What is your opinion? | ADHD Information

Josie,
You have just described my 12-yr old son to a tee, down to the 2 "fair-weather" friends. Although you couldn't classify him as hyper, he couldn't sit in his chair - he would always be standing beside his chair, no matter how many times he was told to sit down for a meal. And never bouncing off walls, but slowly fidgeting with anything within reach. He was finally diagnosed last year as ADHD-inattentive type.

I wish I could turn back the clock and have figured it out years earlier. The Adderall he's on now helps tremendously, but he missed many years of social cues, and 12 year olds are not too forgiving in that department. His grade 3 teacher had expressed concern, and he was tested by the school then. Turns out in hindsight that he had some food allergies that were making him lethargic, so the counsellor missed it. The gr 4 teacher said "he's fine", so we carried on. It wasn't until he had a totally anal teacher in grade 6 who would insist that everything was lined up neatly (not possible with our son) or a project redone 9 times until it was perfect, that the sh** hit the fan. He was stressed to the max and would be literally throwing up in the mornings before school. Believe me, you don't want it to get to that point. Crying in class just doesn't do much for your social status either, you know?

Get a neuro-psych consult asap, whether your DH is in denial or not. I should mention that my own DH was "exactly the same way in school", but has never been diagnosed as ADHD of any type. My son's dx was hard for him to accept, because deep down it meant considering his own imperfections and it hit close to home.
PB

Hi Josie. Sounds like my son with adhd inattentive. We did lots of diagnostic stuff to get to that diagnosis and I recommend that you do what you need to do to get a clear diagnosis. This site is a great place to get info an what it takes to get a diagnosis. Anyway, we have treated our son with homeopathy and is now doing great. Doctors generally don't know a lot about alternatives so when you get to that point be sure to investigate that as well. You have lots of reading and questions to ask so post away!!!Thanks for all of your replies, I will have to see what our insurance will cover-barely need to go to the doctor. But I did drop off a request for an evaluation at the school yesterday afternoon so hopefully they will let me know soon. I wish my daughter's teachers would have suspected or mentioned ADHD, but they never did. The teacher she has this year actually taught 2nd grade to my older child and will be retiring at the end of this year but maybe she just thinks my daughter is lazy- since the other one was on the other side of the spectrum (she always has done real well in school). I think this teacher is just burnt out too. Thanks again and I will have to post again when I have some news.

The behavior you are describing sounds exactly like my 9 year old son-before he was taken to the doctor and diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type last October.  He too was exhibiting the behaviors in class that your described...unable to sit still, unable to concentrate, organizational skills, ect.  Thankfully, he had a teacher with over 25 years of experience, who recognized there was a problem.

He is now taking Concerta 18 mg (after some hesitation on my part) and it has worked tremenously for him.  It is definitely worth taking to your doctor about.  As for dad, hopefully he can attend the doctor visits with you, and gain some insight into ADHD and what it is all about.  By visiting your doctor,  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

Good Luck to you and your family.

kwmom

My second grader does okay academically in school but has always had a problem with paying attention and following directions. This year she has had a problem with turning papers in (even if she has completed them) and just having poor organizational skills. Things are shoved in her desk rather than in the proper folder or handing them in. When doing written work, aside from messy handwriting, she doesn't seem to be able to write what the teacher wants to see-- she claims she runs out of time. Her achievement tests are good and like I said she does fairly well, but consistently gets bad marks when it comes to listening, organizational skills, and making good use of time. My older child and I think this may be a sign of ADHD, my husband though thinks otherwise. She is not constantly running around but does have a hard time of sitting still and I believe she acts inappropriately at times- goofing off in church (this is done primarily when I am around, she does behave better when her father is nearby so maybe its just the fact that she feels she can get away with poor public behavior with me- but there still are times when he has to tell her to cool it) As for sociallizing at school, I do not like the 2 "friends" she does like to hang out with. It seems like the 2 of them are friends and on somedays will be friends with my daughter, but she does not have "a best friend" it seems as if she is a follower. Are these signs of ADHD or is this no big deal?Who knows! But you have already stated a problem that needs attention. Use art for organization- use color and symbols- you are going to have to mark ever thing- so she knows where to put things. "LABELS, AND MORE LABELS" ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND HER ROOM. use color codes. Get her a one clear plastic file box for her home work she brings home. You will need to file for her for a long time- make it fun. Get her a one on one person to work with this summer- to do and finisher feel projects, ie. (Baby sitter high school age< both male and female.) Get her as many things as you can- dance, swimming, training training training- which includes you and her fathers involvement. Always have a reason to do something with a goal, besides fun, but it need to be fun. Le      The prinicipal called and I have a meeting with her (and I don't know if anyone else will be there, I guess I should ask) this coming Friday.  So I have no idea if this is the norm. after requesting an evaluation or not.  We'll see.okay, I got a note today and everyone it seems is going to be at this meeting. The principal, nurse, teacher, school psychologist, speech therapist and maybe 1 or 2 more people too--I left the note in the car. My question is what does IRT stand for? The principal referred to it as an IRT meeting and I can't think of what that stands for. Thanks.My daughter is 9 and when she was in 2nd grade, her  teacher also would call her lazy and most of all stubborn--she isn't a fighter with her teachers, but also in the handwriting category, she lacks a lot of skills and just flat out wouldn't do it because it took too much concentration. Our daughter has an LD that does sometimes go hand in hand w/ ADD which is processing delays--basically,it takes her a really long time to handwrite. We went through a tough summer of med trials, but now after almost a year of being on Strattera, she is better. That said, I think she might always have a tough time socially. She gets along better with either younger or older kids.

I actually got a phone call from the school Thursday saying they are working on the evaluation and will contact me Monday. Now I just have to figure out what exactly to say to my daughter about it.josie, you're ds sounds just like mine, now 13yo.  He completes homework and then fails to turn it in.  It was horrible in early elem school but has gotten better.  My ds has written output problems so now he types everything and e-mails a lot to his teachers.  We also found that a zipper notebook/trapper keeper is helpful with pockets for homework/worksheets.  I have to think that the neater and more organized house you have, the easier it is for ds (alas, this is not one of my strong points).  This year, my ds has only cried in class once or twice, so it's slacking off.  A dx with a good neuropsych is important, because kids like ours often have other issues that are causing problems along with the ADD and recognizing and treating those is an important part of treating the ADD.

Although kara is certainly right to point out the medication/alternative treatment questions, her post is a little too alarmist.  Talk to your doctor about medication and visit the alternative board as well.  I've gotten to the point where my motto is: "whatever works!"
Thanks, the organized house is not one of my strong points either.  Since she is only in second grade, she only has math homework on a daily basis, which is still a hassle.  When I try to show her how to do something, she tells me that I'm  telling her the answers even though I tell her that I'm just showing her how to figure a problem out for the times when she has to do work at school or on a test.  On her last report card the teacher told me that all of her social studies papers from the most recent unit were not even turned in.  I was checking her desk weekly and they were not in there, so it sometimes makes me wonder if my daughter did receive the papers, then where are they? and is the teacher positive that she did not turn any of them in.  I don't think it is like my daughter to throw them away.  Leave in desk: yes, garbage: not likely.  Sometimes is seems like the teacher has it in for her to me.  I don't know.

Hello there josie...

Sounds alot like my 9 year old son. Homework everywhere except the folders that are clearly labeled with what the subject is. Turning in homework and bringing homework home.....ugh!! Same type of deal with the backpack and crumpled up work. He sometimes leaves it in the desk. How about the homework monster??? Homework eft with my son  (checked folder) & does not arrive to the teacher. Try under the bed or at least that's where the Homework Monsster put it.

This school year my son has gone through at least 15 folders. Zippered binders help...sometimes.

In speaking to my son...he said that sometimes he doesn't turn it in because (even though I've checked it and it is correct) he feels he's going to have it wrong. Sometimes when I check his work he says "I know it's wrong." **Something you might check into.**

 

I would have to research the medications out there or see what her doctor would say, but I would at least know what the cause of her problems are.what if it is adhd? do u trust drugs? do u trust doctors? do u really want to change your child? don't u think your child will have a productive life after school without drugs? drugs u have no idea what could do to your kid in the long run. we teach our kids drugs are bad. they are drugs.

Don't forget, there are lots of us who treat our children very successfully without medication too. There is more than one way to help our children. The more important thing is that the dx is found and thought and research is done by the parent as to what treatment they feel is best for the child.

Kara, you should be able to ask someone if they have tried or researched alternatives to medications however I hope that you will learn to become more sensitive to the fact that people here are doing the best they can for their kids. Finding what works is a process.

Thank you Auntie for reminding all of us to be more sensitive with our word choices.

goinsunshine38824.3614351852

[QUOTE=kara]what if it is adhd? do u trust drugs? do u trust doctors? do u really want to change your child? don't u think your child will have a productive life after school without drugs? drugs u have no idea what could do to your kid in the long run. we teach our kids drugs are bad. they are drugs.[/QUOTE]

Parents here give their kids medication to help them function better in school and in life. 

Kara, maybe you better question your own choices.  Are you preventing your child from being the best they can be? Is your child going to resent you when at age 25, 35 they discover how helpful medication could have been to them - like so many member have discovered on our Adult board. And last but not least maybe you better not toss around the word "drug" so much. You make it sound like a dirty word when in fact drugs or medication helps millions of people with all kinds of illnesses.

If you want to be sure nothing is going on, take her to a NeuroPsych for an evaluation. They can diagnose ADHD and beyond (LD's and other stuff). To me, it's better to be safe than sorry (or guessing). You can find NeuroPsychs at Childrens or Univerisity Hospitals and they are different than plain Neurologists and do lots of performance testing to evaluate the child. Good luck :)

First, it is a myth that your child has to be hyperactive to have ADHD. There are 3 main types of ADHD and varying degrees to each. There is ADHD with hyperactivity, which is the one most people think of and the most likely to be diagnosed. There is ADHD impulsive, which means that the child acts impulsively but isn't bouncing off the walls. There is ADHD predominately inattentive which is what your daughter most likely has and the least likely to be diagnosed.

With ADHD inattentive, there is the child who is a dreamer, a loner, very quiet. The other is inattentive with some degree of impulsivity. Both of these manifest as mainly disorganization and inability to maintain focus.

Girls are much less likely to be diagnosed than boys as they don't show the degree of hyperactivity that boys do. The quiet, inattentive ones are just considered to be sweet little girls.

If you have insurance, an outside diagnosis is best. A neuropsych would be the best but they are expensive and not all insurance covers them. There is also a very long wait before you can get in for testing. You can go to a psychologist for testing but make sure it is someone who has a lot of experience in diagnosing and working with ADHD and other disorders. The ones who only diagnose ADHD are more likely to misdiagnose another disorder as ADHD so its important to look for one who sees other disorders also.

If you don't have insurance, you can notify the school in writing that you suspect your daughter has ADHD and you would like her evaluated for that and would like a complete educational evaluation done. This would help you determine whether or not there is the possibility of a learning disability also. ADHD often comes with another disorder so you want to cover all the bases. You have to request it in writing or it is likely to be ignored by the school. They are required by law to test when requested but it has to be in writing. Send it return receipt requested so you can prove they got it.

You really don't know for sure whether your daughter has ADHD until you have had testing done. It sounds very much like it to me and I strongly encourage you to have her tested. If she needs help, now is the time to get it for her, before the problems you mention interfere with her learning the basics that her education will be built on.

 

I agree with Barb. Your daughter sounds like she may have inattentive or combined type ADHD, but the only way to know is to get her tested. These symptoms take their toll if they are not dealt with.

Your being a great mom working on figuring things out to help her!!!