Jasper's mom, my heart goes out to you. My DS was 5 as well before we got our diagnosis and were finally able to have a name for all the stuff DS was going though. Hang in there, once you know for sure it's a relief because you can finally stop wondering and worrying and start problem solving .
For behavior modification, a lot of people on the board have had success with ogram's marble sysem - http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14605& PN=4
There's also a current thread for book recommendations to check out on this board that may help with some background reading and strategies. Also, prior to an official diagnosis, check out the Alternatives to Meds section and see what results you can get with diet change and supplements.
Jen,
I don't have any advice for you right now but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I also have a five year old son who is in the process of being evaluated by the school pyschologist for ADHD. Everything you said in your post looks like it could have been written by me...struggles with homework, meals, etc. It is absolutely exhausting and I feel like a witch sometimes for losing my temper when I know he cannot help it. I also feel like I have been neglecting my 4 year old daughter while we are spending so much time trying to help my son. Lots of guilt!!
Jean
Hang in there Jen! My son is almost 7 and was diagnosed at 5. It has been a tough road, and I suspect there are many more bumps to contend with! It is very frustrating sometimes and I too have "lost my cool" on occassion and then feel guilty for snapping. I am finding that is normal for us parents of ADHD kids - and I suspect normal for most parents. I am working on an attitude shift right now - finding the brighter side of ADHD. I mean really, our children with ADHD have so many amazing qualities that they might not otherwise have if they weren't ADHD. My son is VERY smart, has a wonderful personality (most of the time), is very outgoing, has a ton of energy (I sometimes wish I had his energy), he is an amazing storyteller, a great soccer player. Just so many wonderful things to focus on to take your mind off the negative aspects of ADHD and help you through the difficult days. Just remember, a diagnosis of ADHD is not the end of the world! It is just another life challenge that will have to be dealt with. And remember, dealing with it now while they are young will likely save us all from many problems during the teen years! I am also in the process of finding a local support group so that I have a place to vent and learn from other parents. I think that kind of support and affirmation is key! Keep up the good work of being a mommy!