most part our house is a very peaceful one and it is very important around here to nip things in the bud because one kid can start everyone else and then it gets ugly. But her mouth seems to always be on auto drive.
When she is at peace, we get along great and spend a lot of free time together. But when she thinks she has been wronged, which she usually has not, has to own up to her own responsibilities, which isn't much, or cannot control her mouth and get in the middle of her brothers' issues, all bets are off and she is like a demon seed.
I am really trying to find as much info on how to handle teen girls with ADD, can anyone point me into the right direction?
Thank you