This is my first post here. I just wanted to say I am SO glad I am NOT the only one having a hard time with my son. I am so glad I found this board. This is a long post so if you read it THANK YOU for listening.
My son will be 8 in a couple months. We started having problems with him when he was about 3 and they just keep getting worse! The dr's always say it's a "phase" IT'S NOT! I know people are quick to judge on ADD, but when it's been like this for 3 years something has to be done. I have stayed home with my kids thinking that I was doing the right thing, but I am starting to feel like a failure. This has caused problems with my husband and I too. I feel he is not as involved with our son. It IS hard and sometimes I really don't want to be around my son. I LOVE him and want the best for him, I just don't know what to do.
My son started 2nd grade and the teachers biggest problem was his is to social and speaks out of turn. He was starting to do better. The school hired another 2nd grade teacher because of to many students. My son was switched even though I had begged the principal NOT to switch him because he seemed to be doing better in that class. We had just moved from down south at the beginning of the school year so I didn't want to move him again.
So he goes to this other class and keeps getting notes sent home. The latest one was when the kids went to take pics for the class my son started crawling down the hall. He interupts converstations, just doesn't seem like he can control his behavior. She said he is great at reading, but he just needs to "focus" more.
He just starting seeing a child psych. I just feel like I have done everything I can. It's really taking a tole on me. Any other advise would be great. How were you children before and after medicine? Have you tried any type of diet or herbal medicine? Do charts work for you? Thank you again for your advise.
Is he seeing a child psycologist or Psychiatrist? I highly recommend the latter. Sounds like more going on than ADD and a psycologist won't know what to look for. A NeuroPsych is also a good option. Does your son interact appropriately with other kids? Does he seem like an angel/devil kid? Does he rage? Does he have any strange behavior? Does he play appropriately with toys? Any psychiataric problems/mood problems/substance abuse on the family tree? Is he on meds? Sorry for the questions, but the answers will help! One thing for sure: This isn't your fault and you should dump any therapist who tries to tell you it is. He was likely born that way or gentically predisposed to whatever is wrong (which again I'll bet is more than ADHD). OlderMom38801.635787037
Hi, he just started seeing a child psychologist. Wjat is the difference between the 2? Do they do different things? He plays okay with kids, but he is really aggressive sometimes. He is bossy and tries to tell them how to play too. He has a 3 year old brother and he USUALLY can't stand to be around him. He blows up saying "GET AWAY" or Leave me alone! I don't think that's normal to be like that ALL the time. I am really not sure if it's ADD he has, but from all the stuff I was telling the psychologist he said it sounds like he has it. I still want to look around and see if it could be anything else.
I also just had him tested for thyroid and diabeties and he doesn't have either. It's so hard to write it all too. It's hard for me too because I know I discipline. It's not like he is just a "wild child" just because. I can tell him things until I am blue in the face. Then I start to yell which doesn't help. I TRY to be calm, but it's so hard when you say something 50 times.
When you say "rage" I'm not sure if that's what it's called or what but he does get angry for little things and just has meltdowns and cries, whines and stops his feet like a 2 year old. He is teaching these behaviors to our 3 year old too,which scares me. He has never talked about killing or anything like that, he is just rough when he plays. He plays fine with toys too. He just gets really frustrated easily if he can't put a toy together. Instead of asking for help he will cry and say "I can't do it" Nothing else like this has happened in my family either. He is not taking any meds now. Our appt. is next week with just my husband and I to talk more about what to do.
He also can go from being happy one min. to anger. I feel like we always are walking on eggshells to make sure we try not to upset him with the way we word things. I feel like a lot of it is for attention too, that's why I'm not sure about the ADD thing. I do a lot with him, but I feel like my husband doesn't because he is gone a lot. I have no idea what to think anymore. Thanks for the help.
<<Is he seeing a child psycologist or Psychiatrist? I highly recommend the latter. Sounds like more going on than ADD and a psycologist won't know what to look for. A NeuroPsych is also a good option. Does your son interact appropriately with other kids? Does he seem like an angel/devil kid? Does he rage? Does he have any strange behavior? Does he play appropriately with toys? Any psychiataric problems/mood problems/substance abuse on the family tree? Is he on meds? Sorry for the questions, but the answers will help! One thing for sure: This isn't your fault and you should dump any therapist who tries to tell you it is. He was likely born that way or gentically predisposed to whatever is wrong (which again I'll bet is more than ADHD). >>
A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor, trained in all psychiatric disorders. A NeuroPsych is a Psychologist with a neurology degree. They take a lot of time testing the child and can see ADHD and beyond. I think the psycologist is probably wrong. We had many psycologists and they were all wrong...lol. Most just don't know much beyond ADHD and don't do any testing. I would want him tested for both Early Onset Bipolar and High Functioning Autism. To me, it doesn't sound severe enough for bipolar, but if he's moody, it could be. It manifests very differently in kids than in adults and is often mistaken for ADHD. High functioning autism is really something a NeuroPsych needs to test for. A psycologist alone simply won't know how to see it. My son has it and first he had the ADHD/ODD diagnosis then bipolar, and both were wrong. My son was very rigid, tantrummed, had a very low frustration level, a speech delay (not all autistic kids do, but it's common), did not play with toys the right way, and basically just was an "odd duck." At twelve, he still is, but he had tons of interventions and he's a mellow kid now, not frustrated, no longer angry (he used to be. He'd even bang his head on the wall or floor). Red flags for a mood disorder are any mood disorders in the family on either side/substance abuse or suicide attempts plus raging, especially when hearing "no." I think the frustration meltdowns are more like high functioning autism. If you take him to a NeuroPsych, he can see if it's ADHD or more than that, at least for now (the diagnosis often changes as the kids grow and more stuff pops up). The danger of not knowing for sure is that some disorders require meds or it gets worse (bipolar) and some don't respond to meds at all (high functioning autism, but these kids NEED school interventions). We were not aggressive enough at the beginning. We just accepted ADHD/ODD from our Psycologist, although it ended up being so much more and my son isn't even hyperactive anymore. I'd want to cover every option before deciding the professional diagnosed right. Unfortunately, we found out that they often don't. A psycologist will probably try behavioral modification. Often that jsut doesn't "do it" especially if it is beyond ADHD. Early onset bipolar kids and high functioning autistic kids will not respond well to any sort of behavioral mod. I'd start with the big guns (Psychiatarists and NeuroPsychs) and, based on their more intensive workups, they can refer you to a therapist, if necessary. Unfortunately, it's hard to correctly diagnose very young kids, but it's worth a try. More people will come along, I'm sure. Good luck!My personal preference from experience is psychiatrists, not psychologists. Although both have misdiagnosed my son many, many times, the psychiatrists have been closer to the dx than any psychologist has ever been.
What is the difference between a Psychologist
Similarities
Both Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrists can provide psychotherapy and counselling services.
Both Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrists are trained to diagnose neuropsychological disorders and dysfunctions plus psychotic, neurotic and personality disorders and dysfunctions. Both professionals are granted the right to make such diagnoses by law while other health care providers cannot. Both Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrists help people maintain and enhance their physical, intellectual, emotional, social and interpersonal functioning.Differences Psychologists have earned a doctoral level degree (Ph.D., Psy.D., or D.Ed.) in Psychology, after having obtained a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree in Psychology. This amounts to at least nine years of university education and training in psychology. Psychiatrists have a general medical degree first (4 years at the undergraduate level) and then advanced training in psychiatry (usually 4 years residency after the M.D. degree).
Psychologists can do psychological testing with well-researched tests. Psychiatrists typically do not do psychological testing. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication, Psychologists cannot. Psychologists are regulated by the College of Psychologists of Ontario while Psychiatrists are regulated by the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario.
It does sound like there is some mood instability there with your son. Going from being happy, to anger and back again would concern me. The tantrums would be another trigger to me. My 9 year old used to have them and they would last for anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours.
It sounds like you're doing as much as you can to try to help your son, that's really great. I think if you're not comfortable with the ADD dx a 2nd opinion is probably a good idea.
A Neuropsychologist you can find at the local Children's Hospital, probably. They do more extensive testing on your child than a psychiatrist would. I can't tell you a whole lot on that one yet, because Dylan is only in the process now of the neuropsych evaluation so I don't know exactly what will be done yet. But I know OlderMom knows alot about neuro's if you ask her (or maybe she'll just chime in here soon )
Hugs
Hi Googles,
Please do not feel guilty or like you need to apologize. Many of your son's behaviors in class (speaking out of turn or talking too much) are very normal, especially for his age.
He is not a mean child, he is just a frustrated child. While I think it is important to seek proper medical testing, I also would caution about over-analyzing all of his behavior. If you look close enough, you can find "abnormal" behaviors in every one of us. So keep it in perspective and separate from is harmful from what is merely annoying.
Many times, our kids can get frustrated when they are around other children and a noisy atmosphere all day. Does your son have more meltdowns in the afternoon? Sometimes our kids need some alone time or time to just feel refreshed. So make sure your son has down time both at school and when he comes home in the afternoon.
Sometimes the negative attention at school (teachers getting on him all day for, gasp, talking!) and any difficulties with learning can contribute to even more frustration. So it is likely that the difficulty with the toy isn't really causing him to have a meltdown--it is likely just the trigger.
There are many positive, proactive things you can do to reduce the number and severity of the meltdowns...and many things you can do to help your child in school as well.
Please feel free to email me at ADHDcamp and I'll be happy to send you some reports free that will help you.
Above all, relax and realize that parenting a child with ADHD is challenging. You are not alone and your child WILL have a really great future!
Celebrate ADHD, you said to email you at ADHDcamp.. what is that address? Is it on here somewhere? Thank you.
OLDERMOM, My son doesn't have a lot of the symptoms of High Functioning Autism, so I don't think that's it. He talked early and reads great now, plays good etc.
Janna, thank you for the info too. Now I know what the difference is.
Have any of you heard of children having other problems and the Dr's. think they have ADHD? A friend of my moms said he teenager was acting up at school, not doing work, etc. They found out he had diabeties. My son was tested just incase and he is fine. I am just wondering if it might be something else. He does complain about his stomach a lot. I have told the dr. too, but they said it's just constipation and told me to give him fiber bars and eat high fiber things.