girls promiscuous | ADHD Information

I do really try and talk with her and try to have her understand what she's doing and why she gets teased by other kids her age since they don't have the same feelings but the only thing she keeps saying is that she knows it's wrong (which is why she wants to hide it) but that the constant note-writing to this boy, and the fixation on male adult power figures (i.e. her principal, a friend's Dad) is just something she does, and doesn't even realize she is doing it until someone brings it to her attention and teases her. She has said she wants to stop the behavior but can't. I do go out of my way to keep explaining that I don't judge her and realize it's difficult and that it's okay if I'm the only person she wants to talk with about it. I don't find myself getting mad about it but more kind of in a state of 'obviously there's something else wrong and what is it'. 
my 5 years has had the same "boyfriend" for the last year or so its only after school at day care and it was cute untill she tried to kiss him goodby one day... OH her father had fun with that one.. but just yesterday one of the teachers at day care told me that this "boyfriend" was yelling at her because she said HI to another boy OHMYGOD.. so we talked about it for a good hour or so last night just me and her. we went on a walk and played out side the whole time so it wasnt to hard for her to open right up.. the best advise i have is sit with her and talk about what she thinks and want she is doing, DONT get mad with her always remember she is her own person as much as we dont like it.

I know that between 8-10 is hard age i have a step son who just urned 8 he still wants to play with the little one but want to be big and not be seen playing kid games and what not.. He is not adhd but does have bipoler tendencies (dads on meds for it) his mother has to keep him sports, with my daughter who will be 6 soon had ISS for a day at school because she did the you some me yours and ill show you mine thing my adhd kid hated nothing more than the thought of other people knowing that she had ISS how funny is the embarsment is the only thing that works with her. Talk with the teacher's see if they can keep the two seperated. My husband and i were so set back by this that we stoped kissing infront of her untill she stoped "showing off" in school. Barbies i rember making barbie and ken make out when i was little.. Im not trying to avoid the DOC thing but in my family its always been do what works untill you cant take any more.

I would constantly supervise her and only let her watch programs on T.V. that are for children.  Are other girls in her class boy crazy, maybe she's learning this from them.  T.V plays a big role in encouraging young girls that finding yourself a boyfriend or a man is the way you should be, otherwise you aren't cool, or beautiful without one.  Get her involved in something she's interested in that doesn't involve boys.  Remind her about what is appropriate for an 8 year old, and the only way you can do this is to supervise her while outside and around boys, and take her places that are appropriate for her.    My non-ADd girl is 13, and far from being boy crazy, she's too busy with other interests.  She does have a crush on one boy, and boys have asked her out and she quickly puts them in there place.  I've always taught her that boys are the last thing on her priority list.  But this is a child that understands social cues, so I really shouldn't compare it.  My 15 year old ADHD son was never girl crazy and still isn't.  I don't think he's there yet at all, although enjoys looking.

 

Did you say she was eight?? And making out? WOW! If I were you I would very concerned. Then you said she's not having sex that you know of?? Did I read this all right? I do believe she needs an older male figure her father if he is at home to tell her every day how pretty she is and take her out maybe once a month on a father-daughter "date" night. Is she wanting attention from a male figure? That is what pops into my head. I would definetly seek help. Stress to her about being a lady and most of all love her and show her tons of attention especially a male!

This behavior goes beyond anything a parent can supervise.  Hypersexuality is a symptom of bipolar disorder.  This child needs an evaluation by a board-certified child psychiatrist PRONTO.  Another clue that you're looking at a mood disorder is her reaction to stimulants.  Please seek professional advice as soon as possible for the sake of your daughter.  Good luck.

 

Maybe its not hypersexuality, only the mother knows that.I just put a call into our therapist who should hopefully call me back today. My father in law is bipolar and my mom has depression on and off--that said, the reason I have had such a tough time trying to lock this in as bipolar (no, I am not a psych) is that she had tantrums as a little kid but not raging and she does have a short fuse now but doesn't rage uncontrollably. Anyone have experience with bipolar w/out the rage issues?
I do supervise her everywhere but asleep and at school. Also, she's a naturally athletic kid, so she's in quite a few supervised sports, mostly all girls. It helps, but you know how creative these kids are at getting what they want--I am sure that at recess there are times when she's unsupervised.
My husband travels about 50% of the time, and frankly is impatient with her because of all of her quirks, which probably has a bit to do with the behavior, but I would guess isn't the whole answer.

Denmom, I have two kids -- 11-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son -- who have working dxes of bipolar disorder.  They have different symptoms from each other (and neither has hypersexuality), but they both have mood instability.  Not every bipolar child has every symptom, and only a board-certified child psychiatrist can make a good clinical judgment about ruling it in or out.  The fact that you have depression and bipolar disorder in your family tree means you need to take the mood issues in your daughter seriously.  These conditions are hereditary.  Good luck and please keep us posted on your progress.

   

Yep--I agree with you; I think we have bigger issues than just ADD. Can you say Convent school??? Yikes--when she was on the stimulants, as far as I know, she was exactly the same with regard to the hypersexuality. The side effects that forced us to take her off of it were that she was so depressed she'd daily cry and say she wanted to die. She couldn't function on them. Not a good thing...in talking it over w/some of the other Mom's who know her, they have also noticed that she fixates on their husbands!! It is really disturbing..I am almost wondering if it's some sort of a compulsive behavior, and need to discuss further with her therapist--maybe he'll ask for a neuropsych eval.

[QUOTE=denmom]..in talking it over w/some of the other Mom's who know her, they have also noticed that she fixates on their husbands!! It is really disturbing..I am almost wondering if it's some sort of a compulsive behavior, and need to discuss further with her therapist--maybe he'll ask for a neuropsych eval. [/QUOTE]

Sorry, but I don't think fixating on an adult male is normal little girl flirting stuff.  I would talk to her therapist about that. 

Ah, so what happened when she took the stimulants?It is just as bad both on and off the Strattera. Unfortunately, she can't take any of the stimulants, and I didn't notice when she was on them if the behavior lessened. If a kid is hypersexual, it won't work. Trust me, the moms I knew did everything they could to prevent the kissing and whatever else went on, including counseling for just this issue. If the child is hypersexual, they don't stop. All depends on the reason for the hypersexuality. The biggest reason is that a child was once sexually abused, but bipolar is the next most common reason. Most kids think kissing is gross at that age. However, without raging, I dunno what could be going on here...maybe hypomania. That's why I asked about this child's reaction to stimulants. Sounds like a complicated child, but even complicated kids can get diagnosed and helped. This can turn serious when the child is around 11. Yes, my grown daughter told me that some kids were sexually active at 11. It blew my mind. OlderMom38812.3143518519

Ok tell her she will get germs  phoey phoey......

and that the rule is NO Kissing until you are 21

Any one have any experience with a daughter being almost obsessive about boys at a young age (8)? My daughter is constantly head over heels for some boy in her class, getting into kissing, etc. Any suggestions besides an all girls' school? Welcome!  Does your daughter have a diagnosis of anything?  Is she on any meds?  What kind of doctor diagnosed her?she has been diagnosed with ADD combo of impulsive/inattentive and is currently on strattera which seems to help the concentration a bit. We tried ritalin and concerta and she became severely depressed, and had very bad insomnia. luckily, she doesn't rage but I would guess does deal with a unipolar depression at times.

Hypersexuality is a big symptom of bipolar disorder. If your child is also a rager, I'd look into it.

www.bpchildresearch.org

 

Denmom,

You said "promiscuous."  Is she actually trying to have sex with young boys, or is she just boy crazy?  When you say "kissing," what do you mean?  Is she pecking them on the lips or cheek, or is she trying to make out with them?

Good question-she is not having sex as far as I know but I think more like kissing on the lips--maybe making out. Also, she was diagnosed with ADD by a PsychD when she was assessed for LD's.

Denmom,

I was one boy crazy little girl .  I was "married" in kindergarten and stayed "married" to that boy through second grade.  He was so cute!  He had a piece of blonde hair that stuck up on the back of his head, just like Dennis the Menace.  I went steady with twin brothers in fifth grade, wearing one brother's ID bracelet on one arm and the other brother's on the other arm.  I got in trouble with my fifth grade teachers for holding hands during the class film.  I was holding hands with both brothers, one on each side of me  !!!  I was constantly playing truth or dare and being dared to peck some boy on the lips in the coat closet at school, and of course I always took the dare .  

I was a sexual little girl, and I did not grow up to be promiscuous.  I had not been sexually molested or assaulted, in any way, either.  For me, I was that way because I was imitating adult behavior, and I was forever wanting to be an adult.  I was also very precocious  and curious.  Is your daughter like I was, or are you seeing something different?

I think you're right at this point--she is dying to be an adult!
She's a firstborn and so different from our other two because she has ADD that I feel like I'm always playing a guessing game!!Thanks for the perspective!

WHen my son had a bp diagnosis (it was a misdiagnosis), I went to visit a group of parents who had bipolar kids, and we brought the kids. It was there that I realized my kid didn't have bipolar (very obvious---others noticed too). The parents were afraid to let their six year old to fifteen year old kids alone because they tended to lock themselves in closets or rooms together and kiss full on the lips and who knew what else. It happened once even under close supervision and the two were caught (ages 8 and 7). They are very sexual kids when experiencing childhood mania. Unipolar depression wouldn't cause hypersexuality (just the opposite!). Some people get hypomanic (a little bit manic) and with kids it can be tricky. Doesn't mean your child has it. Just thought I'd bring it up. Without raging, I wouldn't THINK it was bipolar.

Just wanted to ask -- did the promiscuity begin or worsen when your daughter started taking Strattera?  Antidepressants, including Strattera, can cause disinhibition in children.  My daughter experienced it while taking Paxil.  I'm wondering if that's what's going on with your daughter.