At my wits end! | ADHD Information

Sounds like it is time to seek testing with a child psychiatrist or neuro psych, I second the recommendation of  'The Explosive Child.  You can get some great information here http://www.conductdisorders.com/.

OMG the behaviour in the morning that everyone has been describing is exactly my son all over.He was diagnosed with adhd at 5 and a half he is now 9.i thought i was the only 1 who went through this every day.Our kids have certain rules no video games,dvds,cartoons or computer before school.Daniel still doesnt like it and tries every morning to get me to let home on the PC,But we have stuck to our guns and no to everything in the AM LOL

Nice to know im not the only 11 who has dramas like this in the AM was beginning to think it was just daniel.Nice to know its not

lisa

xoxo

Morning problems got better once  I started giving him Ritalin about 15-20 minutes before his normal wakeup time.  He used to like a cereal bar with it, or some banana.  He'd go back to sleep. Then when he actually woke up it was easier for not only him but everyone else at home.  

Having enough time to go through a morning routine to make the morning more enjoyable helps too.

When he was a toddler (pre diagnosis) it always seemed that he would have a much better day if he had enough quiet, close contact time with me sitting on the couch reading or doing something.  He was much more unsettled if we didn't have that morning time together.  It was reassuring and grounding.  Walking to school if possible seemed to be another thing that helped ground him in the morning.

At 17, he still loves long "good morning hugs" when he wakes up. 
jfla238804.9677777778Mornings are bad here too.  We started a poker chip system, similiar to marbles and that has helped some.  I do not understand why they resist so much when they have to do the same things every morning.  It's not like I have never told him to get dressed before in his life.  You would think a tooth brush is a torture device!We tried a sticker chart for three months... no way. He didn't care if he
got a sticker, but on a bad morning just being told that he had not earned
a sticker would send him into meltdown, so I couldn't hold it over his
head to get him to make the right choice. When he earned enough
stickers for his reward, he wouldn't notice. So I would give him his
reward, snack money for school. He would be thrilled. Then he would lose
the money, but not remember until I picked him up for school and asked
him what he got for snack. Then he would realize that he had lost it and
have another meltdown. I stopped the chart and it took him three weeks
to even notice.

Still looking for solutions here.I find that by giving my son plenty of time to get ready is the answer to morning problems.  We start at 6-6:30-(school starts at 8:20)shower,breakfast or last minute homework.  If there is time left he may play video's etc...My adhd child does not do well when hurried or things are misplaced. If you can help him get organized the night b4 this will help tremendously.  The biggest thing I can do for my son is teach him organizational skills because most adhder misplace everything and have a hard time remembering what they did 5 minutes b4.  Lots of patience goes along way.

Have you tried giving him a reward daily instead of giving him stickers and letting it build up?

Then as he "gets it" you can move it to every other day, then every few days, then maybe once a week.

In my home, there is NO electronics (TV, games, music) and NO toys until they are up, dressed, fed, teeth brushed and ready for school. I took all the toys out of their bedrooms and put them in a toybox downstairs. They have no televisions in their rooms. The Playstation sticks are removed nightly and locked up with the Game Boys. They have no access to anything.

Obviously, with Dylan (my Bipolar child), this caused meltdowns in the beginning (I started this almost 2 years ago). Big ones. But, I stood firm and let him know the meltdowns were a waste of time. Although it took him almost 3 months to really "get it" - he did, but I had to stay consistent, firm and maintain a "flat affect" attitude.

Not saying it's easy - the meltdowns are awful - BTDT, dealt with them for almost 6 years. There were days I had to take him to school because he was still raging when the bus came.

His "reward" is playing his GameBoy or Playstation for 30 minutes once he's fully ready (then I had problems getting him off of it, but he wouldn't get it the next day, and then he "got it" on that one too LOL).

Now he's up at 6:30 AM (entirely TOO early), but he's dressed and ready to go by 7:30.

IMO, I don't think this is an ADHD issue - I think it's defiance (aka ODD) - child doesn't want to do what child is told.

Don't know if this helps, but it worked really well for us.

Hello Dede10...

Last week my son was the same way

He refused to go to school, didn't want to get dressed, argued about showering, always had his shoes untied, very argumentative in any type of subjects,...etc..

Can't wait to get him to school some mornings just so I can drive to work, listen to music and drink my morning coffee.

Hang in there and please keep the posts coming.

I tried immediate rewards by using his lunch... good wake-up got a
granola bar instead of wheat thins, good toothbrushing earned a fruit cup
instead of raisins, etc. Didn't work. He doesn't have toys or electronics
because he doesn't like them, and he values very little of what he does
have. His bed pillow is his security object, so sometimes I put that "on the
block", especially because most of our morning problems are transition
issues; he locks in to sucking his thumb and rocking with the pillow and
goes into a trance, and gets violent when I try to get him out of it. I have
been told that he is not on the spectrum by two different doctors, but.... I
just got a camcorder and have been taping these episodes all week, so
that I can show them to his psychologist. No one sees this but me, since
his meds kick in and he tries really hard to hold it together at school. All I
ever hear is how wonderful he is... only me and my closest neighbors
know the other side of it.

"This past week he has decided that he does not have to get dressed, does not have to go to school...fights, argues, etc. until right before he leaves...gets dressed and goes." This just sounds like normal ADHD behavior to me. There's highs and lows, and this is a low point.

Personally I would simply use ogram's marble system (search on this board). It eliminated all of the morning issues for me. I would also give him high-EPA fish oil (because it has a positive effect on mood), and make sure that he is getting protein at breakfast. I would try all of these things before trying to add on more diagnoses. Nothing you have described goes beyond ADHD in my opinion.

Have to agree with smallmom. Get another opinion from a professional. I do think that constant meltdowns and anger is beyond ADHD and I think you'll find it is if you get him re-evaluted. Pediatricians really missed the boat with my son. They also said he had ADHD/ODD, but he has high functioning autism. It's best, imo, for you AND your child to cover every corner and know what you have, and the earlier the better. ODD type behavior only gets worse when the kids get older if it's part of another disorder (bipolar or high functioning autism). A NeuroPsych will spend a considerable amount of time testing, rather than listening to you once or twice and saying, "Yup, sounds like ADHD." ADHD has many mimickers and stims can hurt them, as can alternatives. Some disorders require no meds and some different meds than ADHD meds. Take care :)Ah, mornings.  What fun.  Sounds like ADHD stuff to me, too.

Just this morning, DS is supposed to be getting dressed, but he is attempting to put his pants on while upside down on the couch. This of course, entails the use of his hands, so his only support was his head.

Was I surprised when he crashed to the floor?  No.
Was he? Totally shocked. 

I mentioned that it would be less dangerous to get dressed standing up.
He says, "How do you know?"

Sigh.

This, followed by "I don't care if I miss the bus anyway" and then he threatened to call *my* mother to tell on me for being so bossy (i.e. making sure he didn't have to ride the bus naked!)

By 7:30 I was exhausted.

[QUOTE=SmallMom]

Ask your ped to refer you for testing by a neuropsychologist.  Don't accept a dx by a ped -- they are not skilled enough to diagnose complicated neurological and psychological disorders.

In addition, I highly recommend a book called The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.

Good luck!

[/QUOTE]

Agree with you 100%.  the right dx is best when you go to a neuropsychologist.  we just went to ours for the first time around Christmas time, we did a total med change and now, he is fine.  differ kid, but same advice.  keep us posted.

Dede10 does your son have "constant anger and meltdowns"?

I think mornings are often difficult with ADHD kids. It's a reoccuring theme on this board.

TIillyt- This sounds like my mornings! My DS is only 4 and within 15 minutes of wake up I want to cry! He does NOTHING unless he is on his head! Rolling around the floor laughing and running. I only want him to put his own pants on! Is that really asking too much?!?!? Night time is not any btter! Mornings are horrible here, too. Seems like its the ADHD in that my son
can pull the same crap every morning and each morning I think he
believes that it will work and he won't have to go to school (or whatever;
it's always something), when it never has worked and never ever will. He
is very smart, but it is like he has no access to past experiences.

I got out of the clothing battle by putting him to bed in his clean school
uniform. So he's rumpled... he is a kindergarten boy, big deal. He gets far
too violent in the morning- I couldn't dress him safely. Now there are no
tears until toothbrushing time.

You may want to look into early onset bipolar. ODD is more a description of symptoms than a stand alone dx.

www.bpchildresearch.org

 

Hi everyone! I haven't been here in a long time. My son (now 10 1/2 ) was diagnosed with ADHD at 7.  I think he may also be ODD. I have done some research and scheduled an appt with his pediatrician for tomorrow. I just can't deal with him anymore...so off we go to the doctor. I know my reactions are part of the problem, and am willing to do whatever we have to do. What I don't see in my research is that the ODD child takes it out on their family, but not others. He is more passively defiant at school, sports, etc...and is not always defiant. At home its like he just wants me to explode. This past week he has decided that he does not have to get dressed, does not have to go to school...fights, argues, etc. until right before he leaves...gets dressed and goes. I can't stand to be here in the mornings!

Is there any special evaluation I should be asking for? Any information/advice anyone has is greatly GREATLY appreciated.

 

Ask your ped to refer you for testing by a neuropsychologist.  Don't accept a dx by a ped -- they are not skilled enough to diagnose complicated neurological and psychological disorders.

In addition, I highly recommend a book called The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.

Good luck!