Thank you for your replies. He was diagnosed by his pediatrician, who then referred us to a child psych to make sure there wasn't any underlying issues. We met with her several times and she also tested him and came back with the same result. When I say "fits", I mean tantrums, drama, etc. No rages, he's never been violent. He's been on 20 mg of Adderall XR as it is a nightmare to get him to take pills, he has a terrible gag reflex and this was the best scenario as we could break the capsule apart and put the little "balls" inside of the meds into a spoon of ice cream...approved by his dr, as long as he doesn't crunch them, which he doesn't.
With that said, his biggest problem at school is staying on task, carelessness and speed. He races thru his assignments to avoid bringing them home for homework and could care less if he doesn't answer all of them. I've been in contact with both teachers today, one of which is more willing to help me by providing an incentive for him to turn his assignments in complete and correct (whatever standard my husband and I want to set...not stressing 100%) I don't know if this will work or not, but I guess it's worth a try.
He hates to take his meds, even though he knows it helps him. He's a nightmare off of them, the annoyance factor is WAY too high...is that terrible to say? The dynamics of the house is all messed up and he makes poor choices. For example, over the weekend he thought it would be a good idea to take real eggs, color them, then play with them..of course I find it after he and his sisters had broken them open, all over the carpet. Arghgh!
Okay, maybe I'm just rambling...but I appreciate your suggestions.
Thanks again!
Kathy
Hello! I'm desperately searching for help. My son was diagnosed with ADHD in First Grade, he's now 9 and in 3rd grade. He's been on Aderall XR since diagnosis. 3rd grade has become such a frustration with us. It is his first year of receiving "real grades" and he has a teacher (former 7th grade teacher) who is very demanding on the kids and pushes them hard. He has struggled all year with completing assignments, not turning things in, etc etc. Last quarter, we set up a meeting with the teachers and our son to talk about what we could do to help him out. His main problem, he likes to be the first one done and doesn't care what grade he gets or even if he completes the assignment. We have talked about this until we are blue in the face, but it has done no good....he can't get past it. I am at a loss on what to do now, grade cards came home yesterday and he is barely skatiing by and he doesn't even care! His treasured items are his Gamecube and computer, my husband thinks we should take those from him until the end of the school year. But I'm not sure what it would accomplish, other than setting off a fit. He attends a private school, so I'm unsure what our IEP abilities are, if I should pursue one, or what. any thoughts, I'm desperate!
Thanks!
Kathy
Welcome occhip,
Im sorry to hear that your child continues to have these struggles but a few questions come to mind. How effective do you think ADHD medication has been for him? What type of doctor diagnosed him?
There can be a multitude of reasons why your child is still struggling to this degree and what I think you need to do is explore the reasons why. Your child may not be on the right medication or the target dose, he may have a co existing condition besides Adhd (an example would be an learning disability) or perhaps your child was misdiagnosed. Also, if your child truly does just have Adhd, medication alone will not effectively manage the symptoms of Adhd for many and other tools and interventions are needed.
Your child may also be dealing with issues of low self esteem and while it appears as though your child isnt trying or doesnt care, he probably views himself as a failure and if hes not able to keep up with the academic workload and/or grasp it, he probaby rushes through because he figures its all wrong anyway.
I am not a doctor nor do I know your child but what I do know is that the child should not be punished for what he has no control over. Negative reinforcement will only exacerbate his already existing problems, they wont work and they will just further debilitate his feeling of low self worth. What I suggest you do is get a second opinion by a clinician trained in the field of diagnosing and treating childhood disorders. You need to get a formal, accurate diagnosis and when that is done, your child needs to be in an enivroment whereas the school he attends is able to provide him with the accomodations he needs to succeed and flourish and together with the doctor you can devise a treatment plan that works for your son and his truly tailored to his needs. Please provide us with more info as there are many here who could provide you with great suggestions and put you in the path of getting the right help for your child. In the mean time, hang in there mom
I agree that you should take away priviliges and be consistent. They need to learn there are consequences to their acts. One thing is that they have a hard time focusing and getting things done and another is not even care about it. If he doesn't care about the grades, he will care about the privileges he is loosing. But also create the incentive to win those precious things back if he shows CONSISTENT improvement. Don't give in inmediately, do something like first few weeks without gamecube (not negotiable) and then he could get it back if he shows he imrpoves his grades. It works for us. Of course easer said than done.
Good luck
My son did not do well in a private school. My daughter, who has LD's, also didn't. Maybe the school setting isn't good for him. In certain states, like ours, accomodations don't apply to private school. If he is throwing fits, I'd want to test him for other things at a NeuroPsych's office, depending upon the severity of the rages. Rages are not a part of ADHD, especially if they are constant and a reaction to "no." Could be more than ADHD. ADHD meltdowns are shorter in duration and not deliberately destructive. Maybe you need to talk to a professional and see where you son may best fit in.Welcome, Kathy! My first suggestion is that you take away the gamecube or limit it severely along with TV and computer. He'll throw a fit, but it will subside after a time. It's hard for even an ADHD kid to keep up a tantrum for 3 months. Your punishments shouldn't be limited by his tantrums. I know because me son will still occasionally pitch a fit about a punishment and he's in 7th grade. I've found that if my son knows there will be consequences to his actions, he thinks a little more about doing stuff. I'll threaten a punishment (always something I can and am willing to do) and then I ask him "Does mom keep her promises?" He gulps and says yes because I always follow through. I think follow through is the most important part of a punishment.