school issues | ADHD Information

Playing devil's advocate here... have you thought at all that the teacher is perhaps not being a "busy body" or prying?  There are many times that I talk to my kiddos about home because it is a way to get to know them. Children become animated when talking about what they did the night before (for instance) in most cases. It is then that I get to spend one-on-one time with each child and learn more about his/her personality and gain more understanding about him/her. There are also times that I may ask children to write about "their night or weekend". I am not being snoopy at all. I am merely giving them a prompt that can be acted upon by all children without being concerned about brainstorming ideas. By asking students to respond about themselves/home/family, we are putting them on an "even playing field" as they are relating their personal experience.   As far as the parenting comments, she may not realize that she is indeed "stepping on your toes". She may be trying to offer suggestions to you or keep encouraging you because she realizes the struggles that you have had in getting custody of the children. Her attempts at giving advice may be, in fact, her version of cheering you on and applauding your efforts. Food for thought... iluvmydal38807.0805902778

Well, it sounds like she is a busy body to me.  lol  she is prying WAY too much.  I would defiantly do the joke thing asap.  and if she does it again, you will have the right to talk to the principal.  I don't think she even realizes how it comes across.  Is it second nature to her?  I'd also add that the Child welfare has granted you full custody, and if they trust you, she can feel rest assured that the kids will be fine.  that would shut her the h*ll up.  You would be politically correct and she would get the hint in a serious way. 

or you could start calling her a nick name.... like Mrs. Teach-in-law.  lol  that would get her attention.

lol, i like that. TY (((((HUGS))))

I'm all for teachers being friends but there is also  a line you should not cross in my mind. I don't think it is right to ask my child about his relationships with his parents, his home life etc. I do understand why maybe she does. See i am their step mom and they live with myself and their dad. We have been fighting for custody with them for the past 3 yrs. Just got sole this feb. They were taken in 03 from their mom and placed into foster care. We had to jump through loops and doing everything they told us to, to get them. I think perhaps since their bio mom did hurt them, that they are just being careful. But we are not her and have been doing everything in our power for our children. It just gets a little aggrevating at times. You should read some of the things she writes me. She is always asking me if i gave my child their medicine, i always do. Now if there for some reason is a day they don't get it, i always let them know. But if he has a bad day, its oh you must not of given his meds, you should do that every day, written just like that. Then one day he didn't want to answer what he had for dinner, so she wrote us again, and said it was odd that a child would not want to tell what he had for dinner, that most kids love telling what they had. My child was not born yesterday and i clearly think he can tell when someone is pumping him for info. Which i am not comfortable with. I have done nothing but what every parent does, yet since their mom did, then i have to wear the scarlet letter as well?? Its gotten so bad to where my kid doesn't want to go to school. I don't know what to do. She has done so much for him, it hasn't been this way, until wer got sole custody and all the agencies got off the case. Again they would not of gotten off the case or given us custody if we were bad. Were not. Sorry just frazzled

No she was not apart of us getting custody of our three boys. She did so much, meaning she listened to us and our childs needs. She mad every effort to include us in things, even when we had them living here but did not have custody yet. It is not hard to grow attach to a child, and i understand that. My sons are awesome, as i am sure all of your kids are. I am trying to let it roll off my shoulder but it upsets my son a big deal. Half the time it is a fight to get him to go to school.I would ignore the teacher's notes/comments. There are 3 months left in the school year. But I would instruct my son not to answer questions about things happening at home when asked by the teacher.You mention the teacher "has done so much for him".  She is probably having a tough time letting go.  Was this teacher instrumental in helping legally place your child with you?  If so, she may feel a strong bond and responsiblity that goes beyond a typical teacher/child relationship.  It sounds as though she feels a strong responsiblity toward his well being.  With time she may ease up.If the teacher has had success with your child and has been a good influence on him then I say to let the "extra" comments role off your back.
It is very hard to find a teacher who understands ADD enough to successfully teach them.  I am shocked at how many teachers have no clue as to how to teach these kids.
My son has a teacher this year who has been very good for him.  She understands what "inattentive ADD" is and is very open to my suggestions on how to help him learn.  I can only hope and pray that we get one like her for 4th grade.
has anyone ever delt with a teacher who i am sure has the best of intentions towards your child, but feel so sad for your child so she crosses the line of teacher to friend/parent. Writes you daily comments on your parenting etc? How do you handle and respond to this without her taking it the wrong way???

  Well, first off, I'm in a 2A school district in TEXAS!  So, the teachers are all about being friends and teachers at the same time.  I like the ability of calling my ds' teacher at home, but only one teacher has given me advice about parenting, and I asked for it.  She even told me she doesn't like to do that, but I was persistent.  I personally think the teachers should NEVER give any parent advice w/ raising you kid.  I have one bit of advice on how to handle it; if it happens again, smile and make a "serious" joke about it and tell her that you get enough advice from your "in laws".  I'd bet she never gives you advice again.  it puts her in the position of "in law" which is not a good place to be.  lmao

 

just a thought.