Retention | ADHD Information
I have read and heard repeatedly that ADHD kids are less mature and if he is academically doing alright, I see no reason for holding him back. The good days and bad days is not uncommon and as he gets older this will probably settle down. My ds is 17, and yes was less mature when he was younger, but if I had held him back, he would have been miserable academically. A bored ADHD kid is a recipe for disaster!Teacher thinks I should hold son back because of maturity...
My son is in 1st grade right now and his grades have been mostly A's / B's, with a few C's in Math. He does struggle in Math. His reading has really improved and he is able to comprehend. His handwriting is not the best, but it is legible and when he wants to, he can print neatly. He is ADHD and has been on med's since Kindergarten.
His teacher has already told me that she is going to recommend that we hold him back, mainly because of maturity reasons. She says that he has good days and bad days, as far as attention and focus go. When he has a good day, he can and will pay attention, focus, and complete his work.
She feels that once he matures, it will be much easier. She says that if we allow him to go to 2nd grade, he is going to continue to struggle. She has brought up to me how hard the TAKS test are going to be for him once he reaches the 3rd grade.
I am torn, and not sure which decision is best for him. I am scared that if we hold him back, and he suddenly matures, he will be bored in the 1st grade. But, on the other hand, if he doesn't mature, and we pass him on to 2nd grade, he will continue to struggle. I would hate to see him fail a grade also.
Any advice is appreciated!!!
KM'SMom,
I can't begin to tell you how much I disagree with the teacher. I can go on and on, but I'll try to sum it up 
.
Your son is passing and making good grades, so obviously, his "maturity" is not interfering too much with his education. He does not have to take the TAKS until third grade, so he has two more years to "mature" enough to pass the test. To hold back a child because of what could happen two years from now, I consider nothing short of ludicrous. You do not have any reason to think your child will fail future grades. Look how well he is doing now. He's making A's and B's, with an occassional C thrown in. That sounds good to me.
I agree with the the posters above!!! We are goint to hear from teachers from now on that our kids have good days and bad days and seem immature...such is the life of and adder!!! I am happy to hear that he is doing well in acedemics, that's great! The other stuff will come as his treatment continues (whatever that may be, don't remember that in the post) and he learns coping mechanisms that work for him. I agree with everyone else. Your child is doing very well academically. Holding him back with children who are a year younger will not hasten the process of his maturing. Your child would probably only be bored, and not be able to focus, or possibly develop behavioral problems, as children who are not challenged enough by their schoolwork often will.
I would not even hold back for academic reasons...I would tutor and have the school TEACH...
I agree joemom. If the child has a learning disability or a problem with learning as seen very often in Adhd children due to lack of focus, holding back will not see significant gains academically as these chidlren learn in a different way. Interventions and special accomodations is what is needed. Repeating the work doesnt address the struggles these children face and while repeating the same work may see a bit of a gain, its not enough for academic readiness for the next grade.Not a good Idea...Please look at the research regarding this...then ask your teacher to show you some research that indicates how retention can be helpful to your child.
http://www.schwablearning.org/articles.asp?r=315&f=searc h
joemom,
Thank you. That was a great article and very informative. I will definitely use this when I talk with the teacher and the principal.
In my heart, I don't feel that he needs to be held back. He has definitely come a long way since the beginning of school. And, he also has not received one ticket (for bad behavior) since the first of January. He has received some warnings, but so do other kids that do not have ADHD.
Thank you to all who have responded. This is definitely helping my decision of not wanting to hold him back.
I totally agree with the two above that you do not want an adhd child bored in class. Talk about not being able to pay attention! I would look into a math reinforcement for the summer.
I am adamantly against retention for a child, especially one who does well academically. It is not uncommon for children with Adhd to be two to three years behind maturity wise and retaining the child will not fix that. Teachers cannot predict long term results and long term consequences of retaining can terribly effect the child's self esteem. When a child has a disability of such nature, the correct interventions are what produce progress in the child. In your sons case whereas he is academically cutting the grade, if he is socially immature, social skills training classes would be a very effective intervention. Repeating the grade may serve to make your child more frustrated, bored and more distracted and the only message he may get is that he was not good enough to move on to the next grade. the gains seen are very minimal and not enough to compromise his feelings of self worth
Even if your child is retained he will still have good and bad days and if he has struggles with math, you can always get a tutor to help him through those struggles. My son is in college and still has struggles with math and writing and a year of retention would have made no difference for my son and many times it was recommended but I refused. I guess he didn't do all that bad if he's in college now.
Having Adhd will always present struggles in life and the key to positive gains are the interventions provided as the child grows. Holding back is not an intervention, its a further delay and may produce even more struggles and problems down the road.
This is strictly my opinion and may not reflect the views and opinions of others but readiness for children with Adhd with regard to maturity almost always lags behind the non Adhd'er. You know your child best and if your indecisive, do your own research on retention and that will help you in your decision making progress. My son is 19 and still lags behind maturity wise but, he is truly unique and I wouldn't love him any other way
Agreed... this is not at all what your son needs. My son has his good days and bad days as well, but has always maintained A's and B's with one C that came this year. His maturity and attentiveness in class has not been what it should be for his age but that is due to the ADHD or anything else that might be wrong with him. He is in the Advanced Learning Program at school for math and language and is very smart, as most ADHD kids are.
Point blank, if one of my son's teachers ever threatned to retain him I would be in the principals office in a heartbeat demanding that there be a meeting to discuss the teachers reasoning for this. If he is making the grade but not acting as the teacher feels he should, there is nothing that another year of 1st grade will do for him.
You know, I was going to post before anybody else did when this thread first went up, but wasn't sure if my answer would be right so I decided to wait. I shouldn't have, because it seems that my advice agrees with everyone elses. The teacher is crackers! Don't hold him back unless there is academic reasons. I think he'd feel like it isn't to help, that it's more along the lines of punishment.The school can retain a child without parental consent but the district school board has to provide an appeal process for parents that disagree with the teachers retention decision for their student. However, the criteria for retention is based on academic performance or lack of but in this case whereas the student is cutting the grade, I dont think the school has grounds for retention based on lack of maturity.
As long as your son is making good grades, I would feel comfortable letting him continue on to 2nd grade. The only reason a child should be held back is because of failure to understand what he or she is being taught. With your son making A's and B's, he's definitely understanding very well what he is being taught. He should be being praised for his grades, not being told he needs to repeat 1st grade. What kind of message is this teacher sending? His teacher can "recommend" all she wants, but you have the final say and what you feel is what matters.
One thing I am beginning to learn as a parent to a child with ADHD is that dr.'s and teachers can have all the education in the world, but none of it compares to a mother' instincts. If your instincts are telling you he should go on to 2nd grade, then he should go.
Good luck,
I'm pretty sure they need your OK on retention. If the teacher recommends retention, you can have him placed in the next grade rather than promoted by the teacher. You might want to check on that.
graciepoints wrote:
but the effective dose is generally a function of the child's weight, which will change as your DS gets older. Just a thought.
This is true for Straterra but not stimulant meds. The dose may have to be changed several times to reach the most theraputic dose or may have to be changed due to hormanal changes like puberty but the msot effective dose is not weight dependant.
Luvmykids0238820.3114467593[QUOTE=KM'sMom]Teacher thinks I should hold son back because of maturity...
My son is in 1st grade right now and his grades have been mostly A's / B's, with a few C's in Math. He does struggle in Math. His reading has really improved and he is able to comprehend. His handwriting is not the best, but it is legible and when he wants to, he can print neatly. He is ADHD and has been on med's since Kindergarten.
His teacher has already told me that she is going to recommend that we hold him back, mainly because of maturity reasons. She says that he has good days and bad days, as far as attention and focus go. When he has a good day, he can and will pay attention, focus, and complete his work.
She feels that once he matures, it will be much easier. She says that if we allow him to go to 2nd grade, he is going to continue to struggle. She has brought up to me how hard the TAKS test are going to be for him once he reaches the 3rd grade.
I am torn, and not sure which decision is best for him. I am scared that if we hold him back, and he suddenly matures, he will be bored in the 1st grade. But, on the other hand, if he doesn't mature, and we pass him on to 2nd grade, he will continue to struggle. I would hate to see him fail a grade also.
Any advice is appreciated!!!
[/QUOTE]
I'm in the same boat! My son is in the 2nd and has made the honor roll every 6 weeks. But, after talking to my son's neuropsy dr, I decided to retain my ds. The dr, teachers, and diagnostician all said if there is ANY doubt in my mind, then it's best to do it now than later. He has a modified lesson plan. My goal for my ds is to not have an IEP and take the same load of his class mates. My son is not really "disabled". He is ADHD, but other than that, he's as normal as the kids in the 1st grade. My ds is in the 2nd now. I made the decision to retain him now, so he will be up with his peers. I'm not saying it's the right thing to do with your son, but for mine, it is the right thing to do. I want him to be out of the program and a strong reader. 3rd grade is HARD!! I want him to be prepared. Staying in the 2nd grade next year will do that. He is a math wizard and is a slow reader. I just would rather do it now than him fail in Jr high because he cannot read well. honor roll with a "modified" lesson plan does not mean my ds is ready for the 2nd. But, I have a doubt and he is fine with the decision. He says that he will be able to play with his friends. Most of the kids he plays with on the play ground are in the 1st grade, so he will fit right in.
I suggest you talk to the diagnostician at your son's school and find out what she/he thinks.
Thanks to all who posted! I appreciate it!
I agree. If he is doing well academically, you should press to move him on. Our friends had their ADHD son retained (though both for maturity and some academic deficits) before he was diagnosed and they have gone through he!! this year with depression and agressiveness. Go for some tutoring over the summer, there are tons of programs and college students and such that can do math.
Also, IMHO, since your son is on meds, you might review your dosage level with your pdoc. A lot of parents seem to sit their kids at whatever mg dose was prescribed that worked last year, but the effective dose is generally a function of the child's weight, which will change as your DS gets older. Just a thought.
It seems to me that your sons teacher doesn t know anything about ADHD.
You should provide him some booklets about ADHD.