How much can I ask of the teacher?? | ADHD Information

Sarah, welcome!  There is a process in every school district for getting an Individual Education Plan (IEP) or 504 accommodations.  You might want to start by reading the website www.wrightslaw.com about the procedures for obtaining this help for your son.  If he's failing, he should be eligible.  Two important warnings:  always send requests to your school in writing and by certified mail, and consider hiring an advocate who knows the law, your rights and how to obtain the best result for your son.  Good luck!

 

Just wondering about this subject and wanted to get other opinions...

My kids are out of school this week and so I am trying to do as much reading as I can, as much planning as I can before they go back. 

I know I never formerly introduced myself... I am Sarah, SAHM to 5, with a 13 yr old dd recently dx with mild ADHD (now homeschooled and doing well) and now my 8 year old ds dx with severe ADHD.  I came here looking for info to help him and me... he is failing his classes in second grade and I just cannot have that.  I took him to a psych (the one I work for) and she started him on Adderall XR.  I hated the meds... still do, but I also have him on several natural things too.  She said do the meds in school, work with the natural stuff this summer... good idea and I will. 

I have 3 other girls- 6, first grade, and already having trouble reading... all my kids hate to read...???  Then two younger ones- 22 months and 3 years. 

Back to ds- I CANNOT allow this ADHD problem to cause him to fail.  He CAN do the work, he has the skills.  He just cannot do it in the time allotted at school, so his classwork is always "incomplete", hence the failing grades.  I hope to get his teacher to work more with us, but I wondered what others here have done to get the teacher to work with them.  How responsive were the teachers?  Did they fight you or work with you?  What all did you ask of them?  What is reasonable for me to ask?  What is my right, or my child's right, to ask and expect them to do?   

Thanks sooo much for the info.  I am really loving this site... at least I dont' feel so alone. 

Sarah

Sarah,

Welcome! 

I have to say I am pretty appalled that an eight-year-old child is failing, simply for not being able to complete his work in class.  Are you sure this is why he is failing?  How is he doing on his tests at school?  If a teacher is failing a child that age for incomplete work, I would imagine s/he is not going to be willing to do much to help without your really getting in there and fighting.  Is he in public school?

I'll wait for your answers, then I'll respond more. 

Whew!  I'm sorry, but this teacher sounds like she is going to be difficult to work with.  "Something we are discussing"???  Well, it's great she's discussing holding your son back with other people and not with you!  How comfortable are you with fighting with schools?  If you aren't, I would start the process of hiring an advocate.  You need to go through the process of getting your son a 504 or an IEP, and it's a long process.  Part of this process is having your son evaluated for learning disabilities, and until he is, I would be very cautious of "he can do the work but..." kind of thinking.  There are different types of learning disabilities and expressive disabilities are among them.  Not being able to express what is in your head, either on paper or verbally, can be caused by many different things. 

[QUOTE=lillian]

  Are you sure this is why he is failing?  How is he doing on his tests at school?  If a teacher is failing a child that age for incomplete work, I would imagine s/he is not going to be willing to do much to help without your really getting in there and fighting.  Is he in public school?

I'll wait for your answers, then I'll respond more. 

[/QUOTE]

Well, I am not getting a lot of feedback from his teacher, but that's the impression on what I do get back from her.  She even admitted that she knows he can do the work, but it's not getting done properly.  When I asked her if he could get held back, she said yes, that is something they were discussing.  I asked her how that could happen, when we all know he has the skills... she just repeated, well it is being discussed..  I guess I will know more on the 14th- we have an SST meeting at the school for him.

Public school- unfortunately, yes, he is in it now.  But, with his ODD, homeschool is not an option right now. 

I can't figure out why she is against him.  I also can't figure out why the last report card says he got an "E" (excellent) in math, and 3 1/2 weeks later, when the school sends a early report to "keep the parents updated on how things are going", he is now receiving an "NI" (needs improvement, not working up to grade standards)....

Some of my family is saying maybe being held back is not such a bad idea.. but I disagree BIGTIME!  He HAS the skills, he KNOWS the stuff he needs to know, he just can't actually get it out before he forgets.  And he is very easily distracted by his classmates.  Holding him back would be devastating to his self esteem and besides that, he would be terribly bored, which often makes things worse.

An EBD classroom is a classroom for emotionally/behaviorally disturbed children.  They can be great, and they can be awful.  Unfortunately, I think how effective they are has more to do with the teacher than anything else, but they never are the first choice.  All types of interventions should be done first in the regular education classroom.

What kind of meeting is this and who is going to be there? 

It's an SST- Student Support Team- meeting.  It says "it's to discuss ds performance in school, and plan interventions and strategies to help your child be more successful in school.  The SST may consist of teachers, counselors, administrators. psychologists and ot other specialists."

That's great!  This is a typical first step done at school to help your child.  Where I live, the SST is called the Academic Intervention Committee.  The steps usually are the AIC, the 504 Committee, then the ARD Committee.  Basic interventions are put in place with the AIC.  If those interventions are not enough, a 504 is considered.  If the accommodations by a 504 are not enough, Special Education modifications are considered.  All in all, it can be a long process, but it should be.  Children should not be unnecessarily labeled with a Special Education label, if the children do not need it IMHO.  It's overkill.  You want basic interventions to be used first, and that's what concerned me about your previous posts, that basic interventions had not been done. 

When you attend the SST meeting, you want to take in your child's dx.  This will ensure that the school is aware your child has a "suspected" disability.  To protect your child, I would stick with the ADHD dx only, to help ensure an Other Health Impaired label, if it comes to that in the end.  If you take in the ODD, your child can be labeled EBD, and I would try to avoid that.  Take in a medical dx of ADHD, signed by a psychiatrist or other physician. 

When you are in the meeting, discuss the academic concerns you have for your son, but be careful that they remain within the ADHD realm.  Take notes and write down any and all interventions mentioned.  Remember that you are part of the decision making, and if you do not like what you are hearing, don't be afraid to speak up.  You know your child the best, and you should be able to tell what is going to or not going to work for your child. 

The last post made me think...OMG what if we had not started my son with the homeopathy, kept him at the original school and only reacted to the behavior instead of looking at the situation holistically. Our son who is doing so so so well now would be in an EBD classroom. I mean he had lots of the same behaviors that were in response to the environment he was in...stressfull, boring, hopeless. We took him out of the setting that was so distressing to him first. I pulled him from the school and kept him at home until I found the private school we are in now. I used a private advocate to get to that step. She went to the school and observed. The same day she called me and told be the teacher was emotionally abusing my son and recommending never putting my son in that teacher care ever again!!!! So, my point is the parent cannot just respond to the behavior and still try to make the child fit into the setting. There are several things to consider. We went through so many diagnostic processes to make sure we knew what we were dealing with. We had to rule out all kinds of learning disabilities and processing disorders. Once we had a concise dx everyone wanted us to medicate. That was not an option. Meds didn't look at the whole child. I found Ritalin Free Kids by Dr Ullman, started with homeopathy and started with a child psychologist so my son was getting help. Then we turned our attention to the enviroment and found a place that understood that at the time we knew there was "something wrong" (didn't have t official dx yet, still doing tests) and we were working on it. The school accepted that, agreed to be supportive and we enrolled. Flash 2 1/2 years later, honor roll straight A's, no behavior problems and a relaxed and happy child. I still have to make sure we have the right fit for teachers of course. Sorry for the book but this thread has shown me what could have been. I still have struggles with the school and that is from individual teacher ignorance and ego. goinsunshine38774.7350231481

goinsunshine,

I am so happy for you and your son, that you were able to find what "works" for him. 

My son does not bully or threaten or fight. He now basically avoids classwork by goofing off. He makes silly faces noises, tries to play hide and seek, intentionally falls out of his chair or drops his pencil, tries to talk to the other kids. He invades people's personal space by leaning against them, or hanging on them. I interpret all of this as escalating avoidance behavior when given a mentally challenging task. It seems like as the school year progresses, the work has become more difficult, and his behavior has escalated. He's not emotionally disturbed, this is really a behavior issue. But it's really "inappropriate behavior" in my opinion because he is interrupting the learning of the other children. The behavior that I observed in class recently I would absolutely not tolerate at home when he is doing homework or finishing classwork.

The classroom accommodations are not working. We did not discuss any classroom observation by the school psychologist, only testing. I would probably not be willing to fill out a Connor's form because I believe it is subjective and therefore useless. I really think they are laughable! And if they proceeded with a classroom observation I would probably tell them it is too subjective to be of any use, object in writing, etc.

My EBD issue is that he happens to be highly influenced by other children. For that reason, I keep him out of the school daycare where there are older children present, and send him to a preschool that takes children up to age 8. I doubt he would benefit from spending the day with emotionally disturbed children.

NoTellin,

During the comprehensive evaluation, your child will be evaluated by a school psychologist, who will review any private psychiatric/psychological assessments your child has.  Then the school psychologist will send forms home to you, like the Conners Rating Scale, to fill out.  The psychologist also will observe your child in the classroom, talk to your son's teachers, give your son's teachers forms to fill out, and may give your son individual psychological assessments based on the information the psychologist has gathered.  The psychologist then will write a psychological assessment, saying what behavior the psychologist feels is interfering with learning. 

Once you have received the report from the psychologist, you need to check with your state and find out where the different behaviors are categorized in SPED.  Is anxiety Other Health Impaired or Emotionally/Behaviorally Disturbed, for example?  Above, I told Sarahandbabies to give the private dx of ADHD only because I know that ODD falls under EBD everywhere and ADHD falls under OHI everywhere.  YOU WANT TO GO FOR OHI EVEN IF YOU ARE ONLY GOING FOR A 504.

First there are interventions, then there are accommodations (504), then there are modifications (SPED).  If your child gets a 504 Plan, and accommodations alone end up not being enough to make the child successful, then the child can qualify for SPED and an IEP.  If your child's disability is listed as ODD by the school, then when SPED services are needed, your child will be listed as EBD because ODD falls under EBD in federal law. 

In the state where I live, Texas, a private medical dx of ADHD is crucial to keep this from happening. 

 

Whoops!  I didn't answer the EBD class question.

EBD classes vary greatly from district to district.  When I was studying for my Masters, I observed a couple EBD classes in one school that really impressed me.  One class was for kids who had disruptive behavior, and the other class was for students who had severe emotional difficulties but were not disruptive.  The school made a point of dividing the children according to why they were classified as EBD.  I wish all schools did this!  If they did, I wouldn't have as many problems with the EBD label. 

Whether or not your child should be put in an EBD class because of ADHD, which means disruptive behavior, depends, in my opinion, on how disruptive that behavior is.  If your child is bullying other children, threatening other children, fighting with other children, throwing fits in the classroom all the time, and continually interrupting the teacher and the classroom with inappropriate behavior, then a Behavior Intervention Plan needs to be put in place.  If your child still cannot act appropriately, then your child needs to be put in an EBD class.   I've told a couple of parents on this board that their kids needed to be put in an EBD classes, and the parents didn't like it a bit, but no child goes to school to be bullied or threatened by another child or to have his/her learning constantly interrupted by another child's behavior. 

So, how to keep your child out of an EBD class?  My first question is, does your child need to be put in one?  I don't believe most ADHD children need to be put in one.  I think their behavior difficulties can be addressed with proper interventions, accommodations and modifications in the regular education classroom.  All of those things should be tried first, as long as your child is not violent. 

Yes, you can refuse to have your child put in an EBD class, as long as the child is not violent, has not brought a weapon to school, or has not been caught selling or possessing drugs.  In those cases, the school can decide placement, regardless of what the parents want.  In all other cases, the parent can refuse placement and fight the school in due process, if necessary.  If the school wins in due process, the child can be placed without parental consent. 

lillian38774.4136458333

The interventions I mentioned are not difficult for the teacher to do.  In fact, a couple of them help her out and make her job easier.  The only one that takes more time is the behavior chart, but I've done many of them, and it does not take that much time. 

Interventions are required by law under NCLB.  I don't believe the school can even discuss retaining your child without having done interventions. If the school starts moving in that direction in the meeting, just simply state, "I don't understand how you can discuss retaining my son, when you have not done interventions.  This is the first meeting I have had at the school, and it's March.  No one has called me to discuss interventions, a 504 Plan, or having my son academically tested for learning disabilities, and now you want to discuss retention?"  I know you don't think your son has LD's, but it's important that you mention this because a school should not retain a child, without having done everything possible to reach the child. 

My son also has no academic issues. He gets off task and does not complete classwork. But the school IS completing a Comprehensive Evaluation, which is an evaluation for special ed and/or a 504. On the report card there is a behavior section, where they note whether your child is meeting or not meeting his/her potential. For my son, the answer is no. So although he is passing the tests, etc, they feel that his behavior is impacting his ability to meet his own academic potential. I just don't want you to be surprised at the meeting if you go in having not contemplated this at all b/c you noted said your son is definately not needing SE. Someone in the room may have a different view.

As far as I know they cannot retain your child in the same grade, or place your child in SE without your written consent.

Lillian--can a child be placed in an EBD classroom without parental consent? How do they qualify a child for EBD? Does a doctor have to state that your child is behaviorally disturbed (I'm trying to avoid, not GET this finding)?

Here are some pretty standard interventions for ADHD kids.  I hope this is helpful!

1.  Preferential seating.  Where this is depends on the child. 

2.  Frequent breaks.  Teachers often set up "wiggle" areas in a corner of the classroom, where the child can go and move around, without disturbing the rest of the children.

3.  Quiet place to take tests, like going to a classroom used for tutoring students.

4.  Behavior charts.  This is done when the teacher is trying to target certain behaviors.  The chart should have behaviors that are challenging for your child in the classroom and he needs to improve plus positive behaviors that your child demonstrates in the classroom and should be commended for.  If a behavior chart is only punitive, it is detrimental to a child's self esteem.  These charts are often linked to some kind of reward system, agreed on by the teacher and parent, and sent home daily or weekly for the parent to sign.  For younger kids, the more frequently it comes home, the better.  It's hard for the younger ones to discuss on Friday a behavior they had the previous Monday. 

5.  Being a helper in the classroom.  My ADHD students loved this intervention.  I had them help me hand out papers, take up papers, sharpen pencils, run errands, etc.  It gave them a chance to move around and be important, at the same time.  All too often, the ADHD kid's need to move around makes them stand out in a negative way.  This is a way for it to be positive. 

6.  One folder for all homework assignments.  All work goes in one folder at the end of the day and returns in the same folder the next day.  There's no searching in backpacks for papers.  For young kids, the teacher can be responsible for putting the papers in the folder or watching to make sure the child does it. 

7.  Praise for good behavior.  As soon as the teacher sees the ADHD child demonstrating good behavior, the teacher comments on it in front of the other kids and commends the child. 

Anyhoo, those are some basic interventions.  There are a bunch more, but I just wanted to give you an idea what interventions are.  Hope it helps.

lillian38773.5426388889[QUOTE=lillian]

If the accommodations by a 504 are not enough, Special Education modifications are considered.   Children should not be unnecessarily labeled with a Special Education label, if the children do not need it IMHO. 

Ds is definitely not needing Special Ed.  He is in no way slow, learning wise- no LD.  He just needed to learn to stay focused on the task at hand.  The meds and herbs should do the trick, and perhaps a few minor adjustments on the teacher's side of things... as long as she is willing to cooperate.  I really hope this meeting is to help him succeed, not to show me why he needs to be retained... 

 stick with the ADHD dx only,  If you take in the ODD, your child can be labeled EBD, and I would try to avoid that.  Take in a medical dx of ADHD, signed by a psychiatrist or other physician. 

Ok.. thanks.  I am waiting for the psych that did the ADHD testing to send me her report and she always includes her recommendations to help the child.  I also can get a dx statement from the psychiatrist that prescribed the meds.... I can make sure it's just the ADHD.  Ya know the weird thing- his teacher was given a questionarre, just like me plus the Conners rating chart.  I looked at her answers and NONE of the ones having to do with ODD were marked by her.  For me- they were all 3's, the max.  He NEVER challenges her... but never hesitates to challenge me.. why is that???

When you are in the meeting, discuss the academic concerns you have for your son, but be careful that they remain within the ADHD realm. 

What do you mean?

Take notes and write down any and all interventions mentioned.  Remember that you are part of the decision making, and if you do not like what you are hearing, don't be afraid to speak up.  You know your child the best, and you should be able to tell what is going to or not going to work for your child. 

[/QUOTE]

Will do... thanks again.

[QUOTE=lillian]

Here are some pretty standard interventions for ADHD kids.  I hope this is helpful!

1.  Preferential seating.  

2.  Frequent breaks. 

3.  Quiet place to take tests,

4.  Behavior charts.  

5.  Being a helper in the classroom. 

6.  One folder for all homework assignments. 

7.  Praise for good behavior. 

Anyhoo, those are some basic interventions.  There are a bunch more, but I just wanted to give you an idea what interventions are.  Hope it helps.

[/QUOTE]

This is very helpful and a lot of what I was looking for.  So, asking for these simple things are not too much of a burden on the teacher?  I mean, I am trying to be sympathetic to this poor woman who has about 20 kids everyday and some notable troublemakers in the class.  But, I don't want to be so soft that she just overlooks his needs...KWIM?

Sarah

Please don't worry about the teacher. Ask for anything that you think will help your child, don't be concerned that it will be more difficult for the teacher. Just think about your child. This teacher will be gone from his life in 4 months. I am relieved to hear that you've had success with that approach Lillian. I know that you use David Pal. What other natural/alternative methods do you use? And the med, which one is it?

goinsunshine--then you are paying for private school? I have looked into this.  I don't see a good fit in my town in terms of a school. What is your school like?

And you are implying that if I don't change the environment, but only address the behavior and take a holistic approach I may be unsuccessful? I just realized that a couple of you who have had success with homeopathy do not have your children in the public school system . I wonder if there is member who's had success with homeopathy and uses the public school system.

[QUOTE=goinsunshine]The last post made me think...OMG what if we had not started my son with the homeopathy,  [/QUOTE]

What are you using? 

Sarah

NoTellin,

That would be me .  Yes, we do use meds, too, but very, very light amounts, during school days only.  We predominately use natural and alternative methods, and they have been highly effective.  Private school was an absolute disaster for us, with the school pushing meds and more meds, so I put my son back in public school this year.  He has been receiving accommodations all year, and he just got an IEP for modifications.  He's the happiest he has ever been in school .

sarahandbabies,

Is your child in a EBD room or a regular classroom? My son is in a EBD room and His teachers there are exellent I'm sure they get frustrated but he's doing well Have you talked to the counselor at the school?

Thanks for the advice...

just a couple things- he has been tested for ADHD, LD, DD and other things in an extensive 3 hour testing.  He was found to have ADHD only, no LD- but in fact higher than average IQ.. just textbook ADHD with things like inability to focus, test scores that go up and down depending on the day, hour and whatever.... He has also been tested by a psychiatrist and she agreed with the ADHD and also dx him a few years back with ODD.

As for the work at school, in a recent conference it was the teacher's comment that she knows he can do the work.  He doesn't always have trouble, just certain times.  His schoolwork is very inconsistent, also a textbook ADHD symptom.  She also commented on how oftentimes she will ask him a question and his answer will blow her away because it's a well thought out, 4th or 5th grade answer.  IF he actually had the time and the one-on-one, he could get it down on paper. 

 

I have read the Wright's Law info.. but probably not enough of it yet.  Somehow I have to get all of this done quickly.... his meeting is in about 3 weeks and somehow this HAS to be done so he doesn't fail.  Ya know, I just don't trust the teacher... I mean how can he go downhill soooo fast.. and why doesn't she communicate with me better?  Part of me wants to go in a tear her to shreds because of her technique.. but I know if she doesn't like me, she won't be fair to him... KWIM?  Then again, I don't plan to cower to her- I just need to figure out how to talk to her so she understands I mean business and I won't allow her to just push him to the side and ignore his needs....

Sarah sorry this is late welcome.....do you have the teachers e-mail address see if they can let him take the homework home if you can't help him maybe his older sister can my aunt helped me and so did my uncle on math problems.

 

Lisa

Hi Sarah, NoTellin has great advice and I second what was said. We were in the same boat at the beginning of this year(4th grade). Believe it or not the teacher was failing my son because the handwriting didn't look exactly like the handwriting chart. Legible, yes. Correct answers, yes. However graded as an F. She didn't like him for whatever reason. She commented to me that she didn't like the way he sat in the chair. That came back to bite her in the butt because when I was lobbying to get him switced to another teacher, I quoted that line. How can we work with someone who doesn't even like the way they sit in a chair!!  Pure ignorance and ego. We were talking to a brick wall. Fortunately the dean of elementary doesn't have an ego and is willing to do within reason what he can for the kids. We switched teachers. Now, straight A's and no formal accomodations. The new teacher lets him use time during the day to go back to unfinished assignments and if he just can't finish it he brings it home with no points off. She hands out a folder every tues with all graded work and a list of any assignments that are missing. If the child turns it in by Fri, no points off. She does this for every child. Sorry this is getting long. I will stop here. Hang in there and stand with confidence, even if you aren't feeling it at the moment!!

O.K., you've got a lot of what you need to approach the school--a medical diagnosis of ADHD/ODD and private evaluations that do not show an LD.  (Although, I do want to add here that LD kids can have above average intelligence--an LD is something that impairs a child's ability to achieve to his/her intellectual level .  My son has above average intelligence and is served under Special Education for a Disorder of Written Expression.)  What you need to do next is to contact an advocate.  You can find one by googling "Educational Advocates in -----," the latter being whatever city you live in or close to. 

You need an advocate.  Most of the time, parents can do a lot without an advocate and, in fact, may never need one.  I don't see that in your case.  You have a teacher who is not communicating with you and is failing your son, knowing he is ADHD, right?  The teacher knows your son has a dxed disability and is failing him, without conferencing with you or recommending interventions, correct?  That's bad news.  And I really don't like the fact that people at the school are discussing retaining your son, who is known to have a private dx of ADHD/ODD, and the most basic of interventions have not been put in place. That's really inexcusable, and it is against the law.  I urge you to get an advocate. 

Well in your shoes this is what I would do. Attend the meeting with a typed up list of classroom accommodations in hand to pass out. Go down your list of accommodations one at a time and ask the teacher point blank if she can provide each one. Don't let them skip over any. Be proactive in the meeting and have a take-charge attitude. Don't act meek, don't believe everything they say, don't be led, and don't sign anything. I would do some research on the wrightslaw website in advance and convey to them that you have a good understanding of your rights. Ask for a "Comprehensive Evaluation." Ask for everything, and let them know that YOU KNOW what you are doing. In my opinion you will be the only person in the room with a truly altruistic agenda no matter how cooperative they appear to be. After the meeting send the principal a certified letter that outlines the agreements made during the meeting. If your gut tells you something is not going right, hire an advocate.

Kppy,

I don't know how old your son is, but mine is twelve.  He's old enough to discuss things that he used to be unable to discuss, and he says, honestly and bluntly, he wants to know what to expect in a classroom.  He tells me he has to have routine and to know what kind of behavior the teacher wants.  Interestingly, he wants that in combination with a soft-spoken, kind teacher, who treats the students respectfully.  If a teacher is unfair or overly stern with certain students in the classroom, he notices it and immediately feels like he can't trust the teacher .

my son is 9.

he sounds alot like yours!  mine wants/needs a softspoken teacher who has well established routines but is also fun.  too stern is no good for him either but he still likes the teacher to have command of the class.

i have a better selection next year of teachers but i may continue to homeschool.  he's done sooooo well at home.  he's "smarter" than i gave him credit for and i have pushed him a bit and been very impressed with the results!  can't argue with success!
lillian,

for my son, alot of it had to do with trust.  if he felt that the teacher was unpredictable or inconsisitent with routines, discipline ect. my son would become a bit anxious or worried.  he's never been the most flexible kid in that respect.  i always say he is like my father, very stuck in his ways (at the ripe old age of 9 )

i too am a sped teacher and yeah, i miss tater!

[QUOTE=kppy]. 

i homeschool him this year.  why and what was the difference?  last year he had a terrific teacher who he bonded with and trusted. with her he thrived and was able to make some awesome progress.  this year,  uugghh! is all i can say!  pretty much the opposite of the year before and unfortunately, the two other 3rd grade teachers were no better in terms of moving him.

i think having a good teacher/child match is imperative to having a successful learning experience- at least for my son. (my other two kids would learn in almost any environment!)   having the right teacher match

kppy
[/QUOTE]

I think that is soooooo true for the ADHD kid!  What is it?  It's true with my son, and it was true with my students.  I used to say, "Get the ADHD kid on your side, and most of the behavior difficulties will disappear."  I wish Tater still posted because she's a teacher who teaches a lot of ADHD kids, and she used to talk about this a lot.  If you look at the interventions I listed, many of them have to do with building a positive relationship between the child and the teacher.  ADHD kids thrive on the positive relationship. 

Last year, I went to the school my son was going to be attending this year, and I kind of picked the teachers, telling the principal I did not want my son with any teacher who was a "yeller."  My son does not respond well to really strict, regimented teachers. 

Hi NoTellin, I think the environment your child is in plays a big part too. It was our unfortunate situation that we had a teacher and school that made everything we were doing worse. There was no way we could have stayed in that particular setting. I think anyone that is trying to work with the school/teacher is addressing the environment. There just came a point where the environment we were in was too hostile and we felt damaging. Our first school was a small private school and it was their way or the highway. Our second school is a little bigger private Christian school who's hearts have been opened to looking at what they can do for their adhd/ld kids. Don't know how we got so lucky. A family at our current school left this year to put their twins in public school because they needed services that our school doesn't have. They are happy there. The mom is happy with the changes she has seen due to the homeopathy and she is able to work with the new school for the benefit of her boys. I don't think it is a matter of public vs. private rather damaging or not damaging.

Thank you lillian, so glad to hear that your son is happy in school too! I love to hear when things are going well, it helps me stay strong and encouraged. And wow, you have a lot of great information. Thanks for sharing. 

goinsunshine38774.7375578704notellin,

my son was in public school last year and i use homeopathy, as you know.  he recieved no services whatsoever (had been dismissed from sp/lang because his goals had been met the year before) and yet had a very, very successful year. 

i homeschool him this year.  why and what was the difference?  last year he had a terrific teacher who he bonded with and trusted. with her he thrived and was able to make some awesome progress.  this year,  uugghh! is all i can say!  pretty much the opposite of the year before and unfortunately, the two other 3rd grade teachers were no better in terms of moving him.

i think having a good teacher/child match is imperative to having a successful learning experience- at least for my son. (my other two kids would learn in almost any environment!)   having the right teacher match and the right treatment for my child (homeopathy) helped lay the groundwork for his success.  it's what he had last year in the public school and he's getting it this year thru homeschooling with me.

i guess you have to do what you think is best for your child.  i know i did, but i also know it's difficult to figure out at times.
kppy

Hey, I'm conversing with TWO sped teachers. How cool is that ?!

Well, my son's teacher exaggerates a lot and isn't very objective but I must say she is working with me and my son likes her. And she is trying like the dickens to get him every service under the sun, albeit her agenda may just be to make her own life easier.

kppy--is your overall game plan to see if the assigned teacher works out each year, and if not, pull him out to homeschool-taking a flexible position each year?

goinsunshine--thanks for the clarification that it's not public vs private, but the particular environment itself.

NoTellin38774.6976736111[QUOTE=CMRsmom]

Is your child in a EBD room or a regular classroom? [/QUOTE]

What is an EBD room?  Ds is just in a regular classroom at present...  If there is something special I should ask for, I need to know so I can talk to them about it at our meeting March 13.

TIA

You suppose if I walk in with the books about "Wright's Law" and "No Child Left Behind" they will understand I mean business and I am NOT ignorant of what he is allowed....lol

I knew I could get good advice here... this was exactly what I need.  I will go buy the books and get prepared for whatever they try to pull.  I also called the dr who did his eval and asked for her advice.  Thanks again...

Sarah and Jacob

I've been to one meeting...they agreed to all of my classroom accommodations...they offered a Comprehensive Evaluation...I went alone. My scenario may be in the minority, I don't know.  Sarah, I am so sorry that you are going through so much. Unfortunately you will have teachers that are willing to go the extra mile and others that will not budge an inch. If the teachers olny knew that if they made some accomidations that their life would be a little easier. I have a 15yo DS that is severe ADHD with LD with written expression. Also a 7yo DD that was just dx with ADHD but no LD. My 15yo is in 9th grade and the past 3 years have been a nightmare in school. He has an IEP and I am constantly in contact with his teachers. He has 1 this year that is just making every effort to make sure he doesn't succeed in her class. She want accomidate him and I'm constantly up at the school meeting with the principal in regards to this. I have learned that unforuntly in schools there is only one person that cares about your child and their success, and that person is you. You have to stand up and insist on some changes. If this means changing that teacher than stand your ground. We had a horrible teacher in 1st grade that told my DS everyday that he was a bad child and ruined his self esteem and his love of school. I asked that his teacher be changed continually and couldn;t get it done. I didn't go up the ladder like I should have and learned alot that year. If I feel that something needs to be done or changed I stand my ground and do what ever I need to to get it done. I hope things get better. We are here for you. It looks like you have lots of advocates here to help you.

Yes, I think advocates can be really expensive also. I'd definately research and find one, so you can contact if needed quickly. But I would go to this meeting without one, just to see how the principal, school psychologist, and learning resources teacher respond, and how they interact with the teacher. Test the waters. Check them out. Maybe the teacher does not pull that much weight. I would be sure to diplomatically question her at the meeting--ask how he could suddenly be failing in a matter of weeks. Ask details. I would really put her on the spot about this: "When I asked her if he could get held back, she said yes, that is something they were discussing." Ask how many meetings they have had, exactly what was discussed, and imply that it is unethical/illegal to do so without your presence. Perhaps tell them that those types of topics must take place in team meetings. Diplomatically of course, with a lovely tone of voice and all, with a "we are a team" approach. Consider sending her a letter, copying the principal asking that she produce all standardized testing results for a certain time period. I think you can do some or all of these things without attacking her; it's all in your approach and presentation.

Also, I would really encourage you to go to class for 1-3 full days and take notes, observing your son. But don't share your musings with the teacher afterward. Just leave. That will give you a solid grasp of what the teacher is talking about and increase her objectivity b/c she has a witness. It also might help you sift through your feelings about where the teacher is coming from.

NoTellin38770.6458449074I wasn't thinking about the teacher. I was actually thinking about an accurate description of what the child is doing or not doing as opposed to assuming that the teacher's description is accurate and true. I also read that retention is not beneficial. Maybe mom to become informed on that topic as well in case it comes up during the meeting.

I believe free advocates are available by calling your state's Department of Education.  And yes, private advocates can be expensive -- here (a large city on the East Coast) they charge anywhere from 5 to 5 an hour (I just priced them).  However, after all the runaround we've gotten trying to get my son 504 accommodations twice, I would not go into a school meeting without one.

 

Won't the teacher do different though with a parent there. I read on wrights law retention is not beneficial . It reccomends different curriculum.

Advocates can be hugely expensive!!! I would definetly look into it, sounds like you need one. But don't get discouraged if it is not affordable. I am wondering if switching teachers is an option?

ooops!  i haven't checked this thread in a long while-sorry no tellin.

i fully intended to have my son in public school this year but after the first 3 weeks,  it became obvious that it was going to be difficult. 

it took the teacher 4 days to return my first phone call and 3 days the second call.  to me, this is poor teacher communication skills!  i would never allow that much time to pass before returning a parent phone call let alone one in which the student was struggling!

when she  finally did call back,she had no idea that my son was having difficulties. it felt like a flashback of first grade (horrid, horrid year) and i was not going to allow that to happen to him ever again!

as for next year- i'm not sure yet.  he's doing soooo well and happy/proud of his successes.  hard to want to put him back in an environment in which he just passes along learning very little and suffering from poor self esteem....