New ADHD Relationship | ADHD Information

[quote]What can I expect from someone with ADHD since I know so little about it? [/quote]

Yikes. Almost anything.

I hate to say that for fear of discouraging you. I hope someone will love me, and be willing to deal with me. I know that I am forgetful and things, but I dated an ADHD guy and he was completely out of control. I had to cut bait, ultimately.

The problem with him was his unwillingness to see that just because he thinks something doesn't make it true or a good idea. He thought his rambling ideas were amazing; he dominated the conversations; he self medicated with alchohol and pot. He knew he was ADHD but did not see the connection.

I am constantly trying to handle my things, so I hope that makes me an acceptable candidate to find a great guy. I will find out what really bugs him and try to work on it...or at least give him an idea of what to expect. I just wasn't willing to accept this guys "quirks."

Good thing, too...turns out one of his idiosyncrasies was to find 22 year old girls also.

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bluebird3838226.3302430556

Well I consider myself, devoted, loyal, helpful, supportive, happy, cheerful, ingenious, intelligent, creative, lateral thinker, unconditional lover, and the good things go on.

Yes I have my issues and quirks but hell there is something not perfect about everbody, Just weigh the pros and cons and if the pros are moreso - go for it.

Rae70

Hello,

I recently met and am starting a relationship with a man who is ADHD. He seems too good to be true and seems to appreciate my morals and spiritual values. What can I expect from someone with ADHD since I know so little about it?

Thanks!

hmmm,

just don't blame him if he forgets to call you (my gf has gone 400km from here last friday and i knew i had to call her, but i was procrastinating...) or if he forgets your birthday

just don't blame him if he forgets to call you (my gf has gone 400km from here last friday and i knew i had to call her, but i was procrastinating... and when she called me yesterday i felt so confused

) or if he forgets your birthday

[QUOTE=realdeal]

Hello,

Thanks!

[/QUOTE]

One good thing about us ADHDers is the fact that we are passionate.

I bet it will be fairly easy for him to reveal his "true" emotions. That is not necessarily a bad trait though. Now that I am more stable with my medications, she can now joke with me a little about it now. Before it was not a fun topic to joke about.

ADHD people are primarily ruled by the emotional part of their brains. That is where most of our decisions are made. When we begin taking medication "methylphenidate" then communicates with the frontal lobe which is in charge of "logical" and more calculated decision making. However not all men realize we have a "frontal lobe!" My wife would more than likely agree with me on this one as well! I might be more apt to use my frontal lobe now but, IT DOES NOT MEAN I WILL!!!!

Well I was in a relationship 8 yrs with ADHD and while I may drove some insane my SO got *use* to it. He said it never bothered him. I moved out months ago and we are trying to work some issues out that have nothing to due with ADHD and he has actually been to some group ADD sessions with me and liked them. He has anxiety at times and so we seem to *understand* each other. I am definitely more *emotionally* driven. Which can be good/bad.

I drove his kids nuts with a 1000 questions all the time and I liked things a certain way and in a certain place.

The group sessions I attend one man is having difficulties in his marriage with forgetfulness, but at least he is trying and attending group sessions. I don't really see SO's at the mtgs and I think it would be good to get a better understanding of how an ADD/ADHD personality exists.

Many many people with ADD are very compassionate, creative, intelligent, and generally fun people to be around. Also, there are many different types of ADD and not everyone has all of the same symptoms nor to the same degree.

You may want to read a couple of books on Adult ADD.

What I am an expert on is my own life. I have ADD and my wife does not. I have a VERY difficult time with scheduling, organizing, and managing/comprehending time. I have gone literally years with the full intention of scheduling a night out for just my wife and I without being able to actually line up a baby-sitter, make a reservation, etc. If my wife organizes something, it is fine and we go out and have a great time. But she never had me remember to ask her about that tough meeting she had that day, or how her friend in the hospital is doing, or to remember the hundreds of other things that most women find very important in a relationship. My brain just never worked that way. So she was very neglected for many years.

Of course it is important to note that we had been married 20 years before I was ever diagnosed, so we never understood why it was this way. I am on medication now and it makes it better, but the damage has been done.

I guess my advice is to learn as much as you can about ADD, do not expect that you can somehow change this person. Make sure he is recieving treatment and working to manage the ADD. This makes it better, but it does not go away. So make sure you can deal with those symptoms (forgetting things, lack of focus, seemingly rude comments, etc.). if you can overlook this and not take it personally, you may be able to enjoy the diamond beneath.