Sounds to me like your son might have seen an episode of TV called INTERVENTION. There was a girl on there that used to cut herself but she didn't jsut cut herself on her arm, she cut herself everywehre. Ask your son why he doesn't want to go to his therapist. Maybe if you tell him that you will find him a new one that it will be better. I think that a child should be able to feel that they can tell their parents anything and also their therapist but it sounds like your son doesn't like his therapist for some reason, so i wouldn't make him go or he might not tell you anything else. My personal feelings on this are this way, your son is hanging around someone who is doing this and he started doing it also. I don't think that bp has anything to do with it at all nor adhd. I really believe it's called peerpressure. Just ask him, talk with him. I know you must be floored but you also must reach him now before he takes things too far. He trust you or he never would have reached out to you, that is a reach out for something.
I agree with the BP. Get him evaluated. Watch him close. Untreated, people with BP have a high rate of suicide. If you have any guns in the house, lock them up or get trigger guards.Yeah, I've done that as well in the past and we are on our 4th psychiatrist and he is awesome - one of the best in my city so I'm sticking with him.
Justin has been on a lot of meds since he was 5. Straterra did not work at all for him. I can't find a pattern to the mood swings. They happen when is on and off his Ritalin LA but mostly when it is off - not sure what that could mean. And he went for a long time with no mood swings on Concerta AND on Ritalin LA. I suppose it could be anything - maybe even a food he is eating as we've discovered lately that something he is eating makes his lips swell up but it is just ever so often and neither of us can figure out what is causing it.
I've been having a lot of trouble with my 14 yr old son lately. He is ADD and on Ritalin LA which is working out ok. He has a horrible attitude and over the few years has had bouts of moodiness and depression. I'm talking extreme mood swings and a lot of anger and rage. We've been through a lot in the last 4 years during my divorce from his step-dad. a lot of stuff that I know has left a lasting mark on Justin but is WAY to involved to even begin to get into here. I had him in counseling 1 hour a week for over a year 2 years ago when it was all going on and he seemed to be doing ok after that.
Anyway, his Psychiatrist has thought for a while that Justin is dealing with depression but when he put him on Paxil Justin had a very strange almost mania-like reaction that made his DR think Justin could be bipolar because he said kids who are bi-polar and take an anti-depressant without a mood stabilizer can have those type of reactions. But we never pursued it any further, just took him off the anti depression meds. I can't remember what all was going on during that time as to why I didn't look more into the bipolar diagnosis.
To get to the problem now...I found out last night Justin has been cutting himself on his arm. His left arm has probably more than 30 cuts (or actually scratches) on it. He said he did it because he was so upset and mad at the girl at school that he likes and has been "going with" because she is breaking up with him. This floored me! Esp since this is not the first girl he's liked or been friends with. When it comes to relationships he really could take it or leave it. Justin is extremely independent and very self confident. He has lots of friends and is very outgoing and this just isn't like him but I guess it never is with kids who do this??? But something is going on! I talked to him for a while about it last night and he seemed upset but also really didn't think it was a big deal. I tried to make him realize this is not a healthy way to cope!
Anyone else had their child do anything like this? I never dreamed he would do this. I know I've got to get him back into some kind of couseling and I'll be calling his Psych doc for sure but when I even say "counseling" he gets really mad and refuses to go. He told me last night the only reason he didn't want to tell me about the cuts is he knew I'd make him go to counseling and if I make him go he'll never tell me anything else ever again. The last time I took him I literally had to drag him out of the car by his arm (which was hard as he is very tall for his age and very strong!) Then he sat there with the counselor and barely said 2 words. He hates going and I can't see spending the money if he's not going to talk and try to get help- the counselor agreed that he can't help Justin if he refuses to talk. I'm going to talk with his youth director at church this week and see what he suggests on maybe a teen support group or something. Maybe he'll talk to kids his own age....I don't know.... I just had to vent and get it out to somebody!
Jamie
My son was prescribed the usual stimulant meds concerta, adderall etc...we found that he would go into rages on these meds..also ticks and biting his arn when stressed out. We took him off all stimulants and no more rages or ticks or odd!! Currently he is on straterra but too soon to tell if this is working. I finally, after 3 yrs, decided to start from scratch and get a whole new outlook. Started with new psych dr. new ped. dr. etc...We all have to remember our children are growing and their body chemistry is changing (hormones etc) so why not get a new outlook? Just a thought.Thanks for all the advice. Actually his youth pastor just called me to tell me that Justin filled out a prayer request card during service yesterday and wrote down that he was depressed and cut himself. So I am actually relieved and a little surprised at that but still glad he is reaching out.
He has always hated couseling. He's been to 4 or 5 in the last 5 or 6 years. He doesn't mind so much going to the psychiatrist - but he only manages medication and he talks to Justin a little bit about things but he recommends a psychologist for regular counseling. Justin just hates to talk about anything. It is very hard to engage him. He'll talk non stop all day about anything other than his feelings.
He rarely watches TV so I doubt he saw that show. And I may sound like a naive mom it's just me and him so I know my son - he does talk about some stuff. From what I've observed he's never had a hard time with peer pressure and I"ve always been so thankful for that. He's come home early from curfew many times because he said the kids down the street he was hanging out with started smoking cigarettes and drinking beer or doing something he didn't want to be involved in. He's really anti drug/alcohol. He also seems to be the "leader" so to speak in his little group of friends - they all would rather be at our house - and he rarely cares what the crowd is doing, wearing, listening to etc.. - so I guess I have a hard time thinking it was peer pressure or that someone else did it so he decided to. I don't know why he's doing it.
I do think back now over all of his grade school years - it was horrible. He had fits of rage in class - kicking the teacher in 2nd grade and in 4th actually picked up and threw a chair across the room. That was just 2 incidents that immediately come to my mind, there were many others. He was of course kicked out of all of those schools!
I think I will definitely look into bipolar. don't take this the wrong way please - but I guess i've been afraid of a bp diagnosis. I don't know much about it. I've pretty much known what to expect with what I've thought anyway was ADD but my ex had a friend who was bp and he had such a difficult time. But I know the right diagnosis is what is going to help Justin and if he does have bp I'll do whatever I can to help him. Thanks for the advice and concerns!!!
Jamie,
For what it's worth, my 9 year old has Bipolar - originally dx'ed ADHD too.
I have to tell you, now that he's on BIPOLAR meds and not ADHD meds, he is a totally changed child. No more raging. No more meltdowns. Nothing broken, beaten, thrown around, none of that, since the middle of January this year (he started the Lithium in December, 2005).
Mood stabilizers for Bipolar are so much help, I think. At least it has been in my case. Do all the reading you can - check out the book The Bipolar Child. There is alot of information online too.
Just thought I would let you know there is hope, even if it is Bipolar. And there are good meds that can change your son and help him.
Hugs
He should absolutely be on meds. Sounds like bp to me too...
I would also put off the counseling until he is stable on the meds. If he doesn't want to talk, don't waste the money, but I bet when he is feeling better on bp meds, he will be more willing to talk.
[QUOTE=sarahandbabies]He should absolutely be on meds. Sounds like bp to me too...
I would also put off the counseling until he is stable on the meds. If he doesn't want to talk, don't waste the money, but I bet when he is feeling better on bp meds, he will be more willing to talk.
[/QUOTE] THe problem is, yes, he needs to be on meds, but ADHD meds, Straterra included, make bipolar kids manic. They may do better at first, but as the blood level increases the rages, out of control behavior actually increases. You need mood stabilizers for bipolar, minus the ADHD meds. Bipolar is far more serious than ADHD and often the ADHD symptoms turn out to be childhood mania, which looks a lot like angry, rageful, even violent ADHD. I wish good luck to his parent. I totally disagree that bipolar has nothing to do with cutting nor that a child without a serious problem would cut himself because he saw it on television. Most kids don't cut. There is no peer pressure or glory in cutting. My daughter tried to hide her cutting and it got worse as she did it. In her words "It's addictive and hard to quit." I have a grown up friend who, sadly, recently passed from cancer. She also cut at one time (also a mood disorder all her life). She claimed also that it was addictive and hard to quit. I don't understand it because, even with bp, I didn't cut, but I believe them. Many teens refuse to go to thearpy. My daughter did. She fe lt it was worthless. It didn't have anything to do with liking or not liking the therapist. She just felt it wouldnt help her and it didn't. When she turned around, it was on her own. But a lot of her behavior was due to illegal drug use. I believe she has a mood disorder, but it isn't severe and she no longer abuses drugs or cuts, but she did cut for years. Please--if self-harm is involved don't just tell yourself he's trying to get back at you. That's not it. (((hugs))). OlderMom38803.6108680556I agree about the bp as well, it's definitely something to check out, especially since he is going through puberty. Hormonal shifts, especially those in adolecence can trigger or make apparent mood disorders that could have been misinterpreted or gone undiagnosed earlier. For example, I had always been kind of down as a kid but nothing to worry about when I got to HS, I had a couple depressive episodes during puberty that seemed to clear up when I was through with it, then wound up with clinical depression and OCD after I got pregnant with my DS.
Good call on talking to the youth pastor at your church, they can be a great resource. Ours has a program for college age kids as well that you could look for in yours, maybe for a big brother kind of friend/mentor. They can really be positive support for HS kids. Best of luck.
graciepoints38803.6139930556http://www.self-injury.net/intheirownwords/
This is worth looking at.