Life is getting in the way of living... | ADHD Information
I know what you're going through. I wrote a couple days ago in my journal: "I hate my life."Then I elaborated: I don't hate the people in my life. I don't hate myself. I don't hate the people that are causing the things that cause me to hate my life. But I hate the events that are slamming into my mental well being and rocking it off its foundations.
I go for months as sort of an everyday guy, flying under the radar, minding my own business, just boring ole me. And I'm content for the most part, even big bad things seem to pass within a couple days.
And then I have a month, or two, that seem to drag me further and further down and my spirits get lower and lower and lower. Bigger, badder things keep happening and they just don't seem to stop rolling over me.
But y'know what? Even in the depths of despair ("Throw him in the Pit of Despair!") I still manage to be one of the most positive people I know. I know things will get better. I have faith that they will and I know that most things in my life are really positive. We just seem to notice the negative more intensly. It's just in human nature to pay more attention to the bad than the good. But really, most things are good. Or neither good nor bad.
Bad things happen to good people.
Matthew 5:45 "that ye may be sons of your Father who is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust."
LIFE HAPPENS and it happens to ALL of us, good or bad, happy or sad, ADHD or boring non-ADHD people, tall or short, fat or skinny, dark or light, imbalanced or balanced...whatever.
But in the end it's what you make of it. I know that is SO cliche, but it is also so true.
Sometimes despite the raging chemicals in your brain, the dark and massive events resting on your chest, squashing the very breath out of you, despite mean people, dead pets and natural disasters you've got to:
1) Get up (whether lying down, sitting or under a piece of furniture)
2) Take a shower whether you need one or not. I find a shower often resets my day
3) SMILE- because smiling directly affects your nervous system, smiling DOES reset your day. If you can't fake a smile read a funny story, listen to the Ricky Gervais show, watch a Don Knotts/Tim Conway movie, talk to a three year old. MAKE YOURSELF SMILE
4) Do something...even if it's a little thing like throwing away all the garbage piled on your kitchen counter, whether you actually wash the dishes or not, do SOMETHING
5) Feel sorry for someone else. Find someone to help, the old lady down the street, your next door neighbor carrying in their groceries, someone at work who is new...helping someone else will always make you feel better. If they don't appreciate the help, find someone who does.
I don't know if any of this helps. It helps me when I do these things. Sometimes I can't get out of my funk long enough to see what I need to do.
But like Glen said: You've felt this way before and it's passed. Things come round again...no mood or emotion is forever.
Hugs from the shoe-less wonder on the board too. So sorry you are feeling this way. I understand how you feel, been there many times. I get into ruts myself, but I find things to get involved in to redirect my thinking. I also remind myself that a lot of it is just feelings and not reality. Doing things for others also helps me to feel better like Ascentionist said. Great posts and advice from Glen and Ascentionist. Hang in there, things will get better. Life is always changing and if it isn't, sometimes we have to push ourselves just a little bit more to make a change. Friends and support is a big help too. This board is great for that. Hope you are having a better day today.
Hugs to yaDee
lostmyshoe38828.3386458333
Life is getting in the way of living...I would say I'm having a bad day, but to say I'm having a bad life would be more appropriate. I'm so sick and tired of failure...
*hugs*
I think I may understand ... If you'd care to, this could be a great time to anonymously vent to people who want you to feel better ...
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way LTC1 
Countrygirl is right. You are not alone and what you're feeling is temporary.
We are here to support you. 
Sometimes, exercise can help - while waiting to improve your situation. It's hard to get started but 30 minutes of vigorous exercise can really change my perspective. Maybe, it could be of use for you also.
Lela -
Take some deep breaths and keep the following in mind:
You've felt this way before.
It passed.
Your negative voice comes and goes in waves. It always has and probably will until you get in control of it. You are in a strong negative wave. You know this inside and know it passes fast enough.
Everyone has an internal rythym. Ours tends to be flatter and towards the negative so we feel more sad more often. It's important to remember that the internal negative dialogue can be counteracted consciously. We need to begin to speak to our inner bummer and call its bluff. I do now and people probably think I'm nuts sometimes walking alone and they hear:
Negative Glen: "you're going to lose you know. your job - your relationship. It always happens and you know it damn well"
Positive Glen: "Shut up. We are different now. Things aren't the same and I'M in control now not YOU. I can do whatever I set my mind to and it's going to be better and very different. It's NOT the same anymore!"
Negative Glen: "you're fooling yourself. you can feel things slipping sometimes and that's always the first sign. Just pack it in and give up"
Positive Glen: "SHUT UP. I am you and you are me. We both know the meds are working and there isn't going to be that crash anymore. Things are always going to be better as long as it's the positive me and not the negative me in control. Ride it out!"
I find that if I whisper out the dialogue in my mind as I feel/hear it that it takes away it's power. No longer can it loop around when I'm suppressing it. That's essential.
Just know that there are truths you are ignoring:
You're getting help (you're here right??)
You are conscious that this feeling is wrong to you inside. It's overwhelming you and things seem very dark and far more serious than you probably think others would feel about the same events.
Failure can be defined as giving up. Are you going to give up on yourself?? You think we'll let you dangit?!?!
Chickie - smile inside a little. If you need a virtual shoulder there are plenty. Heck I have 2 available upon your request. Things always get better unless you lay down, cross your arms and give up the game.
PM me if you need to vent or whatever.
I couldn't help but notice the title in your thread. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. What can I do to help? Do you need someone to talk to privately...I'll be happy to, I'm a good listener.
tears fall from my eyes
my heart it hurts inside
I wipe my tears from my eyes
put a smile on my lips 
I'm a master at putting failures behind me
my heart it hurts inside
You have to let it out. You've posted this in other threads and I'm worrying about you. Whatever's bothering you just let it out. I'm not sure if I or anyone here can help but sometimes just getting it off your chest is a relief and allows the healing to begin. Do you have ppl in your life to help you? I run to my mother and sob to her when things are bad and it helps just talking to her.
Trust me, I feel that way all to often myself. This can not possibly be my life, there has to be more to it than this.
Hang in there Lela!
I'm sorry about how you feel. I wish there was more I knew to say or do.
I've certainly felt like a failure; I've felt all alone; I've felt like I needed to cover it all up. Maybe all that I can do is tell you that I've felt that way too.
I don't know what you've already tried to help yourself. I know that sometimes it can seem like everything has been tried.
In my case, I got to a point where I had to somehow get my own spirit back.
[QUOTE=LTC1] tears fall from my eyes
my heart it hurts inside
I wipe my tears from my eyes
put a smile on my lips
I'm a master at putting failures behind me
my heart it hurts inside
I know this feeling very well. I've voiced it myself. Know two things, ok?
1) You are not alone in this
2) What you are feeling is temporary
your heart makes my heart hurt too. Hang in there.
Lela, I'm so glad to hear your feeling better about things. You certainly sound like your in a better frame of mind.
I hope you're hired for the job and good luck with the court case.
When I lived with him, I had a break down. I lost my job. For two months I sat and stared or slept. I could not express myself verbally. I didn't even get dressed I stayed in my pajamas.Thanks to all...I'm feeling better...I had a good job interview...I still have a job...Legal aid said to counter sue my ex boyfriend. I'm giving it all to God. What will be, will be!
Glad to hear you are picking yourself up and dusting off. That's the way to go.
I'm glad too I'm in Canada as when you sue and lose here you have to pay for all the other side's expenses. That keeps these grudge suits down to a low growl.
The guy should have just walked away and wrote it off as a learned lesson. I can't stand whiny men who feel they need revenge.