Social skills please help | ADHD Information

Spaz,

Social skills training classes are a very effective tool for treatment of children with Adhd. Teaching the child a specific social response in a specific situation is not the true goal of social skills training. The child must also learn to be flexible and organized in applying the skill in the correctly judged situation. A good skilled program should include built in examples of generalizations of skills to the child's environment, provisions of internal as well as external controls over consequences of the child's actions and it should follow the child time over a period of time.

Try calling the toll free number for Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (CHADD) AT 1-800-233-4050 or visit their website. Many branches of CHADD across the country have social skills programs for children and adults or can recommend one.

[QUOTE=NoTellin]I would spend several days observing him in the classroom and take detailed notes. Then I would select one social issue to work on at a time, and brainstorm some ideas. Non-verbal signals might be incorporated. Then go to the school counselor and/or teacher if you have an idea that she can help with.[/QUOTE]

Along with what NoTellin has mentioned, try using social stories. My use this method for my son and it helps.

Hi Spaz, I don't know where you live but in our large metropolitan area on the East Coast, some psychologists, educational testing organizations, social service agencies and developmental/behaviorial pediatricians run social skills groups for kids who are struggling in this area.  Your pediatrician or friends with kids who have "issues" may be able to point you in the right direction.  Good luck -- I'm sure your mommy heart is hurting over seeing your son hurt.

 

My son had this same problem for years, and to some extent still does. He used to pick his nose too and bite his nails. He also would hum a lot. Luckily for him and through constant talking between us, he has developed a pretty tough skin. He's an excellent artist and loves to draw. It's taken awhile, because he's in 8th grade now, but the teachers let him draw in class after his work is done. This relaxes him and of course the other kids are drawn to it. The sad thing is that kids can be cruel and it's always been that way. Try to teach your child to be forgiving, but not to put up with that kind of treatment. Be an advocate for themselves and tell them not to allow people to treat them badly or talk to them in a certain way. Once kids see the child is nice, and is willing to stand up for their rights, they usually have more respect for them.  I know it hurts to see your child hurt. There are times I wanted to go punch someone out for treating my son badly. LOL, but of course I didn't! Good luck. I happened to run across an article on this topic. The applicable advise in near the bottom. http://www.thomhartmann.com/socialskills.shtml.No Tellin, Thank you so much for that article.

My DS is in 4th Grade. He is being made fun of by many of the students in his class mainly because he does things that make him a target such as picking his nose.

The thing is he is just completely unaware of social cues ect., so he knows kids are making fun of him but, can not figure out why. The teachers have been no help in helping me to figure out what skills he needs to work on.

It is obvious I need to do some social skills training with him, but I don't know what to teach him or how to teach it. Have any of you used programs or found materials that have helped you with this? Are there people you can go to to get help- with such things. Do psycologists work on these skills?

It makes me so sad that kids are so mean to him, he tries so hard and is such a great kid. Teachers always love him, just not the kids.

PLEASE HELP

Our child psychologist suggested we get the school counselor to help.  Learning social cues is the job of us, as parents, but also the child's teachers.  It's part of them growing and learning.  Our school counselor was glad to help, but I learned a valuable lesson...you have to ASK for the help at the school.  Somehow THEY aren't supposed to suggest that your child needs help in that area.  If it's any consolation, many of our children (most?) seem to have trouble in this area.  They are developing behind the average child.Forgot to mention...my son is in the fourth grade, too.Hi, Spaz, you may want to get him a psychologist/coach. Usually your health plan will cover some kind of mental health care. It might be only eight visits but we found that it was well worthwhile. My son's counselor was great with helping him with social skills. We were also recommended a group called Collage, although we never went. It is for Asbergers/ADHD etc. Apparently they do role playing and group stuff to teach the kids how to read social cues.
I feel your pain, it's hard when your child is hurting. Good Luck.I would spend several days observing him in the classroom and take detailed notes. Then I would select one social issue to work on at a time, and brainstorm some ideas. Non-verbal signals might be incorporated. Then go to the school counselor and/or teacher if you have an idea that she can help with. [QUOTE=NoTellin]I happened to run across an article on this topic. The applicable advise in near the bottom. http://www.thomhartmann.com/socialskills.shtml.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for that link. I'm going to run out RIGHT NOW and pick up that Dale Carnegie book that's mentioned in the article. Teaching social skills is not as easy as you would think... My hubby can make friends with just about anybody on the planet, so I guess I automatically assumed that my son would pick up on how to do that from witnessing it enough. I guess not. But being on meds has sure made his awareness of social cues sharper, and hopefully the book's excercises will help further.
Good luck to all with the same issue!
PB

THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your replies. My heart breaks for him because he is such a sweet kid and tries so hard.

 WE tell him all the time how much we love him and how proud we are of him! I guess this helps because he seems to handle this well, but I know it has to bring him down.

 His sister is really popular and has tons of friends. He just noticed how many more names were on his sisters list of friends to call, than his.

He has only 5 people he can call and only one of those kids invited him to their B-day party, so while they are willing to play with him he obviously does not make their close friends list.

IT just makes me want to cry!

This saturday my son could not find anyone to play with, meanwhile my dd received 3 phone calls aking if she could play. NOt that I would ever wish to take anything away from my dd, but it is so unfair. She breazes through school, Is naturaly good at every sport she tries and makes friends without evan trying.my son struggles at everything!

POOR kid I so want to make things easier for him.

I am ordering a social skills curriculum that is written for children with Autism, so I am pretty sure it will be very specific and include generalizing as children with Autism typicaly have to be specificaly taught to generalize.

I am also going to call Chadd to see if there is a social skills group in our area.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR GREAT IDEAS.