So tired. | ADHD Information

Pardon me for a moment of self pity. I am so worn out. My daughter has ADHD and it has been a long painful road though things are improving. During the hardest times I took solice in my second one who was such a sweet loving playful boy (2.5 years). Just a couple months ago though he started getting extremely hyper at school and having a hard time listening to his teachers, and now he is hitting his friends at school ever chance he gets. He hit his teacher in the face yesterday. He thinks its one big funny game. He behaves OK at home except for being hyper and playfully mischievious. I feel so helpless because the negative behavior is only at school and there is really nothing I can do. I had convinced myself that we would only have to fight the ADHD fight once, but I am loosing hope that life will be easy for our little one, and I am feeling incredible sad and tired

Thanks for listening and sorry for the wallowing.

It is okay to wallow.  I keep ignoring the signs of my second one... because i just don't want to do this all over again.  LOL...BUT.. the battle should be easier because it is so familiar.    It is okay to be sad.  We want "normal" children.  As in kids with no problems and that is not what we got.  So, we are sad for the trip we didn't get and for the hard road our children have to follow... not fair for them. 

But you know what....good thing come out of ADHD/ADD.  Creative kids who think outside of the box who will undoubtably lead the way for innovative ideas and who will enjoy life in a big way no matter what.

 

Could the little on copy the older one to get attention.  OH hell yea.  My little one tries it all the time.   Sometimes he opens his mouth and out comes his brother... "it was distracting me, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't control myself"  He is 6 for God's sake.  LOL   i feel for you ,my 3 year old son has adhd and i could not cope with 2 like him.fortunately my 9 year old girl is an angel.saying that she is always overlooked as we are so focused on jude.could your little one copy his brother' to get attention?My daughter is 3 1/2 in preschool and is also begining to show signs of adhd - her sister (7) has been diagnosed adhd for a while now.  it's funny, you keep hoping the 2nd or 3rd child (and the parents) will not have to deal with the adhd issues again.  Hang in there!  I also despise picking them up - just waiting for the 'talk'  with the teachers, coach, etc.  I swear I am getting an ulcer over it. 

It is so good to know I am not alone. Before I found this site, it seemed like my kid was one of a million who behaved the way she did. That is how the directors made me feel. I have developed an anxiety problem with the phone calls and the dreaded pick up times with me trying to seek past the office and get my kids and leave unnoticed. Every time the phone rings at work I jump out of my skin. 

Thank you all for your supportive comments 

Hello Tasmanian...

I feel really blessed that I have found this site. Knowing that I am not alone helps the sanity. Information and support that has been offered has been so much appreciated. I am currently working with the school to help my son with the homework and testing issues. There have been some behavior problems the past few weeks also. Please keep the posts coming with updates.

Hang in there....

The best advice I can give is to surround yourself with good support system.  i too find myself tired, frustrated etc...but who else will advocate for our children? My husband and I support one another.  Sometimes he needs a break and sometimes I need a break. I am going to my 3rd addendum on my childs IEP this year.  I do alot of research and ask alot of questions to help me prepare for the meeting.  When you get overwhelmed take a break, get re-energized a go back in fighting. good luckA small success story with my daughter and her timed math tests: I got the teacher to reduce the questions by half. I worked with my daughter over the weekend with math facts and the concept of what it means to have a limited time to do a test and she finally finished the test. Praises for her. I am very proud of her. We have to take delight in the small victories. Now if only my son can have a good day with no hitting...

It is just so hard to know where that fine line is between the high end of normal and the extreme that defines characteristics of ADHD in toddlers. It is just scary to see him pushing the boundary of normal 2 year old behavior when his sister is ADHD. Sometimes I see it in him and other times he seems like a perfectly normal 2 year old. Poor guy has an uphill batter whether ADD or not just because it is in the family and everyone at their school knows it.

But you all are right. Our children our great, wonderful, extremely smart and extremely aggrivating. It is unfortunate that our schools are set up to teach in a way that it is most difficult for our kids to excel. My daughter is on meds and it has been a great help, but she still is not performing up to her potential. Her IQ is 120-130, but she cannot do a timed addition math test to save her life. mind you she is in Kindergarten, but that is what they expect her to do at school.

Anyways, I ramble. There is just so much to go on about.

is there any way to send them to different schools?  That does sound pretty difficult, huh?

 

When my son goes through bad spell, I dread when he gets off the bus or I pick him up.  So far this week he has kicked and hit other students, and hasn't been listening to the teacher.  Can you tell we are trying to change meds?  lol

yeah. Its not all self pity. Just a very bad week of being pulled into the office at school every day last week to listen to tell me about all of my sons transgressions, and the director being convinced that scince DD has ADHD that son probably does too given his recent behavior.

I really dont know if he has is or not. He is very different from DD. He doesnt tune me out like she does and he is attentive with things we do together. Just so hyper and given to impulses. I just know that everyone at the school is seeing him through the same lens as my daughter which is so unfortunate for him.

Sometimes we have to have periods of self pity, to be able to move on and function.  As long as self pity isn't all that is going on, you are ok.  Most of our kids are very hard to deal with day in and day out.  It gets very old and very tiring and then we do it again.  I have to kids, one with and one without.  It would be very difficult to wonder if you have to do it all again.  Could your son be going through the terrible 2's?

We definitely appreciate how tiring and taxing it can be to have little ones with ADHD. Every Saturday morning, we host a houseful of children with ADHD!

We have found that by changing the way we reach and teach children with ADHD, as well as changing our expectations, we have achieved much greater peace and success.

To be honest, it's simply unnatural to expect a 3,4,5,6 or 7 year old boy to sit still and keep from moving while listening to a teacher talk for extended periods of time. We can't expect a 7 year old to "focus" like a 40 year old.

Many of our children are very sensitive, both emotionally and in sensory ways to their environment. So they soak things up, which can make classrooms very difficult to endure for long periods of time. Many just aren't ready for school at a young age. They need their alone time, need small groups. Being around lots of children causes them to feel unsettled, similar to how people feel when they have a nicotine fit.

This nervous anxiety often gets expressed through hitting, biting and tantrums.  It usually does originate from a mean spirit, but rather from frustration.

Please also keep in mind than many of our children have difficulty with new situations. So try to ease them in rather than throwing them in! Allow them to take or find something comforting in class.

Above all, relax and look for the good qualities inside your child. Celebrate those amazing gifts and qualities that often go unrewarded in school. Later in life, our children will be the innovators, inventors and creative artists whose work enriches society.

You know all those books, movies and music--not to mention iPods and technology--that you enjoy? Most were created by people who share the same qualities as our children.

So preserve their confidence and build them up. Keep their little worlds from becoming too negative. And take time to simply enjoy them!

While I think ADHD is overdiagnosed, mostly due to misdiagnosis (meaning the kids DO have stuff going on, but it isn't always ADHD), I've raised five kids from 28-9 and they did focus quite fine at 5 and even earlier (except for my 12 year old). My now 9 year old focused quite well even at two. We had to be careful not to talk about anything in front of her that we didn't want her to know. She never missed a trick. There are plenty of kids who can pay attention well so if a child can't it can be a impediment in school. I also think it can be dealt with through accomodations if meds make the child moody or aggressive. Not all overly active kids are that way either because they have ADHD or because they are normally active kids. There ARE disorders that need addressing. It's true that kids with disorders live in a negative world where "normal" is patted on the back, but not all kids who are different will be the great inventors of this world either. My 12 year old will likely not live independently, for example. He is a wonderful child, first diagnosed ADHD, but he has high functioning autism and has a lot of social and life skill deficits (example: He would never bathe if not forced). He needs an aide at school to help him take notes and he can't write so he is learning keyboarding. Not everything is all rosy nor should parents have that expectation. It's great to look at both sides of the coin. That way the children can get positive feedback and also get help. To "wait until everything turns out all right" doesn't always happen. I wish it did. Are you against medication? I'm in favor of waiting until you're sure your diagnosis is right, but I'm not anti-med. Just think we have to be careful what we give our kids and who is diagnosing our precious ones. OlderMom38801.7792476852

Wow I am so thankful for this website andother moms who feel lke I do. I really thought I was all alone. You know we do have the right to have a "self-pity" mode fromt ime to time. Noone has ANY idea what we go through with our children. WE have a bad night every single night from 6:00- to bedtime or when his Clonodine kicks in! I get so tired and fdread pickinghim up alot of times form day care because my stomach is in knots on worrying how our night is going to be. I feel guilty too because when we do havea  "good" night it makes me realize what a wonderful 4 year old boy he is. I  like how Taffy put it that our kids think outside of the box.

I teach preschool (special needs and "typical developing" chldren. If your son is doingthis at school and only at school then I wuld ask his teacher what is going there. What was he doing bewfore he hit what lead up to that etc. YOu know he is probably just a two year old being a two year old but since his teacher knows he has a sister with adhd it is assumed that any undesirable behavior is ADHD and get him to the doctor! Boys will be boys and two year olds will be two year olds. I have to try toremind myself when Nihcolas is having a bad day is it his "disability" or is ithe is being 4...

WE have a 6 week old baby too so that is not exactly helping either. This baby is so differnt from Nick though he is very passive and laid back. Nick form birth never slept and cried all the time and things just were not easy. Sorry to go and on it is just verytherapuetic for me to have found this.

Does anyonehave any thoughts on Adderall Xr? My four year old is suppose to change over to that and I am nervous because of the sleep issues it can cause and we don't need any new ones. I am waiting unitl spring break to try it.

Kentucky Mom

I think my son threw the box awa!!!  Right now, for this second all is quiet.  I should go see why, but I do not know if I want to know.  I think they are watching TV in the bedroom.   Maybe I shouldn't have taken spring break, next week, off...

Something that has really helped me are some exercises from the book Stopping ADHD by O'Dell (a professor of learning disabilites at a University in Indiana.)  I have done them for a couple of months.  I still have more months to go, but I have really noticed a major change in my thinking and processing abilities.  I remember things so much better it is weird.  I can get organized and stay that way.  I don't feel like I am drowning in paper work - at least not in my job.  I haven't gotten my home life paperwork under control yet, but I have confidence that I will.  You might want to check out the book.  It is very interesting.  I think it has a lot to offer ADD and ADHD sufferers.

Hi tasmanian. My son is inattentive ad/hd. When he would have those timed tests in elementary school, his brain would just shut off. That's one thing I should have put on his 504 in elem. that I did not think of - NO TIMED TESTS

He was supposed to get extra time for tests, so I asked the teacher how he could give him a timed test when my son gets extra time and keep the resulting low grade. He said, "Well he only has to answer every other one." Sorry, that just does not work - the pressure is still on.

Fortunately in middle school those timed speed drills are not done. They do not work for many kids - just frustrate them.

If your son does end up with ad/hd, he could have more of the H and less of the inattentive issues.  Try changing his setting and see if the behavior continues over time. I think we do go through a grieving process when we find out our kids have adhd or another condition which will make life more of a challenge. Remember they are unique and it is our job to help bring out the gifts. Keep us posted.