Lesbian with ADHD | ADHD Information

IMHO, I think I would wait and not disclose it the first appointment. Unless, during your conversation, you feel that it is important or pertinant to the diagnosis.

It is sad that in this day and age that there are still prejudices against gays. Don't get me started on the subject. I have 2 cousins that are gay as well as some friends and I find it sad what they have had to go through in their lives because of it.

You just never know and I agree with gettingagrip - it may be held against you. It isn't right, but it may happen.

Let us know how your appointment goes.

. . . Kim

I am a lesbian newly diagnosed with ADHD can anyone relate? I have a Doctors appoint. today and am nervous about wether it is pertinant to disclose my sexuallity w/ my physician. I am going to discuss poss. medications to start on and how my ADHD is effecting my life/relationship/work can anyone relate ?

harleyjak, I can't imagine why your sexual preference has anything to do with your ADHD. If you are comfortable with this physician and don't think there is any prejudice disclose this to them because you want to not because you need to. I hate to say this in the 21st century but if the doctor has personal feelings regarding homosexuality it might affect how they react and treat you. This should not happen but I am guessing you have experienced this in other situations. I am a heterosexual so this is only my humble opinion.

I wish you the best and hope you find a treatment plan that works for you. -Gettingagrip-

Thankyou for your reply but being gay believe it or not still comes with alot of prejudice in this day and age which unless you are gay you will never understand the amount of low self esteem and insecutity we feel as if having ADHD doesnt make you feel estranged from society being gay definantly does. I guess i'm just looking for answers to how the two together effects other lesbians in working, social, relationship situations.

good on ya harley - you are making the lesbian thing sound more appealing all the time - lol - Your okay - and I think we like the hetro men because if they know we are unavailable and unjudgemental they have a great time with women like us! We are a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll - yeah to the adhd girl.

Everyone should always be on a "Need to Know Basis" regarding everthing about our lives. Too many untrustworthy people in the world. (bit of negativity there but having a pretty sh*tty day)

I think it is delightful that you are a lesbian because it opens up many other half finished discussions that I have held on this forum.

1. Do you think that at the next mardi gras they could incorporate an Gays with ADHD float - lol this would incorporate the discrimination not only of gays but people with mental illness and/or behaviour problems. We would hold an ADHD parade ourselves - but I dont think any of us could get organised to do it - lol.

2. I have always been more comfortable in the company of men - I am hetro but I am not very mentally femine. I think more male, and understand men better. Women drive me nuts with all the emotional stuff. I wonder if this is because of the ADHD. Perhaps being more laterally minded makes me more masculine minded - does anyone else experience this.

Your sexual presference should have nothing to do with your adhd. Don't worry girl, even though you may feel like your mind is taking over, your heart and soul will never give in.

I, too, have always gotten along with men much better. I don't know why. I always thought I was rather "tomboyish" growning up. Don't know if it has anything to do with the ADHD or not. I never thought to put the two together, but perhaps there is a connection. Interesting thought!

. . . Kim

I can see where there may be a connection since most Lesbians do not really care to be around men but most of my friends are straight men. I know my exp. Ironically even though im a gay women tend to get on my nerves more with all the complaining and drama and emotions. I've always lacked in the empathy department and have noticed when women get to gether they are always backstabbing or having issues with another women in a group where as when I hang out with the guys every one just wants to chill and have a good time. Bye the way I took my first dose of Adderall XR 10 mg. I feel like I could get alot accomplished today at least I do right now.

Speaking of women with ADD. I keep reading women have different symptoms then men. Even though I am a guy, I was very interested to understand the differences. I would suspect I have searched for hours and have still not got a clear understanding of the differences.

Regarding women associating better with men. In my effort to communicate better with women and be a better understanding and listening partner I've noticed one key difference. Statistically I've read several articles that women speak something like 12000 words per day, I think men averaged 8,000 words per day. In my opinion women tend to be more open and sensitive then men. I've read that ADD men are more sensitive then non ADD men. There are also different types of listeners. I think men in general may listen (or not listen) and give less advise. Many times people don't want advise, they just want to be heard.

Back to my original question. How are women having ADD different then men having ADD? Any clear differences in symptoms?

I tend to get along with men better also. I definetely don't have alot of compasion or tolerance towards just about everyone. Kimo, I read somewhere when I was doing ADHD research that one of the clues to girls who have ADHD (since it seems more difficult to diagnose when the hyper part isn't there or at least is more subtle than for boys) is that they are tomboys. INTERESTING.....

Thanks for sharing that Gettingagrip! I did not know that. And I definitely was hyperactive as a child. Still am! Well, when my meds wear off.

Hi! Harley,
I have just come across this posting and can understand your fear of rejection.
I will say this, where in law does it state that one must reveal gender orientation or
sexual preference to indicate suitability/unsuitability for work in an Admin Job such
as yours. Ability to the task set, in a reasonable fashion is the only criteria that I am
aware of. On being hyperactive, I know from personal contact, six women who are
extremely hyperactive and scatter heads with it. They are working in responsible positions and none of them have been fired at any stage of their working lives.
Of the six, one is divorced while the rest are in marriages ranging from 27 yrs down to 11 yrs.

So hyperactivity is manageable and is mostly seen as a trait of a minority of
people that is tolerated but commented on as Ah! that's just "Anne" she never stops.
Well that's my response to your posted consern. O! before I forget, Welcome on board, Harley.
Ryan 1950.
I have a lesbian friend who is also ADD... I'm not sure what your sexual orientation would have to do with ADD??????

Hey Harley.

I'm female, straight, and feel uncomfortable around girls. Not insecure. Just unable to relate often. I was always the spunky messy troublemaker. Trixie from Problem Child Two. In sleepaway camp, I would raid bunks and collect bugs. In college, I would sometimes drop classes if the teachers were female, because I've generally found that male teachers have been much more tolerant of sloppiness. Get the grade, then the lateness doesnt matter. Make a stupid comment, and he'll laugh.

Despite my own generalizations, when I see books like "Men Are From Mars..." I get very sad and frustrated, because I think that they spread huge generalizations about 50% of the population. Even if it's true that most girls like pretty things, are emotional, and make sympathetic moms, fake info coming from these stupid "Doctors" hurt the minority of non girly girls who wind up getting treated in ways that they don't like.

Wait this is off topic.

It should not have anything to do with ADHD but you know any psyc that I have ever seen sooner or later goes into the sex questions. I am hetero but have issues from childhood regarding molestation so it seems that always comes into the picture somehow. I do not think they are related. I hope you have a good doctor that you feel comfortable with and that you can share it.I was never a "tomboy". I always had tea parties with teddy bears? go figureI hear you Laurala!! I wish my husband would understand that more! He always says, "Well, someone has to be the woman in this relationship..." Of course he is referring to himself because he knows I'm not very girly....

Yup - me either, I never got the whole girly thing. Only wear make up when I really have to. But I feel like I miss out on something sometimes. One of my daughters is really girly and I wish I could get into it with her and enjoy it. But I just feel like I am wasting time and money. Beautiful enough without all that!.

I am another woman who usually prefers the company of men, or else of women who are like me. I don't "get" the catty comments and that weird laugh that means "I know something you don't." I like straight up w/no hurt feelings, thank-you.

But then, I've always felt like I was from another planet anyway.

rainraven

[QUOTE=gettingagrip]I was doing ADHD research that one of the clues to girls who have ADHD (since it seems more difficult to diagnose when the hyper part isn't there or at least is more subtle than for boys) is that they are tomboys. INTERESTING.....[/QUOTE]

Hey that is cool research: I always was a total tomboy. People always mistook me for a boy, and I loved boyish things as a child. I still am not into high heels and the likes

[QUOTE=WAKI]

Back to my original question. How are women having ADD different then men having ADD? Any clear differences in symptoms?

[/QUOTE]
On the comment by WAKI, "ADD men are more sensitive then non ADD men"
i have found that to be true in my own case. I have found that women i have
met, saying to me it surprises them. I have, as i got older tried to be a better
listener. The other comment, "Many times people dont want advise, they just want
to be heard". With those who are going through the process of finding out if what
they are contending with is ADD/ADHD, unloading, ranting is an important part
of that process. That is why it is important to be a good, patient listener. It is
great that boards such as this exist as they too are part of that same process.
This applies to family, kids, Spouses, siblings, parents, teachers and all those
in contact with this process.

[QUOTE=madhdline]

Hey that is cool research: I always was a total tomboy. People always mistook me for a boy, and I loved boyish things as a child. I still am not into high heels and the likes

[/QUOTE]
Hi! madhdline,
It is great to see another European on the board, welcome!.
I find this women's experience of ADD/ADHD facinating as so little is known
about it in Ireland. I am in a support group where i live and am always searching
for practical information. This board is great for that. Am also looking for other
peoples experiences of living with ADHD in different countries. What is the
situation like in your country. I am sure there are others on the board who are
interested as well!

[QUOTE=ryan1950] It is great to see another European on the board, welcome!.
I find this women's experience of ADD/ADHD facinating as so little is known
about it in Ireland. I am in a support group where i live and am always searching
for practical information. This board is great for that. Am also looking for other
peoples experiences of living with ADHD in different countries. What is the
situation like in your country. I am sure there are others on the board who are
interested as well!
[/QUOTE]

Yes! For the adhd & Europe lets start a new thread, otherwise we will be going completely off-topic on this one :-)