Some mornings | ADHD Information

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling... my son takes what feels like forever to do ANYTHING in the mornings (or anytime of the day for that matter)
I remembered my mother had a list put on the fridge for me when I was a child and that got me moving in the mornings, so I sat with my 6 yr old one day after school and we went through what we need to do when we get up in the mornings. We drew pictures and put them in their numbered sequence on the fridge, he was so proud of his drawings that he did everything on the papers every morning, but I'll warn you, it wears off after a while, so you need to update the pictures with fresh stuff to keep them happy. Hope my rambling makes sence oops...
How old is your son? My son is almost 12 so he may be older, but he has always been very slow in the AM. His 2nd grade teacher said he was a future coffee drinker. Have you tried some type of incentive system? For instance, I told my son he needs to be dressed and at the breakfast table by this time, he needs to be finished eating and be brushing teeth by this time, etc. (this is where a lot of dawdling happens - I usually have to check on him to make sure he hasn't gotten sidetracked) Then he needs to be practicing percussion by this time. He sometimes is running late at this point and practices a bit less. Anyway, I have to check on him at every stage (sometimes I just call to him to make sure he's doing what he is supposed to), or he will sometimes get sidetracked.

I sometimes set the alarm on the oven if I'm not around the whole time he is eating, so that he knows when he should get himself upstairs to get brushed, etc.

You might offer him stars on a chart toward a prize if he can get ready and be ready to head out the door by a certain time. You might could even give stickers for getting up and dressed and fed by a certain time. Wherever he drags the most!

Hope any of this helps! Hang in there!

P.S. Tarnea - we were on the same wavelength!
Koko38776.3133449074my both kids were pokey this morning.....they too have been like missing the bus forever.Look to the future.  It will get better. Remember he can't fight, if you don't fight with him.  Sometimes it helped me just to tell him, When you are dressed, and have eaten breakfast, then you can watch T.V.  I tried to ignore everything else that was going on.  If I couln't ignore it, I'd send him to his room.  If there was no time, he'd do his time out after school.  This worked in the long term.  There doesn't seem to be an overnight solution.  My son is 15 now, and I still avoid him in the morning.  He manages to get to school with everything he needs.  He does need to know there is a consequence for difficult mornings.  Sometimes a star chart is helpful just to start you in the right direction.  They tend to learn best with consequences.  I understand how it is, and how run down you can feel with a demanding child.  Its tough, and easier to accept once you have a plan of action, and consequences in place.  He'll also get better if you lower your expectations, to get dressed, eat, shoes on, lets go.  Don't ask anything else, its easier to do it yourself, and causes less friction.  Don't argue with him, because it spirals out of control.   Good Luck  I do know how challenging and frustrating it is.There are some mornings that  I wonder why I keep doing it.  Most mornings there is time that if my son is so slow that I can drive them to school if they miss the bus.  Not this morning.  Every Tuesday morning I have my college class and I do not have time to drive him to school.  I get the kids up an hour and a half before they have to leave so there is plenty of time to eat and dress.  It took forever to get my ADHD son up and then he is on the I hate everything screaming and being mean rampage.  No one and nothing is safe this morning and he is griping that this and that hurts in hopes that I will keep him home.  Just not quitting.  He is I on the I can't routine about everything as well.  Screaming and crying about everything.  I just wonder why I keep trying.  This is morning two in a row that is like this and it just tired me out before I even get dressed.  I just want to crawl back in bed myself.  I am on antidepressants as it is and he just makes me so angry.  I just can't keep doing this every single morning.  I took TV time away in the mornings a long time ago.  I don't even watch the news in the morning.  It is not always this way but there are just some mornings that make me absolutely crazy.  We get everything ready the night before and all that but some times it is a fit to just get him out of bed.  I totally hear you on this issue....My son due to medication and putting foot down has done better but later year the school was going to try to pull the beca law on me and have me in court due to my son missing so much school.....because at the end i just gave up and well thank god they couldn't do that due to medical issues....but there is mornings where i just want to go back to work i work graveyards and then come home and deal with four children three go to school.....my son pulled this the other morning and well i h ate to admit but i was about to leave all children at home and leave that is how it feels but thank god i have people with me and around me to help me deal with this when i feel like i just cannot handle it any longerkristyolk, you are echoing my thoughts this morning.  DS wasn't angry and grumpy, but BUSY and LOUD, and I thought ... "your medication may be working okay for YOU, child, but I'm going to need some tranquilizers for myself!"

OMG, it was everything except the two things needed -- clothes on and teeth brushed. Very simple.

Clothes are ready to go. Backpack is ready the night before. Lunch is packed the night before. He's got over an hour to eat breakfast, put on clothes and brush his teeth. 

But it was apparently much more stimulating to slide headfirst and on his back down the stairs, across the hall, and then lodge his head between the French doors and pretend to be stuck.  Sigh.

I have such a hard time ignoring it and end up chasing him around with articles of clothing in an effort to make progress, but this only escalates things. More stimulation! Hooray!

This is why I work at home on my computer in a quiet little corner while he's at school.

Do you have a time/space where you can get away even a little bit and have some quiet? 
That's a good suggestion, oldtimer. We do bathing at night and lay out clothes then, too.

Just a suggestion:   Maybe if he doesn't cooperate and get himself ready in the morning you could make him go to his room for bedtime and hour earlier that night.  So that every morning that he's uncooperative he knows that his bedtime will come earlier that evening.  Sounds like something my mom would have done anyway.  Also my son is very slow if I allow the television to be on in the morning.  When the television is off, he's much faster.  Hope this helps.  I know it's upsetting and you can reach your breaking point.  I think we've all been there.  I've reached my breaking point more than I care to mention.  Hang in there.

I had to lesson the time here or kids wanted to play. We have clothes out night before. They eat 1 piece of fruit, Some protein, some grain. Makes for a quick breakfast. Baths before bed as well. Helps greatly this way. Vitamins in morning as well. We dont have TV time AT ALL in the mornings, my kids know to never even bother turning it on, cos it'll just get turned back off (at the wall power switch)  most of the time I switch it off at the wall before I go to bed, so he doesnt see me and throw a tantrum, they soon got over it, and mornings run so much better. We made a music CD on the computer and play that instead, makes them a whole lot happier when they sing, but I still have to stress to my ADHD 6 yr old son that we're running out of time cos he's very easily distracted and plays around a lot if I dont remind him what he needs to do next before he goes to school. We no longer need the 'what to do before school chart' on the fridge, but that was after  having one on there for about a year. Hi Kristy, My son was the same way before we started homeopathy. He was impossible to wake up in the mornings. Some days I would dress him while he was still sleeping. Anyway, not anymore. He did not mature or grow out of it. Homeopathy changed things. Most days he is the first one ready. He falls asleep easy and sleeps through the nite. No reward, threat, punishment of any kind could do what homeopathy did for us. Good luck! I hope that you find something that works. One thing is for sure, you will read lots and lots of good suggestions at this board.I've read that children with ADHD need routine, or it just makes everything worse for them. They have more trouble paying attention, they're more beligerant, more hyper, etc. That's probably why he acts that way on the mornings that you get them up early and all that. His routine is off. An ADHD friend of mine said once that ADHDers love spontenaity(sp?), but only if it's them doing it. When other are spontaneous, they hate it.

I know that doesn't help you, but maybe knowing why he's being so difficult will help.

Hi Kristyolk,

I can totally feel your pain. Been there, many times with my son: The King of Griping and Whining. The list on the fridge helps too ... some days. And meds have improved things big time. If your son is anything like mine, he just does NOT want to go to school, and will do whatever it takes to avoid that reality.

Just a thought... is there any way that you could build some kind of occasional, special incentive into your rough morning routine, that happens between leaving the house and getting to school? With a little extra time accounted for, of course. You didn't say how old your son is, so I have no idea what might work for him... Stop for a special snack of his choosing for recess from the convenience store (price predetermined of course); a hot chocolate from Starbucks; stop for 10 minutes to feed the ducks; whatever. My one older son got a kick out of starting the car, but obviously that wouldn't work for every child! If it's something small yet motivational that gives him more incentive to actually get out of the house, it may make for a couple of good mornings at least...

The timing may not be practical, but I just know from my own son's experience that some motivators need to be immediate - "you'll get your reward later" just doesn't always work to get them out of that state.

PB

I have my daughter set out her clothes the night before, and get anything else done that she can before she goes to bed.  I set a timer for her of mornings.  At times she still pokes, so I have told her if she misses the bus, and I have to drive her to school, I will ground her for a couple of days.  She likes to be on the go, so this is usually effective.