Home School ????? | ADHD Information

We homeschool and I am convinced it was the right decision for our DS.

He is being spared so much negativity that he would have experienced in a traditional classroom and he's been freed to explore on his own and is fully practicing his strengths. His self esteem is now higher than it's ever been.

Socialization has been NO problem for us. He has lots of neighborhood friends. We're moving next month, but I've already found a homeschooling support group where he'll be able to meet friends. He'll also be starting a couple of new activities where he'll get to spend time with kids. This is all the socialization he needs. He is happy just being alone a lot too. I think it depends on the child, but I know very few homeschoolers in real life that are at all concerned with the socialization aspect. It's a non-issue IMO.

Good luck with your decision. It was one of the hardest I've ever had to make. It's tough. Hang in there and hugs to your daughter.

Hi. I did it. As one who was teased as a kid, I won't let it happen to my kids. If it can't be worked out with the school (you could try this first) I would homeschool. However, I did homeschool my kids for 1 1/2 years and found some big downsides. First of all, I'm not a good teacher. It really depends on your skill level at educating your child and getting the child to do the work for you. We did too much non-school stuff. Secondly, my kids both needed special education. We thought my son had ADHD, but he had autistic spectrum disorder (diagnosed later) and he needed special education teachers. My daughter appeared bright and ahead of other kids, but was not learning to read at all. Turns out she had a serious central auditory processing problem and could not "understand" how to blend sounds together. Both needed special teachers, both are doing well now in public school. Daughter went from non-reader in second grade to 2.5 level in fourth (all in one year). Also, my son would never socialize if he didn't go to school. He is content to be by himself and watch TV or play videogames all day. My daughter is a social butterfly with a lot of friends (no, she didn't start out having lots of friends--had I kept her out of school, she may have remained very shy). Maybe your daughter needs a different type of placement. You can request an IEP from the school if her ultra-talking is interfering with her ability to learn. If you get no satisfaction, you can take her to a NeuroPsych (my recommendation) and have her privately assessed. If he/she sees an LD problem or beyond, the school has to take an outside view into consideration (by law). Kids can tell when somebody is different and they can also be very cruel. I know. I was on the receiving end of it. I think your instincts to protect your daughter are kind and loving, and, if nothing is satisfactory at school, homeschooling can be a very good altenative. But if she needs any sort of special ed, then I think public school is better, even if you have to hire a parent advocate (they are free to the parent) and fight for it. Good luck. I have found out that my 5 year old daughter who had ADHD is being teased alot in school (she is in kindergarten).  Kids are calling her stupid, ugly, won't let her play with them, etc.  She had her spring concert last Friday and when I got to the school, her class was still out for their noon recess and sure enough, there is my daughter walking around all by herself.  She is starting to talk about it alot and cry.  Her brother and another neighbor boy are telling me lately that they see her crying in school alot.  I haven't heard this from any of the teachers, but there were also a couple (that I know of) of times this year that my daughter was sent to sit in the office because of excessive talking and I didn't know anything about it until my son told me he saw her sitting in there crying.  If he hadn't told me, I would never had know.  Anyway, this is absolutely breaking my heart.  My daughter loves her teacher and wants to go to school but now by the time she gets home it's like she is physically and emotionally exhausted.  The thought of home schooling her has been crossing my mind and I am wondering if any other parents out there have switched from public schools to home schooling.  Benefits and downfalls?  I don't know what to do.................

Hi Jane, I just wanted to send you a note for encouragement. I am glad that you are going to be your daughter's voice and advocate for her. The socialization is the hardest part for us. My ds has come a long way in academic performance and classroom behavior but that playground is a tough place. Pease keep us posted and to you and your daughter.

Thanks so much to everyone for the great advice.  I have to tell you, last night after my kids went to bed, I sat down and finally had a good cry.  It seemed like I could think a little clearer after that.  I've decided that I am going to school in the morning and laying it out - things need to improve or my daughter is not returning next year.  As a 5 year old, she doesn't have a voice, but as her parent I do and I'm going to use it.  Thanks for all your posts - they were great!

Janel

Kids can be so cruel and in kindergarden.  It sounds like to me the teacher is not doing her  job for if she  notices a child is a loner it is up to her to set the mood of the classroom and bring kids together.  She should be teaching a  lesson on not everyone is the same and to accept people as they are.  Yes I partially blame the teacher for what has she done to help this situation I am sorry you cannot be that oblivious to it.  I would have a word with the school first to resolve this matter so they can pay closer attention to  your child.  Talk to the school psychologist as well and social worker.

    I would love to home school but I work full time and cannot afford to stay at home.  Plus kids need to be around other children to learn and socialize.  Good luck Jill

Everyone has made great suggestions. For the rest of school year have you considered spending time daily at school, especially during socializing times? Maybe you could encourage some positive interaction. I know it's a short-term solution, but she sounds so unhappy. Hi. I'm sorry that your daughter is having a rough time. If you are interested in homeschooling, ask around until you can speak to someone in your community that does. The early grades, I'm told, make for a very short school day! Most young homeschoolers finish their work by noon. That is probably including some breaks. A half day of school could sure take some of the stress off of your daughter. Then there are opportunities for museum and zoo visits, etc! There is a homeschool group where I live that ice skates together once a month or week, and many other things! I would definitely make sure she was linked with some other girls her age.

I wish I had homeschooled my son k-1st, because his school provided very little structure for those grades, which adders usually crave.

Another thing you might consider if you decide to keep her in school is to set up a section 504 for her. She is obviously very sad at times and could end up with depression issues. Perhaps you could meet with the school committee and see if there are any accommodations they could put in place to help her. I would definitely build into the 504 that you want weekly feedback as to how she is doing. They should also let you know about incidents where she is upset. If you put this in her plan, they would have to.

If you decide you want to work with the school, GET AN ADVOCATE in your district to help you through the red tape of meetings, etc. The school often acts like they care so much, but they don't really DO anything unless you go through the official channels which is like swimming with the sharks if you do it alone.

Best wishes for your family!
If you go the homeschool route, look into public charter schools. I have found two that are free. They are exclusively home study schools. They provide the STAR testing, books, meetings with teachers, and one even has weekly extra-curricular classes for each age group. I also found one with a special ed teacher and aid, and they offer IEPs which just read differently than an IEP at a regular school.i hs my 9 yr old son.  i can't say enough about the merits of hs!  my son was retained in 2nd grade and was your classic "under-achiever".  teasing would have probably become an issue sooner or later.

the decision to hs for us was easy.  i wasn't going to allow my son to slip thru the cracks or not reach his potential.

as for the social aspect, my son participates in sports and is on a some sort of "field" each nite of the week.  that or playing with a friend in the evening.  there are mnay hs out there that offer playdates, field trips ect.  as jamiewyn stated, it's a non-issue.

be your child's advocate because no one will.

Depending on your financial situation, check out Montessori Schools in your area (Some offer scholarships)--She is still young enough to enter into a Montessori program and it is wonderful for ADD/ADHD kids. Keep it as an option and look into it, go visit the school and observe the classroom, also look at the several posts from the past on this board. It may be the answer to keeping your daughter in school--I believe she would thrive in the proper Montessori school.

As one who was teased constantly throughout school, I will not tolerate my kids being subjected to this.  Fortunately, it was never much of a problem for my sons.  However, my daughter experiences difficulties from time to time.  Unless it's just an isolated incident with another child, I will either pick up the phone or write the teacher a note.  Since we experienced problems with both the teacher and the principal during the early part of the school year, they know that  they will be hearing from us again if something isn't done.  If my daughter does not report a change in the situation after the first contact,  I follow up with either an e-mail or phone call.  Usually, the teacher just  writes in her log what has been done.  The school has also asked me to remind her to say, "Please stop!  This is bullying!" I think that this is good, as it empowers her to try to handle the situation independently before it gets out of hand.

As for home schooling, we did consider this when we experienced problems with the school earlier in the year.  I am really glad that we didn't go this route, as I am afraid that I probably wouldn't have made a very good teacher (I've recently been diagnosed with ADD myself, and probably wouldn't have been able to focus for very long).  Given the problems that we sometimes have experienced during her homework time, this could also have been an issue. I also feel that the social aspects are very important for our daughter, and she has made a couple of close friends this year that she wouldn't have had otherwise.   Most importantly, I think that she has  learned an important lesson in working through difficult situations.  She has seen her father and I disagree with her teacher and principal, but slowly be able to work things out while being civil to each other.  Although she did not like her teacher during the early part of the school year, she now believes that she is the best 3rd grade teacher at the school!  I believe that she is much happier with being in school than what she would have been being schooled here at home.

You might also enlist the help of the teacher, school counselor, or a playground monitor in finding another child with a similiar personality type that they could pair with your child at recess.  If this worked out, you might possibly want to arrange a play date.