Between a rock and a hard place | ADHD Information

Thank you so much for your words because that is exactly what I'm looking for with my son.  At this point because of his "problem" I cannot feel close to him.  I'm very unattached.  I hope to get him on the medication very soon.  Thanks again.

Welcome!  Honestly, the best thing you can do for your son is get a thorough evaluation so you know the exact diagnosis you're dealing with.  I strongly recommend a neuropsychologist (generally found at university and children's hospitals), who can assess for many childhood neurological disorders, including but not limited to ADHD.  BTW, ODD is not a stand-alone diagnosis.  Generally, it means that oppositional behaviors surface as a result of an underlying disorder.  When the underlying disorder is treated, the oppositional behaviors subside (not disappear altogether but do improve).  I hope you obtain an accurate diagnosis so you can put the proper interventions into place.  Good luck.

 

Well, unfortunately I can sympathize with a lot of the things you are dealing with. I also have two boys, 3yo and 6yo. My 3yo I HIGHLY suspect has Pdd-nos, but is currently diagnosed with apraxia and sensory integration disorder. His brother, my 6yo was initially diagnosed with ADHD/ODD, but with our long line of doctors we have seen in the last year we have also had RAD, Bipolar, anxiety, depression, CD added to the list. We avoided medications for a long time too, but finally decided to give it a try in hopes that something would help since everything we had tried didn't get us anywhere. We have now been through 6 mediactions and a hospitalization and are still working on finding what works. It is a long road, but keep going until you are comfortable with the diagnosis and what is being done about it. I wish you the very best and know that you have come to the right place, we have all been there and are here for you.   

Hello everyone!

I'm very new to this forum.  I'm the mother of 2 boys, an autistic 3 yr. old and a 5 1/2 year old with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and possible ADHD.  My oldest has all the signs and symptoms and was informally diagnosed with ADHD.  My husband and I have debated for a year about the medication route, but now see that it may be our last hope.  He pushes every button and drives us to a rage.  I honestly think that I might hurt him one day.  It's bad enough with my youngest, who he bites and is aggresive with, but he is more than I can handle at times.  Any advice for a mother desperate for some solution?

I'm new to the board as well.  I know how it is to put off giving your child medication but I know that it can get to a point where it affects every member of your family.  I'm still going through medications trying to find the right combination but I still hold out hope that we'll find the right thing for my son soon.  In my personal opinion, you have to try it...if there's even a slight chance that it could improve your son's life and your family's life...it's worth a try.  What keeps me going is that a few months ago the first ADHD medication my son was put on was Strattera.  It worked for about 2 weeks but stopped after that.  Now we're on to Concerta, trying to find the right dosage there.  I'll tell you this..  those two weeks that the Strattera worked for my son...I'll remember for the rest of my life...even if we never find the right medication for him.  It was the first time in 6 years that I was able to have a conversation with my son where he would look me in the eye and concentrate on what I was saying.  If only I had known that it would only last two weeks I think I would have talked to him constantly during that time.  It was like I finally found my son behind all of the problems, disorders and such.  I'll never stop looking until I find him again. I felt the same about med.s as Missourimom.  I couln't have a convo with my son until I decided to put him on med.s.  He's now 15, and although it was really rough raising him, he's doing well.  Things have simmered down over the last 3 years in regards to constant behavior issues etc.  Life isn't perfect when they are on medication, but a significant improvement.  It was an incredibly difficult decision to medicate, but I would never go back now.Chicagomom, I know how you feel!!! I put off medicating my daughter and trying alternatives for years, but 3 months ago finally agreed to having her put on Concerta - and what a difference!!!!!  It has made her life and mine much more manageable!!! Her self esteem is increasing because she is not getting in as much trouble at school (Actually getting praised for her better behavior) and even better, our relationship is improving. I know what you mean about not feeling close. The behavior can drive you to feel resentment towards your child!!! Even though you know they can't help it, sometimes it just feels like they should be able too!!!  Good luck, and you are in the right place!!!! [QUOTE=MissouriMommy]I'm new to the board as well.  I know how it is to put off giving your child medication but I know that it can get to a point where it affects every member of your family.  I'm still going through medications trying to find the right combination but I still hold out hope that we'll find the right thing for my son soon.  In my personal opinion, you have to try it...if there's even a slight chance that it could improve your son's life and your family's life...it's worth a try.  What keeps me going is that a few months ago the first ADHD medication my son was put on was Strattera.  It worked for about 2 weeks but stopped after that.  Now we're on to Concerta, trying to find the right dosage there.  I'll tell you this..  those two weeks that the Strattera worked for my son...I'll remember for the rest of my life...even if we never find the right medication for him.  It was the first time in 6 years that I was able to have a conversation with my son where he would look me in the eye and concentrate on what I was saying.  If only I had known that it would only last two weeks I think I would have talked to him constantly during that time.  It was like I finally found my son behind all of the problems, disorders and such.  I'll never stop looking until I find him again. [/QUOTE]

missourimommy, that is such a good description!  You've nailed it.  That's just what I feel like at times (ds is on meds 7days a week).  I really treasure weekends and summers and vacation days because I feel when that's when I can enjoy my ds.  School time is just one big hassle in our house.  I want Patrick to go to college but I don't know if he'd make it.  Of course, he's only 13, so I guess I have some time left.  Welcome mm and chicagomom (I grew up in Chicago and then in Evanston).  Thanks for your posts!
Just to pose an alternative.... there are many of us who use diet modifications, supplements, and/or homeopathic remedies to manipulate the chemistry in the brain instead of meds.  Personally, we have had great success with this route but it can take some time -- it's not an immediate change.  If you are interested, there is more info on the Alternatives to Meds section of this board.  Welcome and I hope you find the support you are seeking! Since the youngest child is on the spectrum, and the ADHD/ODD diagnosis isn't a sure thing (he could have something else) I wouldn't rush to put him on medication for ADHD. I DID rush, and my son doesn't HAVE ADHD--he has PDD-NOS, which was first misdiagnosed. So he spent three years on stimulants when he didn't need them, and they made him worse. I'd wait until he is evaluated further (and I recommend a NeuroPsych) before starting any medication. Not all professionals are equal in ability to diagnose and we had a few misdiagnosis until we saw a NeuroPsych. He actually tested our son and spent twelve hours with him before coming up with a dx., and my son is really doing well. I recommend going slow with meds. My son was also put on bipolar meds and he doesn't have bipolar either. He is still overweight from the meds from that. Be sure before you start. And make sure you oldest doesn't have high functioning autism. It tends to run in families. I don't know if this is true, but a friend of mine (a nurse) who has three spectrum kids, told me that each child tends to be more affected than the first one. Her first child was first diagnosed with ADHD, then Aspergers. He second is PDD-NOS. Her youngest is very low functioning autism. He can't even speak. If you feel you may hurt your son, a correct diagnosis for him is mandatory or you may end up harming him. I think counseling for yourself would possibly help you and the child. Good luck! OlderMom38776.8513773148