My long awaited diagnosis | ADHD Information

Hey, I like my labels.

Loose cannon.

Wild stallion.

Beyond belief.

Brilliant mind.

I wonder what she meant by that last one? gearhead, that's a rotten thing for you adoptive Dad to say. That just made me really angry!!!Sonya,
while your diagnosis may not be comforting to you maybe this will. No matter what anyone says about you or which labels they try and stick on you....
you are still Sonya. You are nice, friendly, intelligent and pro-active about your mental well being. I have met a lot of people who could never be "diagnosed as":
nice
or
friendly
or
intelligent
or
pro-active about their mental health.

I've been "diagnosed" ADD, Manic, Depressed, "space-cadet", etc.
Including my adoptive fathers comment that I was the most intelligent idiot he'd ever met.

I'm still me though.

You keep on being you, just maybe a little better with more practice!

Here's where my frustration lies, It wasn't until my last semester before getting a degree in Psych that I realized I have ADD. Why? because none of the DSM criteria seemed to fit. I went through a long period of do I have Borderline personality disorder? Bi-Polor? Yada yada... Finally one day I found a really old book on ADD--when ADD wasn't lumped in with ADHD, and I went"AHHA" there we go, duh-I'm ADD!--Why give a diagnosis of something like schizoaffective disorder when the symptoms are better accounted for by ADD. Argh! another thing--Peita_ this morbid anxiety --did he say "morbid" or did he mean existential anxiety?

Sonya I know the feeling. Had my first therapy session yesturday. He was really nice but informed me straight off that didn't believe there was a condition known as ADHD. He reckons that other problems make up the traits of ADHD. Besides that he also says other than generalised anxiety he thinks I have Morbid Anxiety.

Any of you learnered people have anything on Morbid Anxiety?

[QUOTE=GlenW]

Try CHADD sonya (www.chadd.org). They have lists in most areas of the US and Canada. You'll find an ADHD friendly psych that way.

Schizo is not as bad as it sounds (most think schizophrenia - the worst connection). It just describes many of the severe symptoms you have and that's not bad - at least it has a name for you now.

ADHD can have both the disorders you first got labeled with as direct aspects. I suffer General Anxiety too - and now it seems both my sisters do too. That shows the strong genetic aspect but I can tell you once you get yourself on help that works it becomes far less severe. I cope with and even defeat anxiety almost daily. Still hide a lot but way less than before!

Don't fret so much (I know for one of us I might as well say "don't breathe"). Now you can get some serious help! Do check on CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy). The man who is giving you the advice here used CBT to stop being the little boy that always messed up. It's nice.

[/QUOTE]

I don't know. The more I read about schizoaffective disorder, the less it sounds like me.

"Morbid anxiety"???
I did a quick Yahoo search, and I couldn't find anything. Sounds like something your therapist made up. Did that therapist diagnose you with ad/hd or did somebody else diagnose you? Maybe you could go back to the person who diagnosed you and tell them the therapist they sent you to doesn't believe in AD/HD. I'm pretty sure the pshrynque who diagnosed you would not like that.

It is important that your therapist believes in your diagnosis. This is imperative for you to succeed in your treatment.

A morbid disorder is one where it's all-encompassing or obsessive and extreme. Like morbid obesity - where it's at the very extreme level. That's all - just a bad case of anxiety like many of us suffer from.

So that's what my fear of death and the death of everyone around me is all about then?

And no Sonya, this is a different guy. The psychiatrist diagnosed me.

that makes sense.

Sounds bloody awful though doesn't it MORBID ANXIETY

Makes it sound like I sit around thinking about corpses, disfigurements......

See, now my imagination has heard the conversation and is starting to take over.

Maybe I have got it afterall

Sonya, did you find out anymore on your diagnosis?

[QUOTE=Peita Pan]

So that's what my fear of death and the death of everyone around me is all about then?

And no Sonya, this is a different guy. The psychiatrist diagnosed me.

[/QUOTE]

to me that sounds like ocd behavior and thoughts. but that is related to anxiety, to. if you are not happy with the therapist who told you point blank that he doesn't believe in AD/hd, and yet it was your psychiatrist who diagnosed you with ad/hd and sent you to that therapist, i have a feeling that your psychiatrist will not be too happy about the fact that the therapist doesn't believe in ad/hd.

but if you are happy and everything is getting better, then i wouldn't change anything.

everything I find on it suggests that it is highly controversial. And that you may or may not have depressive symptoms, may or may not have manic symptoms, and may or may not have schizophrenia related symptoms.

It's just nothing conclusive that i could find, that really stands out and makes me say, "Why YES, THAT is me!!", you know? Not the way reading symptoms about ad/hd does.

[QUOTE=GlenW]

Sad is sometimes just sad - like a cigar sometimes is just a cigar.

[/QUOTE]

Humor me, Glen.

When is a cigar not a cigar?

P.S. This is not a joke, nor the start of one.

Freudian joke DavidO.

In Freudian psychology - you look for double meanings for everything. A patient comes in talking about cigars non-stop and a Freudian might think "penis envy" or "penis anxiety". But even Freud once was quoted when asking about double meanings "Vell, zumtimez a zigar.... is chust a zigar!!"

I think he'll be good for working on my anxiety issues. The more I'm looking into the anxiety the more I'm realising it really does have quite a hold on most areas of my life.

I can work out the ADHD with the pysch I suppose.

I'm seeing him again next monday so I'll probably give it a couple of sessions before I make a definate decision

[QUOTE=Peita Pan]

Any of you learnered people have anything on Morbid Anxiety?

[/QUOTE]

RUN!!!

And fast.

Waste management.

I looked up morbid - my definition is slightly off. It CAN mean about death, or in the anxiety it means "manifesting as an illness". So it means you are ill over anxiety. We've all been there.

Sonya - I find that a lot of people with ADHD get diagnosed for depression as well (hence all the anti-depressants). But I tend to think that there is valid sadness when you feel like you've messed up not only your life but your future, your family and friend's life, etc. There are times when being sad is just being sad! Once I got on dexedrine the "depression" basically vanished!

Now I was sad in a new way. I mourned the old me - the one that didn't feel constricted by morals or self-discipline. Wierd but true. I also felt sad now that I remembered each and EVERY time I hurt someone. Every one!! Now I feel I need to make amends - that helps the sadness. Like helping my ex when I finally broke up with her over a year ago. A lot of family/friends thought I was nuts as she had broken up with me numerous times but the fact was I was helping her for ME not for HER. It made me feel less sad and guilty as I needed solace not money. Now it's done and I have no more guilt. I did what I could for her and now she either swims or sinks on her own.

Sad is sometimes just sad - like a cigar sometimes is just a cigar.

The ADHD symptoms are me to a tee as well. His opinion hasnt swayed me at all.

Its hard isn't it when you're trying to figure yourself out but all you get is obscure references to all these different disorders. It's enough to drive one insane, is it not

I believe you peita - you are the best person to judge if you have ADHD or not.

I don't envy the job of psychiatrist. Each brain is different and no two people have the same symptoms. Many times they have to depend on the patient both being brutally honest (tough) and willing to face problems they most likely don't want to (tougher). No - that would be a hard job like trying to pry barnacles off a boat.

Trust your instincts and in the end don't feel guilty if you have to ask your psych for a second opinion. They'll forward you to someone they trust.

[QUOTE=GlenW]

Freudian joke DavidO.

[/QUOTE]

Oooooh!

I get it.

Thanks!

David-0

You are the sanest person I've met lately, so it is a long trip for you.

[QUOTE=Peita Pan]

It's enough to drive one insane, is it not

[/QUOTE]Peita, don't get angry at him. He was and is a product of his upbringing and environment -- which he was not able to overcome. Join me in feeling sorry for him. His behaviors have resulted in his own present ill health, his loss of my mother as a life partner and receiving minimal social opportunities with his grand-children whom he adores. Besides, getting angry at someone gives them power over your own mental peace. I don't choose to give him any such power. Also, if you think of what I just said about his current life situation-- who was really the idiot when he called me that?

Zo, repairperzzon....

Tell me about your fazzer....

Vell?

ADHDers har ze mozzt zilly peopluzz!

[QUOTE=gearhead]
Including my adoptive fathers comment that I was the most intelligent idiot he'd ever met.

I'm still me though.
[/QUOTE]

That's what I think of myself!
Intelligent idiot.

Well that ALL makes sense. Gearhead, you have wisdom.

And yep, I feel like an intelligent idiot most of the time, so maybe my anger was cos I took it personally somehow and for you?

He definately said Morbid Anxiety. What's existential anxiety. I could guess by the name but I havn't heard of it before?

In the big picture, psych diagnosis is a pretty imprecise guessing game. I would call around some pdocs offices and ask until you find one who has a lot of experience treating ADHD adults. They would be the most knowledgeable about mimic disorders too. Don't be afraid to interview your doctor to find one you trust.

It might help to take someone else with you, a family member or close friend -- most people are not able to describe their problems very objectively. How are you supposed to notice what you aren't paying attention to or remember what you forgot?

Intelligent idiot -- That would sum up how I feel when I mess up.

Well, I of course have the same symptoms/problems as listed by Sonya above... Delusional? Maybe, or hyperfocused because I have ADD? I'm telling you, I truly believe that this stuff is related to ADD not Schizo-affective Bla bla bla. Kindof curious so many of us ADD people have the same traits if it's not ADD related. Anyway heres a short synopsis of Existential Anxiety...

The experience of meaninglessness and the creation of meaning are closely related to the experience of Angst or existential anxiety. This occurs against the backdrop of the personal realization that I am ultimately alone in the world and that I have to contend with my mortality and other limitations, taking responsibility for myself in the face of endless challenges and confusions. This crisis of meaning was first described by Kierkegaard (1844, 1855), who thought that it was a great deal preferable to begin to feel anxious about life and question it, rather than to live in the despair of those who deny the need to think for themselves. Kierkegaard thought that human beings would only gradually become capable of such questioning. For the process of thinking alone plunges us into Angst, or existential anxiety, which was likened by Kierkegaard to a dizziness of freedom. He thought that experiencing Angst was the sine qua non of us assuming our responsibility as individuals and that without it we could never come face to face with the demands our life makes on us.

Anxiety or Angst is a core concept in existential counselling and therapy, for it is seen as the basic ingredient of vitality. Learning to be anxious in the right way, i.e. not too much or too little is the key to living a reflective, meaningful human life. As Kierkegaard put it:

Whoever has learnt to be anxious in the right way has learnt the ultimate. (Kierkegaard 1844:155)

Anxiety has to be distinguished from fear. The former is a generalized feeling of Unheimlichkeit (Heidegger 1927), of not being at ease, or at home in one's world, whereas the latter has a concrete object. It is anxiety that allows us to define ourselves as a separate person and to become responsive and responsible as well as aware and alert. Although we may become overwhelmed with anxiety, so that it becomes counterproductive, on the whole anxiety is to be seen as a positive breakthrough towards the goal of living fully.

[QUOTE=gearhead]Sonya,
while your diagnosis may not be comforting to you maybe this will. No matter what anyone says about you or which labels they try and stick on you....
you are still Sonya. You are nice, friendly, intelligent and pro-active about your mental well being. I have met a lot of people who could never be "diagnosed as":
nice
or
friendly
or
intelligent
or
pro-active about their mental health.

I've been "diagnosed" ADD, Manic, Depressed, "space-cadet", etc.
Including my adoptive fathers comment that I was the most intelligent idiot he'd ever met.

I'm still me though.

You keep on being you, just maybe a little better with more practice!
[/QUOTE]

Thanks, gearhead.

Reisa, that is a good idea. I did that yesterday, I called my dad and asked him just how "paranoid" am i? Because with schizoaffective disorder, it's basically a combination of bipolar and/or major depression (it can be either one, the other or both, I have more depressive symptoms than bipolar ones) and a touch of paranoia (which brings in the "schizo" part.)

Everything I can find on schizoaffective disorder uses words like, "dellusional" and "psychotic" to describe the "schizo" part of the disorder. Those words freaked the heck out of me. Made me feel like, OH GOD, am i THAT insane?? For heaven's sakes!!

But basically "dellusional" means to detect things that are not there. It could be something as simple as other people's emotions or motives. I had to sort of "reinstruct" myself as to what these words really mean, and get the negative first impressions of these words out of my head

So I asked my dad yesterday, and he said it soulds JUST LIKE ME. He said that he remember's me being this way at different jobs. He said what people did bothered me much more than "normal". And that everything someone did, I thought there were negative conotations behind it directed at me, and it would bother me for days, because I would come home and talk about it.

Since he said so, now I remember. I had a hard time dealing with even my nicest managers. I got along with them a few days, and then I would get uncomfortable around then because I felt like they were upset with me about something. Everything I did "wrong" at work, I felt like they immediately knew about it, and were upset with me. I read things into their words that weren't there.

That describes my "dellusions" perfectly. God only knows how many other times I have done this in my life. The only reason why I remember these particular incidents, is because my dad brought it to my attention.

I don't really have the "psychotic" part of that disorder. That would be hallucinations and such, and I don't have that.

But I am taking a few days to come to terms with all the symptoms of this disorder...

So after years of waiting, wondering, procrastinating, today I have my diagnosis.

Schizoaffective disorder, Social Anxiety disorder, and lastly, Ad/hd.

Somehow, I don't find any of my diagnosis comforting.

At first she was trying to tell me I DIDN'T have ad/hd. Then I produced the questionnaires that my husband, my mother, and I filled out, that i was supposed to turn in earlier, and forgot to do so. After reviewing them, she threw AD/HD into the pot.

For some reason, my mind has not been put to rest by my diagnosis.

doubled by accident.

sonya_h38775.5239583333You know, I thought of that, too.

But I keep forgetting.

Try CHADD sonya (www.chadd.org). They have lists in most areas of the US and Canada. You'll find an ADHD friendly psych that way.

Schizo is not as bad as it sounds (most think schizophrenia - the worst connection). It just describes many of the severe symptoms you have and that's not bad - at least it has a name for you now.

I found a research pshrynque.

Mood and anxiety disorder research.

He kept me on b/c of my money.

Google pshrynques that specialize in ADD/ADHD.

California has a lot.

Ok.

But I live on the east coast ..(a mere minutes from the great Atlantic, as a matter of fact)

If I was anywhere close to the west coast, I would go to see Dr. Daniel Amen...

It's our bodies, our brains.

We live with them 24/7, and doc only sees what we want them to see 15 minutes a month.

So, who knows best?

You do.

Add to your knowledge base:

Schizoaffective Disorder