ADD and Adderall questions | ADHD Information

Ryan buddy - so sorry about what you've been through.

Rest assured you are so NOT alone.

Me - I had my one chance at being a dad dashed on the rocks with a miscarriage.  My own psycho (well bipolar) ex.  A thriving corporation hit the skids and destroyed.  All gone.

My meds helped me a lot.  My therapy more.

Even with the help and improvement I'll admit to you I've obsessed.  It's something until now I haven't admitted here to the group but they may have guessed.

I obsess still (but not so much) about my lost son.  Yes I found out during the removal of the miscarriage as I held my ex's hand when she nearly bled to death during her purging of this.  The doctor came in and told me I'd lost a son.  I still cannot comprehend why this doctor decided it was a good time to let me know that not only had I lost my only chance at being dad but also at having a son to carry on my name. 

I obsessed strongly for a long time.  What ifs, whys, projecting my hopes and fears ahead of me.  A very long time.

Now I still think about my lost son a lot.  But it's in perspective for the most.  It hurts still to this day.  My son would now be 4 1/2 years old.  I feel the loss now as if it was yesterday.  But I can now face the world and put the sadness aside when needed.

It gets better.  The loss of anything - relationship, child, - loses the strength and becomes more a ghost than a monkey on your back.  When is mostly up to time.

Be assured it will pass. 

Ok well I am not really sure if this is off topic or not but here it goes.  To start off with I am a 26 year old biomed enginerring student and I have been taking adderall for about 2 years since being diagnosed with ADD.  The medicine has helped me in so many ways that I can not even begin to describe.  My grades are stellar, I get more done at work, I can concentrate on one task at a time etc...  I do have some other problems however, that I have not been able to comunicate with my primary care physician.  I went through a pretty tramatic time about a year and half ago.  I went through a horrible breakup with my phsycotic, mentally abusive ex girlfriend while watching my brother destroy himself with hard drugs.  I felt completely helpless with the situation and I nearly drove myself crazy over-anylizing my busted relationship the ex.  Over the past year or so I have developed a worsening problem that is really inteferring with my quality of life.  I get really nervous in crowded areas  such as my classroom and I have become terrified of public speaking.  Almost to the point of taking an 'F' versus delivering the presentation.  This behaviour is not normal for me.  I also find it very dificult making eye contact with anyone during conversation.  I often find myself staring downward while trying to engage in conversation.  If the person is in an authoritative role, it only magnifies my inability to make eye contact.  Even conversations with friends are difficult now.  I almost feel like people are able to see every bad thing that I have ever done by looking me in the eye and I almost get a sence of shame.  I have no idea where this is coming from and its not like I have anything out of the norm to feel guilty about.  To make matters worse, here lately I have been turning into a hypokondriac (sp?), self diagnosing myself with major illnesses based on google searches.  In the past 3 months, I have went from HIV to Heart Desiese to the latest scare which was Colorectal cancer.
My doctor ran a CDC on me and told me that I was slightly anemic and asked if I had a history of colon cancer in my family.  Then I found out that my grandfather died of that disease and until today I have been scared ****less. 

I stopped taking adderall for over a month and the symptoms really did not change, although I was less worried about death from serious illness.  I quickly realized though how much  adderall has changed my life for the better  despite  other problems I  am having.

I can deal with almost anything, but I was once a very outgoing person and now my communication skills are deterierating by the day.    Is anyone else having problems similar to this?  Should I be on any adjacent medication?  Any input would be greatly apreciated. 

Sorry for the long post, but I had to get this off my chest some how.  I am also very thankful that I found this board.

Ryan
You need to see a psychiatrist or psychiatric nurse practitioner rather than your primary care doctor. I seems as though you are exhibiting other symptoms that may not be related to Adderall but due to life stresses. It is important that you see someone in the psych field that can evaluate you. I am a psychiatric nurse practitioner student who also is struggling with ADHD. I hope this advice is helpful.

Ryan, You're tellin my story.  I'm 44 now, but been battling similar issue since I was around your age and had some emotional trauma and life changes, etc.

I was recently diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and ADHD.  I was treated for years with anti-depressants but was reluctant to go to therapy. I thought I could fight it myself, which I have overcome some of the anxiety issues and panic attacks alone, but I have alot further to go to get myself back to being balanced.  Your symptoms sound like anxiety rather than depression, but that's my opinion.   The symptoms can be very similar or even overlap.  I just started taking Adderall xr but my doc wants to keep me on Celexa as well for the anxiety and I've agreed to start therapy soon. 

 

 

Hey Nick, I really apreciate your post.  I am glad that I am not the only one who has been through the eye contact thing.  It is wired as hell and and every time I focre myself to look at somone in the eye, I feel like they know that I am thinking about it and then I do not even listen to what the person is saying lol... Then I get discouraged and hyperfocus on it all damn day until the problem gets worse.   I saw a new doc today and she upped my dossage of adderall from 20mg once daily to twice daily and she gave me xanax to help me chill the heck out.  She also put me on Effexir (sp?).  I must say 15 minutes after taking that xanax I felt the best that I have felt in weeks, possibly months.  I am really calm and relaxed tonight and it feels great. 

I had to give up the drinking and going out all the time as well.  I havnt been out in about a month because I thought that partying and drinking may have contributed to my problems.  I also quit smoking about 2 months ago after smoking since 16. 

Your right about the excercise thing too.  I play basketball in the summer and it does help relieve alot of stress.  It helps to release all of those chemicals in the brain naturally.  Someone told me that a prolonged cardio work out releases 7 times more seratonin than an anti depressent.  Has anyone else heard this before ?

Anyway thanks for all the replies.  This is a great forum.
Kerby,
If you can, really search to get a reference for a good psychiatrist. Perhaps you can be prescribed an antidepressant with the adderall.

I was depressed starting in middle school. I could not look at people in the eye. I just suffered in silence.

The first psychologist I went to once in my 30's was terrible. I just went to someone on the list. Then years later, when I was 40, I got a good referenceand went to someone who has helped me a lot to understand myself and work through some events in my life that I would obsess over. I should have gone much sooner to sort things out, so I encourage you not to wait.

Ryan,

It seems as though you are suffering from depression. Let me ask you a few questions. Do you ever have crying spells for no reason? Do you find that you don't enjoy the things you used to since all of this has happened. Do you feel like you have no control over situations? Are you having mood swings? Do you mostly have down days? Think about these.

You have been through a lot. Breakups are hard and it is not easy to watch your brother abuse drugs. I am a recovering alcoholic so I know how hard substance addiction is on families. Have you ever considered going to alanon? Sometimes these support groups can be helpful but you must shop around and there will be certain meetings that you like.

I really think that you need a professional to talk to. I suggest you see a therapist whether a psychologist, social worker, mental health counselor that is part of a mental health practice. Be sure to find one that is attuned to the difficulties with ADHD. Find a center that also has a psychiatrist or nurse practitioner there that can prescribe any medications.

I hope this helps. I also suffer from depression and have been on a SSRI for 6.5 years. I still go to therapy too. You need to take some action and get some help. These things are too big to try to solve on your own. If you don't mesh with a particilar therapist or psychiatrist then you have the right to change providers.

Good luck!!

I do feel like I have lost the ability to have fun anymore.  Friends of mine go on trips and do things and I can not picture myself really having a good time so I pass on the offer.  Everything just kinda seems like blah.   The biggest thing that is killing me though is the eye contact.  I make very brief eye contact and then look away.  It has become an obsession and it is on my mind all day.  WTH is wrong with me lol.  I used to be a happy, confident person. 

I am going to take your advice and seek professional help.  I will be checking with my insurance tommorow to locate a good phsychiatrist in my area.  Hopefully I can get somewhere with a new doc.
Thank you very much for your replies.  Glen, I am sorry for your loss.  That is awful.  I can only imagine how much more difficult my life would be if I had to deal with a loss like that.  It would probably send me over the edge. 

mrsmikey, I do not think that my problems stem from the meds at all.  In fact adderall has helped me tremendously in many ways.  Even when I spent a few months off of it, the problems lingered as well as all the old problems that adderal has helped.   I have been back on adderall now for about a month and am back to concentrating on school and stocks .  

I agree that I need to see a psychiatrist, but I am not sure how to communicate to him in a discussion about the way I feel.   I did visit a phsycologist about a year ago and did not like how it went.  The conversation was too vague.  To bad there are no concrete solutions to problems like these.  Maybe that is why I like engineering so much.

I think I am going to write an essay about the way I feel and spend a while working on it so that I do not leave any information out and then make an appointment to see a psychiatrist and just hand it over.  Maybe this will be the easiest way to get the point across ?

Ryan,

You are not alone. I went through a very similar experience 3 years ago....I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16 and have been on a multitude of different medications since. I feel like ADHD is often comorbid with other problems like anxiety and depression. It sounds like you suffer from these things too. The best advice I can give you is that there isn't ONE solution. The best thing you can do is attack these problems from a variety of angles. If you commit to them I guarantee that you will feel better..

Here is my story (brief): Senior Year of College I started feeling really panicky when I had to deliver a speech or even talk in front of a group of people. When somebody called on me in class I was afraid my hands or neck would shake. When I had to get up in front of the class I felt like I was going to have a panic attack and freak out. I always felt nervous, but it had escalated out of my control. At the time I was afraid and worried about everything. I was on adderall for studying but couldn't take it because it exacerbated my problems. The following is a short list of pointers I can give you.

LIMIT OR CUT OUT ALCOHOL INTAKE: Eventually I realized that these panicky feelings had to do with my diet, my lack of exercise and my alcohol intake. Recently I quit drinking and realized that I feel much better/ have more energy. IN addition these panicky feelings have really subsided. Alcohol can really increase your anxiety

NEUROFEEDBACK: In addition I should also mention I started doing a therapy called 'Neurofeedback' which helped me immensely. I can get into this more later. Basically its an alternative therapy where you alter your brainwaves by manipulating features on a computer screen. It has really helped me relax.

MULTI-VITAMIN: May I also recommend taking a multi vitamin. A lot of times I feel calmed and less anxious when I take a multivitamin in the morning.

The biggest thing for me though was to cut out the drinking of alcohol. Eventually I realized that my panicky feelings occured because my equilibrium was really sensitive to alcohol.

EXERCISE/GOOD DIET: Things that I highly recommend for you: exercise, good diet (lots of fruit and veggies), I eat an apple every morning and it really helps my energy level for the whole day

There are more things you can do like: anti-depressants, therapy etc. that will help, but I just wanted to let you know what helped turn my life around.

Good Luck,

Cameron

 

Hey Ryan - I feel for ya buddy. I've had very similar things go on so I can totally relate. Incredibly similar actually. 27 here, used to be much more outgoing, socializing becomes more and more difficult, etc. Not saying at all that your situation is Adderall related, in fact so far I'm happy with it. However, in college I was on Ritalin then Concerta, and I noticed over a period of time the stuff made me nervous as hell in social situations, paranoid, timid, AND for a while I had the eye-contact issue. My eyes would well up when I made contact and I'd have to look away ( I know...strange.) Also did the hypochondriac thing (but not quite as bad as you )

I agree with mrsmikey, sounds like you may have depression. I know it sucks to have to consider going on additional medication, but it may (or may not) be something that will really help. Took me a few years to take the plunge, but better off now.

I can also relate to your psychologist story. The first one I went to in college just sucked. We had no rapport, couldn't communicate. I let the one bad experience cloud my judgements regarding shrinks and therapy, which you can't do. So...after a little searching I found a great psychiatrist. He's awesome, and the therapy is ridiculously helpful. Now I'm taking small does of an AD (Wellbutrin) and the Adderall. I'm not saying the AD is necessarily a cure-all, but I certainly don't have the eye-contact, paranoia issues anymore. Much better off generally. Also, exercise is HUGE for me. And I miss all the partying with my friends but unfortunately, laying off the booze helps me a lot too.   

Just remember: it can and will get better. Try to be patient in finding a good, knowledgable Doc that you like and trust. If you feel that they don't know very much about the meds or won't take time to work with different scenarios, then move on to the next one. And everyone is different and will benefit from different things - medications, dosages, etc. Just gotta find your niche. Hang in there bud.

GlenW - Rough story man, sorry to hear it. You give great advice on here... I enjoy reading your posts.