Ruminations... | ADHD Information

Nothin' wrong with a strong libido.

Keeps the world populated with ADHDers.


One word of warning:

Stay away from internet whores.

It's not the STD's that'll get you, it's the bareback stabbing...
It's good to rant.

I had my own guided climbing business. But I let the pressure from...I don't know, society maybe? my wife? ...let it falter. We were slightly successful. 9/11 hurt the tourism business in our area, so the summer of 2002 was bad, but if I had put in the time and energy I could have had a great webpage, good advertising and could have drawn in a lot of business after 2002. But the big business aspect of it scared me to death. I guess I was afraid I'd bite off more than I could chew (and this was all on a "by appointment only" basis) or that I wouldn't be able to support my family, that I'd have nothing to fall back on if injury or sickness or some other unforeseeable event kept me from doing it. I really had no other skills.

So i started back to school and kept doing this business on the side, hoping maybe that I could get through school while keeping it going and when I got the degree, if the business was strong enough really start to push it and make it grow. If it wasn't I'd be able to drop it and find a job using my degree.

Well, school, family and the need for steady income in the off months drove me to other jobs, leaving me little time for my own business and last year I dropped it. My parents leased out the business that I had worked through to a climbing friend of mine and he started where I left off. He wanted me to work for him so I did last summer, but it wasn't the same, working for someone else in the business that I built for what felt to me like insulting pay. I quit midway through the summer and haven't looked back.

But there is a part of me that fantasizes about moving out west and starting up another adventure guide service, but next time it'd include more backpacking and hiking options along with the climbing.

Who knows, maybe someday...

Burrells - we all mess up.  What separates the idiot from the occasional mistake is LEARNING from them!! Big one for those of us here.

I hope you get an STD test - not just for you but anyone else you may decide to sleep with.  You can have an STD and never feel it but sterilize some innocent party from it.  That's all I have to say - the chance of herpes blisters all over should be a picture that sticks with you that works for me.

Unless you get your ADHD completely under control I'd say avoid business.  Been there failed that.  My last day in business was in 2001 and I just paid the last of the overdue taxes this month.  It wrecked my life pretty much and if you can't control basic urges and keep the money flowing you'll damage yourself and all around you.  Try to keep promises and do the right thing when you can.

I still goof (look at my new posting for proof of that) but now I learn.  Make totally new mistakes LOL.  Try to live your life the best way you can.

Sex addiction is pretty common for ADHD males (probably females too).  Talk to a therapist even if you don't want meds.  Therapy helps you keep the lid on straight and to make the right decisions.

I hope you can keep from going over that cliff buddy.  It's not easy I know that first hand.

Glen,

Can you tell me where you got your info. that sexual addiction is "pretty common for ADHD males." 

I've never heard this and I would like to know where you read it or heard it.

A person (ADHD or not) can love sex and enjoy it often with one partner.  This is a far cry from being addicted to pornography, having multiple partners or to frequent prostitutes.

I know that as a women with ADHD I've always been monogamous with an active sex life but never an "addict"! 

 

 

 

bepatient38830.9977893519

There are a few places I've read it - like in Dr. Hallowell's "driven to distraction" where he speaks a lot about either lack of focus on sex or in the opposite hyperfocus on sex. 

Like:

"Those who appear to be hyperfocused may turn sex into a form of extreme stimulation to help them focus.  Many adults with ADD are drawn to high-stimulus situations as a means of alleviating boredom or clearing their mind of distraction.  Some get involved in physically dangerous activities such as racecar-driving or vertical skiing or bungee-jumping or they get involved in risky activities like gambling or dangerous romances."

"For some adults with ADD sex acts as a kind of stimulating medication, and they use it to find not only the pleasure of orgasm but the pleasure of being focused"

p.117 Driven to distraction

"As an example of a person whose ADD led him towards hypersexuality, consider the case of Brian, a thirty-nine year old unmarried man who considered himself a "sex addict".  He constantly sought out flirtations or liasons with women, and he felt that he was incapable of resisting any sort of sexual temptation.  He was unable to maintain a long-term relationship because of his unremitting infidelities."

p.119 Driven to distraction

It's just the far end of the spectrum that is us.  Many end up disinterested (or simply unable to "get it together" long enough to initiate or complete sex) at the other end.

We also can show our tendency towards risky behavior by seeking out fringe or illegal sexual pornograpy or other types of release due to our adrenaline-seeking side.

So a person like this seeking out illicit relationships (hookers fall in there I'd say) sounds about par for a severe capital H ADHDer like our friend.

You aren't like him who isn't all that much like me in many ways.  That's our little ADHD rainbow of behaviors isn't it??

 

Sorry....but how sad and shallow.  Yes we are all different.. in similar ways!  

I love intense intellectual stimulation as well as a strong emotional and physical connection.  It's the whole package or nothing for me!

A couple of things just to get my head clear...

Did something totally stupid the other night.  I know that add'ers have a tendency to obsess or have addictions.  Mine is sex.  Not the nympho type, but more the excitement of sleeping with new women.  Have a girlfriend and women on the side, so I'm not lacking(This isn't meant to be a boast).  Anyway, I'm lying on the couch Monday evening and this urge comes over me.  Not arousal, but almost like something pulling at me and I can't get it out of me.  After an hour of debating with myself, I go through my phone book and call this lady I met at a bar.  She's home and I ask if she wants to go out for a drink.  Long story short, we go out, I start hinting around about sex, she puts is out there that she'll do it for 0 and we go back to her place and do the deed.  Afterwards, I feel like a pathetic loser for not being able to control my impulse and for going bareback.  Luckily, I tend to be on the shy side and I'm repulsed by street walkers, so it doesn't happen often.  However, I am always on the alert for new women to chase...

Another frustration is not following through on ideas.  I need and want to work for myself.  One idea I had recently was starting a small carryout pizzeria.  Where I live, the places to get pizza are mostly the big chains, family pizzerias and bakeries.  Little Caesers started offering a "Hot and Ready" large pepperoni pizza and others started following suit.  The problem with most of these places is a combination of too much on the menu, mediocre taste and poor/slow customer service.  My ideas is to serve only pizza and pop.  Either for a large pizza(Double cheese, pepperoni or sausage) or .50 for a 1/4 slice(including the sales tax).  With a simple menu and flat price, the customer will be in and out in minutes.  The pizza doesn't have to be exceptional, just fresh, hot and very good.  This would be for customers looking for speed, value and simplicity.  As long as I put this in the right neighborhoods I KNOW it will work(Not big on planning).  Also, I only need a small place and the simple menu would keep down start up costs and overhead.  So if I know it will work, what's the problem?  I can't motivate myself to take action, almost like I'm stuck.  No I don't have the money, but that's not a big obstacle because I could lease most of the stuff and the investment is low enough that I could raise the money.  This is one of the most frustrating things about myself.  I could and should be much further along and living life on my terms but I keep sabotaging myself. 

Oh well, that's my rant for today...