ADD late 20’s early 30’s | ADHD Information

I was actualy diagnosed Hyperactive and LD as a child, but I asumed I had grown out of it. It just did not occure to me that I had adult ADD.

Intrestingly enough I knew all about ADHD as I was a special ed. teacher. I evan knew Adults could have it. I had read articles on adults with ADHD and thought THAT IS ME! Then I would just dismiss it and asume I was just looking for an excuse for my perceived lazyness. DUH how clueless could I get?

 It was not untill my 3rd child was born and I was realy not being able to hold it all together anymore that I finaly let myself think well mayby... Then it took me a year to get up the nerve to bring it up with DH. I figured he would think I was nuts. He simply said O.K. why don't you make an apointment with the doctor to disscuss it. 

My sister just happens to be a neuropsycologist, so I ask her opinion wether she thinks I might have ADHD, before spending over 1000 dollars to be tested, she says to me of course you do! Evan after all that I was almost positive the testing would show I did not have ADHD.

Denial ,Denial Denial, I guess I just didn't want to see it. Too bad as my life has been much, much, better since diagnosis.   

I think the reason a lot of us don't see the ADHD until our 20s or more to the fact here I see mid to late 30s is that we are supposed to be jeuvenile, hyper and unfocused as young adults.  It's expected of many that it's normal and it's only when you "grow up" - then don't grow up that people clue in that you aren't as normal as they originally thought.

I noticed only when my family on my father's side were pretty much all dead - and in very ADHD ways.  Once I began to see my own failures in context it all made sense.  Well that and an accumulation over 4 years of losing ex, child, business and family certainly.

 

for me i think it is slightly different.  i always realised i was slightly odd/different so had i known about ADD i think i would certainly have categorised myself as it - the first time i came across the description it was absolutely a 'eureka' moment of complete identification.

but the difference i think with growing-up --- is that you are FORCED to move on.  you get taller, you move into the next class, the structure is there to force you onward - you don't have a choice.  you go through class after class, upped every year until you get to University.  and then you have some freedom and that is maybe where it starts to fall down a bit....

the moment you aren't absolutely forced to continue progress - as an ADDer you can come to a complete grinding halt.  others make take some time to find their feet out in the world and so it may not be noticeable for the first few years of your twenties --- but slowly a big difference is going to be noticed between those that propel themselves forward (in terms of work/family/life/aspirations/goals) and those who stick drifting in the same place with no motivation skills at all.

with no proper grasp of time or structure or how to implement those in their own life - if they don't have an outside force doing it for them.  by the time you hit thirty and you are still floundering in a sidewater when everyone else is powering their boat on a distinct course ---- it becomes painfully obvious that you are missing some vital life skills here!

and that feeling of floundering/not understanding/not getting it/not coping will probably lead to a whole load of additional issues in turn.  depression, low self-esteem, crises of relationships, constant job loss, recurrent failure and so on and so forth.  leading you to be - and seem - and be a first-class loser in the eyes of society and to some extent (depending on how thick-skinned you are) in your own eyes too.

but everyone is different:  some ADHDers seem so different to me and perhaps it is the "H" that makes the difference ---- they seem to have a self-esteem you couldn't sink with a torpedo. 

no matter what the world has to say or how everyone else sees them - and never questioning if they could ever be in the wrong or blaming themselves or beating themselves up at all!  no, rather choosing always to see themselves as sinned against and never the sinner.  and i have no idea whether it is a front or it is for real!!!  and i guess it could just be a flipside of the same problem, or just is the same problem - but it SEEMS so different - you wonder how there could be any connection, let alone the same disease/same cure.

but i think it is.  i think it is just another coping mechanism which rather than helping - ends up being a huge negative.  bugzappers put it quite well, talking about reacting to the issues of ADD   "So as a result of this punishment that we have endured, we TUNE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE OUT. We dismiss what you say, and if it is critical of us, we ignore you. The reason, simple, self preservation."

maybe ADHDers harbour more anger (even if they try to conceal it) because they have the hyper-energy for it and ADDers harbour more resignation because they have so little hyper-energy.  i'm not sure.

so it's all swings and roundabouts - i guess.

chjones38787.1774652778chjones, in my opinion, that is a perfect description.  That is what happened to me and what happened to most of the ADHDers I know.

As for the "H" thing, let me see if I can expound on that.  I have the "H", the impossible-to-sink self-esteem.  I think this happens because I learn things so quickly most of the time.  I have high energy and take in every little bit of stimulation (even when I don't want to).  I can recognize patterns very quickly and draw relationships between things that may seem unrelated, getting me a lot of positive feedback from people I am around.  When I do something new, I become hyperfocused and absorb everything.  I KNOW I can do this - whatever "this" may be.

Unfortunately, that interest eventually goes and is replaced by something else.  The next thing I know, I'm off on some tangent and completely ignored what I was supposed to be doing.  I can't remember things like, oh, what I need to do.  But hey, I didn't get replaced by my friends or my job or my girl...I replaced them.  I still struggle with dealing with that "H" and am undecided on whether it is a + or a -.

A great example of the wandering "H" is a friend of mine, J.  J used to own his own martial arts school.  He built it up, then just walked away from it (gave it to a friend) and went to another country to lead a telemarketing group. After nine months, he came back home and led a construction team.  Now, he is a mortgage broker.  He was successful at all of these things, too, but has 0 security and 0 possessions.  Right when he becomes successful and it is time to reap the rewards, he is gone.  The challenge isn't there, so neither is the stimulation.  Oh, he got married and is now divorced, too.  His age?  22.
Because I started my career I see people learning about their AD/HD at all different ages.

yeah, I learned in my 40's... Another coworker actually kept bugging me to get tested. Especially when we went to a convention together and she saw me consistently walk the wrong way to our hotel room!  I still put it off..

When I started having problems on the job. that was it.. it was time to get tested. Maybe if I had started my professional career earlier, I might have discovered it in my 20's or 30's. ? So maybe it may coincide with entering the workforce?? Just a theory..

Sherry

My theory is that since our brains wander and work faster than the average person and we strive under hyper-focus mode, we get a lot of things done when crunch time hits.  Our bosses see we are smart and have that ability to work under pressure, so they give us more.  Eventually, it all comes crashing down and you get nothing done!

This type of thing repeats in your personal relationships and in your hobbies, in your school work...hell, in anything you do.  You get right to that point where the promised-land is visible, then you suddenly stop and go off to another place, project, or person.  When this happens a lot, you start asking questions because you are "curious"...after all, that's part of being ADHD.  We get the experiences and resources to look into it during our late 20's and early 30's.
Cos I couldn't live my life at 210% for longer time and crashed, professionals picked me up and initiated an investigation at the same time.

Perhaps it's that way, when you are around that age, life get so difficult that you realize your issues and start to notice of them in another way than you've done before *shrugg*

/Kaks
I really hadn't really noticed that I kept people as "enablers" around until my house was empty of people and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why , until I started to 'really' investigate my son's ADHD, and realised "why" I couldn't seem to get anything finished is others always reminded me (kept me focused) of what I was supposed to be doing that day! No one there to remind me now and defenses have broken down (the reason I realise Why I'm willing to take anti-depressants). So If I can remember (say a prayer?), I still have to call for confirmation and I'll be at the Dr. soon. Iv'e been livin mine at about 160% for 8 yrs. Got rid of the 'enablers', but I'm sure they'll testify I'm ADHD. My Ex is sure already.It seems as if alot come to the realization that ADD is a major issue in their late 20's early thirties. Why this age?