How to deal with that evil work colleague | ADHD Information

  My line manager knows of the problems he is causing me.. i explained the sabotage incident which he seems in agreement with by shaking his head and muttering a few swear words about him but The big boss wanted this job to go on time and my line managers head is ultimately on the chopping board if it didn't go. 

line manager has advised me to stop worrying about him and just to get on with my job which is so easy to say and bloody hard to do...

Iam not moving jobs again and will just have to ride the waves out till righteousness wins the day.. Just hope i can learn to not looked bothered by his anticts and be able to not talk to anybody about it otherwise it will look like iam a whining bastard   

I wish things wouldnt take me so long to sort out in my head before i feel i can move on.. my wife says i obsesse over things to much, but hey you dont become the best without analising things till you know its right, right

thanks guys and girls

I analyzed the situation to death about the woman I used to work with.  It drove my H crazy.  He got sick of hearing about it but I couldn't talk to anyone at work either about her.  Sometimes people put blinders on when they know something isn't right and ignore it as long as the job gets done.  It stinks but thats the way it is.  I have to agree with taritac about documenting it.  I think thats a good idea in dealing with someone with no scruples.  Good luck and hang in there.  Dee I think you don't necessarily have to try to befriend him. He obviously does not have integrity or scruples, so befriending him may someday be to your detriment. He may try to use your niceness against you.

You should never be nasty or try to stoop to his level. You should definitely DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT everything you do (to the extent that you can in your type of job) so that you have an accurate account of your actions on the cars you repair and KEEP A DIARY of any incidents that you have with him. If other people on the job are being affected by him, recommend that they also keep a diary. If it ever comes down to a he-said/he-said showdown, you will have a record of his negativity and your appropriate actions.
taritac38802.6545138889Funny, I read this thread as "How to deal with the devil"   same difference, huh? U were given good advice, can't really add to it, but I will agree with whoever said it they probably know how he is. Just hang in there. Take care of yourself and deal with the devil the best way you can.Sorry to hear of your dilemna.  A few years back I was in a situation with another worker that was very competitive.  I was hired first and had a choice between 2 positions, so I chose the one that apparently she wanted.  In time I figured out why she seemed almost hostile to me at times.  She was also a very moody person, in general. The way I dealt with it was to befriend her.  I needed the job and I knew fighting with her was only going to make things worse.  I tried to stay out of her "cross hairs"(as Dog put it).  It was very difficult in the beginning and I went home some days feeling sick to my stomach, but I just continued to act as a friend and as a non-threatening entity.  It was a very humbling experience, let me tell you. There were days I would like to have just let her have it but I bit my tongue.  It took a lot of patience and tolerance on my part, but slowly she started to come around and started sharing her life a little with me.  She even invited me over to her home for one of those hen party demonstrations. 

Later on it turned out she had a serious medical emergency.  She had a benign tumor of the brain.  She was terrified and all I could do was try to comfort her.  The treatment was radiation and it seemed to work.  I never did really have any desire to be a close friend of hers or anything as she had some negative aspects of her personality that I just could not get past but I did learn to deal with her.  I didn't think it was fair how the other workers seemed to cater to her, but I also think it was because they were intimidated and she knew whose backside to kiss up to.   I eventually got a position elsewhere and was really glad.  That may be the answer for you, but in the mean time I think Dog's advice is right.  I just wanted to relate my own story and how I dealt with a difficult person.  Hope it helps a little. Dee

I agree that getting into it with him is a bad idea.  As hard as it is, staying off his radar and even making him like you (as gross as that is) is the best way to deal with it.  I have found myself in that kind of situation before.  It helped me to have a private conversation with her/my boss.  What I said was:

The last thing I need is to be on this person's hit list.  I will do what I have to in order to get along around here.  I just want you to know what is really going on here and request that you talk to me directly if you have any concerns about my own performance.  I don't want this person to be in a position to make me look bad.

I eventually changed jobs and found one that I absolutely love.  But for the time I had to work with this trouble maker.  I made sure I wasn't blamed for the other person's actions, and I wasn't labeled a whiner.

That really sucks.  Good luck, let us know how it goes.

 

That's a really tough situation you are in.  Perhaps I'll be stating the obvious but I think you're right - others probably know the way he is. 

Also, if he's been there for a long time, if the company is forced to choose - they'll probably choose to keep him and will decide that you are a "problem."

I don't know if you can change the situation that much - you probably can't easily change his way of doing things, etc - I think you'll have to decide if you can work around it, and if not it's probably a good idea to look for another job where your talents will be more appreciated. 

I think the hard part is, in the mean time, figuring out how to get out of this guy's cross hairs so that you can do your work, and also just to accept him for what he is, and for the most part, leave him alone - let it go.

 

Hi

 I recently moved jobs (again) and work in the motor industry repairing crash damaged cars and commercial vehicle's . I set my self a high standard and crave technical information for which i sell myself on.. Trouble is someone always takes advantage of my happy to please nature which this time i wasn't going to let happen.. The person iam having trouble with has worked for the company for a good no. of years and bangs a lot of work out at the expense of others having to sort out his slap dash quality of work,(which of course makes me mad) this seems to be overlooked by the bosses probably because he turns out the jobs real fast which on face value means lots of money for him in bonus  but in the long run probably lost revenue of repeat customers  

Ive probably made the mistake of (in a full scale argument between us last week over a job)not letting him keep making me look unprofessional as iam fed up with him affecting my work load and making out its my repairers that are at fault.. hes cunning in the way he addresses the situation to others and the big boss  and others who are probably to scared to agree with me or they will end up with the same treatment iam receiving .. (several persons have agreed on a one to one with me without any prompting that he can be awkward and two faced). Today i find he has sabotaged a piece of a car which i had to remove for him(his job to do) and was fully working till he got his hands on it and now is blaming me for not removing it properly.. How can people like this get away with such evil behaviour while making himself look good and me look like iam not doing my job properly. I feel like revenge (smack) but i know its not the answer to stoop to his low level of immaturity..but this is making me so tense and angry that it taking my whole weekend to calm down from it and is really making me ill.. but i don't want to keep going on about it as ill end up with the label as the stressful moaner at work.. 

what can i do ???

   

I agree with the above that every company when it is large enough has at least one of this kind of individual.  The back stabber - the person who wants to get to the top on the corpses of his comrades.  Sad but true.

A couple of things (especially for us with ADHD) to do to keep alive while this guy self-destructs (they always do eventually):

1) Isolate this guy - don't feed the fire.  That means don't even small talk with him.  If he thinks it's rude well that's his problem.  Don't talk to others about him either - we are so bad at judging friend and foe that you'll most likely be talking to a busom buddy of his.  Been there done that myself many times.

2) Attempt to make a private secret meeting with your boss.  Not the "big boss" yet - that could be seen by all as "brown nosing" and that's a big mess just waiting.  Talk business-speak - let him/her know that money is being wasted on this guy.  Be specific - take notes for a while on this guy's tactics.  Don't name other people as they most likely sound as they'll deny to save their own butts.  Make it clear step-by-step how he's potentially risking safety, money and personnel with his ways.  That makes money sense and usually works.

3) If boss doesn't seem sympathetic - go to Human Resources.  Let them know the same stuff but relate it as stress and trauma to you and others.  People stressed and hurt get sick and sick means lost wages, disability payments and even lawsuits.  HR departments usually will be on the side of removing the trouble any way they can - usually relocation if they can.

4) If boss and HR are no good make a secret appointment with big boss.  Take records of every meeting and what you were told.  He may already have heard about it but if you make it clear what you've tried he'll want this taken care of.  Give options you'd be willing to take - relocate, reprimand of this guy, etc.

This will take courage but is important for your mental health.  Remember whatever you do take notes of everything (our memory sucks so double check all facts, dates, etc.).  Specifics help when dealing with this.  Bosses love to know what this means to the "bottom line".  If you speak business-speak use it to your advantage.

If you are in a union they may help you too.  If you go to a doctor get a note on how it's affecting your health.  Records, records, records!!

I totally empathize with you.  I’m in a very similar situation with my idiot manager.  I have NO support from anyone (Director, VP, or even Pres.).  It is SO difficult to ‘bite my tongue.’  I’ve been labeled a malcontent and complainer.

 The BEST tool I’ve found is to ‘KEEP HIM GUESSING.’  Each time he tries to engage me in an argument or blame me, I recall how I reacted the last time and react totally different (within reason).  Sometimes I kiss his butt and throw him a bone, sometimes I argue my point using several different kinds of logic and defenses, sometimes I am a ‘broken record’ saying the same thing over and over over, sometimes (this one is the hardest) I am just silent and do multiplication tables in my head while he blathers on, one time I tried REALLY hard to cry.  I AM on ‘thin ice’ and not sure I will NOT get fired, but screwing with him in this way is the ONLY way to keep myself entertained and my mind agile while at  the mind numbing job.

 I too have to document EVERYTHING and that has really helped  I can produce several examples of how MY work has positively impacted the ‘bottom-line’ and I’m learning the stupid ‘business-speak’ to support my documentation.  I use email to document and track stuff too.  I’ve had this job for 9 months and 28 days (almost a record in my 18 year work-life) and will continue to look for a job that is not so annoying.  ‘Keeping him guessing’ is fun yet can be dangerous for job security!  Good luck!

Oh--I do occassionally have 'small talk' with him, but it is limited to ONLY TV shows.  And if I hate the show, I pretend to like it.  I think of my relationship with him as a sociology/psychology experiment that has gone on too long!

sakura38804.5868287037I forgot to add: what goes around, COMES around. Evil people will get their comeuppance in the end. Just keep that in mind and keep behaving with integrity.

I really like the idea of writing things down.  I think it will serve a couple other purposes besides documentation.  First, just writing it down is a way of talking about it - putting it in perspective and secondly, writing it down may help you see different ways you could have handled the situation.

You can't change this person so unfortunately you have to do the changing. It sucks, I know. 

I have yet to work in a company that doesn't have at least one vindictive evil person.