I agree with Joemom, he shouldn't be loosing points for typical ADHd behavior that he can't control. I always ignored those comments from the teacher, and let her know clearly that I only want to hear about a day that was particularly awful regarding behavior, then I would consequence him at home as well. I remember when my son was in gr. 1, and I picked him up and the teacher was really mad that she told him to stay out of the puddles. She then angrily explained that he immediately went out and jumped in them. I thought boy lady thats the least of my worries. I said to her, "Thats why I send extra clothes". She walked away quite angry.
Regarding school grades, they will likely always be inconsistent, and have silly mistakes. That is part of ADHD. They will do well in topics they find interesting. My son really did well in more challenging concepts in math, but poorly in the easier concepts. The teachers found this interesting. It made sense to me.
The program 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Phalen made a huge difference in our household regarding stress. He went to his room alot at first, but it was so much better for him and us in the long run. Theres lots of good books out there. Once I looked at my son as having a disability it was easier to deal with. You have to have a behavior system that you apply consistently though, otherwise things at home can get really negative. Good Luck finding a system that works for you.
Hello, my name is Mary and my 6 year old son was recently diagnosed with ADHD. It wasn't until a few months ago, when he started kindegarden, that we were ever faced with the decision to have him tested. We took him to a pychologist and he was diagnosed as ADHD combined. We now get medication from his pediatritian, as he was prescribed Focalin XR 10 mg.
The basics about my son. He is also pretty seriously color blind. He is very artistically talented, very smart and just about always has a positive outlook on life. He is full of energy, to say the least, sweet, and very caring. He lacks in being able to pay attention for any length of time, is very easily distracted by anything and of course can't seem to slow down for anything. His teacher says shows all the signs of adhd to the extreme.
I am seeking advice on a few things to get us started on the right track to helping our son.
First, I am looking for a good book on kids with adhd which would help me better understand how to discipline him and of course teach me how I can best help him. I have researched many sites and found a book called, Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping w/ADD from childhood through adulthood, by Hallowell and Ratey. Has anyone read this or have any advice on another book?
Secondly, I have looked into EasyChild. http://www.easychild.com/ProductTour.htm to help us get some structure in our household and to help us give him positive discipline. (We are about to pull our hair out, as nothing has worked. We have gone though minor to severe punishments, with no luck with either. Our household is alway full of tension, we are driving ourselves crazy trying to figure out how to control his bad behavior and are getting no where fast. My biggest problem is that everthing is always so negative and I feel like we are just beating (not literally) him into a big black hole of negativity, which is terrible for him and will eventually kill his sweet, caring nature in the long run. I have recently done allot of research on positive parenting and now understand how to give him choices and consequences and such, but just need some guidence to get it all going and implement all this new stuff into our household. I think the reward system this software offers will help us greatly. Does anyone have an advice on this software or know of anything else that is available?
Thirdly, on the school front. His teacher is the one who suggested we get him tested. We were expecting this, as we had already noticed he was quite different from other kids at a very eary age. She noticed straight away that he was very smart, but just didn't show it in his tests. The first 6 weeks of school was a diaster, but he managed to pass with N (needs improvement) in all his subjects, but got a U (unacceptable) in conduct. We met with his teacher to discuss his problems.
She told us that she knew he was smart and was just amazed that a child who was so prepared for kindy. could have such problems with his behavior. She said that if it weren't for his behavior, he would be her best student. He has the best handwriting in class and was the most prepared to start school. We have yet to get his IQ tested, but plan to soon. We also want to test him for gifted and talented. My only concern is that you just never know when he won't be able to concentrate long enough to make the grades. He gets mostly straight A's, but he can just as easly bring home a 70 at anytime. He got straight A's on his report card the last 2 six weeks and now they seem to be dropping on occasion. This six weeks he has gotten a few 70's and 80's, just out of the blue. One week he can take a test and get a 100, the next week the same test could produce a 70. I look over what we gets wrong and it always turns out that he knew the correct answer, he just didn't pay attention to what he was doing. I get so bored studying with him, as he already knows the stuff. I'm bored, hes bored, so is there any point in studying? I sometimes feel like he may be getting extremly bored in class because of this (as his preschoold teacher suggested as well), which only adds fuel to an already burning fire. When he is bored he will not pay attention to anything you say and he is very easily distracted by the least little thing.
They have spelling tests now and he is reading as well. He can usually sit down with a new book only 2 times and can then read it fully by himself. My concern is that he has some trouble with speech, (the school is testing him for this) and has trouble pronouncing some sounds. Sometimes he tries to read his words backwords or writes some letters and numbers backwards. These are usually the same ones over and over again, so I don't think we need to worry about dislexia. The spelling test pose a problem, as he seems to get left behind, meaning he may miss the last 3 words, but he got all the other 7 words before that correct. I feel like he has a hard time keeping focus and once he gets left behind, he doesn't even know what word he is suppose to be spelling at that point. Is is appropriate to ask his teacher to give him extra time on such test, since he can't seem to keep focus long enough to do the test, but does know the material? I have read alot of post here on EIp and 504's but, to be honest, I don't have a clue as to what all that is about or when or how to go about any of that.
Aside from studing and test dilimas, my other concern with school right now is the conduct report. We get a daily conduct report which is used to calculate his grade at the end of the six weeks. He got a U for the first 2 six weeks, a S- (less than satisfactory) the last 6 weeks and will have a N (needs improvement) for this 6 weeks. The sheet has a legend with basic things he can do wrong and they pull strips everyday which correspond to the legend. Some of the things are, not being respectful to a teacher/student, not following directions/disobeying the teacher, disobeying outside the classroom, not raising hand before speaking etc. For the most part the things he is getting counted off for is forgetting to put is pencils up or not gathering his things at the end of the day (which are counted in the not following directions/disobeying teacher catagory). Small things like that, which i don't feel are worthly of dicsiplinary actions. But these do count against his grade. So what can I do with him at home about him constantly getting marks and failing grades in conduct, especially when the marks are for things like forgetting stuff when forgetfullnes and impulsiveness seem be a major problem with adhd? I do like knowing how he is doing, so really don't mind getting the reports daily, but I just feel he is getting conduct marks for things he shouldn't be getting them for. He pretty much has to be PERFECT in order to not get any marks every day. And the need to get that smiley face has become a big issue for him daily, only to leave him feeling terrible and dreading punishment when he gets home when he doesn't get it, which is most of the time. Should I expect them to cut him so slack in this department due to his disorder?
Sorry for rambling on so much and for my poor grammer/spelling, it is very late and i am in a hurry. I spent too much time reading, but wanted to get all this out. I hope you all can make some sense of it all and i look forward to any advice you can give.
Thanks,
Mary
HI Mary,
I too have a six year old son with ADHD. He is also smart as a whip but primarily has trouble with his work habits in school. I am getting his tested this week because he is having some trouble with spelling and writing. Sounds like some of the things he is getting counted off in behavior are related to ADHD and maybe executive functioning ( planning organization, memory and time mtg)..rather than be counted off, the teacher should help him with strategies that will assist him in these tasks ( just my opinion).
On the EASY Child program---we have it and LOVE it..I have included some school behaviors..gets 5 points for a good report and loses points for arguing with teacher....my son gets this and is working to getting to a high level which has lots of privledges...TV, computers, games, friends over...ect. I run the point sheet off and put it on the fridge and fill in as we go.. two or three time a week I will Imput on the computer with my son watching...this always gets him motivated....This program is good for us because we have a baby in the house and I dont like the idea of having marbles around ....the marble system ( similar idea) .
Good luck Mary,
BTW we should start a 6 year old ADHD club. to provide the moms with some sanity ( ha ha) ..it seems as If 6 is a popular age here.
Hi!
Welcome to the world of School. I have a friend who refuses to admit her son has ADHD. He does very well academically, but behavior is a problem. This child has 5% impulsivity control. Currently he is in the 5th grade. All but one of his teachers are "easy going". The one that is not gives him bad conduct marks for things like shaking his leg or tapping his pencil on his leg.
I have a son that is every teacher's dream as far as behavior goes. My son can't pay attention to save his life, unless the subject is highly interesting. When he was in Kindergarten he could never tell me what was going on in class, but during the days a police officer would come talk to them about smoking, drugs, or safety the child would tell me everything almost verbatim. My son is in the 5th grade he has an IEP. Well he did the wrong side of a math worksheet so the teacher told him he has to stand at the wall at recess. My son decided that going to the library to tead for 30 minutes would be the same thing(inactivity). Now he has to stand at the wall for 2 days during recess for not following instructions.
What you must understand is that schools are set up to fit a mold. Those who do not fit the mold get in trouble or behind. Yes, they want your child to behave a certain way and to be perfect. An IEP would help but I have yet to see every teacher implement the guidelines on the IEP. I think this is because of the number of students they have and the fact that they probably have other IEPs to follow. So this is a double edged sword: You have kids like our sons and you have teachers.
Driven to Distraction is a good starting point. You should also look up Thom Hatmann(correct spelling) and Daniel Amen M.D. Also there is a U.S. News issue about boys and education published a couple of weeks ago you should read.
Good Luck!
Did your child have speech delays or just pronunciation problems? Frankly, we had terrible luck with school testing and I'd be more inclined to recommend a NeuroPsych. He can test for everything, does very intensive testing, can find if there are hidden problems, and can point you in the right direction far more than a school will. The school has $$$ invested in your child NOT needing help. A private assessment has nothing to gain or lose by what they conclude. I agree on getting him an IEP, but I disagree with leaving the testing strictly up to the school districts. I'd get an outside opinion. NeuroPsychs do the most intensive of all the testing. It could be ADHD or it could be ADHD plus more or maybe it's an ADHD mimicker, especially if his behavior problems are very severe. I'd not want to overlook anything. Our son was misdiagnosed twice, once with ADHD/ODD. Nine unnecessary medications later, plus 40 pounds (yes, he gained forty pounds on meds he didn't need) we finally hav the right dx. and he's doing really well and has a suitable IEP. I'd avoid Psycologists without the Neuro in front of them. We had almost as bad luck with a few of them as with the school district. Good luck. OlderMom38771.2875