Romantic Obsessions? | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=isobel] Thank god people think I am insane and run away from me....
[/QUOTE]
Thats a good way to look at life! Love it!
Thank you for all your answers. I am happy to be here. I hope I'll be able to stick around.I was a real late bloomer, I had my first period when I was 15. Until I was 15 I had no romantic feelings about anyone, I had no idea what I was. I guess I am also a few years behind emotionally.
That sucks...I hated my teenager years. I just want to grow up... emotionally!
Even though people think that I am very mature, I am just doing things that people my age suppose to do. I went to school, I got a job I got married etc.
But still, I am flirting like crazy and running after people that I don't even know Just like a spoiled puppy. Thank god people think I am insane and run away from me...and nothing dangereous happens.
I think I know what your talking about.
Sorta happened to me.
Here's a link to my story.
http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14506& KW=ballad
Taritac,
It sometimes happens with real people. 8 years ago I stalked someone for months and did everything to make him my boyfriend. We're married now. (romantic) But unfortunately we're going downhill (real life)
I've spoke these things with my therapist she said, whenever I have a problem I tend to obsess with people. I've been watching my pattern for last two years and I realized she's right.
I don't stalk them,not anymore, since it's a crime and plus it's pathetic. But as you said I open my heart and god knows how many times I've been rejected...But everytime I forget how broken I was and live these things all over again...
The reason I started to think about this thing, again, I am obsessed with a guy I only saw once. But this time I know it will pass. Still I can't control it. I am looking at my screen for his emails all day...I hate being like this. I already told him, he asked me actually you saw me only one time why are you so into me? I said that happens, and explained it has nothing to do with him, and it will pass. I hope he understands and stays away...
Yep, I still got my obsessions at 34. I seem to pick a new celeb every couple years. I have come to realize that I use these obsessions to escape my real life. I don't really feel that pathetic about it, because I maintain perspective. It's a form of escapism that is less destructive than drinking or drugs. Also, I don't think it's really that uncommon. On fan sites, there seem to always be a few people who are in their 30's, 40's, or 50's. They have lives and kids and responsibilities, and seem to be well-adjusted people (well, as much as you can tell from a bulletin board).
isobel, are you talking about obsessions with real-life people? You probably need to find a way to keep that in check. Not only do you not want to creep people out (or worse, have them think you are stalking them), but you also can be needlessly opening up your heart to get hurt.
taritac38781.9518402778[QUOTE=kibbles002]
I read something from Dr. Russel Barkley that stated that ADDers have a tendency to be 30% less emotionally mature than other non ADDers of the same age.[/QUOTE]
...I always said I was a late bloomer!
These days there's something bugging me about myself. Is it just me or is is ADD. I can't be sure....
All my life I got obsessed with some people. I used to describe it as "falling in love at the first sight". When you're a kid or teen it's fine but when you're older it makes you look like a freak.
Sometimes they're celebs sometimes they're real people. I want to know everything about them can't think anything else but them...I know weird.
I have always been proud of myself for understanding human behaviours. But maybe when it comes to myself I am mistaken. I've thought maybe I am misreading the social cues? For example, when people wink at me once I believe that they love me and I love them back. Without even questioning...
Do you also have romantic obsessions?
Of course. I'm sure millions of people do because there are a million songs about it. It helps to "keep it real". I can think through it and distinguish facts from fiction and then act on the reality. It is incredibly easy to get caught up in a romantic obsession and daydream about it. It's much harder to realize "Hey, that ain't real". " Stick to facts, that helps keep you level. Check out the lyrics to Frankie J.'s "Obsession"
ADD thing, I don't know, but probably does have something to do with the chemicals in your head. Just about everything does. Or, perhaps it is normal?
I went through that up until my mid 30's I think. Thankfully, I finally grew out of it. I read something from Dr. Russel Barkley that stated that ADDers have a tendency to be 30% less emotionally mature than other non ADDers of the same age.
So at 40, that would mean that I had the emotional maturity of someone exactly your age: 28!
a 30 year old would act emotionally like a 21 year old. So technically my friend, if this theory is true, you still get to be a teenager!!
Quite frankly, I like this theory, when I'm 80, I'll still be thinking like a 56 year old.. might not be a bad deal 
Kibbles, you just made my day. I always took the emotional maturity thing in a negative way. As in I was less intelligent than my peers, but the way you think about it is just the way I feel!!!!
So at my age 30, I'm still 21 in my head? How cool is that, would also explain a lot for me too 
Welcome to the board Isobel 
I'm the exact opposite, I got my period when I was barely 9yo and have always been more mature than my peers, always, even in kindergarden (here thats until the age of 6yo) I got my eyes on boys when I was 10 in a way as a teenager think. But I had my debut much later for other reasons :-) I were reading teenagebooks when I was 9-12 after that I read books for grownups like political satire even though I wasn't at all in to politic. I debated with adults in an adult way before my 11th birthday. When I was 13 ppl thought I was 23 cos of the way I look, behaved and talked.
And I have totaly missed the part in my life when I'm supose to "stalk" celebreties. I was ok with only listen to their music and didn't care about their personal life. Even thou I'm a royalist (we have a royal family here) and don't care what the media say about them, what they have done or what trouble they have in their lovelife.
So *sigh* What does that make me but strange even in the AD/HD-world :-(
/Kaks
Hey! Great Idea!
Let's stalk sellebraties!!!
Is that like Hide and Seek?
Was that a cold war game training kids for the KGB?
Oh erotomania it's just like in the french movie, " he loves me he loves me not" that was really scary. Thank god I am not that bad.
I am so tired of going to therapy.I'll try to hang on for a while without it.
I'll just take deep breathes and wait until the butterflies in my stomach dies. After all they don't live that long, right?
Thank you for all your advices. It's really comforting to hear your opinions...
I have nobody to talk...
isobel - I have been thinking hard on your post as I didn't want to give advice that was either wrong or over the top. I knew I'd heard of studies of "stalkers" of celebrities that they have damage or at least overly active areas in the decision-making frontal lobe part of the brain just like OCD sufferers do. That makes sense since even with therapy most stalkers can't seem to stop their obsession with their target no matter what the consequences. Constantly "crushing" on people that have given no real precursor to romance sounds very much alike.
Actual stalking is very serious and called "Erotomania" - you don't have that it seems or you'd be very psychotic - so much that you'd be incapable of keeping even a somewhat normal life. Most likely you have some form of OCD combined perhaps with Asperger's Syndrome. That would make it hard (I believe I have it too) to catch the subtle or not-so subtle cues that people give when in conversations as to their intent.
As with most things - talk to a therapist if it is bothersome. Otherwise don't dwell on it - it's not so bad to feel that fast heartbeat when around people! I sometimes feel so jaded that I wonder if love is possible again. Then I think of my lovely lady and remember "oh - right it is possible!".
:) It's OK to follow them in cyberspace but if you get into their home you'll be arrested :)An amazing short film about this subject :) makes me laugh everytime.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/ddautta.php