husband doesn’t believe I have ADD | ADHD Information
I am new to this forum... Here is a little about my situation. When I was a child I was tested for learning disorders and had my IQ tested. I don't know if they were testing ofr ADD at the time. My test was basically inconclusive. My IQ was high (I think, my mom won't tell me but the DR sd that I could be a "Rocket Scientist or a Brain Surgeon if I wanted.) I had problems all through school. I became more unruly, always had academic problems but never remember being hyper. I do know that I was always forgetful and didn't pay attention to anything that was going on around me, it seemed. I ended up dropping out of high school. I went to college and graduated with Bachelors in Fine Arts. I honestly believe the only way I made it through college was because my core classes consisted of painting, drawing, and sculpture. In my lecture classes I barely got by. FYI I went to college from 22yrs-26yrs old.I knew there was something about me that made me struggle in almost everything, I was disorganized, couldn't make a plan to save my life, can't pay attention even to things I wanted to know about, blah, blah, blah, you guys know the symptoms. I met a friend who has ADD and without me telling her anything about myself (I didn't know her very well at the time) she asked me out of the blue if I had ever been tested for ADD. That started my research...
I was just tested recently for ADD by a psychological testing center. The test results were inconclusive...
I went to my Dr. who prescribed me Adderall. This will be my third day taking it. I see results but at the same time I'm not sure how it makes me feel physically. I am going to give it some time.
When I got my results from my test my husband said that he never thought I had ADD top begin with. This hurt because we had been talking about it for about 2years and he never said anything like that. I had a hard time coming to terms with the idea that I may have a "mental disorder" I felt that it was a weakness and it took me a long time to evne be able to talk about it.
I didn't even tell him I had an appt wi/ my MD to get a prescription. When I did he freaked. He said that I should take PROZAC!! He is in the Pharmaceutical Industry (a rep) so, he knows enough to be dangerous.
The main problem is he keeps dismissing this HUGE problem I have had all my life that I am thankful to just finally have some sort of direction in.
So, what I am utlimately getting to is a few quesitons:
1. Has anyone had the same problems with their spouse or significant other? How do I deal with this?
2. Has anyone had inconclusive results and what have you tried and what has worked?
3. Has anyone been diagnosed with Adult ADD and not remember being hyper as a child?
I know this is long. I just really needed to vent to people who understand....
Please reply to any one of these questions or situations.
Thanks
Chaz, Thanks for your reply... I'm really curious to know what other people's ADD tests consisted of. I have posted that question as a topic but haven't gotten any responses that really answer my question.
About my husband, I think he may believe that ADD is real to an extent but he mostly believes that pharmaceutical companies use ADD as a marketing ploy to sell more meds. I do agree with him to an extent but, I know what it has been like to be me and how much I have struggeled so it bothers me to hear him chalk it up to a marketing scam that I have fallen for.
As for the addiction... I do have a rather addictive personality... That concerns me, I have never been "addicted" to anything but cigarettes and coffee but I have pushed the limits in my younger years. I really don't see myself abusing adderall. I just don't think that way about it, if that makes any sense. I'm just not sure how much the drug itself will play part in the addictiveness. I believe there has to be a mental state behind becoming addicted to it, I don't think I have it. A lot of this may sound contradictary... I don't think I am explaining it well... I just don't want to ever have to "come off" of anything and suffer withdrawals... That would suck and my life wouldn't allow for the down time. Yah know?
Hi ksgcsg,
As for your questions:
#1 - Many people do not really believe that ADD is a real condition. It is not uncommon for me to hear people talk about it as though it is just an "excuse" for poor dicipline in children. So your husband may hear this from co-workers. I am in sales also, and this can be a pretty blunt and tough group of people. Since it is such a performance oriented world, the general concensus is that anyone not performing up to par is not motivated and not trying hard enough. The only way to convince these folks is to get them to read about it (the fact that it is an actual brain-chenistry issue).
#2 - When I as tested my results were very clear. However, my doctor still treated me for depression first. Many symptoms of ADD can also be caused by depression or other conditions. Also, many people with ADD also have other issues (such as depression). Dealing with ADD, especially if you do not know you have it, ca cause all sorts of problems.
#3 - Yes. There are several types of ADD (mine is what is called "inattentive"). I really have no hyperactive component to it. I have a difficult time finishing things, remembering, staying focused, etc.
Asfor your treatment, be patient. It can take a while to find the correct medications in the correct dosages. Some take a while to begin having a significant effect.
In the meantime, read what you can about ADD, but also keep in mind that you may have some other issue or issues involved that may require therapy and/or coaching.
You also mentioned a concern about addiction.
Have you ever had problems with addictive behavior before (drugs, alcohol)? If you are a person who can socially drink and has taken prescription medications and have never had any problem, you probably do not have much to worry about.
We do build up tolerences to the stimulant medications commony prescribed for ADD and after some time may need to increase the dosage. But after a couple of years or so, it is not hard to stop taking it for a month, then go back to the original dosage.
Stopping these medications are not like "kicking" illegal drugs. I took Concerta for a while and then stopped. The only real effect I had was being very sleepy for a few days (like a coffee drinker withoiut his morning coffee). As long as you have a responsible doctor and you take what is prescribed, you should be okay.
I'm very surprised your doctor gave you medication when your results were inconclusive. Perhaps he feels the only way to find out is to see how your behavior is affected by the medication?
I suggest reading up on ADHD as much as you can. I personally like "Healing ADD" by Dr Amen and "Driven to Distraction."
I have researched ADD for about 2 years now. I can relate to almost all symptoms. Yes, trying th medication is what both my MD & my Psych suggested. They both said, independently of one another, that some people have ADD symptoms and do not test conclusively and will respond to stimulant medication... Before trying medication, how about trying all thenatural or non-harmful alternatives? A lot of these
things will work for a spectrum of problems
(e.g. ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar). So you can
benefit without even necessarily getting classified
("diagnosed").
A lot of people need more omega-3 essential fatty acids,
which are needed by the brain to work properly.
Getting more sleep can help.
Neurofeedback.
Cognitive therapy, as in the book "Feeling Good:
The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns. (Especially good
for depression, but also good for too much anger,
anxiety, procrastination etc.)
Phosphatidylserine.
Etc. See http://borntoexplore.org/alternatives.htm
You can choose to feel hurt by your husband's reaction,
or you can choose to feel supported. It's like if you
need to lose weight. You might get one kind of support
from a fitness teacher (honest advice that you need to
lose weight), and another kind of support from your
husband (lovingly telling you you always look wonderful).
I don't see anything necessarily wrong with that in principle.
There may be special things you like about your
personality type which are tied to ADHD-like behaviour.
In other words, ADHD can be seen as a personality type
which is a normal variant, each type being different
from others but not better or worse. You can read more
about this idea on Teresa Gallagher's "Born to Explore"
website: http://borntoexplore.org
Some people who are forgetful etc. have sleep apnea.
You might want to get tested for it.
Taking drugs like Prozac is dangerous. Taking nutrients
like omega-3 essential fatty acids and vitamin C can have
multiple health benefits.Thank you for all your information! I will certainly look into alternative treatment. I have been taking Adderall for about 5 days now and I don't think I like it....
1. I'm only 21 and not married (thank god), and I can't say I have had any problems with the people around me, my sister thinks that I shouldn't be taking meds, but my brother says he sees a huge difference in the way I conduct my life.
2. I had conclusive results so I can't comment.
3. I personally don't remember being hyper when I was younger, but my mother says that I was a handful always getting into fights with my brother and sister. I can't say that I don't remember, but I can't call it hyperactive because it was all so normal to me back then. I would say I was hard to get along with. What I do remember is not being able to pay attention for the life of me. So I did really poorly/struggled through school. I did manage to get into college though, I'm a senior at penn state.
I'm glad to hear you are in college! That seemed to do wonders for my self esteem!My husband is very concerned about the medication and developing a dependency. I agree with that part...
What kind of medication are you taking, if any?
Getting into college, wasn't and still isn't that big of a deal for me, I think graduating would be the one thing that would give me a real boost in self esteem. My friends all dropped out of high school, and one of them dropped out of college, I started out college doing pretty bad thinking that I would end up like them, but now that I am on medication my grades have improved A LOT. So I feel like I have a chance. I always felt like a loser, because my family is extremely successful, my brother is going to medical school next fall, and my sister is already an established nurse, my mother is a nurse, and my father is an engineer (both parents are retired now though). I'm sitting here struggling through school and feeling like a f**k up. I just got diagnosed a month ago and so far I've noticed a 150% improvement.
As for medication I'm taking 80 mg of strattera. I'm not rally dependent on it and nor have I relaly noticed any of the side effects, but if I take it without eating something I feel like I'm going to die. Other than that it has been doing wonders for me. What are you taking?
dieburnbot38234.6109027778You family situation is soooo much like mine! I always felt that I never added up to what my brother did. I have always said he was the "golden child". He soared through & I dropped out of high school... As for college, I agree, I was referring to graduating. Although, I quickly realized that I was able to graduate because I was in the Fine Arts Dept. I didn't have many lecture classes. The ones that I did have I barely got by in and worked my ass off to do so.... You were lucky, all of my classes are lecture classes, and before my medication I would literally sit in class and everything would go in one ear and out the other, same thing when I would try to read a book. I used to get pissed off and literally throw the book across the room. My brother used to make fun of me and say that I didn't know how to read.